I do not own Naruto nor any characters other than my OC Seishiro.

This plot is exclusively Yaoi despite the fact there is a female OC involved.

Hidan shut the bathroom door, sighing and drying his hair with a fresh towel. Kakuzu, that bastard, he began nagging about Hidan's water usage again. To avoid contact with the other, Hidan ponder where he would go instead of back to the room. Kakuzu in truth was upset more so today because Hidan almost caused him to lose another good bounty. Luckilly, Kakuzu dragged Hidan out of his circle before he could do any major damage to their opponent.

Both were in a sour mood.

"Jeez…Jashin-sama will strike that heathen with fucking lightning and fry his non-believing ass!" Hidan swore.

But where was he to-oh right. He hadn't settled the matter of his exploration the other day with that little gaki.

"Hmh…" he smirked, finally deciding where to go.

But first he headed down the hall to the kitchen to wet his parched throat. All the yelling between him and the miser on the way back from their mission caused it to almost go sore. And he couldn't pray with a sore throat. That would do.

Hidan turned into the arch that led to the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks at what he found.

The kid was there, reaching into one of the cupboards for a jar of cookies. When did that even get there? Hidan marched over.

"OI!" he yelled. "You, what are you doing?"

Seishiro dropped the jar, causing it to shatter and send the cookies all over the floor. Some pieces of glass remained on the floor. Seishiro stumbled back at the sound of impact, glass getting wedged into the soft flesh of his bare feet.

"What are you doing here, huh?" Hidan frowned, making a grab for the kid's oversized shirt.

Seishiro stumbled forward, his footsteps making the glass sink in deeper where they tore into his flesh. "Ukh-! H-Hidan-kun, that hurts! I-!"

Hidan twitched, "Kun? KUN? LEARN SOME RESPECT YOU LITTL-"

"Hidan!" Konan cried, marching over, the sound of glass crunching under her sandals causing her to look down, eyes widening in realization. "Seishiro-kun, your feet!"

Seishiro merely bit his lip and backed away, crunching on yet more glass shards. "S-sorry-…"

"Stop moving!" she commanded, making the boy freeze as he was. "Hidan! Go back to your room this instant-on second thought…" she said, her voice trying to remain calm but shaking madly as she sent a paper crane flying down the hall to the shared room, where Kakuzu rested. "This behavior is unacceptable."

Kakuzu came in soon after, sighing at the loss of a good nap, his eyes bore a mad glare filled with not only crankiness but a pure hatred-a side effect of being woken up so suddenly. And again, all because of the brat. Only this time, there were two he had to deal with.

Fuck. He hated being the oldest of the Akatsuki. He wasn't some fucking babysitter.

"HIDAN…" he snarled, entering the kitchen.

Hidan swallowed visibly. Normally, the younger man would be full of retort and retaliation, but this time, he could see the deadly fire and lack of restraint evident in Kakuzu's already dead eyes.

It didn't take him long to figure out exactly what had transpired, and his look grew even more deadly as he pieced together the situation.

"HIDAN…YOU WILL PICK THAT UP." Kakuzu said in a threatening tone. "EVERY LAST FUCKING PEICE OF GLASS."

Hidan frowned, twitching as he slowly began to kneel, gathering the pieces into the palm of his left hand, picking them up between his fingers with his right, never taking his eyes off the miser out of caution. Kakuzu had half a mind to force the other to down those very same shards just to watch him choke as they cut through his digestive system.

Konan approached the too-frightened-to-move child, cringing slightly, but unnoticeably when Seishiro merely followed her, the shards obviously almost completely imbedded into the underside of his feet.

"Kakuzu." She said.

The miser glanced over to the woman and the kid, who was now seated in one of the stools, feet dangling off the end, just a few centimeters off the dirt floor. He saw the blood-trail leading from where he had first stepped on the glass to where he sat now. The smell of blood couldn't help but get him slightly excited. Though it looked good when it was splattered messily over Hidan. He'd never say it though.

"Let me see." he said gruffly, coming over and kneeling, taking one of the boy's feet and lifting it to expose the wounds.

The entire foot was covered in shards. Almost not a single millimeter was spared. The sadistic older man couldn't help but smirk under his mask at such a nasty wound.

"Hurts." he said more as a matter-of-fact than asking.

The kid stayed quiet for a second before replying. "Not really."

Kakuzu frowned. "You're bluffing." He lifted his free hand to grip a rather large piece, yanking it out without warning, almost violently-but not enough for Konan to notice his true intention.

He wanted to see how far the kid could go without crying.

Kakuzu was a mean one. He liked to fight hard, fast, hit strong and precise. Time is money, time wasted was money wasted. But he could always take the time to savor those last final breaths, the moment the fear overtook the determination in his victims eyes, where their tears overflowed from the onslaught of pain. Dying was meant to be a slow, beautiful, tantalizing process. A feast for the eyes.

Which made it all the easier to enjoy the show when Hidan was the one to finish them off. One can't rush a perfectly cooked piece of steak; one can't rush a marvelous tear-filled, delicious death.

He liked killing Hidan too. Over and over. Watching the other squirm and cuss, until the pain was too much, and he simply fainted from it-or the sick pleasure he got from it. Masochist.

Either way, Kakuzu loved to inflict pain.

…but Seishiro gave him no reaction. Not a single whimper, a whine, a yelp, a flinch. Nothing. Not even a hitch of breath.

Kakuzu grew puzzled. Did the kid not even feel pain?

Another yank.

Still nothing.

"Can you get them out any faster?" Seishiro asked a little meekly. "I mean…if…if it's not too much trouble…"

Konan patted the child's head. "Don't worry. Kakuzu is good at this." she then returned her attention to Hidan. "And you, Hidan…"

While the lecture of the zealot began as he continued to clean the glass off the floor, Kakuzu finally felt a little more free to his own devices. He let his threads loose from the cuts in his arms, letting them grip at all the pieces with accuracy and speed, pulling them out all at once.

Finally, Seishiro bit his lip.

Kakuzu took notice. "Hurts."

"Tickles." he giggled a bit.

"…."

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed, but he inspected that the kid's feet were free from all shards available before he let them both down carefully. Whether or not the kid was bluffing, he was still a kid. Being dragged somewhere he didn't want to be and forced to interact with strange people-and Akatsuki was as strange as you could get for miles around-might have really fucked up with the kid's mind.

He couldn't just be a good liar.

"I can't stitch up loose flesh." Kakuzu said, standing. "It'll have to be bandaged. Hidan."

Hidan frowned, looking up from the dustbin in which he was just emptying the last of the glass into. "What?"

"You bandage his feet up." Kakuzu said, glare growing back to it's previous intensity. "It was your fault."

"I ain't no fucking babysitter!" Hidan shot back.

"Yeah." Kakuzu agreed. "You're a fucking spoiled brat who needs to be told his right from his left. Now go get the medical kit from the room."

Hidan grumbled, but knew the terrible things Kakuzu was capable of when he didn't do as he was told. He mumbled and cursed all the way down the hall and back, returning with the kit in his hands.

Kakuzu watched as he passed by, lightly nudging the other's head with his hand. "Good boy."

Hidan snapped, slapping the hand away. "I'm not some dog!"

"You do the wrapping." Kakuzu said.

Hidan stuttered in reply. "WH-WHAT?" He almost threw the kit on the floor in utter refusal, until Kakuzu looked at him, threads itching to punish and hurt beyond what Hidan could handle.

Hidan bit his lip and twitched, placing the kit on the floor beside the boy. "Be grateful to Jashin-sama I'm not in the mood to get messy and I have prayers to be clean for after this!"

Hidan, although resuming and annoyed, did a fair job of wrapping the other's feet, considering that Kakuzu was glaring down at him, pointing out every mistake that threatened to occur.

"Arigatou." Seishiro grinned.

Kakuzu folded his arms. "If that doesn't hurt, you shouldn't need any help walking."

"Ano, I was planning to go outside today." Seishiro replied. "Deidei-kun and Tobi-kun are coming back, and then we're going to go outside…I think."

"…Dei….dei-kun…." Kakuzu repeated.

Hidan frowned, standing. "AHHHH! YOU SEE!" he said, pointing an accusing finger at the other on the stool. "HE DOESNT RESPECT HIS SUPERIORS!"

"Like you do." Kakuzu replied.

"KAKUZU!"

"In any case, they wont be back until later today if their mission went well." Kakuzu said. "So go back to your room. I take it you're allowed out now."

Seishiro nodded in response.

"Don't mess anything up." Kakuzu said, a frown in his eyes.

"I won't." Seishiro said.

Hidan huffed and turned, walking out. "I have rituals and prayers to do, and I've wasted enough time with this bullshit!"

"Hidan." Kakuzu said in a stern tone, following him out. "You're not going to do them in the room, it becomes a fucking mess afterwards."

"You made me clean up one mess already, fuck you!" Hidan lashed back.

Kakuzu stopped and turned. "Don't walk too much, if Pein or Konan need you, you won't heal fast enough to fight."

"It's just glass." Seishiro said with a smile. "I can walk."

To prove his point, he stood and walked over to the door, stopping and picking out yet another shard that Hidan had missed out of his toe and putting it into the bin.

Kakuzu sighed and shook his head, approaching the other. "Here. Let me fix the bandages again. That idiot."

Just then, Deidara walked into the kitchen, free of his coat and an arm missing. "Oi, Kakuzu. Konan said you could help with this, hm-….Ah? Seishiro? What happened to your feet, hm?"

Tobi's bubbly voice, calling out for his senpai was already audible down the hallway.

Kakuzu began quietly undoing the bandages Hidan half-heartedly put over the kid's left foot, some blood from the fresh tear in the other's toe getting onto his hands as he did so. He paused, but just for a second, suspicions rising.

"I stepped on some glass." Seishiro said.

"HAH?" Deidara made a face. "How in the world did you manage to do that, hm."

"It's nothing." he smiled.

"The idiot managed to break glass all over the floor and this brat stepped in it." Kakuzu explained.

"What?" Deidara frowned deep.

Seishiro quickly interjected. "Actually, he didn't drop the glass. I did. He just scared me when he yelled for me. It's my fault, really."

"Jeez." Deidara sighed, shaking his head. "Be careful next time."

"You're the one to talk, brat." Kakuzu said, finishing with Seishiro and straightening himself. "Where's the arm you need reattaching, you careless half-wit?"

Deidara twitched and lowered his head at the comment; great, just when he thought he was replaced in that respect by Hidan. "It wasn't my fault, hm! You know what happened, hm!"

"Yeah, yeah." Kakuzu said, brushing it off. "Give me the arm."

Tobi popped in just in time, in his hands said arm that was blown apart at the elbow. "Senpaaaaiii~! Mitsuketaaaaaaa~!"

Kakuzu eyed it. "You'll need a new elbow."

Deidara groaned.