Breathless, pt. IV (an interlude)

Author's Rant: Okay, am I the only one who didn't like "Leap of Faith?" I could see where the writer was trying to go with the dual soul-searching by Frank and the Girl Who Talks to God, but I really wasn't down with using the Lord as a cheap plot device. Seriously, if they're gonna go there and have God telling a victim's daughter who killed her mom, shouldn't that be the miracle that Rome is investigating? Maybe this girl is the one who ought to become a saint. Also, was it just me or did Danny, Jackie and Erin all seem out of character? Jackie openly mocking the victim's daughter on the sidewalk to the point of bullying, Danny insulting Erin at the precinct, Erin becoming downright flustered over a pile of prescription medication, of all things - it was just weird, and not having the usual family elements and connections was even stranger. This "whodunit" episode was definitely a cut below what I'm used to seeing from Blue Bloods. And let's not even mention the fact that Jamie was in one scene. ONE SCENE. Are you kidding me?

But sometimes the stuff I hate is the stuff everyone else loves, so I open it up to you. Tell me, Blue Bloods fans - what did you think of the show?

Anyway, as you know by now, whether I loved or hated an episode, my answer is to write, so here we are. :) I've been working diligently on the conclusion of "Breathless," but I still have a ways to go. For now, here is an interlude that will bridge us into the final chapter, to be posted very soon. This isn't my best work (definitely would be better if I had another day or two with it), but I need to feel better about my favorite show tonight, so here it is anyway. I promise to respond to the many lovely reviews and messages I received about "In the Moonlight" very soon; sorry for the delay on that. I hope you enjoy!

Frank could almost convince himself that it had all been a bad dream.

These things, after all, were the stuff of nightmares.

His world had stopped when he first laid eyes on Renzulli, looking somehow small in the harsh glare of blue and red lights, his face colorless. Frank was pretty sure he had stopped breathing then, and he hadn't started again until the hospital's chief of staff had walked into the waiting room, taking him by the hand and smiling. Everything between had been a blur of sound and emotion, allowing him to neither think nor act, and he had stumbled through that time like a man struck blind.

Frank could count on one hand the number of times he'd been paralyzed like that, and they all ended in waiting rooms just like this one, with panic crawling like spiders on his skin.

He remembered calling Danny. He remembered getting out what words he could before finally passing the phone to Garrett, feeling his own throat sealing closed from fear, and imagining what it must have been like to be attacked like that, attacked in the dark, no light and no air and no way out. He had passed the phone to Garrett with shaking hands, and when Garrett had finished the brief conversation ("He's on the way. Think he dropped the phone and ran for the door, boss."), Frank had asked him to call Erin and his father. He couldn't handle another call. He couldn't even manage the words.

Garrett had done it without question.

"Erin? Erin, it's Garrett Moore. Garrett Moore, from your father's office. I'm sorry to wake you... no, he's fine. He asked me to call. Erin, Jamie's been hurt. We're not sure... no, no. But we don't know... he was strangled. Strangled. I don't know... no, we don't know yet. Erin, I'm sending a car, okay? It'll be there in ten minutes. They'll take you straight to Bellevue, all right? We're on the way there now. I don't know. I'm sorry, I don't know. Okay."

"Sir, this is Deputy Commissioner Moore. I'm sorry to wake you... no, it's Jamie, sir. He's been injured... yes, he's with me. I don't think... no sir. We don't know. We're sending a car for you. Yes sir."

Garrett had been the one to get him into the waiting room, and he had sat where Garrett put him, twisting his hands together in his lap. He wasn't cold but he was trembling a little, and he couldn't think but he was praying in words than ran together and spoke not of coherence but of emotion, broad swaths of desperation and pain; trying to put to his God how his heart was being torn into strips of fear. He knew there were other people in the room with him. His chiefs. The hospital liaisons. Nurses and staff. But he saw none of them; no one until the tall, broad-shouldered doctor with a balding head and sea-green scrubs. "Commissioner Reagan?"

He was across the room before Garrett could even get out of his chair. The doctor had gripped his hands firmly, and he smiled. "Your son is going to be fine," he said simply.

They were the most beautiful words in the world.

And, closing his eyes, Frank had breathed.

They hadn't been able to tell him much more, but that didn't matter. Not now. The doctor had ducked out shortly thereafter, promising to return when he knew more. Frank had settled back in the chair again, grounding himself and taking the burden off his watery knees.

Jamie was all right. Jamie was going to be fine. Now, he could become the Commissioner again.

And that had been fine for about five minutes.

His fragile control had cracked a little when Danny came skidding into the room, wearing a look of unfettered panic that had made his own stomach twist. Somehow, Frank had managed to settle him. He wouldn't remember how. Linda had come in shortly thereafter, anchoring her husband with her embrace.

Erin had been the next to arrive.

"Dad?" The voice was a note pitched sharp and high, and he looked up immediately as his daughter rushed into the room, her gaze snapping left to right, frantic. Her hair was still mussed from the pillow, and she wore such a look of panic that he stood quickly to reach for her. She grabbed his outstretched arms. "Dad?"

"He's fine," Frank said simply, and pulled her into his chest. "He's fine." The last was murmured into her hair, and she leaned against him, her own tension and fear bleeding slowly away. Over her head, Frank saw Nicky hesitating in the doorway, and Linda rose from her seat next to Danny to hug the girl. "You both okay?"

Erin rested against him for a moment longer before pulling back, wiping at her face. Nicky caught Frank's eyes, her cheek pressed against Linda's shoulder. "Grandpa," she managed. "What happened?"

"Your Uncle Jamie got into some trouble tonight, but he's okay," Frank replied, making the words gentle. "The doctor should be back in just a few minutes."

Erin turned her head, eyes flicking over Danny. He was still bent forward in his chair, rubbing his forehead. "Danny?"

He waved his hand in acknowledgement. "Fine," he muttered, not looking up.

"Sir," a voice called from the doorway, and he looked up to see one of his officers escorting in his own father. The old man was moving with an urgency that Frank hadn't seen in some time, and Henry's sharp eyes flashed across the crowd gathered in the small room before landing on Frank and Linda, their arms full, and upon Danny, still slumped boneless in the chair. "Francis?"

"He's all right," Frank said again. He relished the words. "He's going to be fine."

"Thank God." Henry leaned against the chair Linda had vacated, his fingers digging into the plush arm. "Thank God."

Frank looked down into his daughter's face. She was drawn and pale, without the easy touches of blush and mascara she normally wore. Her blouse was wrinkled as though she'd snatched it from the floor of her bedroom, and Nicky was similarly dressed in mismatched sweats with a coat thrown over top. "Erin?"

She ran a hand, hard, under her nose. "Tell me what happened."

He hesitated.

Danny spoke. His voice was grating and harsh. "He was strangled."

"What?" She stared at him; stared up at Frank. "He was what?"

"Commissioner Reagan." This voice was new, deep, and carried with it an air of authority that caught even Danny's eyes. Danny looked over blearily and snapped upright when he saw the tall, broad-shouldered doctor standing just inside the threshold of the room.

Frank stood, and the family drew in around him - Erin at his side, Linda with Nicky pulled close, Henry still leaning heavily against the chair, and Danny slowly getting to his feet, his attention riveted. The rest of the room; the rest of the world, even, fell away.

The doctor took a step closer. "Your son is going to be fine," he said simply.

Linda's eyes closed, and a prayer fell from her lips.

Henry dropped his head, still struggling to compose himself.

Danny stared the doctor in the eye. "Tell me what happened."

"Officer Reagan - Jamie - was brought in with a ligature strangulation injury to the throat," the doctor said, meeting Danny's razor gaze with a steady compassion. "He was dealing with some pretty intense swelling by the time he arrived here, which was compromising his airway. He couldn't breathe," the doctor added. "But we've been able to get that under control without intubation, and we're running some tests now to make sure there's no further damage to his throat or spinal cord."

"Strangled," Erin repeated, the word sounding ugly and unfamiliar from her lips.

"How did this happen?" Linda asked. "I thought - Jackie said-"

Frank put his free arm around her shoulders, squeezing in a silent promise to explain later.

"Any lasting damage?" Henry asked, clearing his throat as he spoke.

"We'll know more when the tests come back, but right now everything's looking good. Preliminary X-rays showed no damage to the cervical vertebrae, and once we stabilized his oxygen levels he was able to communicate with us. He passed all the cognitive tests, so however long he was without oxygen, it wasn't long enough to cause real damage."

"He's conscious now?" Frank asked. "I don't know if he was aware of me before."

Danny's gaze snapped to his father. "You saw him already?"

"He is conscious now," the doctor confirmed. "And as soon as we finish the tests, you'll be able to see him. I'm guessing we'll keep him here for twenty-four hours under observation, provided the tests come back clear. I'll let you know as soon as that's complete, but it shouldn't be long."

Frank nodded, then reached out to shake the doctor's hand. "Thank you, sir."

"Of course," he replied, nodding to the rest of the family before stepping out.

Danny rounded on Frank. "When did you see him?"

Frank eased himself into the chair Danny had abandoned, taking one slow, deep breath at a time. "I was on scene."

"On scene?" And now it was Danny's turn to hit his knees, dropping to eye level with his father. "What do you mean, on scene?"

"I was in the neighborhood for a Christmas party. Got the call, we went." He rubbed his eyes. "I didn't know it was Jamie until I got there."

Silence.

Danny was the one to break it, on a single, choked word. "God."

Frank closed his eyes.

God, indeed. Thank God. Thank God, this one hadn't ended like the rest.

This time, his son would be all right.

Coming soon, the conclusion...!