The Chunin Exams
Author's Note:
Man this was a big chapter!
Biggest one I ever wrote at a
grand total of thirteen pages!
Baki was busy going over his student's reports and records, tallying up how many missions they had racked up in the last four months, mostly D-Ranks but there were a few courier missions made to allying villages and two escorts. Hmm. They had met the bare minimum for entering the Chunin exams which were taking place in Hidden Mist for the first time, after much deliberating, he finally made his decision and went to get his students.
"Listen up you three I have an important announcement to make."
They all looked at him when he spoke.
"I've registered you for the Chunin exams this year. It will be held in Kirigakure and it's the first time we've been allowed to participate there in twenty years so I need you all to be on your best behavior!"
Baki was a realist, which meant that he wasn't going to hold his breath when it came to the girls' behavior. Though he shuddered to think about Mist's reaction to his team. Mist nin weren't known for having a good sense of humor. That was more of a Leaf thing.
"Cool!" Squealed Usagi. "I'm gonna get a chance to kick some Mist nins' asses!"
"Usagi what have I told you about using that kind of language?" Baki reprimanded.
"Geez you sound like my mom Baki-sensei." She grumbled.
Baki rolled his eyes, he'd been doing that a lot lately.
"We leave tomorrow with the other twelve teams so I recommend you all start packing tonight. Here's a list of what you need, here are your passports into Mist. Don't lose them. I can't replace them. "
A week's hard traveling found them at Kirigakure's gates. The day was predictably gray and the sun shone through the morning mist weakly. After showing their passes to the dour looking guards no sooner had they walked on through when Temari found herself being hailed by a very familiar voice.
"Hello Temari!" Temari who was Suna's diplomatic representative whirled around, almost to get bowled over by Konoha's Second Green Beast.
"Hello Lee." She said. "What are you doing here?"
"I see that my beautiful wife has been far too busy at the hospital to tell you the wonderful news!" Lee shouted. "I have followed in Gai-sensei's footsteps and become a sensei myself!"
Temari smiled, that would be an amusing sight…or a disturbing one depending on your point of view.
"Congratulations. Who's on your team?"
With great flourish, Lee stepped aside to reveal his Genin team. "I would like to present my youthful team Zetsumyou Lee, Jiraiya Uzumaki and Tadashi Nara"
Baki's Genin stepped forward to take a better look. They knew Jiraiya, but not his teammates.
Zetsumyou Lee had Sakura's green eyes and heart-shaped face, her hair was a thick, glossy, black pulled back into a French braid. She wore a gray tank top and snow camouflage pants. She loved Taijutsu as much as her father and was hoping to learn how to wield her mother's insane strength. She was boisterous and cheerful. She too stared curiously at the three Sand Genin she'd heard so much about.
Jiraiya Uzumaki was the Hokage's son, though he had a half-brother from his mother's last marriage. His mother Hoshi had barely survived giving birth to him and couldn't have any more kids as a result. Like Tsuru, he was part demon. He had dark auburn hair and bright blue eyes, he wore red shorts and a red t-shirt. He was good friends with Tsuru and they often teamed up for pranks whenever his father brought him to Suna. He was energetic, hot-tempered and fun-loving. He also seemed to have a thing for hot-tempered girls because he'd had a huge crush on Usagi ever since they first met.
Tadashi Nara had dark blue eyes and his dark brown hair was pulled up in the traditional Nara clan style. He also wore the traditional Nara clan outfit. He was laid back and intelligent but he was also a little on the insecure side, he quietly fretted about his own abilities and often over thought things which in his case was to his detriment.
"Hey Usagi! Howsabout a kiss?" Said Jiraiya who puckered up, causing Usagi to turn bright red.
"Jiraiya Uzumaki!" She growled raising her fist. "You'd better put those lips back where they belong before I rip 'em off your face!"
Jiraiya scowled in a very Naruto-esque fashion.
Temari smirked, Lee was certainly going to have his hands full with these three.
"I am so pleased to have such a spirited team!" Lee was saying.
Temari took a cursory glance at the Nara boy and rolled her eyes.
Lee looked at Baki's trio. He remembered the Kazekage's daughter of course, but he'd yet to meet the Kami twins.
"Excuse me Lee but I have business to take care of." Said Temari. Being Sand's diplomat, she would immediately have to unpack, change and meet up with the new Mizukage.
Jashin instantly took a step back when the very strange man bent down to take a good look at him.
"And who are your teammates Tsuru-chan?" He asked.
Tsuru took charge. "This is my cousin Jashin. He's kinda shy."
Lee looked over at the white-haired girl who was busy arguing vehemently with Jiraiya.
"That's my other cousin Usagi." She said with a grin.
"Hey Lee!" Called another cheerful voice.
Lee turned to look at his teammate Tenten, who was bringing her first Genin team over. On Tenten's team was Goma Akimichi. Chouji's oldest. The blonde-haired, brown-eyed boy was busy munching on a bag of potato chips and donned traditional Akimichi garb, his eyes took in the Sand team with interest. He was an observant boy who had inherited his mother's need to organize things, from ingredients to clothes to weapons, which bordered on OCD and drove his two teammates crazy.
Then there was Akatsume Inuzuka and his dog Imoto. Akatsume had unruly red hair and like his other two siblings possessed the Byakugan. He was Kiba and Hinata's second oldest. His dog Imoto resembled an English Setter, but she had a thicker coat and sturdier legs. Akatsume was arrogant, selfish and stand-offish. He was constantly complaining that his teammates got in the way and Tenten was trying hard to drum the concept of teamwork into his head. Something the frustrated kunoichi would have thought he'd learned just by being an Inuzuka and she couldn't help but wonder if his Hyuuga heritage took over more then he cared to admit.
Than there was Kaede Koichi. Genma Shiranui had had a relationship with a rich civilian woman whose family did most of Fire Country's landscaping. There had been a falling out between Suiren Koichi and Genma before she found out she was pregnant and he went on a mission, only to be presumed KIA a month later. Kaede had Genma's caramel colored hair and big light brown eyes, she wore a knee-length brown skirt and tank top, she was observant and intelligent and Tenten thought she might make a good spy. Her weapons of choice were two short, scythe-like blades on small handles which could be used to decapitate, slit throats or gut people, she was a joy to teach and even though Tenten would never admit it, Kaede was her favorite.
"Ah! Tenten-chan you made it!" Said Lee, enveloping her in an enthusiastic hug.
He cast an appraising eye over her Genin team and greeted each of them by name and introduced them to Baki's team. Just then Lee noticed someone.
"Kakashi-san wait! I have Gai-sensei's birthday present for you!" Lee called out as Kakashi and his team strolled over.
They were thirteen. Asami Lee was Sakura and Lee's oldest daughter, she had fuchsia hair down to the middle of her back and green eyes. She wore a black spaghetti strap and medic skirt. She wanted to become a medic nin and she seemed to have a talent for it as she had always been more into medical jutsu then fighting, she'd failed the Chunin Exams once already so Kakashi had had to force her to work on Taijutsu skills.
Kakashi's second girl was Harusame Inuzuka. Akatsume's older sister. Harusame had chin length chestnut brown hair and the traditional Inuzuka tattoos. She was a serious-minded girl and a vicious fighter, prone to long grudges. Along with her was her red-furred, wolf hybrid Sabiru. She wore a sleeveless tan shirt and tan pants. She and her brothers were being taught both the Hyuuga and Inuzuka clan fighting styles. She greeted Akatsume who ignored her and scratched Imoto under the chin affectionately.
The last member of Kakashi's team was Yasumichi Yuuhi, he had short black hair and the red eyes of the Yuuhi clan. The boy wore a black muscle shirt and loose, wrapped black pants. He was laid back and lazy and very intelligent.
"How thoughtful of Gai." Said Kakashi, taking the brown package from Lee as visions of green spandex danced in his head.
Gai had been trying to convince him to wear them for years. He was more then pleasantly surprised to find several of the latest Icha Icha movie. His hands shook as he stared at the video and a bright blush spread across the visible parts of his face and began giggling hysterically. His team groaned in embarrassment.
Lee couldn't have looked more thrilled.
"Wonderful! I cannot wait to tell Gai-sensei how much you loved his gift! He will be most pleased to know that his gift filled you with so much youthfulness."
Usagi and Tsuru couldn't suppress a snicker at the strange exclamation, or when they noticed Baki sensei discreetly trying to sneak a peek at the movie cover.
Baki scowled and looked away.
"C'mon you three, we have to go get our hotel room."
Tsuru and Usagi burst into laughter as Baki blushed fiercely and stalked off.
After they'd gotten settled in, they immediately went to take the first test, the results showed up the next hour and Baki scanned the list anxiously, then shook his head in bemusement. He wasn't quite sure whether he should be glad or disappointed that his team had come in second-to-last on their test scores.
The next day…
"Hey Usagi-chan! See that cute guy over there?"
"What cute guy?" Usagi asked.
"That one there."
"That's your idea of cute? But he's so puny."
"So? He's still pretty cute."
"I guess. What about him?"
"Let's go play a little prank."
"Sounds good!"
Tsuru began whispering in her ear and Usagi snickered.
Jashin frowned. What were they up too this time?
Usagi sauntered over and gave the boy a winsome smile.
The Mist nin blushed a little and smiled back.
"Hi." She said.
"Umm…hi."
"So you taking the Chunin exams right?"
"Yeah."
Usagi got the boy, whose name was Sazanami Minamoto, talking for a bit, well, she did most of the talking anyways, when suddenly there was a loud rustling in the bushes.
"What was that?" Sazanami asked, looking a little alarmed.
Usagi feigned confusion and nearby, Jashin rolled his eyes.
"I dunno. Let's check it out."
So the two Genin followed the rustling sounds and noises for a ways when Sazanami was joined by a taller, muscular thirteen-year old wielding a zanbatto.
"Sazanami what are you doing?" Kotora Momochi asked his teammate.
Usagi batted her eyelashes on him and wondered if she could find a way to discreetly get Tsuru to cancel this little prank of theirs.
Sazanami turned red and looked down.
"We were following a weird sound in the bushes Kotora."
"You were following a weird sound in the bushes?" He asked caustically.
"Move over! Lemme see!"
He walked over ripped off a bush and both he and Sazanami leapt back with a surprised yelp as a little tanuki wearing ninja garb and wielding a miniature katana galloped from the bushes on a tiny horse, soared into the air and disappeared into cloud drift.
"What the-" Kotora muttered.
Tsuru burst into laughter from the trees.
Usagi mentally groaned, but instead put on an apologetic face for Kotora.
"Please excuse my teammate she's a leetle disturbed heh heh heh."
"Whaaa?"
Tsuru asked as Usagi dragged her away.
Baki was out looking for the three of them when he felt someone watching him. He narrowed his eyes and walked out a little further senses on high alert when someone came out of the shadows.
"It's been a long time Baki sempai." The man growled.
"Maro." Baki said. "What are you doing here?"
Maro Tottori had been a fiercely loyal Sand ninja who had been falsely accused of a crime he hadn't committed and spend thirteen years in prison for it, when new evidence was brought to light he had been released and pardoned but had left the prison very bitter and became a nukenin.
"I'm here to take revenge on Sunagakure."
Maro Tottori charged and Baki tensed for attack.
Temari was summoned to the hospital and Baki was sitting up in his bed with an unhappy scowl on his face.
"What happened Baki?"
"Maro Tottori attacked me, he was trying to get revenge on the Kazekage for his imprisonment. I killed him, but the doctor has bad news."
"What bad news?" She asked.
He sighed. "He messed up my spine pretty bad, one wrong jar or wrench and I could be paralyzed."
Temari shook her head. She knew that shinobi could sustain serious injuries that put them out of commission permanently, it was a risk they all took. But it bothered her to see her sensei, who had always been a strong dependable presence in her life being forcibly retired.
Kakuzu was eating his meager meal quietly when he heard giggles. He glanced over at the entrance to see two Genin walking in the doorway. The first girl had black hair and pale green eyes, she had a round face and a slender, delicate build. She wore a green shirt and khaki pants. She looked familiar and Kakuzu was struggling to place her. She also had a very large, strange chakra signature; something not quite human. There was a base undertone to it that reminded him vaguely of Kisame and Zetsu, but she didn't feel dangerous. He filed it away for later, eyes flitting to the girl's weapon which gave away her identity. She was the Kazekage's daughter. There was a tanuki's mask painted quite elegantly on the gourd. The straps that held the gourd in place were made of smooth, brown leather and there was a strip of white cloth on her left shoulder.
He turned to observe the other girl and stiffened with shock! It was Hidan's daughter! Silvery-gray hair pulled into waist-long pigtails, she had purple eyes, a heart-shaped face, a pointed chin and Hidan's signature sneer, though there was none of his former partner's insanity shining in her eyes. She wore a pale pink skirt and tucked in white shirt. His eyes traveled to the girls' weapon. The girl kept a smaller, modified, single-bladed version of Hidan's scythe strapped to her back, the handle was black leather, the blade was a deep blood-red, edged with silver.
Hmm where was the boy? Kakuzu knew that his ex-partner had an older son. The news of the battle between Jashin and Seishin had been spread all over the world and the twin vessels had been granted souls of their own. But Hidan's boy was nowhere in sight.
The Kazekage's daughter giggled. "Did you see the look on that Mist kid's face Usagi-chan? You gotta admit that was sheer genius!"
Usagi rolled her eyes.
"How come I got stuck with such a squirrelly cousin?"
It appeared that she also inherited her father's love of dramatics. Kakuzu noticed wryly.
Tsuru smirked affectionately and put an arm around her cousin's shoulder.
"Because if it wasn't for me your life would be boring." She said cheerfully and for that Usagi had no comeback.
Tsuru turned around and called out, "Hey Jashin!"
"Hey." He mumbled.
Kakuzu turned to eye the newcomer and grinned beneath his mask, here was the boy. The boy's sleek hair was a platinum blonde. He was stocky and short and his outfit consisted of a standard desert camouflage uniform, mesh top and ninja sandals. He was unnoticeable, except for his eyes which were the same unusual shade of purple. Unlike the girls he didn't carry visible weapons other then his kunai holster and shuriken pouch and he seemed quiet and shy. A far cry from Hidan's loud mouth and flamboyant ways.
.
"So." Tsuru said with a grin, "You finally decided to emerge from your hidey-hole huh?"
Jashin ignored the jibe and asked, "What are you two morons doing?"
Tsuru began to blow on the steaming hot rice. "What? We're eating! We're allowed to be here."
Jashin shook his head.
"Snake Monkey Bird! Behold! Tattle-tale jutsu!" She quipped, making mock hand signs.
Can it tanuki brat!" Said Jashin irritably.
"So…" thought Kakuzu, "…the rumors are true."
"Hey! Don't call her tanuki brat or I'll pummel you!" Usagi growled threateningly, brandishing her fists.
The black-haired girl asked. "So how come you're here?"
This was said with a forced casualness and Kakuzu was under the impression that she was attempting to defuse a potentially nasty situation.
"I just wanted to know what you two were up too." He said, "Baki sensei heard about your little stunt."
"Big brother! I'm warning you!" Usagi growled
"Oh yeah that was awesome!" Tsuru said with a grin.
"I thought Baki sensei warned you not to draw unnecessary attention to yourself Tsuru." Jashin grumbled.
"So that's her name." Kakuzu noted, idly wondering how much the "tanuki brat" would be worth for ransom.
"Jashin, I carry a monster-sized gourd on my back. I'm gonna get noticed anyways." Tsuru pointed out.
Jashin sat down and ordered a meal. "You're such an idiot."
Kakuzu tensed when Usagi jumped up and screamed. "Jashin! I'm gonna kick your ass!"
The lone waiter ducked behind the counter, for he had learned quickly that shinobi children were dangerous
She flung a kunai at him, but he dodged it, then she leapt up on the table and the two of them began to zoom around the small restaurant. Bouncing here bouncing there and then she caught him and began wailing on him furiously with her fists.
Kakuzu had had enough of the brats antics. His arms shot out and he grabbed the trio.
"These your kids mister?" The waiter asked, attempting to regain some of his dignity.
"Nope." Was all Kakuzu said before carrying them out of the restroom.
Kakuzu took a moment to concentrate on Temari's chakra signature, he'd seen her when he was walking into town. Once he locked onto it, her signature led him to the motel she was staying at. He knocked on the door.
Temari opened it, looking tense and leery.
"I believe these-" he said dropping all three kids unceremoniously on the floor,
"-are yours."
Temari gaped at him in shock. "K-Kakuzu?" She asked in a hushed whisper.
"Humph!" Was all that the missing Taki nin would say.
She rounded on the trio. "Go to bed now! There's something we have to discuss later. Do not-I repeat do not go back out again!" Her voice was harsh and commanding.
There should by rights be no arguing with that tone of voice, Kakuzu knew but that didn't stop the three Genin from arguing anyways. Temari sighed.
"Thanks for bringing them back." She said briskly and wondered why he was still hanging around. She sincerely doubted that her husband's former partner was the nostalgic type.
"You're still with Hidan. Why?" He asked.
Temari smirked and shook her head. "I have no idea, he kinda grew on me."
Kakuzu snorted, "He grew on you did he? Well so do warts but I don't keep them around!" He said uncharitably.
Then she frowned, "I don't mean to be rude Kakuzu-san but I have urgent business to deal with-"
"Your old sensei." Kakuzu said. If Temari was surprised, she didn't show it.
"Yeah, I have no idea how I'm going to break it to the kids." She said, turning her head away.
Baki had been seriously injured by a missing Sand nin out for revenge who thought to strike out at the Kazekage's family. The only good news was that Baki had killed him, the bad news was he was permanently out of commission.
"I assume they are going to need a sensei." Kakuzu blurted out. Then blinked in surprise.
She looked at him sharply.
"Where are you going with this?" She asked suspiciously, though she already knew Kakuzu would do almost anything for money.
Kakuzu didn't like where his thoughts were going either, though he was deplorably low on money. Work was slow since he'd defected from Akatsuki and if there was one thing in the world that would cause him to sweat, it was lack of cash.
"Water Country demands that the candidates' sensei be present for the Chunin Exams. No exceptions, it's nearly a week's journey from Sand to Mist and the second exam starts in two days. Unless you can find another teacher, your brats are disqualified. And I seriously doubt that you came all the way here just for that. Especially since this is the first time in two decades that Mist has opened its gates to Sand."
Temari sighed. Business…it was always business with the old man.
"What makes you think we don't have someone else with the proper qualifications?" She asked.
"Because you have never had the training to become a qualified Jounin sensei. I used to be one."
Temari jaw dropped! Kakuzu? The impatient, bad-tempered old man who, if the other
Akatsuki were to be believed murdered his junior partners as easily as flies used to be a Jounin sensei?
She growled warningly. "You're too hotheaded Kakuzu and the girls will drive you crazy."
Kakuzu snorted, "Genin are Genin anywhere you go! They're all brats!" He made a gesture, indicating that she elaborate anyways and without thinking Temari walked right into it.
"Tsuru is constantly playing practical jokes on everybody, she played a prank on Baki-san's first day and Usagi tries to act like Hidan which I know you won't be able to handle."
"You owe me." Kakuzu said eloquently.
"I owe you?" Temari was evidently puzzled.
"How do you think you got home?" Kakuzu asked smirking beneath his mask. He had always been good at bargaining.
"That was you?" Temari incredulously.
"Of course! Hidan was too much of an idiot to let you go just like that and the other Akatsuki members didn't give a damn."
What he said made perfect sense and Temari was irritated. "You did it for the hefty reward." She pointed out.
He didn't deny it.
"Yes. But I also knew that Akatsuki was no place to raise a kid. You think Leader would have let them go if he knew what they were harboring?"
Temari looked into his eyes and saw the truth of his words. He was again making perfect sense and she couldn't argue with logic.
"Besides, it'll just be till the exams are over and I do expect to be paid." He said just to make sure she understood that he refused to do this for free. "I won't harm them Temari if that's what your worried about. You'd be my client."
Temari for some reason trusted the old man to keep his word and Temari was a ninja who listened to her instincts and seldom trusted anyone.
Kakuzu wondered what he was doing offering to teach Hidan's brats, but money was money and he'd put up with them for the next five years if he had too, to ensure he got paid well. Kakuzu hadn't been lying, all ninja in his village had been expected to train at least one Genin squad. They weren't allowed to become Jounin otherwise. He began mentally calculating how much his services would be worth.
"I want a normal sensei's salary for everyday I'm with them, plus extra for me offering my services on such short notice."
Temari's eyes narrowed in irritation as she calculated the amount of money it would take. She would be broke for two months at least.
"Fine." she grumbled resentfully. "Good night Kakuzu." She turned towards the door and closed it.
Author's Note:
I know you didn't see that one coming!
What did poor Kakuzu get himself into?
Mwahahahaha!