1 Chapter 4
It's been three days since we left Seattle. We're stopped in a cabin right now, one of the many safe houses that my sisters and brothers had been busily arranging ever since they started finding each other. They make me feel guilty, since I know that while I was caught up in my own life, angsting about Logan, they were busy arranging ways for us all to escape for good.
Logan comes and sits next to me. He likes to stroke my hair, and we sit in front of the cosy fireplace that seems to be the primary heat source for this cabin. We don't say anything, just sit in companionable silence, leaving each other to our thoughts. We haven't been together since that first night. There just hasn't been time. My sisters leave us alone enough to give us privacy, but I know that this is not the time or place for us. So we content ourselves with the physical contact that was so long denied to us, and we carefully talk about mundane things when we do talk. That one night is enough to sustain me for now.
I don't want to tell the others, but I don't think we can get across the border. Brin has to know that the first places we'll head will be either Mexico or Canada. Of the two, she knows that Canada is closer. I'm just glad we managed to grab Charlie and Chase on our way out of town. They may slow us down, but Manticore almost killed Tinga once by using Chase. Emotions towards him were what made her weak. They knew it.
I'm scared. I don't want to admit it, but I'm terrified of Canada, and that fear is making me weak. All my life, I've been taught and trained by both Lydecker and life that fear will only get me killed. But how do I keep myself from fearing the unknown? Look what happened the last time I took a jump into the unknown. I got my freedom, kept myself from being an unpaid soldier/slave, but also had to fight my ass off just to stay alive. This time, I know I'm not alone. All I have to do is look behind me at Logan, and the love in his eyes.
That makes it even worse. When I could go on not caring, or pretending not to care, I didn't have to worry that I would get someone else killed. But Logan is my family, too. I didn't believe in the fairy tales, the happily ever afters when the Prince bailed out the beggar girl and they fell madly in love. But I guess they do come true. After all, the timing is everything. Maybe we will make it.
A gunshot startles me out of my mental meandering. I have to protect Logan. I shove him into a hidden closet along with Tinga's family, and I go out to join my sisters. Another shot rings out in the woods, and to my amazement, Jondy grabs a flute that is sitting by the door and plays a complicated six-bar set. Just as I'm about to take away the instrument, incredulous that she would compromise our safety, people start melting out of the trees and into view. Apparently, the shot was a signal. My heart leaps as I recognize the people coming towards me. I see Krit, Zane, and Syl. Several younger people with bar codes also materialize, and I realize that there are X6's and 7's. I run to my sister and brothers, and with bone crushing hugs, we reunite. I can see why getting over the border isn't apparently a worry to this intrepid group.
I turn to Tinga and Jondy, and half angrily ask why they hid the norms.
"Were you trying to give me a heart attack? I thought we'd been found!"
"We had to take precautions. After all, it could have been the bad guys."
Zane looked at me speculatively. He had been a bit hesitant at returning my hug, and I thought I knew why.
"Go ahead. Test me. I've been hiding for three days. If I was working for Manticore, don't you think that I would have reported in by now?"
"You were caught. So was Brin. Looking at her, it would be logical to assume you had either ended up like her, or like Ben. Although you did have something to do with both of those, didn't you, sis?"
I flinch as he reminded me of what I had to do to our brother. My mind replays leaving Brin on a bench, and seeing Tinga in that tank. She just barely survived that, Lydecker founder the air pump and got her lungs going again. That reminded me of Zach. I look at Zane, wounded to the core, and I turn back to the house. I'm teetering between outright rage and horrible, bleeding hurt. I don't know if I can take another reminder of my poor big brother, alone at a ranch, with none of his siblings around him.
Jondy comes looking for me, knowing that that I'll be up here, on the roof. Out of all of my siblings, she's always understood me best. We just sit here, in silence, looking at the stars and moon, hearing the crickets chirp, and I wonder if my brilliant big brother is doing the same thing. I haven't checked on him lately. The others "know" he died to save me. They don't know that a tiny part of me died too, when I let him go by without telling him who I was. None of them know that. I shake myself, and head back into the house. Jondy silently follows. It's going to be a long night, and I have to find out why Zane seems to hate me. Precious lives, Logan's life, depends on no friction between us.
End, Chapter 4
It's been three days since we left Seattle. We're stopped in a cabin right now, one of the many safe houses that my sisters and brothers had been busily arranging ever since they started finding each other. They make me feel guilty, since I know that while I was caught up in my own life, angsting about Logan, they were busy arranging ways for us all to escape for good.
Logan comes and sits next to me. He likes to stroke my hair, and we sit in front of the cosy fireplace that seems to be the primary heat source for this cabin. We don't say anything, just sit in companionable silence, leaving each other to our thoughts. We haven't been together since that first night. There just hasn't been time. My sisters leave us alone enough to give us privacy, but I know that this is not the time or place for us. So we content ourselves with the physical contact that was so long denied to us, and we carefully talk about mundane things when we do talk. That one night is enough to sustain me for now.
I don't want to tell the others, but I don't think we can get across the border. Brin has to know that the first places we'll head will be either Mexico or Canada. Of the two, she knows that Canada is closer. I'm just glad we managed to grab Charlie and Chase on our way out of town. They may slow us down, but Manticore almost killed Tinga once by using Chase. Emotions towards him were what made her weak. They knew it.
I'm scared. I don't want to admit it, but I'm terrified of Canada, and that fear is making me weak. All my life, I've been taught and trained by both Lydecker and life that fear will only get me killed. But how do I keep myself from fearing the unknown? Look what happened the last time I took a jump into the unknown. I got my freedom, kept myself from being an unpaid soldier/slave, but also had to fight my ass off just to stay alive. This time, I know I'm not alone. All I have to do is look behind me at Logan, and the love in his eyes.
That makes it even worse. When I could go on not caring, or pretending not to care, I didn't have to worry that I would get someone else killed. But Logan is my family, too. I didn't believe in the fairy tales, the happily ever afters when the Prince bailed out the beggar girl and they fell madly in love. But I guess they do come true. After all, the timing is everything. Maybe we will make it.
A gunshot startles me out of my mental meandering. I have to protect Logan. I shove him into a hidden closet along with Tinga's family, and I go out to join my sisters. Another shot rings out in the woods, and to my amazement, Jondy grabs a flute that is sitting by the door and plays a complicated six-bar set. Just as I'm about to take away the instrument, incredulous that she would compromise our safety, people start melting out of the trees and into view. Apparently, the shot was a signal. My heart leaps as I recognize the people coming towards me. I see Krit, Zane, and Syl. Several younger people with bar codes also materialize, and I realize that there are X6's and 7's. I run to my sister and brothers, and with bone crushing hugs, we reunite. I can see why getting over the border isn't apparently a worry to this intrepid group.
I turn to Tinga and Jondy, and half angrily ask why they hid the norms.
"Were you trying to give me a heart attack? I thought we'd been found!"
"We had to take precautions. After all, it could have been the bad guys."
Zane looked at me speculatively. He had been a bit hesitant at returning my hug, and I thought I knew why.
"Go ahead. Test me. I've been hiding for three days. If I was working for Manticore, don't you think that I would have reported in by now?"
"You were caught. So was Brin. Looking at her, it would be logical to assume you had either ended up like her, or like Ben. Although you did have something to do with both of those, didn't you, sis?"
I flinch as he reminded me of what I had to do to our brother. My mind replays leaving Brin on a bench, and seeing Tinga in that tank. She just barely survived that, Lydecker founder the air pump and got her lungs going again. That reminded me of Zach. I look at Zane, wounded to the core, and I turn back to the house. I'm teetering between outright rage and horrible, bleeding hurt. I don't know if I can take another reminder of my poor big brother, alone at a ranch, with none of his siblings around him.
Jondy comes looking for me, knowing that that I'll be up here, on the roof. Out of all of my siblings, she's always understood me best. We just sit here, in silence, looking at the stars and moon, hearing the crickets chirp, and I wonder if my brilliant big brother is doing the same thing. I haven't checked on him lately. The others "know" he died to save me. They don't know that a tiny part of me died too, when I let him go by without telling him who I was. None of them know that. I shake myself, and head back into the house. Jondy silently follows. It's going to be a long night, and I have to find out why Zane seems to hate me. Precious lives, Logan's life, depends on no friction between us.
End, Chapter 4