Chapter 4:

So, this is how I ended up in a locked room, wandless, with two armed professors right outside the door, with Sirius Black.

After Lisa told me about the news, my mind went absolutely blank. A thousand emotions whipped through me, but the top ones where betrayal, anger, and fear. Betrayal, because even though I was never friends with Sirius, I had trusted that he wouldn't tell anyone. I never even THOUGHT he would tell anyone. Anger because, not only had he told everyone that my dad was a murder, but also because he lied. You-Know-Who was NOT recruiting me, and now everyone would think I was a death eater. Fear because…. Where would he even get the idea that You-Know-Who was recruiting me?

Anger over took everything. I pushed through people, who were cringing away from me as if I would whip out my wand at any second and kill them. The thought only made me more furious. I made my way to Sirius and without even explaining, starting shooting hex after hex at him. Just seeing him, all casual, not caring that he had completely ruined my life, made me even angrier (if possible).

I wasn't even sure what I was doing; just knowing that each curse physically hurt him satisfied me. He didn't even try to deflect them. Strong arms grabbed me when I lunged to punch him, but my fist still collided with his jaw. I was sobbing uncontrollably, which surprised me since I had never shed a tear in front of anyone. Maybe the alcohol was getting to my head. I looked behind me to see that James was the one who had grabbed me, but professor McGonagall was there and lugged me out of his arms and out of the chaotic dorm room. She practically carried me down a silent corridor. I cried the entire way, not even struggling to break free from her death-grip.

"What happened?" We were in an empty classroom now; that was quiet aside from my chocked crying. McGonagall looked paler than usual, her teeth were clenched together.

"He-he told everyone." She promptly dropped me, and like a chain reaction Dumbledore popped in, shoving Sirius in the room with him. Dumbledore looked merely upset, not even a bit angry. He whispered something to McGonagall, and both of them turned to us. I was busy trying to wipe the tears and snot off my face, well aware that I probably looked awful.

"You two are going to start your counseling right now." I sputtered in reaction to Dumbledore's gravely spoken words.

"What the bloody hell? I do NOT want to talk to him!" I pointed a shaky finger at Sirius, who wouldn't even look at me. Coward. "Did you NOT hear what he did?" I continued.

"Yes, Ms. Mckinnon I did hear what he did. And it was wrong, but he also has a lot of explaining to do." Then both of the teachers slowly backed out of the room, taking both of our wands with them. The second they closed the door I jumped to my feet, ignoring how everything swayed with my every movement. I went all around the room, feeling the walls for any possible hidden doors. There wasn't any, just a whole bunch of dusty unused desks.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked. I spun around and came face to face with him. He had a few cuts, and it looked like he had a bruise on his jaw already. Good. His eyes were sympathetic, but I looked away before I fell under his charm.

"Why?" I snapped. Sirius didn't reply, just lowered his gaze sheepishly. "WHY?" I screamed, making him flinch. I turned away from him and stalked toward the window, trying my best not to start crying again.

"I had no choice." Sirius whispered. I shook my head, snorting. That was a lame-ass excuse and he knew it.

"Tell me. I deserve to know." He didn't answer. Fuming, I stalked to the window and unscrewed the bolts with my fingernails. I pulled the glass up easily. No way in hell was I going to stay in here if he wasn't going to even tell me why he told everyone. The warm fall air spread across my face as I popped open the window, and it was so enhancing that I instantly wanted to just get outside, get away from all of this. I pulled up my leg and put one foot against the windowsill.

"Marlene, what are you doing?" Sirius asked from behind me.

"Getting out." I replied simply.

"Don't, you're going to hurt yourself." I smirked to myself, hoisting the rest of my body up. I crawled out the window, the fresh air rushing all over me. I stood up on the ledge, inching myself to the side of the window. It was no different than standing up on a broomstick, something I do very often in fact. I stared up at the starry sky, just as a large owl swooped through the clouds and away from the castle. I glanced back toward the window, noticing Sirius had poked his shaggy head out of it.

"Get down from there!" He yelled over the high winds. I shook my head, giggling uncontrollably at the thrill.

"Only if you tell me why you did it." My voice became completely serious, and I stared him down. His grey eyes met mine, and he looked away deliberately. I started inching away again, making him look at me again with alarm in his eyes. Then I crouched down, like I was about to jump.

"NO!" He yelped, and I tilted my head at him deviously. He so deserved this.

I leaned forward, and Sirius screamed out again. "Fine, fine I'll tell you! Just, don't." He was shaking his head vigorously. I popped back to my feet very fast, making Sirius clearly wince. I inched back over to the window and climbed back in as swiftly and gracefully as I could manage. Then I leaned against the still open frame, with my arms crossed over my chest.

"I had no choice. Voldemort made me. He told me to send a message to you that he wanted to recruit you. He was threatening to kill Regulas. I couldn't not do what he said." Sirius blurted, his words running together. My breath caught in my throat. I didn't even know Regulas was in that deep… and now Voldemort wanted me? Why me? I knew if I didn't do what he said, he would kill everyone I love, then me. The thought terrified me more than anything ever had before.

"Then why did you tell everyone?" My fury soon returned faster then apparating, when I remembered how everyone knew and probably thought I was a death eater now. I balled my hands into fists, and Sirius sighed and sat down on an old unattained desk.

"I didn't. Someone overheard my conversation and told everyone."

I sat down next to him slowly and put my head in my hands. I knew Sirius wasn't lying either, by the totally sincere look on his face. One thing we didn't have in common was that he was awful at lying, and I was amazing at it. I really wanted to pulverize who ever eavesdropped like that, and had the dignity to tell everyone. But I was exhausted from such a long day, and I already had a lot to worry about besides another detention for harming yet another student. I could sense Sirius next to me on the desk, but he didn't try to comfort me. Some part of me was glad he didn't.

"I'm going to go to bed." I announced, rising to my feet. Sirius followed my actions, and stood in front of me. I tried getting around him, but I was stuck between two rows of desks. I finally just stopped and looked up at him, defeated.

"Wait. Are we….?" He motioned wildly with his hands, unsure of what to say.

"We're even." I supplied for him. He smiled lightly, though his smoky eyes were still troubled. I bit my lip and stared up at him for a moment, unsure of what else to say or do. Then I quickly wrapped my arms around him, in a quick but gentle hug. He hugged me back, and I tried to ignore the butterflies that always appeared in my stomach when I touched him. I pulled away, and with one final look at him, I sprinted out the door.

My first instinct was to go to bed as planned, but my legs carried me else ware. I was absentmindedly wandering down a deserted corridor. There was moonlight streaming in through the glass walls, and even just walking through the beauty made everything feel just a bit better. That's my favorite thing about Hogwarts, just the magical feel to it. Before I knew much about magic, I lived close to Hogwarts. When I would walk by the grand castle, not understanding what it was for, the most peculiar feeling would come through me. And now I understood what the feeling meant, and sometimes it was the only thing that kept me grounded.

I walked by a couple snogging behind a tapestry. Part of me wanted to send a hex at the banner, just to scare them, but I didn't have my wand, and I wasn't in my usual surly, devious mood. I kept walking.

Before I knew it I was standing in front of the hospital wing. Without hesitating I opened the doors and stepped in to the sanitizer-smelling room. I could see sleeping bodies move up and down with every breath; it was so still and silent. I couldn't make out who each person was, though there was a whole bunch of them. I wasn't sure what bed she was in until I noticed the flaming red hair splayed onto the pure white pillow. She stirred as I looked at her, sitting up lithely and briskly. Lily's eyes found mine.

"Marlene." She hissed, in a raspy whisper. "What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

I slowly tip-toed to her bedside, being careful to not wake anyone. Lily's eyes narrowed at me, her mouth in a perfect scowl. I stood over her awkwardly, shifting my weight from foot to foot. There was a tense silence between us.

"I'm sorry okay? I don't even know why I attacked you, I don't even REMEMBER attacking you…. But I know I did. So I'm sorry." I babbled, watching Lily's eyebrows travel further and further up her forehead.

"I'm sorry too." She murmured, looking at me suspiciously and skeptically. She probably just didn't trust me. As much as I hate to admit it, she's a smart bitch. "I shouldn't have…. You know… been such a…" She trailed off, and I knew exactly why. Lily was definitely one of those people who can admit anything, except that they were wrong. I was one of those people too, I hated making apologies. That was the one and probably only thing that Lily and I had in common. I never would have thought I would have come to a point where Lily and I would actually get along, since we had been rivals since the first day here at Hogwarts. We always would try to outdo one another, and we were great adversities. She would win over the teachers; I would win over the guys. She would win over popularity; and I would win over Quidditch. We had always been against each other.

"Truce?" I asked suddenly, knowing why I had attacked her that day. I know that everything happens for a reason, and you shouldn't question it. That was how life was supposed to be, a mystery until you decided where you are going to stand.

"I never thought you would say that. I'll think about it…" Lily said after she composed herself from her former state of absolute shock.

"Lily Evans, you have a sense of humor!" I joked, and she shot me a grin, nodding her head in agreement. The huge weight that was on my shoulders somewhat subsided, making it much easier to breathe.

"So it's final then." She spoke, and I agreed silently before padding back to the doors of the hospital wing. I didn't look back. The doors, however, flew open before I could reach them. Professors rushed in, none of them even looking at me. I backed into the shadows, watching as the four teachers placed a student on the empty hospital beds. Lily was pretending to still be asleep. Professor Slughorn placed someone in the bed closest to me, and while his back was turned I inched forward and peeked at the unconscious face.

I recognized those features. The barely there stubble on his chin, that scar by his ear, the long eyelashes that would have looked ridicules on any guy besides him. But there was blood on Sirius's face, the nasty maroon liquid was caked into his hair and was visible through his ripped shirt. I had just seen him twenty minutes ago, where could he have possibly gone and gotten hurt like this?

The professors talked in low voices to Madam Pomfrey before leaving the hospital wing as rushed as they had come. I stepped into the full moons light, examining the other teenagers they had put down. My heart thudded uncomfortably as my eyes scanned over a bleeding, moaning James. There was Peter besides him, who was awake but hadn't noticed me. He wasn't hurt as nearly bad. And then there was…. Remus?

Remus Lupin, who had never been in a fist fight. Remus Lupin, who never fully agreed to break the rules. Remus Lupin, who knew how to protect himself. And he looked the worse out of all of them. There had been rumors that the Mauderer's had a secret, but right then, I knew the rumors were true.

When I was walking back to the dorm room that night, now I know I had completed something on the long list of my future accomplishments… and added another one to it. Maybe Lily and I would become friends. Even though it was a bizarre idea, it could work. The next thing on my list, the first thing now, was that I was going to finally figure out what the Mauderer's were up to. And I was determined to succeed.

I still had a lot to worry about, besides finding out the secret. I still have to drop out of Hogwarts. It wasn't my cup of tea; I had been actually working hard to study for O.W.L.S and N.E.W.T.S, which was difficult for me since I am generally an absentminded person. I had wanted to an Auror since I found out my father was a Death Eater. My mother (without my father knowing) had been one. I had always wanted to follow in her footsteps. But I will deal. Once that was done with I have to say goodbye to… well everyone since I will probably never see them again. That is no doubt the hardest thing on my list; I hate goodbyes. Then I have to take care of my siblings, which on its own in a great task.

As I reached the Fat Lady, I bit my lip and stopped. Thank Merlin she was asleep. My heavy eyes took in every crevice or crack in the wall, trying to take a mental picture. Every part of me ached, since I knew my moments in Hogwarts were limited. I might never see this place again after I leave. After spending most of my life here, I knew it was going to be hard to say goodbye. But it was even harder to detach.

Hey yall. I know this chapter was heavy, but I promise the next one will be more lighthearted. I have a great plan for this story, so I want all you readers to be prepared, and to not give up on me just yet. Thanks a BUNCH for even reading this, and thanks even more to those who have reviewed. Please leave a review (even if you already have, each one counts!), it will only take a second of your time and make twenty four hours of mine. I LOVE all of you!

~Alaina