First Rehearsal
Ms. Darbus: (slurring her words because she's drunk) HALLOOO EVERYONE!! LETZ GOO REHEERS ACK ONE SCEEEN ONE!
Zac: What's my motivation?
Chad: You're not even in this scene.
Vanessa: Zac, you forgot this at my apartment! (Throws him a sweatshirt with lipstick stains on it)
Zac: Thanks pumpkin!
Gabriella: OMG! You look just like me! (giggles)
Vanessa: Of course I do! I'm the slut version of you!
Gabriella: Hey, I'm just as big of a slut as you are! I took nude pictures!
Vanessa: So did I! And I have a sex tape with Zac! Beat that bitch.
Sharpay: Ew, Zanessa burns my eyes.
Chad: It does! AH! Someone scrub my corneas!
Ryan: (comes up with a towel) I'm scrubbing the retinas as fast as I can!
Chad: I said corneas stupid!
Ms. Darbus: (drinking out of a keg) ACTTKK OONE SKEEN ONE!!!!!!!! (Zeke, Ryan, and girl playing Mrs. Bolton go on stage)
Zeke: (playing Coach Bolton) Don't be afraid to shoot the outside J!
Ryan: (playing Troy) Like this? (tap dances his way to the basket, and misses, hitting zeke in the eye)
Zeke: OW! NOT THE OTHER EYE! NOW I HAVE TO GET 2 EYEPATCHES!
Kenny: CUT! Ryan, you shouldn't tap dance to the basket!
Ms. Darbus: EXUSEEEE ME HOO ARW YOO?
Kenny: I'm Kenny Ortega, director of HSM, HSM2, and the Cheetah Girls 2, and Ugly Betty! LOL JK about Ugly Betty...I'm also directing this musical!
Ms. Darbus: IAM DA DIRRECTER! JUSSST BECAWSE I HAWVE ISUES DOESSS NOT MEAN I CAN'T BE A DIRRRRECTER.
Kenny: Yeah, yeah. Tell it to Oprah. And ACTION!
Girl (playing Mrs. Bolton): Did we really come all the way down here to play basketball?
Ryan (playing Troy) and Zeke (playing Coach Bolton): No.
Girl (playing Mrs. Bolton): SO LET'S GO!
Miley: GNO!
Sharpay: When did Miley Cyrus get here?
Kenny: And...party scene!
Martha (playing Gabriella): (silently reading a book)
Girl (Playing Mrs. Montez): Whatcha reading? Lemme see! (grabs book, and looks at the title) The Atkins Diet? For the love of God, just get a tummy tuck!
Martha (playing Gabriella): I want to lose weight the healthy way!
Kirsty (appearing from a smoky glitter cloud again): Martha! I thought you called Jenny!
Chad: There she goes with the smoky glitter again! UGH!
Martha: I did call Jenny, and all they gave me were the fricking muffins!
Taylor: Do you know the muffin man who lives on Dreary Lane?
Ryan: I DO! HIS NAME IS GERARD!
Kirsty: Whatever luzzer. (turns into smoky glitter again)
Ms. Darbus: ANND ACKION!
Boy (playing the DJ): Let's get two other people on the stage! YOU!!!!!!!!! WITH THE JAZZ SHOES! (points to Ryan) and YOU!!!!!!!! WITH THE JELLY ROLLS! (points to Martha).
Martha (playing Gabriella): HEY! I'm trying to lose weight!
Boy (playing DJ): Like I care! Just sing!
Ryan (playing Troy): YOU GOTTA STRUT LIKE YA MEAN IT! FREE YA MIND!
Kenny: CUT! Ryan, wrong musical!
Ryan: We aren't doing Cheetah Girls 2? I so wanted to be Dorinda though!
Kelsi: DID ANY OF YOU BUY TCG? I DID!
Coach Bolton: SO DID I! SO BRING IT ON! (dances and trips on Ms. Darbus's keg)
Ms. Darbus: THATZ MYYL KEGGAG!
Troy (entering the auditorium): Sorry I'm late! I was getting some Starbucks! Does anybody want any?
Jason: I could go for a non-fat latte!
Troy: I'm not GOING that way! (trips on Coach Bolton, and splashes Ms. Darbus with a boiling chai latte)
Ms. Darbus: AHH! IT BURNS!
Coach Bolton: You're not wasted anymore!
Kenny: Okay, so let's start with "The Start of Something New". AND ACTION!
Ryan (playing Troy): Living in my own world, didn't understand, that anything could happen, when I take off my pants.
Martha (playing Gabriella): I never believed in, what I couldn't see. I never opened my thighs!
Ryan (playing Troy): OH!
Martha (playing Gabriella): To all my sexual abilities.
Both: I know, that something has changed, never felt this way! Let's get in bed tonight! Because it is...
Ryan (playing Troy): The end of our virginity! It feels so right!
Martha (playing Gabriella): To do it with you!
Ryan (playing Troy): OH!
Both: And now, that we used condoms! I feel in my heart!!!!!!!!! The end of our virginity!
Kenny: AND CUT! THAT WAS PERFECT!
Troy: QUE HORA ES! VERANO! NUESTRO VACCACIONES!
Kenny: Uh...why are you singing "What Time Is It?" in Spanish?
Troy: Cuz I felt like it. GOSH! (stomps off the stage)
Chad: Napoleon! Can I have some of your tots?
Sharpay: Vote for Pedro!
Gabriella: Pedro is a Mexi-can't.
Vanessa: I know. He is so fake, just like my tan.
Taylor: No Vanessa, your the Mexi-can't, Miss "I'm Philipino, Irish, Mexican, Indian, Native American, Chinese and Puerto Rican!"
Vanessa: Hey, I'm just trying to be diverse!
Taylor: If you wanna be diverse, go to a food court!
Vanessa: Why would I want to go to a food court, I'm anorexic!
Kenny: I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM! TOMORROW, DR. PHIL IS GONNA COME AND SORT OUT ALL YOUR PROBLEMS!
A/n: This is my least favorite chapter. Thank you for all the reviews! It makes me feel special! LOL JK. But they really do make me happy!