Guatemalan mariachi bands are some of the most eccentric people you're likely to meet. At seventeen thirty hours, Ebed was finding his way to the south side of town after a day of fantastic impersonations and splendid new people. Looking for Orin, Ebed's ear was caught by the sound of Latino music coming from around the corner. Sure enough, there were the local mariachis, trumpet, guitars and all. It took Ebed a moment of dancing like a hick to realize, Orin was on the guitar! Being the awesome guitarist that he is, Orin managed to use his Jedi mind tricks to get himself into a mariachi band! Going insane on the strings of someone else's guitar, he couldn't have been having more fun. (He couldn't have been making more money either. He got soooooo many tips from the locals. That's that hat he's always wearing is for.)
Ebed listened and danced with the locals (who realized he could dance as well as an elephant) for who knows how long. Then, as is his custom, Ebed tripped over something stupid like a pebble or something like that and landing smack into the dirt street. His awesome, eleven dollar, Wal-Mart pocket watch fell out onto the road. As he picked it up, he noticed, it was five to six! They were supposed to be all the way on the south side of town in five minutes!
"ORIN!" Ebed shouted as he seized his madly skilled partner by the arm. "Orin, we have to book it to the south side of the city in three minutes or we won't find the ever elusive Ewoks!"
Without hesitation Ebed threw the guitar to it owner (grabbed the hat full of tips, of course), threw Orin over his shoulders like a deer and ran with all his might until they reached the edge of the city.
"Are you sure this is the south side?" Orin asked.
"Of course I'm sure. I have my Taco Bell watch from the X-Games two years ago that has a compass on it. This is the place." Ebed replied.
Seemingly out of no where, our dynamic duo heard a very soft "Psssst". Looking around (and using their super awesome force senses) they saw Strider hiding behind a bush just outside the city waiting for them, about twenty feet away.
"Hey Strider, what are you doing in the bushes, buddy!" Orin and Ebed both exclaimed in a very loud voice.
"Shhhhh. Are you trying to get me killed?!" Strider whispered. "Just come with me and be quiet about it!"
Trying to as close to silent as they could, Ebed and Orin crept slowly on their tip toes holding up their Jedi robes like a lady from the 1700's. Just before they got to Strider, five ginormous battle droids surrounded them! And these were no ordinary droids! These were the droids left over from the Clone Wars that had been stolen and reprogrammed by the Russian mafia! (You can tell by the smiley face they have printed on their heads as a mark of ownership to the mafia.)
Blasters ready and guard shields up, the head droid said (in his computery type voice) "What do you know about Strider?"
"Nothing," Orin replied. "We just know that he wears a really awesome cloak that just rocks my sox off. That's it."
"Why were you calling to him? Where is he?" the droid repeated.
"And what concern is of he to you?" Ebed inquired. "Certainly he hasn't done anything truly worthy of capture. Tell why you're after him and we'll think about telling you where he is." (All the while Strider watched in the bushes, ready to flee at any moment.)
"That's none of your concern. All you need to know is that this Strider is an enemy of the Russian mafia and that we will find him at any cost." As the head droid said this, the smaller floating ball droid next to him whispered in his ear, or next to his head, you know what I'm talking about. Gosh! Apparently, these droids knew about the little incident of Ebed's mission last year to infiltrate the Russian mafia in Ukraine. Long story short, someone blew Ebed's cover and he ended up just chopping the whole ring into sushi right there in some alley way. They never really got over it. Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah.
"Are you Ebed-Melech?" the droid questioned.
"I am. Are you a three fingered sloth from the jungles of Colombia?" Ebed replied.
Slightly puzzled by the comment, the droid waited for a moment before saying "Your under arrest. Get on the ground. Both of you."
Knowing full well that "three fingered sloth from the jungles of Colombia" was code for "We're just going to slice all these silly little droids into next week, k?", Orin and Ebed jumped into action. Ebed took the left with a triple notoban, spin hook, gravity defying, droid slicing bound while Orin slaughtered the right with his mad quadruple back flip/720 back kick/droid stabbing endeavor. In a moment, everything mechanical was sizzling, shooting off sparks or sticking out of the ground like a fence post.
Slowly, and with much caution, Strider came out from behind the bushes and walked over to Ebed and Orin.
"You two can do that but can't find your way to the Ewok village?" he asked. "I thought you were doomed."
"No," Ebed responded, "we've dealt with the mafia before, we'll do it again. What'd you do to get them so upset anyway?"
"Well," Strider hesitated "I managed to steal about twenty thousand dollars worth of food and give it to the poor townspeople here. They didn't take kindly to it."
"Ahhhh, well that's ok. Ready to go?"
"I suppose. We're going to travel through the night so that we don't have to cross the one bridge while the trolls are awake. I'm not sure if we have to worry about it anymore, but we might as well start."
And off they went. Strider (still not sure why he had to lead two masterfully skilled Jedi through the jungle) and our two heroes, left on their way to the Ewok village. By this time Tuesday, they'd be killing off Grendel and triumphantly saving the Ewoks.