It's the middle of season 3 of Sonic X, and there has been disaster after disaster. Bad voice acting, bad characterization, and crowds of TailsXCosmo shippers kept spying on the filming and uploading the data to the Internet. Tails usually threatens them with his "new lithium plasmatronic gun", but they WON'T GO AWAY.
The pre-emptions also piled up.
KNUCKLES
We just got pre-empted in Philly for a World Series victory parade.
(Later…)
KNUCKLES
State of the Union address.
(Later still…)
KNUCKLES
Uwe Boll movie marathon. (8 hours of torture that was.)
The equipment kept failing in shot after shot after shot.
DIRECTOR
Chaotix in Space, scene 3, take 692. And…ACTION!
TAILS, KNUCKLES, CHRIS
Sonic-powered cannon, FIRE!
Sonic got fired out of the cannon, but instead of hitting the guy in the Dark Oak suit, he hit a catwalk high above the studio that was inconveniently placed above Cosmo. Part of the catwalk falls off and crushes her.
TAILS
Oh my god, they killed Cosmo!
SONIC
YOU BASTARDS!
(Writer's note: Sorry, Cosmo fans and TailsXCosmo shippers, I just love to watch her suffer.)
And the ratings were dropping faster than a Ford Pinto off the Grand Canyon.
(Director walks in with the weekly ratings.)
SONIC
Are those are ratings? Lemme see. (Flips through ratings book.) Oh for the love of f**k on a cracker. We lost to Telefutura channel 46!
TAILS
What the hell is that?
SONIC
Dunno…
4Kids security let me in to document the shooting of episode 77, Fearless Friend.
…Okay, they didn't LET me in, I had to sneak in.
…All right, I didn't sneak in or anything! I walked in while security was watching FOX NFL Sunday, okay?!
DIRECTOR
Fearless Friend, Final Scene, Take 37, action!
COSMO
Just shoot me with your hedgehog-powered cannon, and somehow Dark Oak will be destroyed, and my seeds will spread throughout the galaxy with no hope of ever being plant—Tails, why are you laughing?
TAILS
I'm just glad I don't have to do any of his stupid shit again! This is the last episode!
DIRECTOR
No it's not; we've got one more to go next week?
TAILS
WHAT?! But—all the loose ends are tied, and…the story comes to a close…why… (Is moved to tears)
COSMO
What's wrong? Just press the big red fucking button and end it all!
TAILS
I...I can't… (Because I want to walk off the job right now)
Dr. EGGMAN
What's the matter? Do you want her sacrifice to be pointless? And do you want the fans to bitch and complain about the ending?
TAILS
F…F—FIRE!!!
The cannon fires Sonic and Shadow, and FOR ONCE it actually hits its target and it explodes in a mess of seeds and light.
DIRECTOR
Cut! Excellent job, guys! Excellent! See ya next week!
SONIC
I can't wait!
DIRECTOR
Uh…but what are we gonna do about cry-boy here? (Points to Tails, who is still in the Torando, weeping)
SONIC
Just give him another vanilla iced donut with sprinkles…