Chapter 9: My Life Raft, My Fratello.

(Author's Note) I am very glad to be a part of this journey, but soon it will be over. I'm thinking that by chapter 6 it will be done. This Chapter will only be from Damon's point of view.

Thoughts

I want to give a big thank you to my Beta Pretty Girl 818 J

I was cleaning up the kitchen after our midnight cookie escapade. It was quiet, too quiet for Stefan to be asleep. He had revealed a lot tonight but not all of it. Lexi had given him advice for many things and one of them was about the importance of being patient. Patience was always going to be hard…I really should get a new knife set, this one is nearly blunt. Damon thought, as he looked at the knife set he was drying. He made his way to the light switch turning out the light and the night that had happened here.

Stefan had gone to bed after eating his share of the cookies and had insisted he was going to sleep in his bedroom. I let him, I know I shouldn't have left him alone after the nightmares, but he wanted to be independent from his brother for a night. Okay, this is crazy, why am I feeling motherly? I have the urge to check on him even though it was only, he looked at the grandfather clock. See I really am going all mother hen if I want to check on him after only 2 hours…he probably isn't even asleep yet. I can just walk past his room and say goodnight, maybe play it off.

He ambled up the stairs, turned down a corridor, ambled up the next few stairs to the tower, and saw the door was open. He didn't think about it at first, but maybe Stefan had been expecting the mother hen in him to be woken by the night's events. He eased the door open a little more and stopped before the creek could come from the old door. He slid in the opening and was counting his blessings that he was so nimble and skinny to fit through the small crack of the door. He stopped when he saw Stefan starring at him.

"Are we James Bond?"

"You know I was better than him, I got more women and only sometimes did they try to kill me." Damon says, his charm coming naturally. He stands up straight, closing the door when he leans against it.

"What brings you to my domain for it's truly a surprise," Stefan sarcastically states from his bed.

"Came to say goodnight, you know, what you would expect from me in mother hen mode," Damon responded

"There is no mother hen mode from you Damon. There is only the over protective brother I know," Stefan said as he pulled at the threads of his cover. He wanted to ask Damon to stay, but he didn't want to sound weak so he didn't. Damon watches him from the doorway. His face said it and Damon knew that Stefan wanted him here.

"On second thought," he flashes to the bed and gets under the covers, "I think I'll stay with you. That old oak tree is scary," he says faking fear. He knew Stefan would never call him on it. I can stay here for the night but my back is going to kill me in the morning. "Stupid Civil War," he mutters under his breath

"What?" he hears Stefan ask from beside him.

"Nothing" he mutters a little louder this time.

"Okay," Stefan says dismissively. He was glad that his brother had not made him ask to stay with him during the night.

****** Morning

I'm getting way too old for this…was the first thought that came to his mind before realizing he was fully awake. Okay, stay still for a minute. Maybe I can figure out how to get out of this contraption Stefan's arms seemed to be making.

He peaked at Stefan from one eye and saw the octopus limbs trapping him to the bed. He pulled his right wrist from under Stefan's left forearm. The only thing to do was to slowly pull his limbs from under Stefan or else he would risk waking him. That was not something he wanted, especially having finally gotten him to sleep for more than 4 hours after being awake for 39 hours. Stefan moved his head near Damon clavicle it was a bit annoying having an octopus for a brother sometimes. Stefan you always where the snuggler, Damon thought as he gently removed his legs from between Stefan's legs. Okay, almost free, I just have to get out of the vice grip Stefan has on my right hand. For a bunny diet you have a grip fratello. It's a good thing I'm dead or my arm would be.

There…He looked at his free limbs and then realized that he couldn't move Stefan's head from his chest because that would wake him up. Well, at least I can move my legs and left arm. He yawned and felt his brother snuggle his head into his chest. It wasn't weird. Damon had long since gotten used to his brother's snuggling. Ever since Stefan was 5 he would grab his arm in the middle of sleep if they shared a bed. He had woken to quite the surprise that first morning when he had tried to get out of bed and he realized that his right arm wouldn't because it was encased by a Stefan cast. He had picked Stefan up then and pulled him against his chest, not caring if his father beat him for being late to his morning chores. Damon had been about 9 or 10 years old at the time.

Stefan never held on to him anymore in his sleep. Damon missed the brother that would cling to him and so that when he had woken to octopus Stefan it was nostalgia overtaking his emotions.

Years later Stefan would adamantly try to not touch his brother in his sleep because it meant weakness somehow. And when he was 10 and Damon 15 he had insisted that he could sleep on his own, only to come ducking under the covers of Damon's bed when the occasional thunderstorm would happen.

He had wanted his brother to sleep then too, Stefan was never good with nightmares or being separate from Damon. Which begged the question, how did he deal all those years that he had been mad at Stefan and not around? Now they were beginning to get close again, definitely not like it was back in 1865, but it was better too.

The old Damon would have been at a complete loss about what to do in their current situation, but then again, he also never thought men would never be raped in his lifetime. He had more than 2 lifetimes of experience now and a very decent woman, though he hated to admit that Lexi had been helpful even beyond the grave. He stroked Stefan hair in his idle thoughts and eventually fell asleep again.

When he next woke, it thanks to his own panicked dream. He gasped not wanting to remember what his brain had just thought up to plague him with horror. Stefan stirred then and rubbed a hand in Damon's curly hair.

"Sleep Damon, it was just a dream," a half asleep Stefan explained to a shocked Damon.

Damon slowed his heart rate and focused on not disturbing his brother. The dream was too real. It was like he could still smell the water. The dream seemed more like a memory than a nightmare. He was trying to calm down when he realized the nightmare wasn't his. Sure it had happened in his head, but it was not his memory...

He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply running through the nightmare in the afternoon light, judging by where the light was hitting the bed. He took another deep breath and let it out slowly. The calming breaths were to help calm him before the storm of emotion that came with the nightmare. They were so intense they would make any vampire want to turn off their emotion. He closed his eyes and melted into Stefan's bed trying to ground him before he left it. He felt Stefan tighten his arm around his chest and his legs had wrapped around him. He realized the octopus was back.

####In Damon's mind

It was dark. The night seemed sad. There where no stars in the sky, just the too dark clouds. He clearly remembers this night. It was mid-October and the weather had been threatening to rain all day. He was sure that Stefan would come to him in the night if that old tree frightened him. He went looking for Stefan and walked past a mirror in their big house and what he saw startled him to a near panic attack.

Grassy green eyes, not the blue that were his mother's, were staring back at him. The ice-cold blue was gone and his hair was not crow black like it usually was. Now it was blond…he didn't look like the raven anymore. He looked like Saint Stefan. It was eerie. He had only gotten a glimpse as he walked past. He was Stefan. He wanted to be somewhere else. He wasn't supposed to be Stefan he was supposed to be Damon Salvatore. This was creepy. He felt like he was a ghost a shell. As he walks he feels the sock in his shoes, the shoes that where hitting the hardwood floor of their mansion.

He sees his father through a crack in the library door, scribbling in the logbook detailing the day's trade. Stefan stops and stares at his father. Damon felt the pride Stefan felt for their father. Damon never had pride in his father unless it was false pride. He only ever felt sour emotions towards his father.

Stefan moved on to the stables. Damon knew that he, the real him, was there. It was cold out and he had been taking care of the horses. The stable boy was his friend and Stefan's trainer. When it came to horses it was obvious he lacked a certain finesses that Damon had in an unnatural amount. It was weird seeing himself mucking out the stalls while he chatted with Phillip the stable boy, joking and laughing, he felt an overwhelming feeling of sadness crash over him. It wasn't his but Stefan's he realized. These where not emotions he would normally feel, Stefan had always been the loving one, especially towards him, so it was strange.

I'll be back vecchiofratello. Deep down Damon knew there was something wrong with Stefan this night. It was like Stefan was vowing to keep him safe. Damon felt Stefan's body shudder as they walked the familair path to the lake near their house.

Stefan's thoughts bombarded him. It was a flashback of Kreb's threatening to kill Damon if he didn't come to the lake like many other nights it seems. There where verbal threats and hand written notes but this one had come by messenger today. It showed Damon's daily riding route and a musket ball inside the package. Was that why Stefan was sad? This was before Katherine, it would have been hard to seperate the brother's because they where beyond close.

Damon was heartbroken, his brother had gone through with being raped so that he was safe? Stefan was not supposesd to be the protector. He was the, vecchio fratello, the older brother, the protector it was not the other way around. He heard another thought come through after the memory of the letter stopped playing in his head.

I will do whatever it takes to protect you, just promise me you will never leave me vecchiofratello.

Oh my poor fratellino, if only you could have told me I would have made sure this never would have happened to you. Stefan sometimes you amaze me with your kindness and strength to protect and other times I want to strangle you for it. I promise not to leave you fratellino, I may have gone away a while ago but I never will again.

Damon saw a man in the cattails of the lake. He was taller than Damon which meant that he was much taller than Stefan. It was only October, Stefan wouldn't get a growth spurt to get to the height he was now, for atleast another 2 months, making him his undead height. Damon looked at the outline more and realized it was the banker in town, Mr. Krebs. Damon knew he died soon after Katherines arrival. He just figured she drank him for fun.

There was an overlwhelming emotion of fear and dread when Stefan saw Krebs walking from the cattails by the bank to where he was standing. Stefan held his breath when Krebs came near him. As if on cue a lightning bolt shot across the sky illuninating the face of Stefan's rapist. It was disgusting how the man's face was smiling. He mentally shivered but Stefan physically did against the cold and the hand that touched his angelic face. It was not right. No one should be touching Stefan. He was young, not even of courting age. Over the century Damon had been coerced into drunk sex unwillingly, but Stefan was feeling so many emotions it was like he was there and this was his own body.

The man pushed his body on Stefan sending bile to both of the Salvatore's throats. The kiss was bruising. It was disgusting. His breath was like onion and vanilla. Who mixes those two flavors? Damon thought it was Stefan's brain remebering this fact, the hand groping him through Stefan trousers was huge. That's it. Stop it, Damon thought. He was shouting stop, trying to move, but he was trapped in Stefan's body and his memories. These where Stefan's memories and not a dream.

The rough hands alerted him to movement. It was tearing away buttons from Stefan's shirt and a ripping sound was accompanying it...the sound of a trouser being torn. It made Damon want to fight more, only to learn it was futile becasue you could not change the past no matter how you might have wanted to. It made Damon physically ill to feel what Stefan was feeling. He couldn't fight all he could do was take it, the memory was going to play out, he just wanted to know where this had all come from. Damon knew it was Stefan's memory of Krebs attacking and raping him but Stefan didn't have the juice to run around in his head.

Stefan grunted as Krebs pushed himself hard into him. There was no warning just a terrible sense of something be shoved on him. A scream erupted from both their throats. Damon felt emotions overun him. First there was anger, then disgust, shame, fear, embarresment and lastly, it was strange, a small glimmer of love. This small spark was what kept Stefan in place and not running away or fighting his way out. It was love for his brother that kept him here in this spot. He was protecting Damon out of love, not letting him get killed.

The guilt from Damon's own feelling overwhelmed him as another lightning strike thundered overhead illumunating what his brother was doing for him. This was terrible, the memory too much. He used his power to spur it he morphed the evil lustfilled eyes into something else. Stefan didn't have the juice to resist his power. He was just able to project his current nightmare into Damon's head. His defenses had been low and he was asleep for the first time in 56 hours. Sure vampires didn't need as much sleep as a humans but it had been awhile since he had last really slept. Most probably since before Stefan had had that first nightmare.

He felt all the emotions keep him in place. Like an ocean it surrounded him. He couldn't just turn them off. Sure, he could turn them off if he wanted, but then he would be abandoning his brother. So he couldn't turn off his emotions and take over the dream and stop this madness.

Krebs was nearly finished, he was pumping faster into him, like he was just a tool to jerk off with. This was disgusting. Even Damon would need a shower after this. Panic was washing over him, it was Stefan's, this was the current feeling not part of the memory it was how he felt while dreaming this. Damon wanted nothing more than to wake him up but he was trapped by the dream. It was a trap for both of them. Damon unable to get loose because of Stefan's panic and Stefan panicing only because Damon was in his memory.

Krebs had just pulled out of Stefan and was cleaning himself off on the trousers he wore, a shark grin covering his face. He stooped to kiss Stefan like he was his soulmate...like he was delusional and thinking that Stefan screaming this whole time was out of ecstasy and not pain and humilation. Damon was seething, he wanted to drain this man dry of his blood in the most painful way possible. He wanted to force him his blood so he would be fine again and set him on fire. Sear off all the flesh, and when he died deal with him as a newborn vampire staking him. Even as he thought it he knew that it would never be enough.

Krebs was walking away now and Stefan was letting the tears he had been holding back out of sheer will drop down his face. He felt the rain start to fall and he stood in there just enjoying the water. It felt right after so many things that where wrong. Damon could feel the rain too. Just as he had felt every disgusting thrust. He felt the uglinness that was rape.

It was a memory, a nightmare, it was both those things and it was all being washed away by the rain. Sometimes the rain could do that, it could take away things for a minute or two. He saw the edges of the view turn black it was like the dream was ending the memory finished. The storm had raged for hours that night. Damon remembered. He had waited for Stefan that night, half expecting him to crawl into his bed afraid of the storm.

The flashback of tonights events where ending as Damon opened his eyes for the second time. He couldn't stand those memories but he knew Stefan needed to confront the man who had made them so frightening. I will help you fratellino, I promise to not leave again I swear it on mother's grave just like I swore to her that I would protect you. For how ever long I live and this time I will keep my promise, Damon pledged to Stefan.

Damon reached up and stroked Stefan's hair, shushing him in his sleep. He entered Stefan's mind with his wits about him and entertained him with a memory of his own.

When Damon was 12 and Stefan 6 a game of tag was in full swing, and when it ended he showed him his memory of when Damon was sick and Stefan had been there. It was one of the few times there roles where reversed. Though Stefan probably would never know how deathly ill he had been when he caught pneumonia. A 105 fever and Stefan was reading him a book while Damon was huddled under the covers trying to sweat it out.

In chapter 5 there will be a confrontation and little miss Judgy makes an apearence.

I know right, I was like I don't know about this but I can't make the boys travel back in time. Thank you for your time make sure to read and review.