After three hours, Barbara began to pace the room. She had been told the operation would take about two hours. Tommy should have been out of Recovery by now and back with her. She hurried to the nurses' station at the end of the ward and saw Rhindah, the South African nurse who had settled them in. The statuesque woman was on the phone as Barbara approached, forcing her to wait. Barbara watched her graceful movements as she filed records, checked charts and wordless directed an old man with a walking frame back to his room, all without loosing a beat in her conversation.

She tried not to stare, so looked around the station. Banks of lights indicated the status of patients in the rooms and the vital signs of the most critical ones were relayed to computer monitors along the back desk. Pamphlets for help lines, grief counselling and dignified funerals seemed to dominate the counter. Dignified seemed such a superfluous word. How many people wanted to give their loved ones an undignified send off? Any funeral director not providing dignity would have been drummed out of business long ago.

Barbara frowned then ran her hand through her hair. She shook her head, aware that she was picking up Tommy's habits and gestures. Impatiently criticizing the array of advertising material was something he would do. Right now she also wished she had his habit of cutting over people to demand answers. Or even of downing multiple scotches to face the world. In the last week her world had been put through the heavy duty cycle of an industrial washing machine and a twist in her gut told her that the tumbling of drying cycle was still to come.

"Oh, hurry up!" Her frustration boiled over into words. Rhonda looked across and smiled and mouthed that she would not be long. Barbara shuffled her weight from foot to foot as she tried to contain her temper. When the nurse hung up the phone, Barbara pounced. "Is there any update on Thomas Lynley? I thought he'd be back by now."

Rhonda gave Barbara the false smile of someone about to deliver bad news. It sent shivers down her spine. "I've just heard that he has just arrived in Recovery. The operation took a lot longer than expected. He should be brought up in the next forty minutes."

At least he was alive. "Why?"

"They need to monitor him and stabilise his pain levels."

Barbara winced. "No, why did the operation take longer? Is that a bad sign?"

Rhonda's saccharine smile returned. "That's something you will have to discuss with his doctor, Mrs Lynley. Would you like a cup of tea while you wait?"

"No. Thanks anyway. I' might go for a walk outside then I'll wait in his room. You have my number if you need me? I won't go far."

"Yes, Lady Asherton."

The air outside the building smelt of the city. Barbara took several deep breaths to rid her sinuses of antiseptic and impending death. For the first time in years, she wished she still smoked then she thought of the man she had heard earlier wheezing and choking as he fought for air through a tube in what had once been his throat.

She checked her phone to see there were three missed calls from Winston. She called him back. "Hi."

"How's the DI?"

"I don't know. The op took longer and he's still in Recovery."

"Stay calm, Barb. He's tough. He'll make it. So will you."

"Yeah, thanks. What's news at the station?"

"Hillier is still in shock. I'm not sure what hit him more, the DI being so sick, or that you got married."

"The marriage I hope. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before it happened."

"The email with the photo of you two kissing in that carriage was a great way to start the week. I always knew you two would end up together."

"Oh, did you indeed? I never did."

"Even in your wildest dreams late at night when you couldn't sleep?"

"That's very specific. Who do you lie awake dreaming of then?"

"Don't change this to me."

"No, not even in those fantasies. I guess I hoped we might get together in some way. Never that we would marry."

"Nah, you two will be great. Drive the neighbours nuts with your bickering, but I guess if you own the estate, it doesn't matter."

"So what did Hillier say?"

"He was apoplectic. All red in the face and spluttering. Everyone was laughing at him. He can't believe that you both resigned like that. He hasn't processed your paperwork yet. I think he hopes you'll both come back after the DI is better."

"No. We've finally found happiness, Winston. We won't be back."

"What if...?"

"No, I won't come back, especially if that happens. I couldn't be there without Tommy."

"Let me know when he can have visitors. Lafferty and I would like to come over and say hi. Did you know Stuart had a bet placed with a bookmaker about you being Lynley's next wife. He had odds of 230 to 1. He made quite a tidy profit."

Barbara pulled the phone from her ear and looked at it before putting it back to answer. "He did what?"

"He made a killing actually."

"Did everyone know something we didn't?"

"Yeah, of course. You two were, are, made for each other."

"Well tell Stuart he should donate his winnings to a children's charity. Or at least part of them." Barbara's voice was beginning to catch.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, Barbara. Probably just an ulcer or something."

"It will be what it is. We'll know soon. I'll call you tomorrow, Winston."

Barbara wandered back to Tommy's ward. If the cream walls and gaily coloured framed floral prints were supposed to engender a feeling of peace, they had the opposite effect. She felt trapped in a world pretending to be something it could never be, ignoring the human pain. She wondered how many scared husbands and wives had sat in the same chair staring at their futures hoping, sometimes beyond reason, that their partners would be cured. The collective fear reached out from the walls. She stood and undid another button on her shirt trying to get more air into lungs that were constricted by the weight on her chest.

The next half hour was agony until she heard the gurney trundling along the corridor. Tommy looked pale but managed a weak smile as he was wheeled into the room. Barbara reached out and tried to take his hand.

"I'm sorry Mrs Lynley, but you need to wait outside until we make your husband comfortable."

Barbara was shunted into the corridor. She paced for ten minutes before they let her back in. "He needs to rest. You are welcome to stay, but let him sleep."

"Hiya," she said taking his hand. It felt heavy but he managed a soft squeeze. Intravenous lines were attached to his arm, one providing fluids and a second replenishing his blood. A partially filled catheter bag hung beside the bed and a thick tube filled both his nostrils. Barbara was not sure if it was providing air or to drain the stomach as the doctors had warned might be necessary. Tommy had heavy dark circles under his eyes and his skin was clammy.

"I missed you." His voice was barely a whisper.

"Not half as much as I missed you. The operation took longer than they said. Did the doctor tell you anything?"

"No. Said he'd be up later."

"Are you in pain?"

"No, I still feel high. I can understand why drug-users become addicted. It's much smoother than drowning in scotch."

"Don't get too used to either."

Tommy grinned at her. "Oh, laying down the law now are we, Lady Asherton?"

"It's my job to keep you safe."

"You always have."

Barbara bent down and kissed him gently. "You should sleep. I'll be right here."

Tommy was still asleep when the doctor arrived. Dressed in a pinstriped navy and white shirt with a red bowtie, Barbara initially struggled to take him seriously. He checked the chart then examined the huge dressing that seemed to cover Tommy's entire abdomen. Patches of blood had formed dark stains in a long line across his stomach.

"Lord Asherton," he said shaking Tommy awake, "it's Doctor Liddy."

"Doctor," Tommy replied, "what did you find?"

"I won't beat around the bush. There was a malignant tumour attached to your stomach. It appears to be a lymphoma emanating from one or more lymph glands near the duodenum." Tommy squeezed Barbara's hand painfully. She looked over and tried her best reassuring smile.

Liddy continued, oblivious to their reaction. "I removed it and resected your stomach. I was able to save over eighty percent of that so you should have near normal gastric function. If you have any questions I will come around tomorrow."

"Questions. Of course we have questions," Barbara nearly yelled at the doctor.

The doctor softened his tone. "I understand Lady Asherton. Until we conduct further testing on the tumour and do some more scans tomorrow, we are not in a position to discuss treatment plans or prognosis. All I can say is that I am confident that we have removed all of the tumour. Whether there are more, or how likely the cancer is to return, I cannot speculate at this stage."

Barbara sank back into her chair. "Thank you, doctor," Tommy said as he squeezed her hand, "we understand."

Liddy wished them a peaceful night then scurried away. Tommy stared at the ceiling. Barbara watched him, for the first time truly scared that she might lose him. "It's good that they got it all."

"Yes."

"How do you feel?"

"Sore and numb. I think I knew all along it was cancer."

"It's only a word not a sentence. Treatments are much better now."

"You don't regret it, do you?"

Barbara stared at him trying to work out what he meant. "Regret what?"

"Marrying me. We should have waited until we had a prognosis. Now you're stuck with me. No, I'd never do that. I'd never hold you. We can have the marriage annulled."

"Stop it! I don't regret it and don't you dare try to push me away. Not now. We might not have said for better or worse in the service, but that was my intention. I am your wife. I will stay your wife until the day, hopefully in the distant future, that one of us dies. Do you understand me?"

Tommy grinned at her. "Yes ma'am."

"That's better."

"Thank you, Barbara."

"I love you, you idiot. As if I would leave you because of this. You have to try a lot harder to get rid of me."

"I concede defeat and will never accept that challenge."

Barbara leant over and kissed him. "We'll manage. We always do."

It is at this point that the story diverges. Chapters 5 and 6 will be alternative endings for the story. I think most of you will choose Chapter 5, but Chapter 6 was the original way the story came to me, so had to be written. They will be published together in a few days.