Roni crossed the small office, arms crossed, to stand by Nick's side in the desk chair. Nick's heart raced. He had been caught. "You leave me for weeks at a time and when you're finally home you'd rather jack off than have sex with me?" she practically shouted.

Nick hesitated with his response and her face seemed to grow redder. "You weren't here…," he managed. "It had been so long… I couldn't…" He could feel his face growing hot with embarrassment. She had caught him, but he didn't think she had seen the computer screen. He stood up, his erection fading and wrapped her stiff body in his arms. Roni finally gave in, returning the embrace.

"I just want to be your wife, Nick," she whispered. "And everything that comes with it."

Nick sighed. "Tonight, I want to take you out for a fabulous evening. Just the two of us."

*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*&*

Nick grunted in frustration, rolling off his wife. "I'm sorry," he whispered. She simply rolled over, leaving him to his thoughts and embarrassment. Nick lay next to her, wanting to wrap his arms around her and tell her it's not her fault. There's nothing she can do. His demons were far too large and Zak shaped. He wasn't quite sure what to say so he didn't say anything at all. Nick had no excuse other than the fact that he was tired. Anything else would have sounded ludicrous … and so not straight. Which he was… completely. He had been straight for all his life, why would it suddenly change now?

"Do you still love me?"

It was so quiet he barely caught it. He rolled over, wrapping her in his arms and clenching his eyes shut, not daring let the tears cascade out. "Of course I do. I don't know what's wrong. I'm sorry."

He heard a soft sob come from her as she sucked in a ragged breath. "Its ok, Nick."

Nick lay on his side, not facing his wife. He knew what the problem was, but it wasn't something that you can tell your wife that you're struggling with. That wasn't even a conversation he knew how to bring up. With him or her. After all… he didn't even know…

The next night found him three cities over. Nick stood outside the club, the music pounding in time with his rapid heartbeat. He knew he should have brought someone with him, just in case, but he wasn't ready for that yet. He wasn't ready to let someone in his head. Nick shoved his hands in his pockets and stepped forward. The bouncer asked for his ID. There didn't seem to be any recognition in the bouncer's eyes, no smirk showing on his face as his ID was handed back to him. The door opened, and Nick stepped through. The music immediately engulfed him and the beats reminded him of Zak. The neon lights flashed, disco balls spun on the ceiling. He felt eyes on him as he made his way to the bar. He hadn't decided on a plan once he made it through the door. The bartender smiled as he approached. "What's your pleasure, sexy?"

Nick returned his smile and ordered a beer. He couldn't help but smile to himself just a little. He felt like he was getting away with something, a dirty little secret maybe. "Where's your boyfriend tonight?" a voice asked next to him.

Nick took his beer as it was set in front of him, laying money down. "Don't have one," he answered. He turned towards the voice. A blond man stood next to him, smiling coyly.

"That's a shame." The stranger sat down next to him. "So what brings you here then?"

Nick shrugged and looked down at his beer. "Just never been."

The blond smiled. "You're new, aren't you?"

Nick blushed and gave a single nod. "Just trying to figure a few things out."

The stranger's smile widened. "How about I help you figure it out?"
Nick's blush deepened. "Oh, I don't think… That's not…"

"Reed." The blond stuck his hand out. "Why don't we just go to a quiet corner and talk, no pressure."

"Nick and sounds good." He took Reed's and shook it. Fingers tightened around his as Reed led them towards a seating area by the wall.

Nick sat down on the couch, eying the couple making out heavily next to him. Reed sat next to him, almost a little too close for comfort. His arm snaked around Nick's shoulders, pulling him closer. Mild panic turned to excitement. Hot breath grazed his ear. "Is this okay?" Reed breathed. Nick nodded, his hand tightening around his beer. He moved his other hand to Reed's leg. Soft lips grazed his cheek and his temperature rose. "Someone's getting more comfortable."

Nick licked his lips. The music in the club was drowned out by the heartbeat in his ears. Turning his head slightly to look at Reed, his lips were attacked. Reed's hand cupped his face as the shocked surprise left Nick, the kiss finally being returned. His body responded whole heartedly to the soft touch. Nick deepened the kiss, his body willing to go way farther than his mind. Reed's hand moved down to his chest, thumb rubbing circles over his hardening nipple.

Groaning into the kiss, Nick unconsciously spread his legs a little wider, his cock throbbing against the zipper of his jeans. All thought processes seemed to stop in his mind. The only thing that existed was this moment and he was going to live every minute of it. His entire body was on fire with the touch of this stranger… this other man… Nick felt the outer reaches of him mind attempt to fight with logic, but as Reed's hand sank lower, cupping his throbbing cock, those voices dimmed even more.

Reed broke the kiss and sank to his knees in front of Nick's spread legs. Seconds later, Nick's eyes rolled into the back of his head. Images of Zak flashed on the backs of his eyelids and he decided that he needed to talk to him… tonight.