Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from or the Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha anime, nor any other movie, actor, song, or character referenced or stated in this story.
UNBREAKABLE
by : ~Nissanity~
Chapter 4 – Old Habits
~Day 3~
Something felt wrong to Fate that morning, an uneasy sensation burrowing into her subconscious. She sat up straight in the bed and scanned the darkened bedroom, relying heavily on all her senses for the source. She pulled the bed sheet to her chest and waited, listening intently for any noise that could be deemed out of the ordinary. It was a deeply ingrained habit from times she spent on unfamiliar planets, seeking unrepentant individuals.
Less than a minute had passed and a soft moan suddenly came from the bed beside her. Fate couldn't help but smile a little in response to the familiar sound. She figured her sleeping lover was likely having another adult-themed dream like she had the week prior. However, when Nanoha emitted another moan seconds later, it sounded much more distressed than the first.
"Fate...cha..." she whispered, her voice strained and desperate. She flinched as well, and the bed shook slightly with the motion.
Illuminated by the moonlight filtering through their bedroom window, Fate could now see the tears escaping through Nanoha's closed eyelids. They traveled in small paths down her cheeks, and several had already fallen away to pool on her pillow. Fate propped herself up on her elbow to lay beside her, although she left a little distance between them in case she woke up violently.
"Nanoha...? Hey, wake up," she called to her in a hushed voice. "You're having a bad dream right now."
Her sleeping lover did not immediately wake to her request, although she did become more still. Fate feathered the long bangs away from Nanoha's eyes before cupping her face with a gentle hand. She brushed away a tear that had just fallen with the pad of her thumb.
The gesture all but pulled Nanoha out of her nightmare. Sapphire eyes opened and blinked several times, then traveled wildly around the room to gather her surroundings. They eventually came to settle on Fate laying beside her, causing her to take a sharp breath at the sight.
The blond watched Nanoha's face shift from shock at first to sheer disbelief at her presence. Finally she relaxed, accepting that what she had just experienced had in fact only been a dream. She brought a shaky hand to Fate's face though, as if to fully confirm that she was indeed there in the flesh and blood. And as she did, her resolution seemed to crumble, with new tears forming at the corners of her eyes again.
Fate didn't quite understand what was bringing about this reaction, but the expression immediately evoked an instinctual desire to protect her. She wrapped her arms around her and drew her in close. Nanoha in turn buried her face into her soft skin and began to openly sob against her shoulder. Fate had witnessed her having bad dreams like this occasionally, although her reaction to them had never been this intense.
"Hey, it's okay," Fate quietly assured her as the tears began to soak into the cloth of her nightgown. She attempted to soothe her by petting her head and running gentle fingers through her chestnut hair. She eventually leaned back onto her pillow and continued to cradle the smaller woman in her arms. "I'm here now, Nanoha. It's okay."
The last statements only caused Nanoha to shake her head and to cry even harder. She gripped Fate's nightgown tightly, clenching fistfuls of black cloth in both hands. And with that response, the reason for this new level of grief was no longer a mystery. Fate had no words to help this time. She was left only with this gesture to comfort her until the tears had subsided on their own. But as Nanoha began to calm herself down, Fate's feelings of guilt had just started to grow, soon leaving a bitter taste in her mouth in the wake.
Seeing Nanoha in her state felt nearly unbearable to her. It burned and clenched at her heart, and in that moment she would done anything to make the emotional burden less on her. Nanoha's breathing eventually slowed, signaling she had fallen back asleep, tucked away safe in Fate's warm embrace for now. The Enforcer stayed awake for much longer in those early morning hours though. Sleep eluded her as she fretted over the unanswerable questions that were now flooding her mind repeatedly.
How could she attempt to comfort Nanoha when she was the ultimate reason for all this pain she was feeling? What was going to happen when the next bad dream came and she was thousands of miles away? But the question most pressing of all - - just what the hell could she possibly do to fix this?
oOOOo
The blank white wall made a good focal point while Fate sat outside of Shamal's office. She felt almost numb inside, letting herself completely zone out to her surroundings. She was emotionally drained with all the days events up to that point, even though it was now only a little after nine o'clock in the morning.
By the time Fate had gotten out of the shower that morning, Nanoha was already out of bed and back to her usual cheerful self, even humming lightly while cooking breakfast for their family. Fate felt a little worse with each minute that passed, although outwardly she went along with her own morning routine as well without issue. She hadn't dared to bring up what had transpired between them a few hours before, and she wasn't sure if she was ever going to either.
The problem she faced was not the strong appearances they were both making for each other that morning. It was the occasional glimpses of the pain she noticed in her partner now, ones Nanoha was trying so hard to mask from her. A look of sadness when she mentioned the mission. Moments of hesitation here and there. Soft sighs under her breath. How long had she been doing that? Was it directly related to their new relationship, or did Fate just finally notice after all these years?
She couldn't be upset or angry that Nanoha was trying to spare her feelings by attempting to conceal her own, but that didn't give Fate a free pass to pretend it wasn't happening. She knew she had an obligation to make it right now that she was aware of the issue, but she also had the added pressure of time working against her. She had less than forty-eight hours to find a viable solution before she would be leaving again.
A bitter voice suddenly cut into her jumbled thoughts. "You'd think she'd have a better method than this, you know?" her partner grumbled.
Fate rose to her feet when she heard Teana's complaint, not having realized the office door was now open beside her. Her partner was standing outside the doorway and holding a cotton ball at the inner bend of her elbow where a blood sample had been drawn.
"I think Shamal is just traditional," Fate replied with a shrug.
The blond doctor made her appearance in the doorway and waved her next patient inside. "You're up next, Fate. Let's go."
"Good luck," Teana said over her shoulder as she walked away. "I'll be in the locker room when you're done."
Fate entered the office and Shamal hurriedly shut the door behind them before gesturing to the exam table a few feet away. In those motions, Fate could sense the doctor was probably swamped with a heavy workload that day, no doubt facing a lot of physicals for Enforcers leaving the day after tomorrow.
"Go ahead and remove your jacket and make yourself comfortable," she instructed as she scurried around the room.
The paper covering the examination table crinkled loudly when Fate sat down on top of it. She removed her Enforcer jacket and folded it neatly in her lap before placing it on the seat behind her. She turned her attention to unbuttoning the left sleeve of her white uniform blouse next while she waited patiently for the exam to begin.
Shamal soon rolled her stool away from her desk towards the examination table, coming to her usual spot in front of her patient. She placed the tips of her stethoscope into her ears and reached for the blood pressure cuff hanging from the vitals machine nearby.
"Bardiche has a heart rate monitor- " Fate began to say.
The seasoned doctor chuckled a little and put the stethoscope chestpiece under the cuff. "It only gives us the most basic measurements. You'd be surprised at what we catch when we see you guys like this. It's good to be assessed with two hands occasionally."
Fate hummed lowly and looked towards the blood pressure monitor beside her. "Maybe you'll find something wrong with me and I won't have to go on this mission after all..." she muttered.
"Woooow," Shamal responded lightly, her eyes growing playfully wide. She moved the end of the stethoscope to the middle of Fate's back next. "I never thought I would hear a comment like that from Enforcer Fate T. Harlaown. Deep breath for me, please? And... exhale."
Fate smiled weakly afterwards. "I probably shouldn't be saying things like that, huh?"
"I don't think it's a problem," Shamal smiled and put the cuff back on the hook. "In fact, I'd be more worried if you didn't want to stay now after your recent developments. But unfortunately for you, your blood pressure is perfectly normal. I'm sorry to break the bad news, but I must deem you fit for full duty."
The Enforcer stayed quiet as Shamal slid towards a nearby cabinet to retrieve the needles and vials to take a blood sample next. With her back still turned she mentioned over her shoulder, "You know, it's not always physical pain that's the problem. Whatever you need to get off your chest, you're welcome to share here. It won't leave this room."
Fated nodded that she understood as the doctor returned to the spot in front her. Shamal pulled the sleeve of her blouse up and concentrated on exposing her vein for the sample. "Well..." Fate began, "this morning Nanoha had a bad dream, and I'm pretty sure it was about me and my job. She cried for a really long time after. It took her a while to get back to sleep."
"Just a little prick..." Shamal at first said as she inserted the needle. Once the blood sample was being collected, she gave Fate her attention again. "So you're worried about a dream that made her cry?"
When Shamal removed the needle, Fate moved her hand to hold the cotton gauze in place and applied pressure. "No, that's not really what I'm worried about, I guess."
"Then what's the issue?"
Fate paused, a vulnerable feeling coming over her. Admitting her fears out loud was something she had struggled with her whole life. "I-I guess... that it could end up being too hard on her, maybe?" she eventually said in a low voice. "She seemed so sad this morning, but she was also trying really hard to hide it from me. I could tell."
Shamal silently slid her stool away so that she could dispose of the needles in the hazardous materials container. As she placed Fate's sample in the machine across the room for analysis, she recalled what Hayate had told her about her conversation at lunch with Nanoha that previous day. Shamal was privy to the instructor's feelings and insecurities regarding Fate's upcoming mission, which left her with the delicate task of giving advice without revealing too much of Nanoha's personal struggles in the process.
"Well, this certainly is a tough one..." she murmured under her breath.
"What was that, Shamal?"
The doctor made a few keystrokes and returned to her stool, sliding across the floor to face Fate again. She clasped her hands in her lap and met with Fate's eyes directly. "As of right now, all I can tell you is that there really is no right or wrong answer in all this."
Fate furled her eyebrows slightly. That wasn't quite the answer she had been expecting. "There isn't?" she asked skeptically.
"No-pe," Shamal replied, slowly emphasizing both parts of the word. "All you can do is decide which option is the most fair and will cause the least amount of pain for everyone involved."
With that bit of general advice, Shamal gave her patient a final pat on the knee in encouragement and quickly stood up again. Fate took the hint and rose from the examination table, albeit at a significantly slower pace. She was a bit shell-shocked and perhaps even more confused about what to do in her situation now.
"Well, wait... Do you think I should talk to Nanoha about how she really feels or not?"
Shamal shrugged. "I don't know. Are you prepared to hear her answer and bear the consequences of it, considering the fact that you're about to leave?"
Fate's mouth opened and she made a motion to respond, but she realized she had no clear thoughts to give voice to at that moment. It was true. She could hear all the truth she wanted from Nanoha, but if she didn't have a solution to make things better in return, then... what did she expect to happen? Except the potential of making the situation much worse, perhaps.
A sharp knock suddenly rang out against the office door. Shamal immediately turned on her heel to cross the room to answer it. Fate's stepped beside the examination table and glanced into the hallway when the door opened, and her eyes grew even wider when she caught sight of who the visitor was on the other side.
"Here are the personnel files you asked for, Shamal," Ginga said.
"Thank you," she replied, taking the brown files that were now being presented to her across the threshold. She started scanning the first file in the pile for information and failed to notice the look of panic now apparent on Fate's face.
Hazel eyes glanced past the doctor in the doorway, and Ginga soon spotted the patient standing inside staring back at her. She recognized a look of distress on Fate's face and genuine concern passed over her own features. She made a small motion forward in her direction out of habit to check on her. She then stopped herself after the slip, remembering her place in Fate's life now. She wordlessly turned to walk back down the hallway as quickly as she could.
With that interaction, Shamal faced Fate again, her lips now pressed in a tight smile. She gestured with her hand for her to exit her office. "Well, I do believe you have quite a few messes to tend to before you leave, Fate. I wish you the best of luck with all of them."
Fate grabbed her Enforcer jacket from the examination table in a rush and put her arms through the sleeves. It was the first time she had seen Ginga alone since their altercation and she knew this might be her only chance to talk to her. She began to button the jacket as quickly as she could, knowing she couldn't leave Shamal's office without being in full uniform.
After what felt like an eternity to line up and fasten the buttons, Fate tore out the door, finding her legs moving faster than her mind was. What was she even going to say to her ex-partner if she did indeed catch up to her? Was she just setting herself up to make it worse between them as well? She would have to cross that bridge when she got there, she figured.
Burgundy eyes quickly scanned the large lobby in front of her, searching in all directions. There, near the elevators. She could see Ginga's violet-hair by the other side of the fountain now. Her pace was fast but Fate's legs were longer. She could catch up to her if she moved fast enough.
"Enforcer Harlaown! Good morning!"
Fate stopped in her tracks and spun around to face the glass staircase behind her. Hayate and Carim Gracia were descending the steps in stride, and both were focused solely on her. From the corner of her eye, Fate could now make out Ginga getting into the elevator to go back upstairs. She had missed her chance after all.
"Good morning ma'am," Fate replied with a gracious smile. She turned to Hayate next and bowed slightly. "Commander."
"We were just about to retrieve you from Shamal's office," Hayate informed her. "We have to start screening the potential candidates to replace Ginga on your team. Think you can meet us down at the training grounds?"
"Yes, of course," she replied, although she was suddenly experiencing a deeper sense of dread with the task. This was just one more event leading up to her inevitable departure.
"Excellent!" Carim said as she clapped her hands together. "The Council is anxious to see what your team is capable of as soon as possible."
Hayate gave both women a tense smile. "Great! I'll just uh, get my new assistant to start setting up the simulation immediately. I'll see you soon, Fate."
"No problem," she responded with a wave, her heart sinking further. "I'll go get Teana from the locker room and we'll meet you there."
oOOOo
Fate squinted hard as the sun relentlessly blazed down on her. She retrieved her sunglasses from her jacket pocket and put them on, seeking any relief she could from it. The sunlight was so intense it felt nearly blinding, which only aggravated her headache that had formed soon after she had left Shamal's office. She wanted to blame it on the blood donation she had made less than an hour prior, but she knew a more probable explanation was the compounding stress she was experiencing that morning.
To add to it, a brand new problem had just presented itself on the spare training grounds. She and Hayate were standing on the raised instructor platform that overlooked the field, silently assessing the current situation between Subaru and Teana below them. The two were standing by and awaiting further instructions, and in the process they were both finding everything else on the planet more interesting than each other. Ginga was stationed at the controls in the observation booth high above them all. The tension was thick for everyone involved.
"Well, this is just peachy," Hayate groans. A quick wave of her hand brought up her transmitter in front of her. After a few keystrokes, Ginga's face appeared in profile on her screen. "Hey, how the hell is your sister at the top of the candidates list all of a sudden?"
Ginga did not look over to acknowledge her and instead continued to push buttons on the control panel. "She just finished her qualification packet and is now the closest match to my statistics, according to the computer. A lot of her classmates showed up on the list this morning."
Hayate sighed loudly in response to her answer, making her feelings about the situation clearly known. "Yeah, but you could have skipped over her, considering the situation she has with Teana here."
"Negative," Ginga replied mechanically. "Filtering out candidates is above my paygrade, Commander."
"Damnit!" the brunette cried. She shook her a fist in frustration towards the screen and then exited her screen in a huff. Fate glanced above her towards the observation booth. Through the reinforced windows, she could faintly see the corners of Ginga's mouth turning upward as she tried to suppress a smile.
Hayate turned her attention to the field again. "Okay, Fate. Do you think we can make this work?"
"There's no telling," she replied honestly. "All we can do is try."
"Well, we have to try hard. Carim says the Council wants to see this combination work. They'll be reviewing the statistics after we're done here."
High above the training field, the drone positioned to broadcast the simulation progress changed from a 'STANDBY' to a 'READY' status. Hayate pulled up her transmitter once again to monitor the statistics of the session closely.
"Let's start with a simple formation with you three," she instructed Fate. "I want to see if these two can work together at all. Maybe you can run some interference if things get out of hand. We'll try something more complicated if it goes okay."
Fate nodded that she understood and flew to her position between the two. Teana touched the corner of her eye to remind her leader to lose the sunglasses. Fate hastily removed the non-regulation item and put them back in her jacket pocket. She then pointed across the field with Bardiche.
"We'll start with a basic flanking movement. Subaru, you go high for a better position on the hill so you can take out the largest drone. Teana, cover her for any ground assaults. I'll clear a path from any air attacks."
"Got it!" the two replied in unison and set their devices. The three stayed in their ready positions until the indicator above changed to a 'GO' status. An aqua aura flickered and rotated first under Subaru.
"Wing Road!" she yelled and punched her fist to the ground to create several blue paths in the sky around them. Teana took to running up the first road beside her to get a better position against the ground assault drones. Fate flew several feet in the lead and charged Bardiche. Subaru started up her predetermined path that ended at the hill she had been assigned to cover.
Shario Finieno, one of Fate's partners on specialty cases, had extensively studied the drones that the new terrorist group used as they laid siege to areas around the planet they were currently invading. She and her team had painstakingly designed replicas for the Enforcers to train on before they faced them in real combat. The drones were crude in comparison to the ones used during the JS Incident, similar to pipe bombs and IED's used on Earth with a protective magic barrier as a defense mechanism. They could just as devastating at causing bodily harm if one was not prepared though, especially if the victims did not possess any magical power themselves. The shrapnel hurled after their detonation had been a contributing factor to many of the victims' deaths that had been reported to TSAB.
Fate had bared witness to those deaths in several pictures and documents during their numerous meetings and briefings yesterday. The images of mangled bodies began to invade her consciousness now. Her grip on Bardiche tightened to the point her knuckles turned white.
There had been children, more than she could bring herself to count. And with those images replaying in her mind, her vision suddenly flashed red and her mind turned white hot.
When the first three drones appeared in front of Fate, she set Bardiche and unleashed an 'Arc Saber' to destroy them. The blast she emitted surprised even her, sending her arm recoiling backwards with the force. The drones disintegrated instantly, as well as quite a few trees behind them. Fate's eyes grew wide as she assessed the huge crater that remained in her wake.
Teana's face immediately appeared beside her via Bardiche's communicator. "Hey, ease up Fate. This is practice, after all."
Fate nodded blankly and adjusted her grip. It wasn't the first time her partner had to remind her of limits. Two more drones suddenly appeared behind her. She spun around and shot them down, again using too much force in the process and blasting a giant hole in the ground like before. She gave a low growl in frustration and vowed to make sure her next blasts would be more controlled.
By the end of the simulation, Fate had reigned in her power and Subaru had made it to the designated hill to destroy her intended target. Teana's shooting had been spot on and she covered Subaru's back without fail. After the session was complete, the three returned so Hayate could go over the statistics with them. The two younger women took to their original spots on the field and promptly resumed avoiding all eye contact with each other.
Hayate called Fate to join her on the instructor platform again. "Well, that was interesting. In a way, I kind of wish that hadn't gone so well with Subaru. It would've made this decision a lot easier."
Fate nodded in agreement. "Um-hmm. It won't be the times we're fighting together that will be the issue. It will be difficult when we try to live together afterward."
"No kidding," Hayate sighed. "I would try to force the two to work it out but... I've been asked to hold off on that for now."
It took a moment for Fate to decipher what Hayate's statement meant exactly. Her eyes eventually turned towards the booth above them again. At that moment, Ginga had her chin cupped in her hand with her elbow resting on the console, thoughtfully observing the scene with Hayate below her. Fate recognized the stance all too well, having seen it countless times during interrogations of suspects in previous cases they worked together. Her ex-partner assumed that position when she knew she had the upper hand in a situation, and she was just waiting patiently for the other person's next move.
"Well, we should probably try a few more simulations -" Fate started to suggest, turning back towards the field again. Hayate was quick to put a firm hand on her shoulder to keep her from floating away too fast.
"Hold up there, Fate. After that second blast, I had Ginga place a higher limiter on Bardiche. Even with it you were hitting maximum each time. Would you like to discuss your excessive use of power against some practice drones?"
Fate looked down at Bardiche in confusion. She hadn't noticed that her power levels were been manipulated externally in that way. She thought she had been controlling her own strength the entire time.
"Oh..."
Hayate's features softened a bit. "I get it Fate. I do. These are some of the worst people we've ever gone after, but I can't have you letting your anger at them get the best of your judgment. You can't lose control like that."
"I'm sorry." The blond turned her eyes downward. "I... I guess I just have a lot on my mind right now."
"I don't doubt that, but the Council will be quick to pull even you off this mission if they sense you're having issues with your performance. It's that important. Now I can hide the limiter thing this one time, but when you come back tomorrow, I expect a flawless run. Okay?"
"Okay, Hayate."
The commander waved her hand to pull up her transmitter screen once more. Ginga's face soon appeared in front of her again. "That's all for today. We'll do more practice runs with Subaru tomorrow morning."
"You're the boss," she replied with a shrug. "I'll start shutting her down."
Fate turned away to transform out of her combat gear and back into her standard Enforcer uniform. She immediately put her sunglasses on again as soon as she could. Her headache had now moved to the back of her eyes and she needed some relief. It was definitely a stress headache, and Hayate's scolding did nothing to ease the tension she was experiencing.
"...will be quick to pull even you off this mission... issues with your performance..."
Crimson eyes suddenly grew wide as the words replayed in her mind. In Hayate's warning, she had just unknowingly given Fate a way out of the next mission. It was an unexpected chance to fix things after all, she realized. The only decision the Enforcer was left to make now was whether she would take the advantage of that opportunity or not.
oOOOo
Fate settled into the passenger seat and brought up Bardiche's screen with the wave of her hand. She selected Nanoha's device from her 'favorite contacts' list to send her a quick message - "Hey, I'm headed home now. See you in a few."
Teana pulled her small SUV onto the freeway and merged into the carpool lane. By the time the two had finished with their last meeting of the day, rush hour traffic had long been cleared up. Even though the candidate selection process with Subaru had been postponed until the following morning, there was still plenty the Enforcers needed to accomplish during the remainder of the workday. And when it became apparent that they would be pulling overtime that evening, Fate told Nanoha to head home without her so that she wouldn't be late in picking up Vivio from school.
Several of the Church's top researchers held lengthy conferences and seminars with very few breaks in between. The Enforcers learned more details about the planet they would be spending a majority of their time on, along with this new terrorist cell that was committing acts tantamount to genocide. They also learned more about the indigenous people who were being targeted for reasons not yet fully understood by the Bureau. The victims were very similar to humans on Earth, although their society was less advanced in many ways and they had very few mages originating from their ranks. They were 'easy targets', as one presenter had simply stated.
Teana and Fate rode together in silence towards her home, both exhausted and weighed down with their own personal burdens. Fate's head felt like it was spinning as she considered her options on a seemingly endless loop. She had spent a great deal of time that day learning about the terrorists and victims for a mission she was now considering abandoning. Teana seemed to be in no mood to talk either, and Fate knew she most likely had Subaru at the forefront of her mind. It was a turn of events that would rock anybody's world in her shoes.
It wasn't until Teana had pulled into Fate's driveway, and the blond was exiting the vehicle, did either break the silence. "Thanks for the ride tonight, Teana. I appreciate it."
"Hey wait, hang on on second," Teana said before Fate could shut the door. She leaned across the middle console to be able to see her better. "Whatever it is you're worried about, make sure you talk to Nanoha about it, okay? Don't try to take it on without her."
Fate paused, forced to wonder how much her intuitive partner sensed was on her mind. She eventually gave her a small smile. "Of course. See you tomorrow."
The porch light was already on in anticipation of Fate's arrival, even though it could barely be considered dusk outside. She figured Nanoha must have turned it on right as she got home to make sure she wouldn't forget it. She dropped her keys on the ground twice as she sifted through them in her attempt to unlock the front door. Her body felt drained, which in turn was making her clumsy. Teana pulled out of the driveway once she saw Fate open her front door. She waved goodbye through the windshield and began the short journey back to her own place for the evening.
Once Fate crossed the threshold into her home, some of her energy seemed to be restored. The house smelled of Nanoha's cooking, something Fate missed so very much when she was away. The food on the ship was a poor substitute since most of what was served was heated from a frozen state and lacked in flavor. She usually enjoyed the local cuisine even less on whichever foreign planet they were stationed on at the time. Advanced societies had very streamlined production processes to genetically modify their food. She always craved fresh fruits and vegetables and simple ingredients coming together to make the delicious dishes she was blessed with at home.
She made a stop at the kitchen first to look for her family. The room was currently unoccupied, but she did notice the casserole dish cooling on a potholder on the counter. It looked like vegetable lasagna, one of Vivio's favorite dishes. Their daughter must have asked for it specifically on their way home that evening.
She passed by the living room next and discovered it too was empty. She moved on to the hallway and found Vivio's door to be partially open. Through the crack, Fate spotted the spunky girl dancing to her favorite video game, her dirty blond hair swaying back and forth with giant neon pink headphones wrapped around her head. Fate chuckled lightly at the sight before stepping away to head further down the hallway.
Fate stopped outside their partially open bedroom door and heard sounds of Nanoha shuffling around inside. She silently opened the door and noticed her hard-shelled suitcase was sitting in the middle of their bed. Nanoha hadn't noticed Fate's arrival as she crossed the room with a few shirts in her hand. Fate leaned against the door frame and watched her work. Nanoha had removed her instructor jacket and necktie, leaving her in just an untucked white blouse, short blue skirt, and thigh-high white stockings.
"You're leaving me, Nanoha?" she joked.
Nanoha nearly jumped out of her skin at first. She rolled her eyes and gave Fate and exasperated look. "You scared me half to death, Fate-chan!"
"Wait, that's my stuff," Fate then said and pointed to the clothes in her hands. "I doubt they're going to fit you, but you can go ahead and take them if you want."
Nanoha finally laughed a little and placed the clothes beside the suitcase. "Stop teasing me. I know you always pack a couple nights before you leave. I thought I'd help you get started since you were running late tonight."
Fate nodded and pulled away from the doorway. She quietly shut the door behind her and walked towards the bed to join Nanoha in front of the suitcase. "Thank you. I guess we've done this so many times we could do it blindfolded, huh?"
"Um-hmm," Nanoha agreed and started carefully folding the shirts. "It's like being on autopilot almost."
"It feels a little different this time, though. Don't you think?"
The hands busy tending to the clothes slowed significantly. Nanoha eventually stopped and gripped the shirt tighter in hands. "Yes, it does," she finally admitted.
Fate reached forward and gently took the shirt away from her. Nanoha looked towards Fate tentatively, feeling both cautious and confused at the gesture. Sapphire steadily matched her crimson gaze, although Fate knew if she wanted a battle of wills, she was somewhat handicapped in the fight. Something heavy was beginning to brew between them. It felt like the atmosphere was charging, and all they needed was a spark to ignite everything completely.
Nanoha was first to look away. She turned her eyes to the shirt Fate had just taken away from her.
"You didn't want to pack that shirt this time?" she attempted to joke.
Fate placed the shirt down on the bed beside the suitcase. "I was hoping we could talk first."
"Um..." Nanoha at first replied in hesitation. Fate watched her eyes flicker towards the bedroom door, like she may be searching for a sudden escape. "What's to talk about?"
"About this morning."
Nanoha shrugged. "I had a bad dream. It was nothing."
"It didn't seem like nothing. You were crying a lot."
Those defiant eyes flashed and Fate immediately knew she had pushed too far. Nanoha moved past her and headed towards the bedroom door. "Look, dinner's ready, Fate-chan. Let's just go eat first and we can discuss this later."
Fate ran after her and grabbed her by the arm as gently as she could to stop her. Nanoha didn't make any attempts to try to get out of Fate's grasp, and instead just stood there and waited. She bit her lip and clenched her fists, an attempt to refrain from turning into the same bumbling mess she had become that morning in bed. She felt embarrassed by her actions. Weak. She was tired of always wanting to cry, and right now she was really hating the fact the tears were threatening to fall once again.
"I'm sorry, Nanoha," Fate tried. The apology was automatic, the guilt Fate was so accustomed to feeling was always the first emotion to make an appearance. She attempted to turn Nanoha to face her and the smaller woman obliged. Fate moved her hand up her arm, past her shoulder, and brushed her hand against her cheek. She placed the other on the opposite side as well, drawing her in closer.
"I'm sorry..." she repeated in a whisper. "I wasn't trying to hurt you. I just want to talk. I'm sorry."
Fate wrapped her arms around her, almost afraid to let her go. To have Nanoha pull away from her again. But she still did. Two hands eventually came to Fate's chest and pushed gently, enough to take back some of her space. Nanoha walked a few feet towards the bathroom before turning around again.
"I should be apologizing to you, actually," she then said. Her voice was cracking and she had to take a deep breath to try to calm herself down.
"Why?"
Nanoha shook her head, frustration at herself growing. "For breaking down this morning. I'm trying to be strong for you. I didn't want you to see me like that and start worrying. You don't need that right now."
Fate took a few steps forward. "I don't need that right now?" she repeated, confused. "But if I don't know what you're feeling, how can I help you?"
Nanoha gave a bitter smile, one that lasted just a second before it was gone."It doesn't work like that this time. You can't help me with this, Fate-chan,"
The words felt like a slap across the face, and Fate could feel herself visibly shaken by them. Nanoha groaned when she noticed her reaction to her statement. She shielded her eyes in frustration at the way the conversation was dissolving so quickly.
"Ugh, that didn't come out right," she then tried to say.
Fate merely looked to the floor and nodded. She had tried to practice this conversation in her mind throughout the day, but it wasn't turning out anything like she had expected. She was making it worse between them after all. "It's okay. I get it," she responded quietly.
A tense silence followed and Fate wasn't sure what to do next. A part of her wanted to tell Nanoha of the training session that day and of Hayate's warning afterward. She wanted to share that she had the potential to fix this situation between them. She just had to pull the trigger and let the chips fall where they may. Her instincts were screaming at her to stay quiet about it for now though. There was no way Nanoha was going to be receptive to the idea, no matter what argument Fate could attempt to make in the plan's defense.
Nanoha watched Fate's struggle from across the room, and the look on her face in that moment was heartbreaking. She crossed her arms across her chest guardedly and closed the remaining distance between them. She bent down to meet Fate's eyes and wouldn't move until she had accomplished her goal. When Fate finally brought her eyes up to meet hers, she noticed Nanoha's were red and glassy. She looked ready to break any second.
"Fate-chan..." she began, "there's no point in worrying about the things we can't change. Or for you feeling guilty because you have to go in a few days. All we should be doing right now is enjoying what time we have left together."
"Well yeah, but what if I could -" Fate started, but was cut off when Nanoha reached up to grab her by both lapels of her jacket. The sudden action was followed by Nanoha pushing up and into her, sealing her protests by capturing Fate's lips with her own. The blond froze momentarily until Nanoha pushed in harder against her, making it clear that the discussion was indeed over.
Fate soon returned in earnest herself, sliding her hands tightly around Nanoha's waist. She gently ran her tongue along Nanoha's bottom lip, hoping to deepen their connection. Nanoha drew in a breath and allowed her access, that fire now igniting between them that was already threatening to consuming the two completely.
Nanoha's hands moved in a rush to unbutton the Enforcer jacket in front of her. She grabbed the thick black material in her hands and pulled it off her shoulders in one hard motion. Fate wasted no time in getting the jacket off her body before she too was pushing back. Nanoha found herself backed up against the wall behind her. She wove her fingers into Fate's hair to draw her in further, to keep her as close as possible.
The moment was becoming more desperate as they both just wanted to feel each other, but there was too much cloth between them barring it. Fate hands moved fast and her desire to have the woman in front of her overcame her restraint, and Nanoha's blouse lost a few buttons in the the process.
The sound of the small pieces falling onto the floor seemed to cause Fate to falter slightly. She blinked twice, realizing she may have gone too far again. Nanoha's hands squeezed hard and drew her back in, fistfuls of blond hair now in her grasp. "No, don't do that..." she pleaded for her not to withdraw from this. "Stay with me."
Her words shot waves of desire through Fate once more. She moved her attention to Nanoha's neck and tasted the exposed skin of her collarbone. Her hand grasped her by the back of her neck and her fingers curled around the copper strands. Nanoha wanted Fate to understand her want for her. Her need for her. That she belonged to her in all ways and however she wanted, especially in that moment. She guided her right hand to the top of her inner thigh below her skirt.
"Please..." she begged. "Please, Fate...chan..."
Fate kept their lips close when she first touched her, feeling Nanoha's ragged breath against her own. And when Fate slid her hand under the soft white cloth and entered inside, Nanoha cried out softly. Fate covered her whimpers and a louder moan with her mouth when she moved her leg between Nanoha's for leverage, pinning her in place.
Nanoha gripped Fate's wrist, nearly digging her fingernails into the smooth skin as the pressure continued to build. She wasn't sure how it all happened so fast, but her mind was now solely focused on the physical bliss, finding herself melting into Fate's strong arms. Her warmth. The skillful movements inside her, pushing as deep as she could.
Fate took a sharp breath when she felt pulsing around her fingers. "Nano...ha..." she whispered desperately. The insecurities, the second-guessing, the feeling that she was abandoning the most important person to her were all gone with that sensation. In that moment, they were connected as one and everything was as it should be in their world.
She watched Nanoha's face tense, a silent cry as she balanced on the edge for a breathless moment. And when she fell, she took Fate with her. They moved and breathed in sync through it with their connected lips, gasps escaping briefly from between them before they reconnected again and again.
Nanoha and Fate both relieved their grips on each other when the waves fully passed, their movements much slower now. Recovering together. Fate felt Nanoha's hand move across her cheek, her eyes searching intently. Seeking understanding in Fate's and finding just what she was looking for. But what she didn't know, as the two exchanged soft kisses and gentle touches in the painless afterglow, was this was just one more factor in Fate's decision...
...and she wasn't about to let the moments they shared together like this go anytime soon.
A/N: Thank you again to everyone for your follows and thoughtful reviews! Zoro50 asked if my new life in the Navy inspired my writing in this story. The answer is absolutely. I joke with my wife that she is my muse now (she helped me break the writer's block I had been suffering from for over a year there. It's a real thing and it's awful). But a lot of the emotions I was attempting to convey in the last chapters with Nanoha were inspired by her and what she experiences as a Navy partner/wife. And this chapter, of course, is a reflection of some of my own personal struggles I dealt with before I left for boot camp at the beginning of the year.
That's it for now. The next few chapters will be pretty intense, so be ready for that. See you soon! ~Nissanity~