Slowly Spencer turned so he was once more facing Morgan. Seeing his expression it took all Morgan's self control not to reach out and hug him; he could tell it was one of those moments when he was just going to have to let the kid take his time. Behind the despair there was a stubborn, almost defiant look in Spencer's eyes and Morgan began to feel anxious. He just hoped to God it was nothing to do with the Dilaudid. He didn't know if he would be able to handle himself if it was.

Spencer saw the look of panic in Morgan's eyes and nearly laughed despite himself. Morgan was so painfully easy to read sometimes. "It's nothing to do with my addiction." 'Well not the addiction you're thinking of anyway,' he thought, as Morgan gave a visible sigh of relief.

"I'm very glad to hear that pretty boy, you had me worried for a second."

Spencer moved away from him and went to sit back down on the couch. Morgan leaned against the kitchen counter with folded arms and watched him. Spencer took a deep breath.

"Believe me Morgan, this will be one of those situations where you look back and wished you'd never asked."

"You know what I think?" It was a rhetorical question and Spencer made no move to answer it. "I think you should stop worrying so much about my feelings and just start talking." Morgan moved a little further into the room. "If I overstepped the line today you just need to tell me." Spencer could feel his heart beating so loud and fast in his chest that he was surprised he wasn't having some sort of aneurysm.

"I've got feelings for someone but they don't know and I can't tell them because then they'll hate me and it will ruin our friendship, and I'm kind of dating this girl who's really nice but I don't feel about her as strongly as I do about this other person, so I feel like I shouldn't see her any more even though I do like her and I know nothing will ever happen with this other person because they definitely don't feel the same way about me, but as hard as I try I can't stop feeling this way about them even though it's completely illogical, and yeah you guys teasing me isn't exactly helping with either situation…" Spencer became pretty incoherent as he became more upset and Morgan held up his hands.

"Woah, woah, back up a second kid, you're losing me."

Spencer looked at him, his cheeks slightly flushed by the sudden rush of emotion. "I thought you wanted me to talk."

"Yeah but I wasn't expecting quite so much information all at once," Morgan replied, moving forward and sitting next to him on the couch. "You're the one with the eidetic memory remember not me."

"Sorry. I got a bit carried away."

There was a silence, then Morgan said. "This…'person' that you like. It's Penelope isn't it?"

Spencer nearly choked. "What?"

Morgan was eyeing him understandingly. "I've noticed that you've been spending quite a lot of time in her office, a lot more than you usually do."

"Mor -"

"And you've looked quite upset a couple of times when you've come out of there; it all makes sense now."

"Really, that's not -"

Morgan patted his shoulder. "I know it must be really hard on you kid, but she's very happy with Kevin. You know that -"

"MORGAN!" They both jumped at the loudness of Spencer's voice interrupting. He looked at his friend apologetically.

"This has nothing to do with Garcia."

"Oh." Morgan looked slightly abashed then his eyes widened. "JJ! Of course."

"It's none of the girls at the BAU OK!" Spencer said exasperatedly.

Morgan furrowed his brow and sat back. "Sorry. I give up, who is it then?"

Spencer felt like there was a huge lump of iron in his chest which was making it hard for him to breathe properly. He closed his eyes. There was a brief pause, then he heard himself say softly,

"It's you Derek. It's always been you."

Silence. There was no movement from the other body on the couch. Eventually Spencer braved a glance in Morgan's direction. His co-worker's face was a blank mask, it seemed almost as if he had frozen.

"D-Derek?" Spencer whispered. This was not one of the reactions he had been expecting. Anger yes, horror perhaps, he had even prepared himself for laughter. But not this, this stony-faced calm. It was like Morgan hadn't even heard him. The silence grew longer and longer and Spencer could feel himself starting to sweat. Then abruptly, Morgan stood up. Spencer rose too, troubled and unsure.

"I've gotta go." Morgan strode over and picked up his jacket from the kitchen counter. His voice betrayed absolutely no emotion, but the tension in his back and shoulders told another story. Spencer hurried after him as he yanked open the front door.

"Der-Morgan! Please can we just…"

His only reply was the door slamming shut, inches from his face. He stood there, unable to move, as frozen as Morgan had been only moments earlier. Finally, realizing that Morgan wasn't coming back he managed to move slowly towards his bedroom. It was blissfully dark and cool and he lay down on his bed, screwing his eyes shut against the images that refused to be suppressed. Not for the first time he cursed his eidetic memory - it really was just as much of a curse as it was a blessing sometimes. The familiar ache around his temples started to pound and he groaned into the bedspread.

'Not now,' he thought, pulling the pillow over his face. He'd just managed to get himself about as comfortable as could be expected when the shrill ring of his phone broke the silence.

"For the love of-" Spencer reached into his pocket and pulled out the offending item. "What?" he said angrily into the speaker.

"S-Spencer?" It was a girl's voice. "It's Angela, is everything OK?"

Spencer sat bolt upright rubbing his eyes. "A-Angela. Sorry about that, you caught me at a bad moment." He raked a hand through his unruly hair. "W-what's up?"

"I was just a bit worried about you…you were meant to meet me at the café half an hour ago."

SHIT.

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" Spencer felt even worse than he already did. "It's not been a good day. Are you still there? I can come now."

There was a pause. "Actually I'm outside your flat."

"Sorry?"

"I'm outside your flat. Can I come up?"

Spencer felt the nervous sweating begin again. Angela was definitely not the person he wanted to see him in this state. And he still felt like crap.

"Um…now's really not the best time. I'm feeling pretty ill, I, um, don't want you to catch something."

Angela giggled. "That's sweet but I'm sure it can't be that bad."

"Well actually…"

"Please Spencer."

Spencer swallowed. He'd just stood the poor girl up, and even in his limited experience he knew that was a bad move. He couldn't really afford any more black marks. "OK, I'll buzz you in," he said, trying to sound enthusiastic. He dumped his phone and quickly went out into the living room. Apart from a few abandoned mugs, which he quickly collected up and put into the sink, the flat was pretty tidy. He went over to the door and pressed the buzzer. Catching sight of himself in the mirror he groaned. He looked almost as bad as he felt.

There was a light knock on the door. He pulled it open to reveal a rather windswept Angela. She smiled at him and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as she entered the apartment. Spencer blushed as he shut the door behind her. Angela was already busy examining his apartment.

"I love how many books you have!" She exclaimed, running her finger along one shelf. "Doesn't look like you have many which aren't technical books though."

"Not much in English," Spencer replied uncomfortably, putting his hands in his pockets. Angela checked herself and came back over towards him. "Sorry, I'm really nosy about other people's houses."

Spencer managed a small smile. "It's fine."

Angela was examining him more closely. "You really don't look well. Have you got any sleep over the last few days?"

"Not really."

"Oh Spencer." Angela took a step closer to him and put her soft hand against his cheek. She looked at him tenderly.

"I'm really sorry I stood you up. You don't deserve that kind of treatment. I've just…had a lot going on." Spencer could feel Angela's fingertips brushing lightly down his cheekbone and he stepped closer to her. She pulled his face towards her and their lips met in a soft kiss. Spencer closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. Suddenly it was Morgan's face he was holding between his hands and the lips pressed against his were firmer, less feminine. He gasped and stepped back.

"I'm s-sorry, I can't do this."

Angela was looking confused, and a little annoyed. "Spencer is something wrong?"

"We…we need to talk." Spencer avoided her eyes as he went and sat on the couch. Angela followed him and sat down exactly in the seat Morgan had vacated a little while before. This unnerved Spencer even more. He stared down at the floor. "I-I haven't been entirely honest with you. About…this," he said, making a vague gesture from Angela to himself. "There's something I should've told you."

"You aren't married are you?"

Spencer balked. "Absolutely not."

"Girlfriend?"

"No."

"Well it can't be that bad then."

Spencer rubbed his forehead anxiously. There really was no easy way to say what he had to say. "It's not that I don't like you, I do, I really do. I just…kind of…have feelings for someone else as well."

"I see." Pause. "And you like them more than you like me."

Hurriedly Spencer replied, "I've known them a lot longer than I've known you. That's all."

Very calmly and matter-of-factly Angela sat forward and looked at Spencer's lowered head. You make sure you call me once you've sorted out whatever it is you've got going on up there," she murmured, tapping him gently on his forehead. As she got up she a pressed a kiss lightly against his soft curls.

Spencer heard the door of his apartment closing, and then there was silence once again. He was relieved at how well Angela had taken his words. The thought of a full-on confrontation after his confession to Morgan had filled him with dread. He knew he'd probably hurt Angela but she deserved someone who was going to give her the full attention she deserved.

'Not someone who thinks about someone else when he's kissing her,' Spencer thought, cringing slightly at the memory. His feeling of relief faded when he remembered Morgan's face as he'd left the apartment. What the hell had he been thinking, just telling him like that? What must have gone through Morgan's head when he'd heard Spencer's confession? And how was he ever meant to look Morgan in the face again?

Spencer screwed up is face in anguish, his brilliant mind failing to supply the answers it usually gave so readily. Grabbing his phone once again, he dialled Garcia's number with shaking fingers. If there was one person who could fix this horrific mess he'd made, it was her.

"C'mon Garcia, pick up, please pick up," he muttered, as the dial tone began ringing. "I've never needed your wisdom more than I do now."

There was a click. "Well helloooo there!" Garcia's booming enthusiasm filled Spencer's ear. "What can I do for you today my little cupcake?"

"I think I did something pretty stupid." He heard Garcia's deep sigh.

"You'd better tell mama all about it."