All my life I had had the desire to visit Africa, and so I was extremely pleased when I found myself there. I had never planned to go there in the form of a lion however, and it wasn't long after I came across this shred of detail that I realised I was in a dream. Either that, I thought, or under the influence of a rather strong hallucinogen. I quickly decided that the former was far more the likely (nowadays), and so decided to have fun while I was still asleep, and enjoy the new experience of being a large cat. As I aloud my lucid dream to continue, I realised that I could hear the sound of church bells chiming over and over, which I thought was rather odd, even for a dream.

'Bells in the savannah?' I thought to myself. 'Bells in the savannah?'

I decided that was quite enough for me, and promptly woke.

Rather puzzled was I then, to still hear the bells even after I'd opened my eyes. I reached for my dressing gown, and after making myself decent I ventured downstairs, following the racket that seemed to be coming from my hallway.

In an instant I knew what it was. It was the sound of the bloody new door bell I had decided to buy. A British Heart foundation product which, being a novelty item, switched its tune every time the bleeding bell was sounded. So far I had had 'We wish you a merry Christmas', a London bus horn, 'Blowin' in the wind' and 'God save the bleeding queen'! And the infernal man or woman at the door just kept ringing it, so the sound of church bells repeatedly echoed through the house.

Through the frosted window my door I saw what looked like giant, and so was a bit wary as I opened it. Seeing the police there was a bit of a shock, and I automatically tried to smooth my hair and clothes down.

'How can I help?' I asked.

'Good evening sir... I mean miss... I mean madam,' and he coughed gruffly. 'I'm Officer Harring and this is Officer Thwates. Can you tell me, does a Vladimir Dracula live here please?' asked the shortest officer.

'No,' I said, groggily rubbing sleep out of my eye and trying to focus on the figures in front of me.

'Oh, I see. This lad here says that he's called Vladimir and that he lives here,' said Thwates in a surprisingly squeaky tone.

I was initially confused, but on closer inspection of the duo I realised they weren't a duo at all. The two pot bellied police had managed to cram a third person on the front step with them.

The boy standing between them looked thin and cold, and had a stature that I partially recognised. I was completely dumb founded as to who he was however, partially because of the fact that I had left my glasses upstairs in the plant pot.

'Hang on a minute,' said the first policeman, Harring. 'Number 19 did you say?' The young boy nodded. 'This is number 17. You idiot, you've got the wrong house!' he said turning to his work mate.

'Huh? But you said...'

'Never mind what I said!' Harring turned back to me. 'So sorry to trouble you, we appear to have the wrong house.'

I raised my eyebrows at him. 'Hum,' I said, in my best irritated tone. 'You officers do know how late at night it is, don't you?'

Harring looked embarrassed. Thwates just look confused.

'Thanks all the same. Good day!' said the Thwates cheerfully.

'Don't you mean good night?' Harring said angrily. 'God, you wouldn't think you had eyes from the stuff what comes out of your mouth. Come on, let's take him next door. Good day sir... I mean Boss... I mean Mrs,' he said turning back to me as I began to close the door.

'Good day? But you just said...' Thwates began to say.

'Never mind what I just said!'

And snap, the door was shut.

Still half asleep, I decided to make myself some hot milk before I went back to bed, and did so, whilst listening to tomorrow's weather on the radio.

I carried my steaming mug up to bed and turned out the light. As I was closing the blind I'd forgotten to close earlier, I saw a black blur speeding down the street, and two fatter blurs chasing after it at a much slower pace. Thinking it was just a rather large cat or something; I closed the blind and climbed into bed.

Back in the dessert and now riding a rather grumpy camel, I was happy once again. It was all extremely pleasant, except for some reason the camel had cat ears, and I was wearing a policeman's hat, which was growing increasingly sweaty. At the back of my mind I remembered that I had forgotten to lock the front door, but of course that didn't matter, because camels didn't have doors.

I forgot how much I loved writing these entries! Please R&R, as it is lovely to hear what you think!