A/N: Thank you for the reviews!

Erin felt like someone had shoved her backwards into this dark abyss and she was stuck, falling, tumbling head over heels, down this never ending black hole. Natalie's words kept reverberating around in the pitch black. You will never be able to have children. You will never be able to have children. Erin hadn't ever thought about if she wanted kids, but since she had started dating Jay, she thought about how cute his kids would be. She had thought about how cute their kids would be. Now, they were just the kids who would never exist.

"Erin, come back to me." Jay sounded crushed as his words managed to break through the wall of Erin's thoughts. She felt him squeezing her hands, his thumbs stroking gently over the top of her hands. "You're going to get through this." He still felt so tongue tied on what all of the right things to say were. He wanted Erin to know that she wasn't alone. "I'm here. I'm here for you."

"I'm ruined." Erin's voice barely broke above a whisper. She opened her eyes and stared up at Jay. He could see the torture that swirled in Erin's hazel eyes. He knew that she truly believed what she had just said. Her entire mindset had been shattered and destroyed. It was going to take a lot of time to stitch it back together, but Jay didn't care how long it took. He had no other plans than to help her in whatever way she needed him.

"No, you are not. You're not ruined. You're going to be fine. I love you." Jay couldn't stop himself from spilling out his heart to Erin. They'd only been officially dating again for a few months but it didn't matter. He knew that she was his soul mate. He knew he had loved her since pretty much the first day he had stepped into Intelligence. He couldn't imagine spending the rest of his life with anyone else but her and this didn't change anything. He loved her.

"I love you too." Erin responded without a second of hesitation. She knew that she loved the man in front of her more than she thought possible, but after what had happened today, she had never thought he would say it to her. She thought he would be sprinting away from her as quickly as he could. "But you still want to stay with me after this?" She looked downwards for a moment before she looked back up at Jay. Jay felt his heart throb as he saw the look in Erin's eye. The look that said she felt worthless, disgusting, and broken. The look that was full of fear, self-loathing, and hurt. The look that made Jay want nothing more than to pull Erin into his arms and rock away the memories and the pain. "I can't have babies." Her voice was so quiet, Jay had to lean in to hear her

"Erin. I love you. My love for you did not change based on what happened to you, even if you can't have babies. I will be here to support you. I don't care what it takes to help you recover, I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere. You are not broken. You will heal. It doesn't matter how long it takes. I'm staying by your side. I will be here for you." Jay still felt like he was butchering his words but he wanted to try to make sure that Erin understood exactly how he felt. He wasn't leaving her side. He was serious that he didn't care what the recovery took or what Erin needed, he would be there for her.

"You want to stay with me? I'm disgusting." For what felt like the millionth time in the past day, tears filled Erin's eyes. She felt tears burning behind her eyelids before pouring down her cheeks. She was not normally such an emotionally person and all of these tears were so unlike her, but her body didn't even feel like it belonged to her anymore so the hyper emotions sort of made sense. Even with pain medication, Erin still felt the piercing pain that radiated into her groin. None of this felt like it was her body. Nothing felt right.

"You are not disgusting. I am never leaving your side. I have nowhere else to be. I don't want to be with anyone else. Do you want me to hold you?" Jay was desperate to have Erin in his arms. He didn't want to push her beyond what she felt comfortable with, but maybe she wanted or needed to be held. That was what she always wanted when she woke up from nightmares or after an exceptionally tough day at work but this was completely different.

"I, I don't know." Erin choked on the last word as she looked at Jay's face. She wasn't quite sure if she wanted to feel anyone touching her, not even Jay. She knew beyond a doubt that Jay would never touch her in the way that he did but she just was still so uncertain. Every tiny noise or shadow made her jump. She wanted to get a handle on herself before she let anyone hold her and if she added in the excruciating pain still throbbing between her legs, she didn't know if she could even handle the extra pain that would come with being held. "I'm sorry." She burst into tears as she scanned Jay's face. She saw the hurt and worry written in the creases on his forehead.

"Don't be sorry. Don't apologize for anything. I'm the one who is sorry." Jay hated himself for even suggesting it. It was heart-wrenching to hear her cry. Jay was going to have to quickly learn how to keep a careful lid on his words. Erin nodded as she squeezed Jay's hand. She could okay with holding Jay's hands because they were keeping her centered and grounded. There was still pain medicine circulating through her body and her head still felt foggy. She kept a firm grasp on Jay's hands because they were real and safe.

"He's dead, right?" Erin shut her eyes as she flashed back to Jay bursting through the door. She could see Jay's face, full of rage and pure hatred for that man, as he shot him clean through the middle of his forehead. The whole horrific incident was finally starting to patch together in her head. Erin wasn't sure if knowing what had happened to her or not knowing what happened to her made her feel better. She didn't know how hard she wanted to push herself to remember all of the details. Her brain was so muddled. She still kept hoping that this was a sick and twisted nightmare but deep in her heart, she knew it was real.

"Yes. That bastard is dead." Erin heard the contempt and repulsion in Jay's voice as his grip tightened on Erin's hands. Jay's face twisted in anger for a moment before he gave Erin a tiny smile. She had become an expert at reading his facial expressions and he didn't want her to think he was mad at her. He was seething mad at himself for taking too long to get to her and he was so angry he saw red when he thought about Pete Damien. "You're safe."

"Thank you." Erin breathed quietly as she blinked a few times and let her eyes close. The pain medication was dragging her back under and while Erin didn't want to close her eyes again, she wasn't sure how long she could fight it. Erin went almost willingly into the darkness, hoping that the thought that Jay wasn't going to leave her side would help her sleep.

A/N: I put a lot of heart into each chapter as it is a very sensitive topic and I want to make sure to get it right, so hopefully I have done this chapter justice. I know it might seem like filler but I don't want to rush.