All characters belong to Stepheine Meyer

I made my way downstairs after I changed pulling my hair back in a ponytail. I heard laughing from the porch and froze as I saw who it was. Tanya and Edward were standing close together talking. She had her hand resting on his arm. There was nothing terribly wrong with the encounter. But the way she looked at him and touched him…it was so…so…intimate. I stared wide-eyed at them for a few minutes, as my breathing grew more rapid. I was so confused. Suddenly Edward turned his head in my direction and the smile I loved the most spread across his face. I smiled meekly in return commanding my legs to move forward.

As I approached I watched as Tanya let her hand slide slowly down his arm before pulling away. As soon as I was in reach he grabbed for me and pulled me close.

"Are you ready?" He asked cheerfully.

I looked up at him and nodded. The feelings coursing through me I knew were irrational, but I couldn't help what I was feeling at the moment. I felt betrayed, angry, hurt, and jealous. What had been happening? Why had she touched him that way? Why had he allowed it? What was their history?

"Tanya's going to join us." He stated as we walked down the porch with his arm around me.

I smiled hesitantly at her as we took off running. As we entered the woods I reached for his hand and held it tightly not wanting him to leave my sight. I breathed in all the different smells trying to calm myself as we raced through the trees. Soon we were miles away from the house. My mind turned to more primitive needs as the smells of the forest assaulted my senses. I caught the scent of a bear to my right and took off on the hunt. Within minutes he was mine. I quickly finished him off relieved that the fire in my throat had been satisfied for now.

I got up looking for Edward, but did not find him. He must have found his own game I reasoned as I took off in search of him. I found him a few feet away finishing up his own kill and smiled. There were four dead caribou next to him. He must have been thirsty. Just then a strawberry blonde head shot up from one of the animals and I gasped. There was Tanya feasting beside him. An unreasonable pang of jealousy shot through me and I quickly shook my head dismissing it. There was nothing wrong with this picture. How many times before had I seen him feasting with others? I, myself, would hunt with Emmett occasionally. I was being childish and stupid. Tanya was a friend, had been a very good friend to us all. I pushed my feelings away as I walked to his side.

I reached put for his hand helping him to his feet. "Ready?"

"Let's go." He said as he leaned down kissing me softly on the lips.

I turned and smiled warmly at Tanya. "Are you coming?"

"I think I might stay and catch a few more. You two go on ahead." She insisted before she took off running in the other direction.

"So," he purred in my ear, "where were we before you had to change to hunt?"

I slipped playfully out of his clutches laughing as I turned to run. He caught up to me quickly eyeing me hungrily.

Edward and I quickly made our way home and raced up to our room. The instant the door was shut his lips were on mine. Slowly I walked him backwards towards the bed as my hands ran freely over his chest. The back of his legs hit the bed and I pulled away smirking, pushing him roughly back onto the bed. His hands caught me as he was falling back pulling me on top of him. I sat up straddling his hips as my hands reached down pulling the hem of his shirt up ever so slowly. Leaning down I placed soft wet kisses along the muscles in his abdomen. Slowly I ran circles with my tongue around his belly button causing him to arch his back in response. I enjoyed the feel of his skin against mine, as I pushed his shirt higher and higher. He lifted his upper body minutely allowing me to lift his shirt over his head. My lips found his the instant his shirt was off, and I threw it carelessly across the room. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip demanding entrance and he readily complied. His hands ran down the sides of my body resting at my hips as he pulled me harder against him. We moaned together at the sensation. Before I knew what was happening he flipped me over. My arms were held with one hand over my head as he explored my neck with his lips. I hissed as I felt his other hand run under my shirt and between my breasts. His lips returned to mine and he kissed me roughly and deeply. I managed to wiggle one hand free running it along his spine teasing softly.

He pulled me up so that I was sitting on his lap. I wrapped my legs around him pulling myself close to him. I ran kisses along his jaw pausing briefly at his ear as I nibbled and sucked my way back to his neck. I felt his hands run under my shirt and begin to lift it up. I pulled back slightly raising my arms as my shirt was lifted from my body. He stared at me for a while taking me in, his hands never ceasing as they roamed freely across my back and abdomen. I leaned into him kissing his shoulder and running my hands along his back. I began rocking ever so gently in his lap causing him to tense. I heard him whisper my name as he moaned softly capturing my face with his hands as he kissed me deeply. We had never gone this far before, but I was ready. I wanted this. I wanted him, needed him more than anything. I gradually trailed my fingers down his chest resting on the band of his jeans. I ran my fingers beneath the band slowly back and forth as my rocking continued. I head him hiss in my ear as he kissed me at the hollow there. I began to un-button his pants reaching for the zipper.

Suddenly I felt myself alone on the bed. I looked up in surprise to find Edward on the other side of the room with his head down. I stared at him with a hurt expression on my face not understanding what I had done wrong.

"I-I'm sorry." I whispered as the minutes passed.

He breathed in deeply exhaling slowly as he shook his head slowly back and forth. I felt exposed and reached for the blankets pulling them up around me as he walked slowly back towards the bed.

He sat down on the far edge still not meeting my gaze with his back to me. "Bella." His voice sounded strained, and rough.

I was tense frozen in place as I waited for him to continue.

"I thought you wanted to wait." He asked after a few more minutes had passed.

"I changed my mind. I'm ready now." I whispered. I wasn't sure what I was feeling as I sat there staring at his back. It was an emotion I could not readily identify. I felt like crying, and yelling at him all at the same time.

"Do you think that's really wise?" He questioned roughly.

I sat up straighter squaring my shoulders feeling hurt. I got up swiftly and raced to the bathroom shutting the door behind me. I slid down the door rolling into a ball on the floor as I began to cry tearlessly as quietly as I could. Rejection washed through me as I lay staring at the tub in front of me.

There was a soft knock on the door but I ignored it.

"Bella." He voice was soft and repentant as he knocked again from the other side.

"What?' I asked barely above a whisper afraid to talk louder for fear my voice might crack.

"Let me in please?" He pleaded. He sounded so sad, and my heart broke knowing I had caused him this pain.

I got up and made my way to the tub turning on the water. "I want to take a bath." I lied. "I got dirty from the hunt. I'm fine really." I tried to assure him.

"Please?" I heard him ask again.

I didn't answer as I watched the water twirl around in the tub. After a long time I heard him sigh in defeat and leave the room. I shut the water off and stared down at it allowing my fingers to run through the warm water making small ripples.

I dropped my head in my hands in frustration. What was wrong with me? I knew he wasn't truly rejecting me. He was only trying to make me happy, and do what I wanted. Why did I have to feel this way? Why did I have to feel so absurdly hurt? I growled in frustration as I let the water drain from the tub. I needed to talk to him.

I sighed as I opened the door. I looked around expecting to find him there waiting for me, but he wasn't anywhere. I grabbed my shirt from where Edward had flung it earlier and went downstairs in search for him. I stopped near the library where I head soft voices. I listened closer realizing they belonged to Tanya and Edward. They were alone again. I hesitantly made my way to the doorway and peeked inside. There I found them sitting close together on a couch lost in conversation. They looked so close…so friendly…a little too friendly. My breathing hitched as I watched her reach out and run her fingers through his hair as she tried to tame his wild mane, Edward laughing in return. What the hell was going on?!

I slowly backed away as my breathing grew more rapid. My eyes locked with Edward's as he turned to see who was at the door, the naked hurt and confusion plain on my face. I shook my head slowly back and forth as I continued to back away.

"Bella." I heard him call almost in relief as I turned away. Without really thinking about it I started to run not bothering to look back.

Once I was sure no one had followed me I stopped running falling to the ground. Great sobs wracked my body as I began to process what had happened. What was he thinking allowing her to touch him like that? Is that what he wanted? She was tall blonde and beautiful, more beautiful than me for sure. She defiantly looked better next to him than I did. There had to be something I was missing, but what?

I sat up as my sobbing ceased trying to concentrate. I wracked my brain trying to remember anything I had been told, was there anything I had over looked? Tanya had always been distant around me, but I never really thought much of it. I had always assumed that was just the way she was around people she didn't know, but was it? She was friendly enough to everyone else. She always seemed to be staring at Edward whenever he was around, always dismissing herself from the room if he was anywhere near me as if it bothered her somehow. The looks she gave him were more than just friendly-she looked at him…longingly…like a lover would look at their mate.

I growled loudly in frustration clenching my hands into fists. How had I missed it before? How had I over looked so much? Did she love him? Had he once shared affections with her? I angrily reached out to a tree uprooting it and slamming it into a nearby boulder smashing it into pieces. Fear gripped me as the prospect of losing Edward once again hit me. The hole that had been healed began to burn around the edges as I imagined my life without him. I fell to my knees closing my eyes as I dropped my head in my hands. Maybe this is why he had refused me. Was he trying to let me down easy?

I snapped my head up as I heard someone approach. There before me stood a very cautious looking Edward. I glared at him menacingly too hurt to speak.

"Bella. Please let me explain." He began as he slowly made his way to my side.

"There's nothing to explain." I spat out as I got to my feet.

He sighed, "Please just hear me out."

I growled warningly at him as he continued to walk closer to me. "If I were you I'd stop right there."

He froze where he was pleading with his eyes for me to just listen, but I felt too betrayed and had questions of my own that needed answering.

"What's going on Edward, with you and Tanya?" I clarified.

His eyes widened in disbelief. "Nothing." He said quickly.

I scoffed as I instantly felt he was not telling the truth. "Have you forgotten that I can tell when you are lying?"

He dropped his head running a hand through his hair.

"I don't know if Tanya would appreciate you messing up your hair after she fixed it for you." I infused as much venom as I could into her name as he looked up at me frozen in place.

I waited patiently for him to answer folding my arms across my chest staring him down.

"I'm sorry." He whispered his eyes burning with sincerity. "When we lived here before moving to Forks Tanya expressed some interest in me, but I declined." He hurriedly added. "I only saw her as a friend. As I do now." He stressed.

I rolled my eyes. "Friends don't act the way you two do, not unless there is something there." I said looking away not wanting him to see the hurt on my face.

"There is nothing there." He stated firmly. "I love you. I have only loved you, and will only love you. Forever."

I wanted to believe him so badly, but I was having a hard time. "Earlier?" I whispered trying to keep the pain from my voice.

He was at my side then crushing me to his chest. "Oh Bella. Know that I want you too! I was just trying to keep you from doing something you would regret later on. I want to be with you more than anything, just you." He confirmed pulling me back to look in my eyes.

"Really?" I said softly knowing he was telling the truth and trying to allow myself to absorb all he was telling me.

"Of course, you silly girl. You are unbelievably tempting. You don't know how it tortures me having you so close, yet not close enough."

I smiled weakly feeling better, but still unsure.

"Please know that I love you above all else. I am so sorry for hurting you. I never meant any harm. Tanya was merely trying to cheer me up tonight."

"Ok."

"Do you forgive me?"

I nodded my head watching as a smile spread across his face. "Let's go back." He suggested leaning down to kiss me gently on the lips.

I allowed him to take my hand as we walked back to the house in silence. I had forgiven him, but still felt uneasy. Something still did not fit, and it was eating at me as I tried to figure it out.