A/N: Happy 4th!
I seriously have to thank everyone who's been following this story! I'm just so blown away! I know I say that every chapter, but you just can't imagine how touched I am every time!
So Quinn…. I know Sookie's been wishy washy about him. I'm writing it that way because, to me, she was that way with him. She clung on even though they didn't seem to have an actual relationship, but when directly asked by Bill and Eric (both!) what her feelings for him were…she had squat!
I think it's because she wants what he represents but not really him. I am clinging to the hope no woman, in this day and age, really prefers being renamed Babe and talked to like a possession (which he so does- he beats the Vamps on that one).
Sookie's gonna start moving away from him this chapter. But her head still needs to catch up with her heart.
Thanks as always to my Awesome beta Northman Maille, YOU ROCK THE HOUSE!
Disclaimer: I own nothing….
"There's No Chance for Us."
Sookie thought the night had turned out pretty typically for her. It started out one way, her bartending at the Bellefleur siblings double wedding, and ended another way, her in a just this side of too small, puffy dress, playing stand in bridesmaid.
Still, Sookie thought, standing in at a wedding was a lot better in the 'unexpected turn of events' category than being shot at, bombed, bitten, or chased after by a serial killer. She'd take a slightly too small, puffy dress over all that any day of the week and twice on Sundays.
As she stood at the alter watching Portia and Glen, and Halleigh and Andy, pledge to love each other till death did they part, she tried to feel genuine happiness for all four of them. They were starting out on the rest of their lives together and that was a beautiful thing. What she felt most though, unfortunately, was an insidious little green snake of envy.
She felt further away from having a moment like this than she ever had before. It stung a little that not a couple of weeks ago she'd been watching Russell Edgington and Bart Crowe vow the next century to each other and thinking maybe that might be her Quinn and one day.
Sookie hadn't heard hide nor hair of Quinn since she'd left Rhodes, no phone call …nothing. Part of her worried something might have happened to him. But the bigger part of her was just trying to avoid thinking about the possibility he'd simply changed his mind about a relationship with her.
Maybe in the end it had all been too much for him. Maybe once she was gone and he'd had time to think, Quinn had realized it was just more trouble than it was worth, trying to have something with a woman who was so closely and inextricably linked to a Vampire. If only he knew the half of it! Could she really blame him for running for the hills? And more to the point, did it really matter so much to her anymore?
As for the Vampire she was tied to…. Eric, she'd heard from. They were all safe and sound and whole once more and back to business. Bill was even here at the wedding tonight. Sitting with Selah Pumphrey, no hint he'd had an almost lethal sunburn a couple of weeks ago.
She was glad to hear it, really and truly. She would have been absolutely stricken at the thought of Pam and Bill's deaths and, even if she had been wanting to strangle Eric with a length of silver coated chicken wire for weeks now, she'd rather endure just about anything than that he no longer exist. The truth of that was yet another thing she was trying to avoid thinking too much about.
Still, happy as she was he was alive, it didn't change the fact she was angrier with him then she'd ever been with anyone before. She felt him every second of every night. He was there, just on the edges of her consciousness, as though he were peeking over her shoulder at her every move. It was more than a little unpleasant. Her head was already filled with so much constant babble; she didn't want Eric 'blah blah blahing' away in there too.
And the dreams…the dreams weren't going away either. In fact they were getting worse, more intense, longer and more detailed with each one. She'd even had another daytime vision.
Sookie had come out of it only to find herself frozen mid-step in the center of Merlotte's with a full tray of drinks and food still balanced on her shoulder. She was sure she looked more like crazy Sookie at that moment then she ever had before. And she'd rarely ever felt as humiliated as she had while everyone just stared at her, thinking how she'd finally gone off the deep end, and how they'd all been expecting it for years.
It wasn't until Sam came up to her and cautiously lifted the tray out of her hand that the fog had completely cleared. He'd tried to convince her to go home, but she'd told him she was okay, embarrassed as hell but okay.
Shewas okay, she told herself. She WAS! Having hallucinations in the middle of bars did not make her not okay!
Just like the dream/vision/delusion she'd had in the elevator in Rhodes this one had been too real. Unlike the one she'd had in Rhodes it had been heartbreaking and even thinking of it caused a lump in her throat….
"Skal!" The entire village seemed to cheer all at once as the clatter of clinking steins filled the hall. They were all here celebrating the return of the men who'd come back and honoring the lives of those who had not.
They'd been drinking for some time now, the sun having just begun to set and even though there was still an air of sadness hanging around the hall, it had lessened considerably. So much so some were even starting to dance.
Sookie felt a tug on her hand and looked down to see Eric's younger brother, Gunnar, pulling at her hand. He was a sweet boy, only five years old, the baby of his family. He was also the spare now. As Sookie let her young partner lead her out to the floor, her eyes wandered back to her fiancé. He was sitting next to his father at the head table, looking as though the weight of everything that happened hadn't been lightened from his shoulders in the least by all the alcohol.
Something was brewing in his head. Sookie could see it and it scared her.
The party had gone on late into the night, but Sookie had taken her leave just a few hours after sunset. It had all been too much, trying to be merry while she watched Eric choke on his grief. Trying to act cheerful when she knew he needed her and there was no way she could help him.
As hands roughly shook her shoulders, causing Sookie to snap awake, she was glad for the few hours of rest she'd decided to take. It was her mother. There was a sharp look of fear on her face as she wrenched the blankets and furs off Sookie, exposing her to the cool predawn air.
"It's Aude." Her mother said in a clipped tone. "She's gone into labor. It isn't going well, she's asking for you."
Not caring a wit what she looked like, or that she wasn't wearing much of anything, Sookie jumped out of bed. In nothing but her linen shift she ran for the door, barefoot, hair loose, her legs carrying her as fast as they could.
Aude wasn't due for at least another month at the earliest. If the baby was coming now it meant nothing but bad. It would most probably die. If they were very unlucky it would take her friend with it.
The sun hadn't fully risen yet, but Sookie had no problem finding her way through the mostly sleeping village to the house of Eric's family. Even if she had somehow lost her way, the sounds of screaming that came from the long wooden building where unmistakable and audible even from a distance.
Knocking, but not waiting for an answer she opened the door to find Sverri, Eric, Thorvalder, Eric's grandfather and several of the male servants all either sitting at the big table or pacing around the room. Gunnar was sitting on the floor at Eric's feet with his three elder sisters, all of them playing quietly with a set of wooden men and horses. The children seemed to be the only ones who didn't flinch every time an anguished scream broke from the curtained area at the other end of the house.
Sverri just nodded at her as she entered and the others seemed to pay her no attention at all as she scurried through the house making her way to Aude. It was only as she was about to pass through the curtain she saw Eric lift his head and pin her with a look of inexpressible guilt.
She wanted to comfort him. She wanted to go to him and throw her arms around him. She wanted to tell him over and over it wasn't his fault, until he finally believed her. But another scream from her friend brought her back to reality and to who it was that needed her the most at the moment.
Walking past the curtain she found the women of the house, free and servant alike, surrounding Aude as she walked around a small chair. She was holding her belly in both hands and biting her lip to point it was bleeding in several places.
Eric's mother, Asfrid, walked up to Sookie as she stood there frozen in place. Taking Sookie's hand she pulled her close and whispered in her ear.
"The child won't come. It's facing the wrong way and she's taking the pain in her back. It's been going on since last night. We came home and found her writhing on the floor."
Sookie winced, feeling terrible for her poor friend, and for Eric as well. She knew this was just one more thing to fuel his guilt. They'd all been off drinking and enjoying themselves while Aude had been here alone, in terrible pain, trying to keep her baby from leaving her body too soon.
At that moment Aude's labor pang seemed to pass and she noticed Sookie was there. She held out her hand, begging her friend with her eyes to come to her even as she collapsed, exhausted, into the chair. Sookie wasted no time and sat on the floor next to Aude, holding her hand tightly, as one of the servant women swabbed her forehead, cheeks and neck with a cool wet cloth.
Sookie noticed the midwife sitting by the cooking fire, mixing herbs into a pot. She hadn't been witness to many births before, just her two younger brothers really and both of those births had been relatively easy. Her mother was an expert at it after all these years it seemed, but she knew the midwife was preparing a draught to try to get the baby to come faster. If it didn't within a few hours there would likely be no hope for either of them.
Time seemed to pass in a haze after that. Aude took the medicine the mid-wife prepared but at first it didn't seem to help. Sookie had watched the looks of resignation crossing the faces of the women assembled. They were preparing themselves for what seemed inevitable now. Aude was in nearly constant agony but no matter how bad her pain was, no matter how much she screamed and sobbed, she would not give up. Her screams were more like the battle cries of warriors than anything else, and Sookie knew, even if it did kill her, she was determined to bring the child she and Sverri had made into the world alive.
Three hours after Sookie had first entered the 'room', something finally seemed to happen. The midwife pronounced Aude able to push and all the women had helped move her to the bed where she sat, Sookie at her back, Eric's mother and grandmother holding her legs and the servant women bustling about fetching clean cloths, taking away dirty ones, keeping hot and cold water on hand, and hoping for the best.
After everything she'd been through, Aude was beyond any exhaustion Sookie had ever seen, but each time she was bade to push she did with everything she had in her, squeezing Sookie's hand so hard at times she lost feeling there.
It took five hard pushes and it was done. The baby fell into the midwife's hand, Aude fell back on Sookie completely, crying silently and the midwife, Eric's mother and grandmother and a servant holding a small knife seemed to hover over the baby. The servant handed the midwife the knife. The midwife expertly cut the cord that still bound the child to its mother and then they all waited. The silence was more deafening than the screams had been.
Aude made an almost inaudible sound, but Sookie realized her friend wanted help sitting up. With all her might Sookie pushed Aude up and they watched as the midwife opened the baby's mouth with her pinky finger and cleared it of a bit of birth mucus. She then blew into the baby's mouth and, with less gentleness than Sookie would have imagined, tapped it on its bottom.
Suddenly a new cry erupted from the room. The baby was making its displeasure over such rough treatment known and, in that moment, it was as if every person in the entire house breathed a collective sigh of relief. The midwife handed the baby to Eric's mother who cleaned it with a warm, wet cloth and swaddled it tight. Then she handed the baby to Sookie.
Sookie only stared at her dumbly for a moment.
"Well go on girl take him. Let Aude lay back, she hasn't been able to do that in months, and rest for a moment. She still has work to do. You take the baby to the men."
Sookie just nodded her head and held out her arms. She knew, for Aude, the labor wouldn't be over for another push or two while she passed the afterbirth, but Sookie also knew the men would be wanting to see the child. They would want to know if it was healthy, if it had a chance of living.
Stepping out from behind the curtain, Sookie approached the large table where it seemed no one had moved much, except Gunnar was now napping in his Grandfather's arms. The girls seemed to have gone off to play outside, since Sookie was just now realizing it was late into the morning.
The men all rose as she moved towards Sverri and held the baby out to him.
"You have a grandson sir." She said.
Sverri only nodded, silent tears slipping down his cheeks at the sight of the squirming bundle.
"And my grandson's mother?" He said, his voice shaky as he took the baby from her and unswaddled it, checking to make sure it was well formed.
"They don't know yet." She answered quietly.
"He's a fine boy." Eric's father said, quickly becoming overwhelmed by the mix of grief and joy that was no doubt churning within him. He'd lost his son yesterday and today he'd gained a grandson. "Tell his mother I accept him and name him Sverri. Tell her the babe's father would be proud of them both!"
Sookie nodded her head, taking the baby back and retreating to the curtained birthing room. Aude had finally finished her labor and Sookie brought the baby to her.
Her friend clutched at him desperately. Moving the top of her linen shift and putting the baby to her breast without even trying to sit up. For all he was so tiny and so early, little Sverri latched onto his mother's breast with eager lips and began to suckle.
Out of the corner of her eye Sookie caught Asfrid smiling. It was a welcome sight. It meant the child had a good chance of surviving his unexpected early arrival into the world.
An hour later Sookie left the house and went back to her own. They were all waiting for her there, equally worried expressions painting their faces. Sookie spent only a moment or two recounting the harrowing birth before she retreated to her bed. She was thankful no one seemed to expect her to actually do anything else today.
Sookie couldn't tell how much later it was when she awoke with a start, but as her eyes popped open she was immediately aware of what it was that had woken her. Sitting at her family's table with her father and Grandfather and two of her brothers was Sverri. He had with him several intricately carved ivory boxes, and seemed to be talking sternly to her father.
It lasted only a moment more before they all seemed to sense she was awake and looked over at her.
Sverri took the opportunity to rise from the bench he'd been sitting on and head for the door, saying, without the need for words, that whatever they had been speaking about, the discussion was now over. Halfway through the door he turned back, a look of regret on his face.
"It has to be done. There is no other way." Then Eric's father was gone.
"What's going on?" She asked, her voice still rough with sleep.
At first her father and grandfather only looked at each other. Then, without warning, her father slapped at one of the ivory boxes, sending it crashing to the floor in pieces.
"This is payment to change the terms of your betrothal. Eric is to marry Aude in four weeks and you will marry Thorvalder afterwards." …
As the minister pronounced Portia and Glen, and Halleigh and Andy, man and wife, and man and wife, Sookie shook the morose vision off once more. Every time she thought of it, it caused her pain. It seemed she couldn't manage to manufacture a happy ending for her and Eric, even in her dreams.
The rest of the night passed in a blur. She'd been changing out of her borrowed dress only to have Bill confront her. It seemed almost finally dying had given him some courage and he'd told her in the most explicit terms that he wanted her back.
"I'd give anything to lie with you again." He'd said, sounding downright biblical.
It had left a sour taste in her mouth at the time, probably because the thought of ever 'knowing' Bill again wasn't in any way appealing to her anymore. But she'd also felt bad as she watched him walk away, telling him to go back to his girlfriend. Of course later she'd found out Bill had set Selah up to hear them, because apparently he was still too much a coward to tell her he no longer wanted to be with her. But at the time she'd felt some kind of empathy for Bill, if only because these dreams….these damn dreams wouldn't let her be.
There was someone she would give anything to 'lie' with again too, to lie with, to laugh with, to pass the time with. And knowing she needed to practice what she preached and go on back to her boyfriend, if she still had one, instead of to the person she wanted, didn't make it any less miserable to feel so torn.
She was just getting into her car trying to forget the whole 'Bill thing', hoping to stash it away with all the other stuff she wasn't giving serious thought too, when she sensed a void coming towards her fast.
Balling her fist around the keys in her hand, Sookie turned around as fast as she could, much faster than she would have normally, since Eric's blood was apparently eternally in her system now, and swung hard. Her fist connected with the Vampire's face and she watched him go down on his butt hard.
It was the Asian Vampire she'd seen at the wedding…Jonathan.
"I mean you no harm." He said, his voice nasal from his undoubtedly, if only momentarily, broken nose.