I didn't really like my first upload of this chapter, so I decided to tweak it a little. :P
He wasn't sure what set her off, but Snow was definitely pissed off. He first noticed a couple of days ago, when Bigby brought her a coffee as he did every morning. She'd normally give a small smile and thank him when she'd glance up from her desk, but this time, she just ignored him. She didn't greet him, didn't respond to him calling her name or even accept the coffee, she just kept her eyes glued to the papers in front of her and answered a couple of phone calls. For him however what truly trumped him was her musk. He smelt the agitation and contempt rolling off her in waves and for the life of him, he had no idea why. If it was any other person, Bigby would've been annoyed to say the least but this wasn't any other person. This was Snow White and she clearly didn't want to see him. He ended up just leaving the coffee on the desk before silently fleeing the awkwardness with his tail in between his legs.
He thought that she had become a real Ice Queen before, but boy, did he learn that she could hold a grudge...if only she'd tell him what said grudge was about...
It went on like this constantly over the next few days. Every interaction with him was short and cold, at times she'd barely finished speaking to him when before was practically out the door. She would often leave a room when she noticed he was present, would catch another elevator when she noticed he occupied it, or just plain ignore him as though he wasn't there. What was worse was that she never looked him in the eye anymore.
Actually he decided what was worse was that she now never called him Bigby.
Just Mr Wolf and very curtly at that.
They seemed to be further apart now more than ever and Bigby wanted to find out why. Of course that was easier said than done when she always avoided him and refused to speak to him. Her interactions with everyone else; Flycatcher, Beauty, hell even Bluebeard had been polite and courteous and Bigby realised she was just mad at him for whatever reason.
And her musk... the way it smelt, it was like it wanted to strangle him itself which was a very terrifying concept to say the least. This was beyond anger, this was a pent up rage, just waiting to explode.
He thought he'd been on very good behaviour as far as the last few weeks were concerned. Hell the rest of Fabletown was starting to notice. Well he had enough. If he had done something wrong she could at least tell him what exactly that was. This was getting ridiculous.
A short whiff was all he needed to find out where she was. Just outside if hi sense of smell was anything to go by. Sure enough the gentle tapping of her heels against the floorboards were heard through the door. Taking one last drag from his cigarette, he swiftly dumped it in the ash tray before rushing out to catch up with snow. He heard the ding from the elevator just as he stepped out from his office. Lucky for him he was quick enough and managed to shove his hand in the crack of the elevator just as it closed. Snow was clearly not happy to see him; she stiffened, crossed her arms and looked over to the side. Avoiding eye contact. Ignoring him once again. He stepped inside. Well it was now or never.
"Snow, I-I wanted to talk to you." His voice was much softer than usual, though as always the natural gruffness seemed to permeate through the air. Damn, why was he so nervous?
"About what Mr Wolf, I'm very busy right now and don't have time for idle chit chat."
Mr Wolf. There it was again, no more Bigby… and the way her voice was so low… and how her musk was practically screaming at him… He took a deep breath before continuing.
"Snow you're mad at me, I just want to know why." He said that a little more confidently at least. But damn, trying to talk to Snow was more difficult than shaking off Bloody Mary's doppelgängers
She let out a low sigh. She still wasn't facing him.
"I'm not sure what you mean Mr Wolf." She stressed the 'Wolf' in that statement. Like she was letting him know that they were not friends.
He just stood there for a second dumbfounded for a moment.
"Snow please, just tell me what I did wrong." He was practically begging now.
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Snow-"
"Just leave me alone!" She spun around to face him, and he now noticed how close they, less than an arm's length.
He now had a clear look at her, the first in days. Her raven hair was still up in it's bun, her skin still white as snow, she still wore her blouse and skirt combo. All that was different was her face - she was scowling so hard he thought he could see a vein pop in her forehead and her once serene, crystal blue eyes were cold and spiteful.
He flinched at that. He never saw Snow like this in his entire life. What did he do? He could feel her breath now as she looked up into his eyes. They seemed so cold now, so distant.
She poked his chest. Pushing him back slightly.
"Can you just get it through your thick skull that I don't want to talk to you?!"
She poked again. He stepped further back and she advanced towards him like a predator stalking its prey.
"I don't want to see you!"
Poke. He was now against the wall.
"And quite frankly I don't even want you in this building!"
His eyes were wide open, his jaw slackened and his shoulders slumped at this revelation. He never felt so empty inside. What provoked this? He shook his head so slowly in disbelief it almost seemed he wasn't moving.
"Snow I-"
The elevator came to a stop with a ding and opened to reveal the last person Bigby wanted to deal with right now. Just bloody great, his patience was wearing thin already…
"Am I interrupting something?" A bemused voice.
Bluebeard.
"Get the next one." That wasn't a suggestion.
Bluebeard just gave his arrogant shit eating smirk. Oh so fucking typical of Bluebeard. His hands clenched into fists.
"Now Sheriff, don't you think-"
Oh that did it.
"GRRRRRWWWWL!"
Bluebeard stumbled backwards on himself wide eyed. It would've been more satisfying for Bigby had he not had more important things to worry about. The door closed with a click and the familiar sense of vertigo overtook him again.
His blood was really pumping now. He was frustrated, perplexed and downright confused. Why was Snow angry with him, why wouldn't she just tell him what was wrong?! It wasn't always like this…
Snow didn't seem so intimidated by his outburst however.
"For Christ sakes Snow! Please just tell me what's the matter! What did I do?!" He was this close to getting on his knees...
She just chuckled darkly to herself, turning herself so that her back faced him. He could see the back of her neck, could practically see the knots that had worked into her neck. That disarmed him; he immediately dropped his Big Bad Wolf persona, that chuckle scaring him more than Bloody Mary ever could.
"Snow?"
"Just answer me this – do I disgust you?"
What? He sure as hell wasn't expecting that.
"Snow what are you-"
"Just answer the damn question!" Her fists were now clenched at her sides.
"Snow, where is this coming from?"
"Don't play stupid with me! I heard everything you said!"
Heard everything he said? What the hell was she – oh no…
"I went to find you the other day, you weren't in your damn office!"
Realisation dawned on Bigby.
"So I had to use the mirror to find you!"
No, no, please no…
"I heard everything with your little conversation with Greenleaf!"
He pinched the bridge of his nose with his forefinger and thumb as he shook his head in disbelief.
"The way I smell makes you want to tear people apart and it's a wolf thing?!"
"Snow please, you don't understand-"
"Oh I understand perfectly! You despise me! All these years I thought you were my friend but the entire time you were just-"
She stopped there, fuming over everything.
"Snow, no that's not-, please I'm begging you don't make me do this-"
"Why not!? You hate me don't you? All this time and you've hated me! That's why you can't stand the way I smell!"
"NO! God no! It's because I love you dammit!" He roared at her.
Everything froze for Snow, her blood, her anger, time. Her fists slowly unclenched, her eyes widened, her mouth agape. She looked over her shoulder. She saw his pleading amber eyes, the utterly defeated expression written all over his face. Love? She couldn't exactly remember why she was mad... how does anyone react after having a bomb like that dropped on them? She mustn't have heard him right.
What seemed like hours but were only seconds passed before she spoke again.
"...Bigby?" She was lost for words.
He looked at the floor and puffed. When he spoke, it was barely a whisper.
"From the moment I've met you, you've been the one person I can't ignore. I smoke like a Bristol chimney just so that I can tolerate living in the city, so that I don't go crazy from a sensory overload. But it doesn't matter what I do or where I go, you're always there."
He kept pouring everything out. His arms were slack at his sides and he hunched over.
"Your scent is the most beautiful thing I've ever smelt Snow. I can always smell it no matter what. Your musk - I can tell when your happy which is rare, when your jealous and when your lonely, which is most of the time. But ultimately all it does is remind me of everything I can't have."
She never knew… all this time he had loved her and never said anything because he was afraid she would reject him utterly and completely?
"Bigby I don't underst… why didn't you just tell me?"
Amber eyes met crystal blue.
"I don't act impulsively Snow. You should know that by now."
His gaze sent a silent shudder down her spine.
"I've wanted you more than anything or anyone. But I'm not a moron, no matter what other people might say. I know that the Big Bad Wolf-" he spat out "-never had a shot with you. I may look human now, but I'm still just a wild animal inside. After everything that's happened, with the Crooked Man, with Crane..."
A wave of nausea passed over her as she thought about the former Deputy Mayor. Was he afraid that she'd compare his affection to Crane's perversion?
"…I knew that if you ever found how I felt, you would never be able to look at me the same way again."
He was. All this time, she thought she disgusted him, when he was afraid that if she found out…he thought I'd be like the Crane incident with Lily… But he was nothing like Crane!
But here he was on the verge of tears as he poured out all his fears and insecurities thinking he was some kind of monster!
He looked at the ground again - ashamed.
"Do you know what it's like, loving someone for so long and knowing that they would never love you back?"
She felt her heart break. She never saw this side of Bigby before. He was always so stoic, so strong and here he was breaking down in front of her. Because of her. Tears threatened to pour down her face.
"I wanted that spell from Greenleaf because everyday I get a whiff of you and I know that this is the closest I'd ever get to you."
Oh Bigby...
"I wanted to be discreet, I never wanted you to find out, but now…"
He was...ashamed? He thought she'd mock him if she...
But he had really loved her? For three centuries…
That couldn't be right, he had buried these feelings for her for that long and she hadn't noticed. He was always fond of her, she knew that, but she didn't realise to that extent. She thought they were just friends, and everyone knew Bigby didn't have many friends. She stared at the ground in front of her, matching his posture, her mouth just hanging open as she processed all this. All she felt was immense guilt.
But all Bigby saw was rejection, disgust.
The damn elevator chimed once again.
"I'm just a stray dog who forgot his rightful place – the kennel." He all but whispered. He turned his face away.
Snow could only stand there and watch him let out a slow breath before storming off as the elevator opened. Tears poured down her cheeks as remembered all those horrible things she had said to him. All those horrible things he had said about himself, she just practically confirmed… Oh God she had to be the worst person alive.
"Bigby…"