"I used to be an animal news reporter." JD said, leading Perry into a bedroom just as cluttered as the front hallway. "Problem was, sometimes the animal authorities didn't like what I reported. Most of my star stories were somethin' like 'Police Clueless, Silencers Victorious'. So I kind of had to go into hidin'. But when I was young and out on the streets, I knew a lot of the tricks and shortcuts gangs had."
JD opened a bedside drawer filled with newspaper clippings. They didn't appear to be in any kind of order, but he was able to pull one out without looking at it and handed it to Perry.
"Take a good look at that." He said triumphantly.
Perry read.
The Abandoned Danville ice-skating arena was reported to hold the vicious gang, the Troubadours, by JD Curran on Antaminal News. Curran said that he had located them after tracking one of the members who had spray-painted the Troubadour mark on the Silencers' hideout. Curran is certain that if the Troubadours do not move, they will get more than they bargained for. The Silencers are a very dangerous group of animals.
"I remember it well." JD said when Perry finished reading. "They packed up and moved right after I made that report. I guess I shoulda known they'd watch the news. But one of the members freaked out and knocked on my door. He said he'd quit the gang and offered to give me their new location: an apartment building in the city neighboring the tri-state area. Apartment 207."
"You're sure they're still there?"
"Only one way to find out." JD said. He picked up a pencil and a ripped piece of a record cover, scribbled an address, and handed it to Perry. "Go on over there and check it out."
"Fine. Get your coat or whatever."
"I don't think I'm goin' anywhere." JD said.
"You have a car, don't you?"
"It's complicated. You see, I haven't left this house since I near got kidnapped by a gang long ago."
"The fresh air'll do you good. Come on. I have no practice dealing with gangs. Well, that's not exactly true, but I doubt I can get another gang member to fall in love with me."
"Fine, then." JD mumbled. He dug around in the desk drawer, produced some keys, and led Perry out of the room.
...
After driving past buildings Perry knew well, and then past many others he didn't recognize, the streets they drove on began to look more uninhabited and sketchy.
"Nice place to live." Perry joked.
JD snickered. "You should see the inside of those places. Dig around in the back, will ya? There's a handheld back there."
"A handheld what?"
"Just in case it gets ugly." JD said.
Perry dug around in a sea of records. "You really like music, huh?"
"It's the only thing I got, really." JD said. "I learned through music."
"No one taught you about houses or standing up or furniture or anything?"
JD shook his head. "My bro and I were wild. I found a record store by accident. The owner fed me and named me Jason Dexter, but to him I was nothin' more than a stray animal. I'd come into the shop and listen to the music. I watched the store owner put records on. I learned how people paid and purchased. I hung around humans more. Eventually I bought my own house, bought records from the very store owner who fed me and named me, and started livin' on my own. Then Prince showed up on my doorstep. I recognized her, of course. My brother had showed her to me the night she was born. Said she had nowhere to go. Asked to move in with me. You probably know what happened after that point."
Perry handed JD the small gun he had found in the backseat. JD placed it at his side.
JD parked next to a fire hydrant that looked more gray than yellow. It had quite a few bullet holes in it.
"Be very careful." He warned.
"I promise I won't drive the car directly into the apartment." Perry got out of the car.
JD led him up to a chain-link fence between two buildings. Behind the fence was a flight of stairs, leading to a single black door.
"What now?" Perry whispered. "We can't just go up, knock on the door and ask them to hand Prince over."
JD began to climb the fence.
"Are you CRAZY?" Perry hissed.
JD jumped and landed on the third step. He began to climb the stairs.
Perry held out his grappling gun.
"Open the door." JD commanded, concealing his gun behind his back.
Perry heard a couple of locks slide aside. A cranky-looking tiger had opened the door.
"What do you want?" The tiger growled.
"My niece." JD said. "Prince? She with you?"
"Ah, yes. The accomplice." The tiger grinned. "Sorry. I'm afraid she's busy being a prisoner at the moment."
"Whaddya got against her?" JD asked.
"Oh, nothing. We simply assumed that the person who she stole Plastic Jimmy with would come to get their accomplice. She doesn't have the bunny, you see."
"Hmm." JD said. "The person who stole it may be long gone. Ever heard of the scapegoat trick?"
"Oh, no. He's right here." The tiger said.
JD held out his gun. "I got nothin' to do with this. I'm just tryin' to get my niece back."
"Likely."
Shots rang out. Perry tried to aim, but he couldn't tell who anyone was. The tiger obviously had backup. More animals were on the stairs than just two.
JD scrambled down the stairs as the confused Troubadours continued to tussle at the landing. He climbed over the fence.
"He's getting away!" The tiger shouted.
Perry felt a bullet soar past his face. He caught JD as he leapt over the fence and they ran.
Shots flew past them, nailing the front of JD's car.
"GET IN!" JD shouted.
Perry didn't have to be told twice. They sped away, gunfire still sounding behind them.
"Gonna take a few different routes before home." JD said breathlessly. "Just so they don't follow us."
"Did any hit you?"
"Couple on my tail when I was goin' up the fence. I'll be all right." JD wheezed a little.
"Do you need me to get someone?"
"No… not now. I'll… get home first."
They drove in silence for a while.
"We didn't get her back." Perry said.
"I'm real sorry 'bout that." JD said. "I tried to get in. There were too many of 'em."
"Why does everyone want Jimmy or whatever?" Perry asked.
"Some say that Rex, the leader of the Silencers, created it as a symbol of his power. Others say it is a key to a machine of destruction created by his ruthless father. Either way, if a gang has it, they control all the others."
"So it was in a shop all this time? They only just now stole it?"
"That shop had the bunny in high security. They knew what it was."
"Agent P!"
Perry looked down. Monogram was on his wrist communicator.
"Sorry to bother you. Hope you're not in the middle of anything too important, but it's Doofenshmirtz. Our sensors indicate that he's up to something. Get to the bottom of it."
The communicator clicked off.
"I need to get to the agency." Perry said. "Do you know where it is?"
"By any chance that buildin' with the O.W.C.A sign?"
"Yeah."
"On the way. Good."
"Get yourself to a hospital or something."
"I will."
...
"BEHOLD, THE…"
Perry looked up at Doofenshmirtz's latest inator. It was large, purple and had a huge antenna on the top.
Doofenshmirtz hadn't actually said anything after "behold, the". He was staring at the inator, looking confused.
"Well, actually, I'm not entirely sure what it is. I bought it at a thrift store for thirty dollars. What a steal! Maybe I'll call it the Whatastealinator. Let's see… there should be a switch here…"
Doofenshmirtz tried flipping on a switch. The Whatastealinator didn't do anything.
"Huh. What a rip-off." Doofenshmirtz grumbled. "Guess if you want something done right, you gotta build it yourself. Sorry to drag you all the way out here, Perry the platypus."
Perry tipped his fedora and tried to climb out of the giant hole trap.
"Oh, sorry." Doofenshmirtz tossed a rope ladder down to him. "Same time tomorrow, then? But like in the morning?"
...
Perry walked home from Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. The night air was cold.
Suddenly the streetlamps began to go out. Perry was confused. The streetlights only turned off in the morning.
It was pitch dark in under a second. Perry pulled out his phone and used the light to guide himself.
Through the phone light, he saw Phineas standing on the front porch of the house, trying to ring the doorbell.
"Boys?"
"Hey, Perry!" Phineas said. "The streetlights went out, and so did all the houselights. Weird, right? Like in the Harvey Porter movie. Now we're trying to actually get in the house. MOOMMMM! OPEN THE DOOR! IT'S FREEZING!"
Ferb began to kick the door with his foot.
"MOM!" Phineas yelled, his voice strangely lonely in the dark.
"Something's wrong." Perry said.
The boys turned to him.
"What?" Phineas asked.
"All this. I don't understand it. But something's wrong."
"I'm going in through the pet door." Ferb announced.
"Don't. I don't feel good about this. Something is very wrong."
Perry walked up to the front door and peered through the window on it. Nothing but darkness revealed itself.
"Why weren't you two at home?"
"We were chasing after our latest invention. It was a giant bicycle, and it became self-aware." Phineas said. "I'm assuming everyone else went home."
"Come on." Perry said.
They went into the backyard. Perry opened up the tree tunnel and pushed them inside.
"Guess we're lucky you guys are still small." Perry said.
They rode down into his lair. The lair was also completely dark.
"I'm scared, Perry." Phineas said shakily.
Ferb put a hand on his brother's shoulder.
"You'll be all right. Can you guys do exactly as I tell you?"
Phineas and Ferb nodded.
"All right. I'm going to have to go to a pretty dangerous area, and I don't feel good about leaving you alone. So I'm going to take you with me." He handed the boys each a small device. "These are stunners. If anyone comes near you, you can zap them, and they won't be able to move for half an hour. Get in the hovercar."
Perry was relieved to find the hovercar still worked. The headlights lit things up much better than his phone had.
"All right. We're off." Perry flew out of the entrance.
"This would be fun if everything wasn't so dark." Phineas said nervously.
"Where is everyone?" Ferb asked. "All I see are buildings."
"There's a person down there." Phineas said. "Only one, though. He looks sleepy. He's lying down."
"Maybe he's hurt." Perry flew lower. "I'll be careful, though."
Perry hovered a couple of feet over the person. The man was bruised and beaten up. His arm looked terribly damaged.
Doofenshmirtz looked weakly up at Perry. Perry nearly lost control of the hovercar in shock.
"I don't know what happened, Perry the platypus." Doofenshmirtz whimpered. "I swear I don't know."