As soon as I pulled my chair out to sit at the table with my friends, Angela pounced on me.
"Bella! Where were you? What happened? Omgdidyoukiss?" Angela gasped and her words began to jumble together.
"" And then I kinda got lost.
"Angela take a breath, let Bella eat her lunch." Said Ben as he put his phone away.
I smiled and mouthed 'thankyou' as I began eating.
"Fiiiiine." She replied reluctantly, stretching the word to unnessacary lengths.
Angela usually wasn't the kind to gossip or blabber on. In fact she was almost always completely calm and composed. The only time she wasn't, was when it concerned me. She was a great friend, my best friend actually and I was happy to put up with this side of her even though it bugged me.
It bugged me because this side only came out when it concerned boys. She was pretty adamant on getting me a boyfriend, or in her words 'just a hook up because thats always a fun adventure'. Although I don't know where she got all her knowledge from because Ben was only the second guy she's kissed and is her first real relationship.
After a few minutes I couldn't take it anymore. She was just sitting there staring at me. And when I say staring I mean like full on, eyes wide, big smile, only blinking once every 30 seconds. It was freaking me the hell out!
"After I embarrassed myself for the whole lesson I managed to knock all my shit onto the floor and he helped me pick it all up but because I'm Bella I managed to take forever and by the time we walked out, class had already started and then I got distracted by his eyes, his beautiful green eyes, so rich and-" Angela kicked me under the table and I attempted to get back to my rambling story.
"And then the principle came so we ran and then we hid and we were so close, like so freakin' close, I could feel his breath on my skin, and it was awesome but then I started being Bella again and shit went down. And then we ditched."
"Wow. Interesting, now get to the good parts. And would you stop referring to yourself in third person? It's really weird."
"What? No I wasn't."
"Uh, yes you were."
"Nuh-uh!"
"Yuh-huh!"
"No way Angela I never do that!"
"Yes you do! You did it just now!"
"Did what now?"
"Refer to yourself in third person!"
"No way!"
"Yes way!"
"I would never do that Ang!"
"But you just did!"
"Did what?"
"Huh?"
"What?"
"What?"
Then we continued to stare at each other with confused looks on our faces until Ben got creeped out and began talking to Angela. She reluctantly tore her eyes away from mine and engaged herself in a conversation with Ben.
I was too absorbed in my own thoughts to even try to pay attention. I had skipped second period and therefore Spanish with Angela. Somehow she had managed to figure out where I'd been and who I'd been with. I knew I would get hit with a million questions at lunch but I wasn't ready to talk just yet.
So when she asked what happened I rushed through the basics and then purposely confused her so she would forget all about. And now that Ben had her successfully distracted I could attempt to make sense of my thoughts.
We hadn't gone far as we agreed we would go back for third period. We were sitting on the hilltop just at the edge of the school grounds. The sun was shining and our conversation consisted of meaningless friendly chatter which seemed to fill the air around us. But then of course I went and asked a stupid question which led to an amazing answer from him and then a shocking analysation from me in return.
I remember it so clearly because it was still running through my mind on replay.
"But why do you like it? I never understood your fascination with books."
He turned to look at me slowly and regarded me carefully before answering.
"I don't know Bells, I think it's just a great way to escape. You know, get lost in another world, let the words consume you until your heart is racing and your mind is spinning. Books just, they give you, they let you live through them. Because if your own life is terrible, or boring, or unbearable you can escape to a place where anything can happen. They just set me free."
I didn't know what to find more captivating, it was a close draw between the fact that he called me 'Bells' and his explanation for books which seemed to be still sinking in to my thick head.
After a few minutes of silence I finally found my voice and spoke up.
"It's the same with your music isn't it?"
He said nothing as he looked out at the hills stretching into the distance.
"You live your life that way don't you? Always taking chances, never dwelling on the bad. It's impulsive and free and fulfilling. You're always so happy and you always think of others. It's incredible I mean-"
"How do you do that?" he interrupted me with a shout. It wasn't and angry shout, kind of excited and wondering.
I stared at him blankly, I couldn't comprehend his words. I was once again lost in his eyes and I felt myself falling.
"How do you know me?" he said puzzled.
"I uh, I don't know what, um, what do you mean?" I stuttered as I remained utterly confused.
He smiled and let out a short laugh.
"It's like you can see into my soul, like no matter what I say you'll understand, its just-"
He stopped abruptly and then asked a question.
"Why did you leave me Bella?"
This time I knew exactly what he was talking about.
We had always been inseparable, you'd never see one of us without the other. We had made a pact as soon as we could walk and talk. We promised each other that we would always be there to look after the other and that we'd always share our cookies and toys.
We were so young, but it obviously meant something to him and now I can't help but think what it meant to me. Had I really just forgotten about him so quickly? I wondered how I'd lost myself after the fire. Was I even the same Bella anymore?
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
When he asked the question I knew he wasn't just talking about my family actually leaving the town. He was referring to the fact that after a few months, I stopped calling, and emailing and texting. I remember getting letters in the mail but never reading them because I had gotten so distracted.
I felt horrible and I can only just imagine Masen as a young boy writing those letters at his desk, his forehead scrunching up in annoyance, and then pinching the bridge of his nose in anger as he realised that I wasn't writing back.
"It's ok Bella. I get it." He said quietly.
The bell rang signalling the end of second period. Without saying another word, he got up grabbed his things and headed back towards the school.
"I don't." I whispered at his retreating figure.
What did he mean when he said 'Its ok Bella, I get it.' It sounded so harsh in my own ears.
I looked over towards the school and realised I was going to be late if I didn't hurry. By the time I made it to math everyone was already seated.
I sighed and headed for the only empty seat. Which was behind Mitch. Farting Mitch. My friend Zoey shot me an apologetic look as I walked down the isle of tables to sit behind Mitch. Farting Mitch.
Once again the bell rang evidently stating the end of lunch and the start of fourth period. So I headed of towards art, taking my time because I knew Jess was in this class. I just want the day to end I thought as I sat down and let out a sigh.