Chapter Four

James, however, was having a lot more fun than Lily who was forced to take a shower naked in James' body, since he actually liked the girl and had wanted to see her without clothes for quite some time. After choosing one of the most frilly and lacy panties and bra out of Lily's drawer full of sensible underwear and one of the most low-cut and tight shirts along with the shortest mini-skirt Lily's wardrobe could provide, James had jumped into the shower with a smile which was bigger than normal.

This is the best day ever, he grinned as he ran the water for the shower. He leaned over the sink to grab something, but by this, received a revelation that he could see Lily's breasts peeking out from the shirt he was wearing. He grinned even wider.

This gave him the idea to hold a strip tease, right in the bathroom for his benefit. Grinning, he began to peel off Lily's shirt slowly and seductively, leaning forward slightly. Poor Lily would've flinched and immediately have began to shout at James for using her body that way, but unfortunately, she wasn't exactly in her right body. Still stuck in James', taking that horrifying shower. Poor dear.

"Sexy," James grinned, finally pulling off the baggy pajama pants to reveal Lily's long, white legs. Without another thought, he jumped into the shower and only smiled a bit bigger when he realized he would be allowed to rub soap onto Lily's body. This was such a dream come true.

After his heavenly shower, James pulled on Lily's tight, black shirt along with short denim mini-skirt, also adding some boots to his ensemble after finding that heels were painful (How did girls wear these torture devices? he mused). When he put the black school robes on, James glanced in the mirror and found the reflection of Lily very appealing.

"What are you wearing?" Lily's mate, Mary McDonald, the one who had knocked on the door this morning, exclaimed, her eyebrows shooting up her forehead. James smiled innocently.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he answered sweetly as he slung the bag over his shoulder.

"Why are you dressed like a slag? Lily, you can't wear that for classes! The professors–"

"Well, gotta run!" he squealed, rushing out of the dormitories and to the common room to escape the nagging of the mates. Lecturing and nagging mates was one of his pet peeves.

He sat in one of the comfortable chairs, leaning back and glancing into the fire. This experience was turning out pretty well now, but what would happen later on? He couldn't live like this forever, could he? I mean, staring into the mirror every morning before taking a shower wouldn't be too bad, but there had to be a catch. James decided to sit and wait until Lily came out from the boys' dormitories so they could discuss the issue. I mean, something had to be done.

"Lily?"

Some bloke was calling for Lily. James wondered who it was and continued musing to himself, staring into the fire. Hell, the fire was so bright–

"Lily? Lily!"

Why wasn't Lily answering? It was rude to ignore a bloke calling like that, especially if he sounded so desperate to talk–

"Lily Evans!"

Wait, he was Lily. So- Oh. He was talking to him.

James looked up and found Remus, looking down at him with his eyebrows raised. He smiled faintly at his mate. "Hello, Remus," he greeted as Lily-ish as he could, if that was the word.

"Lily, what are you doing?" he hissed, glancing at her up and down, blushing slightly. "Didn't you say you were going to meet Professor McGonagall before breakfast?"

James raised his eyebrows. "I said that? When?"

"Last night."

"What were we doing last night?" James inquired suspiciously, wondering if Remus was secretly having an affair with Lily when he so knew that James liked her. I mean, he mentioned it practically every day. Hello, wouldn't you catch the hint?
"We were studying, don't you remember?" Remus stared at her seriously. James blushed at thinking that his mate would be kissing Lily in broom closets. That would never happen... He really should trust people more. "You said you didn't understand the Transfiguration extra credit problem so you were going to ask her this morning."

Think of a lie, James Potter! he told himself, scrunching up his nose. He definitely did not want to go and see McGonagall. It was far too early in the morning.

"Well, um, I understand it now?"

"Are you sure?"

James frowned. "Of course! I'm Lily Evans, aren't I? I understand practically everything and try to be perfect! Why are you doubting me?" he snapped. Remus looked surprised at the sudden outburst.

"Oh. Erm, sorry. You just seemed really confused yesterday and I was just reminding you, and–" He stopped and pushed away strands of his hair. "Never mind. I'm going down to breakfast. See you later then."

He waved a slight goodbye and glanced over at the entrance way of the boys' dormitories. Where was that girl? Wasn't ten million minutes enough to get ready? Did she have to take forever?

"Sirius, shut up," came his voice. James snapped to attention, glancing over at the door. Lily, er, or who looked like James Potter, began making her way down the stairs along with Sirius and Peter at her side. Sirius looked mischievous as ever and didn't seem to realize that he and Lily had switched bodies. Some mate, saying he could tell the difference immediately yesterday. What a liar.

"Um, James?" he called, waving her over. "Could I, er, talk to you?"

Lily glanced at him, eyes wide and nodded. "Yeah, sure." She turned to Sirius and Peter. "You two go ahead."

"Alright. Have fun," Sirius remarked in a not-too-subtle voice, grinning widely and winking over at the two of them. James saw Lily's jaw tighten (probably clenching her teeth) but she gave off a fake enthusiastic smile as she waved off the two. When they were finally out of the common room, she turned to him.

"Can you believe–" she began, but suddenly stopped, examining herself up and down. "What the hell did you do to me?"

James stared back, confused. "What do you mean? You look fabulous now that I dressed you up."

"No, I really don't," Lily answered dryly. She grabbed a clump of red hair which was turning frizzy and fast. "Did you even try to use my conditioner which keeps away frizz?"

"Which bottle was that in?" James asked dumbly, scratching his head. "Was that the weird pink gooey stuff? Or was it the odd green thing?"

Lily bit her lip and frowned. "And what are you wearing? That is not school appropriate!"

"But it's sexy," added James with a wink which Lily was getting tired of, and quick. "You should show more cleavage. You have the biggest–"

"No. Do not speak." Lily clenched her eyes shut, gritting her teeth. "I know you already took a shower and had probably more than an eyeful of my naked body, so do not speak."

James grinned widely, winking. "I suppose you enjoyed your shower as I did?"

"No, I did not."

"I bet you did. Did you see my big ones down there in its splendid–"

"Do not speak!" Lily shrieked, clamping her hands to her ears. She blushed when she found that they were attracting a lot of attention and slowly began to push James towards the portrait hole. "We'll talk outside."

"Whatever you want, love," James answered with a cheeky grin.

"Shut up, Potter," she snapped through her gritted teeth. "I hope Dumbledore realizes how much trauma I'm enduring right now. It's a miracle I'm enduring it."

James smiled, locking his arms with Lily's as they walked out of the portrait hole. The Fat Lady hooted at the sight and rushed away to her friend, Violet, to tell all she'd seen. "Potter with Evans! Quite a sight!" she would recall later.

"Can you let go?" Lily snapped, pulling off Potter's arms. James gave her a look.

"What's wrong with hooking arms? We're practically married now."

"What? We are not!"

James shrugged and ignored a portrait which began to scream when he hit it with his bag. "Well, we've seen each other naked, haven't we? Practically a married couple."

"Except married couples have had sex with each other," Lily pointed out, looking disgusted. "And we haven't."

"We can change that," James answered airily. "Here's a broom closet. Get in, Evans."

"Oh, ha ha. You're so bloody funny, Potter."

"Wasn't joking."

Lily suddenly stopped, whirling around to glare at James. Her jaws were clenched. "Let's get this straight here, Potter. I do not want to be associated with you. I don't want to know you. I don't want to be in your body. I don't even want to be in the same room you're in. In short words, I will never do anything with you in a broom closet, ever."

"Even when I'm the only male left on the planet?" James inquired, shrinking back slightly. "Even when we are the only hope of repopulating Earth?"

"If that ever happens, I'll consider it," she remarked sarcastically, snorting. James smirked and rubbed his hands together.

"I'll just kill off all the males of the world then," he plotted, looking like a maniac. Lily raised her eyebrows though, completely unfazed.

"Really, Potter?" she said coolly. "You'll even murder Dumbledore and your best mate Sirius?"

"No," James replied simply. "I'll only kill the males that you could potentially be attracted to."

Lily raised her eyebrows and grinned cheekily. "How do you know that I'm not attracted to Dumbledore or Sirius?"

James gasped, staring back at Lily with wide eyes. "Sirius? You would rather shag Sirius than me? Why? Didn't you see my splendid glory of manhood? Why wouldn't you want to shag someone with something big as that?" Lily looked quite sickened. "Besides, as I said, Dumbledore is gay. He probably wouldn't want to escape his homosexuality as far enough to implant his sperm into you so we could repopulate the planet."

"Oh my bloody ears!" Lily shrieked, shutting her eyes and shoving fingers into her ears. "You are the most disgusting- Ugh. Dumbledore with- Stop. This is a forbidden subject."

James merely shrugged, staring at her pointedly. "What? You were the one who suggested it."

"I was joking, Potter! Joking!"

"How did I know that?" he complained as he crossed his arms. "But you wouldn't really shag Sirius over me, would you?"

Lily, snorting at his insecurity, merely answered sarcastically, "I don't know, it's a tough choice. Maybe you have a more splendid manhood– not that I was comparing– but Sirius is pretty sexy without his shirt on."

"Merlin! You were staring at them were they were taking a shower!" James looked aghast at Lily's words. "You peeping tom! You took advantage of my body to fulfill your lustful mind!"

"Can you not shout?" Lily hissed, glancing about. The corridor was empty, but there were still the paintings to consider. Hopefully, everything they'd just been talking about wouldn't be fed to Violet, the gossiping portrait's, ears.

"Let's just get to business," Lily remarked hurriedly, ignoring the painting's groans and complaints.

"Yes, here's a broom closet," said James, opening the door to the closet. "Now just pretend the planet needs to be repopulated–"

"Potter!"

"Alright, alright," James sighed, rolling his eyes and shutting the door to the closet regretfully. "Talking about the switching bodies spell. Go on."

"We have to go talk to the Headmaster," Lily whispered, shrinking away from the portraits who were asking for "a little more drama! More fluff, sweetie!" What perverted portraits Hogwarts holds.

"Yes, definitely," nodded James with a grave expression. "And we also have to ask him about the re population of the planet, whether he would donate his–" Lily shot him a glare that would've wilted the freshest daisy. James grinned nervously. "We'll just ask about the switching bodies thing. Of course."

"Let's go to his office then."

– – – – –

"What do you mean you won't change us back?"

The two had made their way to the Headmaster's office without too much trouble (James almost broke his nose against the corridor floor when Lily tripped him in her anger) and was now pleading for the return of their own bodies. So far, it wasn't going too well.

"Miss Evans–"

"I'm James, professor," James answered bitterly, scowling. "You switched our bodies, remember?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "Yes, I quite remember. But I was not joking when giving you the choices yesterday. You will stay in each others' bodies until the next week to understand the reasons why each of you are so different from each other."

"I understand why we're so different," Lily replied, trying to compose herself. "Potter is merely a thick-headed, rude, vile creature. There is no reason why he's so stupid."

"Hey!" protested James, frowning unattractively. "At least I'm not a prude."

Lily pulled out her wand from her pocket, glowering dangerously. "You take that back, Potter–"

"Miss Evans, please return your wand to your pocket," Dumbledore remarked, still sounding irritatingly cheerful. "I do not want the house elves to labor for days, trying to get Mister Potter's blood off the carpet."

Sheepish, Lily returned her wand to her pocket, but still clenched her fists, occasionally glaring at James who was scowling, muttering about "stupid redheads". Funny thing, since he was the redhead in the scene.

"It's only a week," Professor Dumbledore said simply. "Just a week acting like each other. You'll surely learn very many things about each other."

"What if I don't want to know about Potter?" Lily grumbled, staring down at her much-too-large Potter feet. James merely shifted uncomfortably in the bra that was beginning to dig into his back painfully.

"You'll endure," the Headmaster answered with a smile. "You're dismissed, if you would like to leave for breakfast."

"Thank you, sir," mumbled James, rising from his chair and stomping over to the door. Dumbledore chuckled; it was strange, seeing a young lady stomping and slouching like a common man. So very amusing.

"Don't forget, you're not to admit to anyone that you have indeed switched bodies," called out the professor as a last remark. Lily stopped, whirling around.

"We're- We're not allowed to tell?" she mouthed, eyebrows high. "But I was going to say that I was really Lily and just live normally until the spell wore off..."

She trailed off, biting her lip. Dumbledore's blue eyes twinkled merrily.

"I suspected as much," he said kindly. "But that won't help you understand, Miss Evans. Now run along."

James turned and slammed open the door, his eyes livid. "Good day, professor," he snapped. "But at least I would be willing to donate my sperm to repopulate the Earth, unlike–"

"Goodbye professor!" Lily said hurriedly, pressing a hand to James' mouth. Luckily, she could overpower James, having the muscles and all. James merely struggled, his curses muffled under Lily's hand.

Dragging James and herself out the office, she slammed the door behind her, leaving a much surprised but amused Headmaster behind.

Author's Note: I, for one, agree with Lily. Speaking of Dumbledore's sperm is the most disgusting thing ever and it makes me want to find a paper bag immediately to hurl in.

Alright, for the little "Review and Get a Snippet of the Next Chapter" thing, I can't really carry it out if people won't give me their email addresses... Like, seriously. Say you connected me on DocX or give me the email address or no snippet for you. It's technically not my fault if you didn't get a snippet even if you reviewed and didn't provide a way of transferring documents. So don't blame me.

But if I didn't send it to you even if an email address or a connection on DocX was provided, then give me a prompt and I'll write an oneshot and dedicate it to you. Yes, so desireable. Just say the word.

So yes. That's all. Sorry it's a bit off the two week mark. My Google Calendar didn't notify me (stupid, worthless thing). Just for the record, an email is preferrable so if you can, just give me the email. Please.

Thanks for reading. Please leave a word.