Will this ever fucking pass? It's been here too long, and I know it too
well to let it go. Damn it. Why did I have to get myself stuck in this? Now
I can never get out. I can never admit that I need help. It would hurt
everyone too much. I have long since graduated high school. I'll never see
those people again. Being beautiful for them is in the past, so why is this
still an issue with me? I'm scared. I'm 23 years old. A grown woman. This
is a teenagers problem....not mine. This doesn't exist. Just ignore it and
it'll go away....
"Holy shit Piper."
I looked behind me. It was Leo. Damn. What does he want now? He hangs around too much. He needs to get a fucking life of his own and stop bothering me.
"What?"
"What the hell do you think!" He screamed. "You've been trying to hide this the whole fucking time but I know you too well. Look at you Piper. You look like a fucking skeleton. If you think that's attrative then fine, because I don't."
He ran out of the room. I've never seen anyone get that mad before. Or that hurt. He was practically crying and yelling at me at the same time. I guess I can't blame him. I'm so damn fat....
I glanced in the mirror and quickly looked back. Who was that person looking back at me? For the first time since I was 17 years old I saw my real reflection. My eyes weren't lying to me anymore. I wasn't a struggling teenager anymore. I was a sick woman. My hair wasn't the way it used to be. It was thin...falling out. And my skin. It was almost yellow looking and had tiny hairs all over it. I could see every rib, my hipbones jutted out, I could see every bone. My eyes were dark and sunken in. The person in the mirror disgusted me. I disgusted myself. Leo was right. I looked horrible.
~&~
"Leo. Help me."
"What's the point Piper? You wont listen."
He wouldn't look me in the eyes. Maybe he was still scared of me. Scared that I might go off on him. I was starting to feel a little better. I felt confident for the first time in 6 years.
"I will. I don't want to die Leo. Please. I can't do this alone."
He smiled. "I'll do everything I can. Just don't die on me. I can't lose you...."
I smiled back and looked down. "Leo....I love you."
"I love you too Piper. Everything is going to be okay."
~&~
She's going absolutely crazy in that hospital. Sometimes I wonder if it's even helping her at all. It had to be though. She had to be okay. She had to live a long, healthy life. No more of this staving shit. I want the Piper I used to know. The Piper who didn't care only about appearence.
"Leo. I feel sick. I don't think I can do this..." She told me honestly.
"Yes you can Piper. You can do anything."
Food absolutely disgusted her. She barely ate, but still, she did eat, and that was progress. Slowly, she began to gain weight. She was looking healthier everyday. I kept thinking that one day she would just completely give up. But she hasn't. So far anyway.
To Be Continued
"Holy shit Piper."
I looked behind me. It was Leo. Damn. What does he want now? He hangs around too much. He needs to get a fucking life of his own and stop bothering me.
"What?"
"What the hell do you think!" He screamed. "You've been trying to hide this the whole fucking time but I know you too well. Look at you Piper. You look like a fucking skeleton. If you think that's attrative then fine, because I don't."
He ran out of the room. I've never seen anyone get that mad before. Or that hurt. He was practically crying and yelling at me at the same time. I guess I can't blame him. I'm so damn fat....
I glanced in the mirror and quickly looked back. Who was that person looking back at me? For the first time since I was 17 years old I saw my real reflection. My eyes weren't lying to me anymore. I wasn't a struggling teenager anymore. I was a sick woman. My hair wasn't the way it used to be. It was thin...falling out. And my skin. It was almost yellow looking and had tiny hairs all over it. I could see every rib, my hipbones jutted out, I could see every bone. My eyes were dark and sunken in. The person in the mirror disgusted me. I disgusted myself. Leo was right. I looked horrible.
~&~
"Leo. Help me."
"What's the point Piper? You wont listen."
He wouldn't look me in the eyes. Maybe he was still scared of me. Scared that I might go off on him. I was starting to feel a little better. I felt confident for the first time in 6 years.
"I will. I don't want to die Leo. Please. I can't do this alone."
He smiled. "I'll do everything I can. Just don't die on me. I can't lose you...."
I smiled back and looked down. "Leo....I love you."
"I love you too Piper. Everything is going to be okay."
~&~
She's going absolutely crazy in that hospital. Sometimes I wonder if it's even helping her at all. It had to be though. She had to be okay. She had to live a long, healthy life. No more of this staving shit. I want the Piper I used to know. The Piper who didn't care only about appearence.
"Leo. I feel sick. I don't think I can do this..." She told me honestly.
"Yes you can Piper. You can do anything."
Food absolutely disgusted her. She barely ate, but still, she did eat, and that was progress. Slowly, she began to gain weight. She was looking healthier everyday. I kept thinking that one day she would just completely give up. But she hasn't. So far anyway.
To Be Continued