Its the night of the dance and I can't believe Funnie actually showed up. He sure looked lame in that slug suit dancing with the beautiful flower that is Patti Mayonnaise. Me? I came to the costumed school dance as a hammer. For one, tools are very manly. And second, ever heard of "Hammer Time"?! Its the perfect costume for a dance! Way better than Funnie's costume! She still wanted to dance with him instead of me though. Why? I don't know! What does Funnie have that I don't?! I'm cooler than Doug, tougher than Doug, and way better looking than Doug, so why did she pick him over me?! Even though I'd never admit it out loud, Patti's rejection hurt and even worse, people were laughing at me because of it. Talk about embarrassing. And you know what? Nobody embarrasses Roger Klotz and gets away with it! Especially if its because of a loser like Funnie! So for revenge, I went to the refreshment tables and stole some ice to put down Funnie's back. However it didn't go according to plan. I accidentally dropped the ice and and slipped… I did end up hurting Funnie's foot with my fall, but Patti, being the sweet girl that she is, just went along with Doug's painful hops and pretended that it was a new kind of dance. Next thing I know, everyone is hopping with them while I'm stuck laying on the floor unable to get up. One of these days, I will make Funnie pay!