In Zara's office I got a shock.
"I'm going where?"
"Brecon Beacons. Apparently the SAS soldiers were looking for future recruits. They want you to spend some time, along with a few others they picked out."
"Who else is going?"
"Just a few people from different schools around the country. It's only one from each place"
"Which schools?" Please don't let it be mine, Please don't let it be mine
"Um... Park Academy from Manchester, Brookland School in London" Damn. But it was only one, so that wasn't as bad. "King Edward School, London again and Smithdon High School in Norwich. This is a trial run, which is why there's only 4 other schools."
"When do I go?"
"In a month. You'll be going from Henderson's Academy, a specialist language and sports school. In the meantime, I have your timetable for your lessons." I took it out of her hands.
"I get to teach?"
"Everyone has to. We choose your best subject, but it was a close call between that and martial arts, but you seem almost too advanced to teach the younger children."
"Too advanced?"
"You beat the teacher."
"Whoops?" I said with a smirk on my face.
"Anyway, you start this tomorrow, though you can start today if you want." Zara said while rolling her eyes.
"Thanks." I stood up and walked out, trying to work out where my first lesson was. It was a Friday, and almost 10 o'clock, so I should be going to... Swahili. Another language? This should be fun. How quickly can I master this language?
A month later, I was called back into Zara's office.
"Do you remember what we talked about last?"
"Me beating the martial arts teacher."
"Don't be smart." I gave her the most innocent look I could. "That won't work either. Anyway, tomorrow you will be going to the SAS for a month. You'll be Alex Cub from Henderson's Academy, a specialist PE and language school. You'll be teamed up with the unit that picked you, K Unit." Great, a month in hell with them. Such fun! "The instructors won't know you're part of CHERUB, but the sergeant, and obviously K Unit will. Don't let anyone find out about us. And don't show us up." She handed me a mobile phone. "Don't lose this. I want weekly text updates. Send it to the number under my name. If anything disastrous happens, ring it immediately, though I don't know what could happen at a camp full of SAS soldiers."
"So I have to make sure no-one finds out I'm a spy, while simultaneously being the best one there?" Sounded easy enough. That was what I was doing at the moment, wasn't it?
"Yes. Go pack your stuff." I turned to leave. I heard a quiet "Good luck" when I closed the door.
Back in my room, I had to decide what to take. I ended up packing Smithers' gadgets, a couple of sets of normal clothes, toiletries and the phone Zara had given me. Now I had to text MI5 and MI6, while being the best there is, but not making anyone suspicious for both of them. God, life was getting confusing.
I woke up at about 5 the next morning, and almost swore. I had half an hour to get ready, and get down to the reception so I could meet the driver. I managed to grab a piece of toast on the way down. I arrived in the reception area at 5.29. No-one was there. I nibbled at my toast. A minute later, Crawley walked in, talking to Zara.
"..and this is the reception for the site. Ah, Alex nice to see you're here on time."
"Didn't think I'd make it?"
"Well... Anyhow, this is John Crawley, from MI6. He's going to be driving you to the camp. This is Alex Cub, one of our new recruits, and the best we've ever had. It's like he was made for the life of a spy." Crawley smiled at this.
"Well, I just hopes he decides to become one! MI6 is always in need of new recruits." I almost burst out laughing. I could see a ghost of a smile on Crawley's mouth.
"We'll see, Crawley. We'll see."
Almost 6 hours later, we arrived at the SAS camp. I had updated Crawley on what had been happening at CHERUB. For some reason, I had kept forgetting to text Smithers. I probably ought to stop him worrying... Before I could do anything about it, I was standing in front of the sergeant, with four other teenagers.
"Right. I do not want any of you here. I do not know why anyone thought this would be a good idea. You will be grouped with the unit that thought you would be a good idea. You will follow their training schedule to the letter. If you miss out I will punish you. I can, and will send you away if you turn out to be completely unsuitable. Any questions, you can save for your units. Dismissed." The sergeant stalked away. I could see the units hiding in the forest. I gave K Unit a little wave behind my back, and turned to the other kids. There were 3 people I didn't recognise, and...
"Tom!" I exclaimed.
"Alex! How are you? I haven't seen you in ages! Are you still..." He paused for a second. "Is that why you're here? Is that why we're here? Have you beaten up any bad guys lately? I haven't seen any suspicious things on the news." He whispered in my ear, in one breath
"I'll explain later." I said trying not to laugh "The units are hiding in the trees, and shouldn't we meet the other people stranded here with us?"
"Oh! Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." Tom bounded up to them, and stuck out his hand.
"Hey! I'm Tom, this is Alex. What're your names?" A brown haired and eyed, average height boy shook Tom's hand.
"I'm Tony Wing, from Norwich. How do you two know each other?"
"We used to go to school together." I answered quickly. Tom pouted. A ginger kid with one green eye, one blue laughed. "I'm Joe Dean. Manchester, born and raised. This is turning out to be better than I thought it would be."
"Well, this is touching and all, but don't you kiddies want to put your stuff away?" A gruff voice from behind me said.
"I'm Leopard, from F Unit. I need Wing." Tony walked over.
"Have fun!" he called out, waving at us as he walked away. Tom turned to the last person. He was small, with light brown hair and blue eyes which kept nervously shifting from place to place.
"So who are you?" he inquired.
"What's it to you?" came the sullen reply.
"That's a funny name. Do you have a nickname or anything? Cause, if not I have the perfect one for you. You know, you look a bit like Alex..."
"Harris, stop antagonizing this poor kid. You get to see this wonderful place now, and get to love it as much as we do." Tom skipped after the man. I felt sorry for his unit. I turned around, to see something I'd never expected.
"Did SCORPIA not pay well enough then Nyoka?" I called out to the man standing at the back of a unit. There was a lot of confusion at that. The other teenager looked panicked at that.
"He's from SCORPIA?" he asked hurriedly.
"No. But he did keep 5 kids in a cell. Though that didn't last long." The teen looked worried and relieved simultaneously. I didn't realise that was possible. He held out his hand.
"I'm Felix. Felix Lester."
"Have I met you before? Because I recognise your name..." What the hell was Felix Lester, a computer whiz, doing at an SAS camp? And why did he jump when I said SCORPIA? Before I could get further into my thoughts, Nyoka came up to me.
"What did you call me? And why the hell do you think I was working for SCORPIA?"
"Don't you remember? You drugged five teenagers, held them in a cell and told them you were from SCORPIA. It didn't last long, however, because you thought I couldn't hurt you cause I was a child. I got you to tell me all of your ravings, just so 'I didn't have to repeat anything'. I don't suppose you'd remember the rest of the story as you were unconscious." Nyoka had gotten paler and paler as I continued. When I finished he looked like he was about to faint.
"You... You were one of those kids?"
"I bet you can guess which one, or am I overestimating you intelligence?" He growled at me. Actually growled. I'd only heard Wolf do that.
"I can make your life a living hell."
"Wanna bet?" I think he gave up at that point.
"Lester, come with me. We need to meet up with the rest of the unit" Felix followed him fearfully. I waited until they had gone round the corner, and then set off in the opposite direction.
"Hey, Cub!" I heard Eagle yell. "Where do you think you're going."
"To the hut. I don't fancy running a few extra miles, just because you think we should go back via the lake."
I entered the mess hall a few hours later, for tea. I met a very disgruntled Tom.
"They made me run!"
"That's not the worse they've got up their sleeves." I muttered to him.
"You need to tell me what you've been up to anyway!"
"Not here. Want to go for a walk later?"
"As soon as I've finished this... whatever it is." With that, he quickly cleared his plate, whilst holding his nose.
"Now come on!" Tom dragged me out by my arm. After a while he said "OK! Now, spill." I told him everything.
"Pah! You fell out of a tree at K Unit! Twice!" He laughed. I rolled my eyes.
"Yes. You ignore the fact that I found out about a whole school of under-aged spies working willingly for MI5, and focus on the main point of this story – I love falling out of trees at K Unit."
"Didn't you work for MI5 at one point? Why couldn't they use their own people?"
"These kids have an ethics committee. I wonder what they'd rank my missions as..." I was lost in thought for a second. Then I heard a twig snap. It was quite a way away. Shit. Had someone overheard what I'd told Tom? The next twig that snapped was closer. Still not good, but meant that they hadn't heard my story. Or they had, and were still coming closer. I quickly climbed up a tree.
"Alex? Where'd you go?" Damn. I forgot about Tom. Whoops. Then he heard another twig snapping.
"Alex?" He called out again.
"Nope." A cheery voice yelled back.
"Joe!" Tom yelled, a smile on his face.
"Nope!"
"Eagle?" I yelled
"Hey, kid, how'd you guess?" I could hear the pout in his voice. He hadn't heard that the voice came from a different place. And were completely different.
"I'm just so awesome." Tom replied. I rolled my eyes. I considered jumping out the tree at Eagle... though he'd probably think I fell. Again. For the third time.
"Have you seen Cub around?" Eagle asked.
"He was here a second ago..." Tom replied "If you find him, tell him I'm going to punch him. When I see him."
"Can I do it for you?"
"No."
"Awwww." I didn't think it was someone to look so similar to a kicked puppy.
"You can punch him anyway. Just don't blame it on me." Eagle's face lit up. I made a mental note to avoid him for a few hours, until he forgot about this.
"Well, if you see him, tell him to get himself back to the hut, pronto." Eagle stumbled off. I jumped down from the tree.
"We should get going then." I said loudly
"Jesus Christ Alex!" tom exclaimed. "Where were you?" I pointed at the tree.
"Come on, we've got to beat Eagle back to the hut."
I managed to beat Eagle by about five minutes. Once the whole unit was assembled, Wolf started talking.
"Right. We have the honour of helping out the new recruits with their stealth in a forest. Each of us will have different coloured paint balls. Jackdaw, you'll have black, Snake green, Eagle purple, I'm yellow, and Cub's red. If you get shot in a limb, you can't use it. If you get hit twice like that, you're dead. If you get hit in the torso or head, you're instantly dead. If you die... Well, I hope you like cooking."
"Will any of the other units be 'helping' the recruits?" I asked.
"Well... I'm not supposed to tell you that F Unit are helping out, nor that C Unit, they have Harris with them, will be there as well. The sergeant has told them about each other, but not us. We have to get as many as possible." I grinned. I already had about eight different plans. Wolf carried on. "This will all start at 1900 hours tomorrow. Everyone else will be arriving at 1930. We have to be nowhere near them until they start, then it's us vs. them. Get a good nights sleep tonight." With that, Wolf turned around and went into his bed. I decided to follow his lead.
The next evening, I managed to get away from Tom, and go to the paint ball storage area. Wolf was the only one not there. I got my things prepared, and by the time I had finished, Wolf had appeared.
"Right. You've got 15 minutes before anyone else shows up. Go and get a good hiding place. You'll hear the whistle that means start. And remember, get everybody."
"Everybody?" I asked
"No, just the trees. Yes, of course everyone." I smiled. "OK!" I quickly shot Wolf, and ran off into the forest. I heard an outraged cry, and someone say "Well, you did say everyone."
I didn't have to wait long past the 15 minutes before I heard someone approaching my perch in a tree. They weren't being very quiet, so was either a recruit, Tom or Tony. I moved carefully round the tree, to try and by a clear shot. I recognised the back of Tom's head. I smiled evilly, deciding how to let Tom know I was there. I shot twice. Once at his leg. Once at his buttocks. Both hit their target. Tom was out, and would have a couple of painful bruises tomorrow. I slipped down the opposite side of the tree, and ran to find more people to shoot. I heard a group of recruits coming my way. Perfect. I put the most 'don't hurt me I'm an innocent lost boy' look I could on my face, and stumbled noisily towards them, using my paint ball gun as a crutch. They heard me coming (a deaf person would hear me coming), and instantly pointed their guns at me. I froze, the scared look still on my face. They immediately lowered their guns and looked at each other.
"Hey, kid, what are you doing here?" one asked, coming closer. I didn't say anything. The rest of his unit were slowly following behind him. I waited until they were about five meters away, they pulled up my gun and shot them all. I almost burst out laughing at the shock and confusion on their faces.
"I'm in uniform, and have a gun. Did think I'm harmless because I'm an innocent child?" I walked off leisurely, chuckling to myself at their confused and outraged faces.
By the end of the game, I had got the rest of K Unit, F Unit, C Unit and quite a lot of the recruits, using the same trick. It's amazing the compassion the SAS will show towards an injured child. Well, K Unit didn't get to see that trick, though it would probably work on Snake... But he was with Jackdaw, so that screwed that plan up. So I just shot them from a tree. I didn't fall out of it either. Anyway, I managed to get back to the sergeant without being shot once. I was the only one with a clean uniform. There was a lot of red paint on uniforms. I didn't get that many, did I? There were... one.. two without red paint on. Including me, and the sergeant. I could see the sergeant was about to explode. And by golly, explode he did.
"YOU ALL GOT DEFEATED BY ONE PERSON. ONE! WHO HAD THE RED PAINT?" I stood up cautiously. A few people looked shocked. Tom looked outraged and mouthed 'You shot me in the arse'. The sergeants rant this time round made the original shouting sound like a piece of relaxing classical music.
"YOU ARE THE BEST ENGLAND HAS TO OFFER. AND YOU GOT BEATEN BY A RUDDY TEENAGER. I SHOULD BIN THE LOT OF YOU BERE AND NOW. HOWEVER, AS I CANNOT DO THAT, YOU WILL ALL RECIVE PUNISHMENT FOR TWO MONTHS. YOU WILL HAVE NO FREE TIME, AND THIS ENTIRE PLACE WILL BE SPOTLESS. THE FOOD WILL BE FANTASTIC. THE ONLY ONE GETTING OFF WILL BE CUB HERE." There was silence for a second, then a recruit put up a hand.
"Sir? Do you mean to say that the legendary 'Cub' that everyone says can outdo us, is this kid here?" There was a definite emphasis on kid. The sergeant looked confused for a second.
"DO YOU NOT KNOW ABOUT THE RECRUITMENT GUIDELINES? YOU HAVE TO BE EIGHTEEN AT LEAST TO JOIN THE SAS. THESE KIDDIES HERE ARE THE FIRST EVER TO EXPERIENCE SAS TRAINING BEFORE EVER BEING ABLE TO APPLY. THE SOLDIER CUB WAS THE MOST IMPRESSIVE RECRUIT ANYONE HAS EVER SEEN. HE EVEN BEAT THE FASTEST TIME ON THE ASSAULT COURSE. DOES IT LOOK LIKE THIS KID COULD?" I smiled. He hadn't said I wasn't Cub. Wait... Cub had beaten the best time? That meant I had taken less than 15 minutes to do it... I wonder if I could do that again... After going on nine missions, I wonder how much I've improved. I was pulled out of my thoughts by the SAS men leaving. Tom came up to me.
"You shot me. IN THE ARSE."
"Well noticed."
"I won't be able to sit properly for ages!"
"You sit properly in the first place? Anyway, the bruise will only be there for a couple of weeks" I got a mini glare for that.
"Even worse, I can't impress people with it! I can't tell people I was shot in the bottom!"
"Well, you could... you'd just become a laughing stock." Tom rolled his eyes and followed his unit to their hut. I walked across to K Unit.
"I hold the record for the assault course?" I asked Snake quietly.
"12 minutes, 42 seconds. Beat Wolf by about a minute. That was a sore point for him. He wants you to do it quicker when we next run it. He's also really annoyed that you shot him."
"Well he did say everyone." Snake laughed.
"I know. Just please don't piss him off more. We all have to live with him." I grinned.
"I'll do my best."
"CUB!" I jolted upright, nearly falling out of my bed in the process. My eyes focused, and I was unprepared for what I saw. Wolf, covered in pink and purple feathers. I couldn't contain my laughter.
"Bloody hell... who knew you had a fetish for dressing up as a pink and purple chicken?" I said, almost in tears.
"You're on kitchen duty for a week."
"What?" I yelled, indignantly. "That wasn't me. I had enough fun shooting everyone yesterday." Eagle walked in at this point. He fell on the floor.
"Snake!" he yelled. "I told you it'd work!" Snake cautiously entered through the open door, and quickly retreated again at the sight of Wolf. Jackdaw came in a minute later.
"Why is Snake... oh. Eagle, I told you you'd get Wolf, not the sergeant."
"He was aiming for the sergeant?" I asked. Jackdaw nodded.
"He and Eagle... don't see quite eye to eye." he explained. "Something about Eagle, and a bet that he couldn't talk for two months, about a year ago."
"That'd be why he didn't talk much."
"Probably. Anyway, we've got to get breakfast, then we're running the assault course."
"Fun." I replied, monotonously.
The assault course hadn't change at all. Wolf sent me first, as he wanted to see 'whether little Cub had improved in a year.' I rolled my eyes and set off. It seemed... well, easier to say the least. I finished without becoming too out of breath. Wolf looked up at me, down at the stopwatch, and up at me again. His mouth was open.
"You look like a fish" I said. He closed his mouth. "So, how good was I?"
"10 minutes, 29 seconds." Jackdaw read out. Stunned silence.
"That can't be right. He's not even out of breath." Snake said.
"Go do it again. And try this time." So I did. Again. And again. And again. Eventually the rest just gave up.
"8 minutes, 40 seconds. It's definitely not the stopwatch. I think the record needs to be changed. Go find the sergeant, and tell him." Wolf said. I was crouched on the floor, panting.
"Thank... God... please... don't make... me do it... that many... times again." I panted.
"Not today, Cub. Not today."
A couple of days later, we were on the shooting range, and the teacher there was treating me like an idiot. I suppose he hadn't heard of my single-handed massacre of the recruits and 3 units, and didn't know I was a spy. It didn't help. He kept saying things like 'make sure you always point the gun down the range' and 'keep the safety on unless you're shooting'. He was just so patronising. Eventually I snapped.
"Look, I know how to use a gun, ok? Can I please just shoot now?" He looked at me sceptically.
"Fine, kid. Just make sure you hit the target ok?" I was fuming by now. I took a glance at the target, memorised where it was, looked the teacher straight in the eye and shot until the gun clicked empty. He seemed slightly unsettled that I had done that without blinking, or changing expression. He went to get the target, and stopped a few steps away from it. He leaned in closer to look at the target. I guess I'd done better than he'd been expecting. He brought the target back up. I could see see one hole in the middle, though it seems one bullet was slightly off. I frowned.
"Why are you frowning?" the teacher asked. "This is incredible!" I pointed to the slightly off-centre hole.
"That's why I'm frowning. I haven't shot in a while, and it shows."
"Kid. This is the best shooting I've ever seen! And you did it with only a glance at the target! If only the recruits could shoot like you..." K Unit had seen me shoot without looking. Damn. I hoped they wouldn't ask too many questions...
"Where on earth did you learn to shoot like that?" Wolf asked.
"You know I was in a gang." I said.
"Still, I don't know anyone who can shoot that well."
"You do. Me." I stood back, ignoring their questioning looks, and waited for K Unit to get on with their shooting. Snake was ok, getting them grouped around the middle. Eagle... was obviously the sharp-shooter. Most grouped around the bulls-eye, with 3 or 4 a bit further out. Wolf was closer to Snakes standard, but got a couple in the bullseye. Jackdaw was confusing. He got on in the bulls-eye, then one in the 3rd ring. Another bullet got in the 5th, so one went in the 4th. They were all grouped, but it seemed almost deliberate. All too soon they finished. The next thing scheduled for us was a talk on none other than SCORPIA. When we arrived, Nyoka and Felix's unit were waiting. This would be interesting, for lack of a better word.