She sat alone, by her tent, staring at the fire. She hadn't spoken since they had left the small house in Denerim. Even now, there was still traces of blood on her armour, now dried by time and the heat of the flames. "Hey, you alright?"
"Sorry? Oh, yes, I'm fine, just sitting here thinking. Why do you ask?" Even as she answered, Leliana still stared at the fire, unmoving.
"You just seem distracted." Aedan brushed the log before he sat next to the Bard. "Do you want to talk about…her?"
"Who? Oh, Marjolaine. I don't know…." He strained to hear Leliana over the crackling fire, her voice low, pained.
"She was special to you, wasn't she?" the Warden could see his friend was on the verge of breaking down.
"Yes. After all these years, it hurts to realise that I never really knew her. Maybe I never really knew the real Marjolaine. Maybe I did, and I chose to ignore what I saw."
"Leliana, sometimes… people will surprise you. It doesn't matter how long we knew them or what they've done in the past, they will always do something to surprise us." His hands wrung each other, pushing back his own memories of betrayal. "But, let me know if there is anything I can do.""
"Your listening to me is enough. But sometimes I wonder if I did the right thing leaving the Chantry and Lothering. Maybe I should just stayed there."
Releasing his hands, Aedan looked at Leliana, nudging her with his arm. "You know that she would have come after you eventually."
"It doesn't matter Aedan, I thought it was safe in the Chantry, but my past still followed me there."The young woman rested her head into her hands, a quiet tear ran down her cheek.
"I thought you said that the Maker sent you a vision…."
"I know you don't believe my vision, I know what the others say about it, and what you think. I'm fooling myself believing the Maker wanted me to help."
"Leliana, don't give up on your faith, not now."
Her head shot up from her hands, her face flush with anger. "Ha! That's rich, you telling me not to give up my faith, Aedan, I know you don't believe in the Maker, and you're right not to. We're alone in this world, and we always will be…"
Aedan kept his voice low, letting the others around the camp sleep in peace. "And that's where you might be wrong. I was raised Andrastean, though you might call me lapsed now. Every Seventh day before I left home was a battle between myself and my mother to get me to the chapel before the services began. You know how if you look out at a congregation and there is always one child falling asleep, I was that one child. I never really understood how the Maker could create all this and just decide to abandon it, not once but twice. I might not have faith in the Maker, Leliana, but I have faith in other forces in this world." Her curiosity piqued, Leliana looked at the Warden as he spoke.
"I have faith in the fact that what I have done so far has been for the right reasons. I have faith in the fact that I will never back down when someone needs me. I have faith that I will always have a witty one liner ready for those who deserve it." The Bard giggled despite herself, Aedan smiling at the sound. "I thought you might like that one. But I also have faith in the people I travel with, like Alistair, Wynne, everyone else in camp, and you."
"But I feel like I'm slipping, all that we've done, hunting men down, killing Marjolaine, I know I shouldn't enjoy it, but I loved the thrill and the rush. I don't want to be like her."
Placing his hand on her shoulder, Aedan looked Leliana in the eye, a hint of a smile, just barely visible, on the edge of his lips. "You're not slipping, Leliana, you are simply remembering who you are."
"But what's to stop me from becoming just like Marjolaine?" A tear ran down her cheek at the horrifying thought of becoming like her mentor.
For a moment, Aedan said nothing, instead deep in thought, trying to think of an answer for her. "A choice. You have a choice, just like she did. Marjolaine chose to hide who she was, you can choose to hide in a Chantry, or to face the world head on. But remember Leliana, I'm your friend and you're not alone."
"Thank you Aedan, for talking to me, but I think I'd like to have time to myself."
Walking back to his tent, Aedan looked back at Leliana, and smiled as he saw the Bard placing her lute on her lap, tuning the strings. "Of course, but you know I'm here to talk if you need to. Goodnight Leliana."