~Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight and no copyright infringement is intended~
Hello everyone! I just wanted to thank everyone for their support and reviews to this story. You are all beyond sweet and there has not been a word created to describe how magnificent you all are. Thank you to my followers and favourites too and anyone who is reading this! You are all shining stars. Anyhoo, here is the next chapter, I've written little replies to each for my reviewers at then end. I hope you enjoy! Happy Reading! :)
I ran – each thump of my feet against the gym floor mimicking my heartbeat. I kept my breathing steady, calm as I ran nimbly with the other students around the rectangle shape of the gymnasium. I had always loved running, loved its freeing nature as my blood sang and danced within me. Peaking over my shoulder, a small smile sprinted across my lips as I checked on Josie and Otto. With their heads bobbling and hair sticking to their faces like a second skin I could tell they were not runners. Capturing Otto's eyes, I cheekily peeked my tongue through my smiling teeth before turning back to the front. A deep breath of warm, sweaty air whistled down my throat in a tranquil gesture and I couldn't help but close my eyes and listen to the rhythmic beats of hearts, feet and gasping breaths. My lips parted and tilted upwards as I relished its song, the way my blood bubbled and fizzed within me as I ran, ran behind the two Cullen brothers of Emmett and Jasper. Opening my eyes, I narrowed them in an agitated envy at the lack of sweat that lingered on their grey shirts.
It was only when the coach blew the whistle that I collided into the backs of the two brothers – my small hands pressing against their dry grey shirts as I balanced myself. Quickly apologising, I hastily made my way to my friends with a light skip in my step as I whipped my trickling, dribbly sweat from my face. Both of their faces were stained red and their mouths hung open in a desperate attempt to gobble up as much oxygen as their lungs could carry. I placed a gentle hand on Josie's back, tilting my head upwards to capture her eyes.
"Hello you, gentle with the breathing yea? The air isn't going anywhere anytime soon, the air lords told me so!' I told her softly with a peppy nervousness as her breathing hiccupped and stuttered in rapid bursts.
"I-I…"
"It's alright, deep and slow." I took her hand in mine, giving it a tight squeeze as my eyes were gentle and wide. "Hey you," I breathed, my peppiness diluted with anxiousness at her breathing. "It's all over, running time is finished and your feet can take a wee nap – a footsie nap." Her parted, wet lips twitched into a smile.
"A footsie nap?" She asked lightly.
"You bet ya!" I replied and turned to Otto who was now sprawled across the floor with his eyes gazing at the ceiling – glazed with exhaustion. Giving Josie's hand one final squeeze, I swiftly deflated to my knees, curling them up to my chest as I balanced on my toes.
"Running make you do a collapsie?' I popped, tapping his nose that glistened with sweat.
"Who me?" He breathed with a comical shock as he placed his hand on his chest. "Oh no, this…this is just me giving everyone else in the class a chance to recover. Me…I'm…I'm fine." Looking up at my amused gleefulness, he turned to sit on his knees. "I'm dandy."
Tilting my head to the side as I opened my mouth with a smile, "would you like hand up solider?"
"Yes please." The quickness in his response made my heart bounce as I popped up to a standing position and held both of my hands towards him. Grasping mine, he tugged on them as I leaned back to help pull him back. But with his weight against my own, I took a few clumsy steps forward and bumped into his chest as he rose.
"Ooop!" The noise slipped ungracefully from my mouth at my stumble. "There you are," I continued after releasing his hands and straightening myself. "Guess it's volleyball time, I suppose now it's time for you to see one of my many weaknesses." A pink tinge of embarrassment flushed my cheeks.
"Volleyball huh? But it's just hitting a ball short." Otto ruffled my hair as he spoke, gesturing towards the nets with his chin.
"That may be but…it's an evil ball you see. With a crafty little mind of its own!" I protested, narrowing my eyes at the courts that waited my presence.
Otto released a small puff of laughter, "now, now Willa no need to be childish. The ball is your friend and it hits you then…it just wants to give you a hug…of sorts." I quirked my eyebrow at his stuttered and forced response before shaking my head with dismissal.
"There's no point being grown-up," I placed both of my hands gentle on his shoulder as I continued with foolish eyes, "if you can't be childish sometimes – The Forth Doctor." I believed every word that had trickled out of my mouth, down to the last speck that created my existence. For my whole life…I had been brought up around the children in schools, in slums in India and it was through seeing them, falling victim to their youthful charm and magnetic happiness and appreciation for life that I…admired them, envied them and loved them. Each time I looked into their eyes, I found this glistening innocence and wonder, this thirst for discovery and love, for beauty. And I knew then that I could never let go of my child-like nature – of that wild innocence…
At the sound of the second whistle, I jumped in surprise as I jolted out of my memories and rejoined the present. We were split into groups based on gender – the girls playing volleyball and the boys basketball. Both Josie and I waved goodbye to a reluctant Otto and made our way to our side of the gym. Luckily, Josie and I were on the same team but the longer we stood and waited for the game to commence, the redder my cheeks became with fearful embarrassment.
I bent my knees slightly as the opposing team eyed us up and down. Placing my hands in a flimsy attempt at the correct hold, I took a deep breath, trying to calm my hiccupping heart and clotted throat.
The ball flew over the net in one swift motion and the game commenced. My first hit was adequate to my surprise and a small surprised smile tugged my lips upwards with a hint of smugness. Looking to the right, I watched as Josie spiked it over the net. One point to us. I was just about to congratulate her when the game suddenly started once more, and I felt oddly like squirrel amongst lions.
Seeing the ball coming my way, I felt my heart clench as I bit my lip with determination, narrowed my eyes and hit the ball with all my might…only to hit it straight over my head and into the wall behind us. With its almighty slam into the wall breaking the stunned silence of the other players, I pressed the tips of my fingers to my lips as I spun around to look at the ball behind me…cringing at the fallen cones that it had hit. Slowly turning back towards the opposing team, my eyes twitched as I saw other's trying to stifle their chuckles. Straightening up, I turned back around and walked to pick up the fallen ball.
"I…" I picked up the ball lightly with the tips of my fingers, twirling with hesitance I looked at my teammates and opponents. "I suppose an oopsie is in order." I said shyly as I handled the ball like a fragile object. "Oopsie." I said with an embarrassed smile, my right shoulder lifting upwards as my cheek kissed my raised shoulder. "Well…I suppose this is yours yea?" I tried to hide my embarrassment, but by hesitant and delicate nature of my words I knew I was failing in my endeavor. Walking towards the net, I bent down and crossed under the frayed white material to the other side. Approaching the closest girl to me, I outstretched the ball with a cautious smile.
Looking me up and down with smirking eyes, she snatched the ball away with a force that made my fingers tremble.
"Nice moves Fawn, although maybe next time you should stick to fetching the balls or us instead of hitting them." She sneered with an arrogance that made my skin tighten and veins sharpen.
I frowned slightly, wrapping my arms around myself as she towered over me. Looking at my feet I said quietly, "thank you for that eloquent and comforting sentiment." Sarcasm lightly pinched my gentle words. "But…" I looked up with wide innocent eyes that were deceptively harden underneath the surface. "I suppose if that's the price for making a mistake then maybe you'd be better suited for that job…since you missed a shot early but hey, let's call it square and dandy and simply play." I finished with the friendliest of smiles I could conjure before sucking in my bottom lip and twirling around to go to my side of the court.
"So," said the most skilled player on my team – giving me a look of approval before saying, "shall we play?"
After experiencing a few more fumbles, our team was deemed the victor. I smiled joyfully as I leaped into Josie's arms at her winning shot. Wrapping my legs around her waist as I squeezed my pride into her, I then plopped back to the ground and fetched my water bottle from the bleachers whilst the girls were dismissed and the boys finished their game. Sipping from my bottle, my eyes slid over to where Otto was playing. He was sweating, panting heavily as he dribbled and weaved clumsily between the players. Swallowing the water deeply, I snapped the lid shut and was just about to turn towards the changing rooms when my eyes pulled themselves towards a certain fella.
He hadn't broken a single bead of sweat. He looked calm and composed – tense and controlled as his honey locks fell over his marble-like skin. His cheeks didn't have a single pink flush of tiredness and I couldn't help but scrunch up my lips in annoyance. Tilting my head to the side, his eyes, with a smooth laziness, suddenly shifted to look into mine. Relaxing my face, I could feel his eyes pulse inside my very own, feel foreign thoughts of attraction manipulate my heartbeat and…
No. With one sharp movement I snapped my head away. No, I…I had to stop this. These feelings this…silly attraction…a person was not defined by their appearance and I wouldn't…couldn't let some handsome stranger flutter my heart. Heart – a person was defined by just that and so far, I had not heard anything regarding his. These feelings were wrong, unwanted and I knew then what I wanted to do.
Tonight.
I hadn't been free since India…at peace…but tonight that would change…tonight, I would lose myself to solace's lullaby.
It was midnight when I left – when I escaped the naked white walls of my room to dance underneath the labyrinth of constellations above. My violin case was draped over my shoulder as I climbed out of the window and down the edge of the house – the rain covering any whisper of a noise that I made. Landing softly on the grass with an echoing thumb, I swiftly got on my memory strained bicycle and rode off into the night. The rain smothered my face as I rode, soaked through my clothes and drenched my hair as the sleeping houses became a blur to my vision. I didn't not stop once as I spend towards my desire, as I flicked my eyes to the stars to let their ghost light guide me.
The second my eyes captured the forest, I felt a twinge of happiness, and magnetic need and near ecstasy as I approached its mysterious embrace. Skidding to a clumsy stop, I got off my bike and broke out into a wild and untamed run. My feet were light and agile as I went, as the lighting illuminated my path and shattered any cage, and boundary that had held my heart and soul during the hours of the day. My mouth parted in a blissful grin as the string, that tether that kept me composed, constrained snapped with a sharp jolt and I…Seeing a large long, I increased my speed as I leapt over it, giggling to myself as I slipped on the muddy surface and collided with the raw crust of this enigma-like planet. I rolled to my side, unafraid of the dirt, of the twigs that clung and tore at my clothing as I got back to my feet and recommenced my run.
I came to an abrupt stop when I reached the bottom of the waterfall – my chest rising and falling heavily with each intake of breath. The waterfall was an enchanting mistress of the night, and I couldn't help but be intoxicated by her sent and taste, her being. Slipping my violin case off my shoulders, I approached the edge of the waterfall; the rain so soft now that's it's presence was only visible through the tiny ripples in the shallows of the water. Bending down in a cluster of leaves, I removed my fraying converse and socks – tilting my head backwards in pleasure at the feeling of the soil, the grass and the leaves against my bare and vulnerable flesh. Pealing of my blue parka, I was left in a delicate cream dress.
I inhaled another deep breath of the wet, fresh air as I looked up at the stars with large eyes, with eyes that prickled with a wetness of their own. I had always liked to think that whilst I looked up at the stars that…that they looked back down at me. That all the people who I had loved, who had died…that they now shinned in skies with their gleaming armor as they watched over us, protect us. I made a slow twirl, my eyes no moving from one particular star in the sky. Although it may look the same to the others, I was drawn to it. The way it shinned…the way it looked at me, into me.
I licked away the cool shell that had formed over my lips and whispered, "hello mama." I squeezed my eyes tightly before continuing on, feeling her love, her memories soak into my core. "I ah," I felt my heart hiccup and the tip of my nose burn. "I…I had m-my fi-first day of school today." I told her softly as I tried to swallow that threatening lump in my throat. My eyes prickled with a salty wetness and I closed them, blinked and blinked to hold them back but…each time I closed my eyes, memories of her, her face, her warmth…sainted the backs of my eyelids. "I…" a sob clots in my throat. "I miss you Mama." I sucked in my lips as I tried to hold my breath; hold back the tears that I never allowed anyone to see. But when the lack of breath became too much to bare, I released a raw sob. "I miss you so much Mama," My voice fractured as I spoke to that one star, as I hoped and wished that she was looking back at me, feeling the love that I had – have for her. "I…" I whipped my nose with the back of my hand.
"I…I love you." I said in the tiniest of whispers, a whisper meant for the dead. Taking a deep breath, I swallowed back my tears and forced a smile. She was in a better place, a place without pain, without suffering and fear…so…I couldn't let her see mine. "This one is for you mama, just like old times except now…now you are watching from a different angle."
Flicking my gaze to the ground, I picked up my violin and bow and stepped into the shallow water. I waded out a little further before placing my violin on the curve of my neck. Not wasting another moment, I drew the bow across the strings and a new melody was born into the night. My fingers moved with agility and precision as the music poured out into the waterfall. I could feel all of my hidden emotions leak out onto the strings and fly into the sky, swim into the water and climb up the trees. This music consumed me, enslaved me and raptured me. I could feel my body move to the music effortlessly, my legs wrapped around my body as I spun, spun and spun. Water splashed around me as I turned, walked and leapt through it. Every worry, every fear had taken flight and I…I was left in solace.
As I went on point, I outstretched my leg behind me and spun slowly as my toes sunk into the sand. My body twisted this way and that as I performed a gentle yet passionate dance to accompany my piece. I could feel my hair getting wetter from the splashes and the rain strengthen in its fall. But I didn't stop. I needed a release, an escape. I wanted to feel bliss, to envelope myself in ecstasy – to make my mama proud, my mama happy. This feeling of bliss, of capturing solace finally claimed me as I reached the crescendo of the piece. I placed everything I had into the music, into the dance. I poured my soul, my entire being onto the strings as I played – as I played solace's lullaby.
I was only halfway back to my fallen bicycle when a sharp venom burst within my blood as my tranquility burned to ash. I paused midstride in the forest; the crunch of my final footstep an echo within the silent labyrinth. With my eyes fixed on that sight I…feeling the churn within me I dropped to my knees as my dinner slipped out of me in violent retches. My throat stung, burned as I vomited and trembled in the now haunted forest. Whipping my mouth with a shaky hand, I sat up – craning my neck to the right to see the bloody mess that tainted the soil and leaves. Before me was something that haunted my nights – a dead animal.
I moved closer to the deer's paralyzed form. It was covered it blood, dry crusted blood that had once dribbled and gushed from the half-moon shaped bites that now painted it. I could feel my heart stutter, quiver as a wetness prickled my eyes. I couldn't breathe…I…my body shook, trembled as it starved from the lack of oxygen – from fear and horror. It was a fawn…just a baby fawn and I…Taking in a sour and callous breath I let out a raw and unpleasant sob. What type of creature, no, monster could have done this? Could have slaughtered, mauled such an innocent and exquisite animal? My fingers traced the shapes of the bites. They were like nothing I had ever seen before and I suddenly felt the hairs prickle on the back of my neck – the crunching of twigs and rustling of leaves becoming threatening.
I couldn't leave the fawn here.
Taking off my parka, I rolled my shoulders back and began to dig with my hands. Digging through the dirt I felt it creep its way underneath my nails as I hurriedly went, burring itself before breaking my nails and staining my skin. But I didn't stop. Tears continues to fall from my stinging eyes, the bite was something I had never seen before. It seemed so precise, too neat and careful.
Once I finished digging, I whipped the sweat from my forehead before gently lifting the fawn into my arms, cradling it's fragile and broken form. Placing a single kiss on its nose, my lips lingered against its fur as I squeezed my eyes – my pain and horror threaten to overspill.
"Hush now, it's alright." I whispered gently as I placed the fawn in the small pit I had dug. "You're at peace now, nothing can hurt you." I pulled my arms out from underneath it. "You're safe." And with that, I covered the dawn with dirt and then picked some flowers to place on its small grave as I sung a lullaby. It was a lullaby my mama used to sing me. The song was a promise – a promise of no more fear, of eternal joy – of love.
Dropping my bike into a cluster of leaves, I approached the tree outside my bedroom window. Every time I blinked, every time I breathed…I could still see the fawn, what that monster had done to it. I could feel my insides churn – the pain that seeing that deer made me feel, strangled my veins. But I couldn't let myself be consumed in darkness. I had found solace tonight, I played music for the stars and the fawn was now in a better place – I had to believe that. Taking in a deep breath of air, I savored its taste before I wrapped my fingers around a branch and began to climb. I felt my foot slip and I couldn't hold back the small yelp that escape my mouth as I clung to the tree. I quickly found my footing and continued to climb the tree.
When I reached my window, I placed one had on the windowsill and the other on a branch as I hoisted myself up. With my feet now resting on two branches, I pulled myself up higher before opening the window and tumbling inside. My attempt to do this gracefully was ruined the second I placed my leg on the windowsill. I squeezed my eyes shut as I fell straight onto my bed, releasing a small scream that was muffled by the duvet.
"I didn't realize the front door was broken. Where were you?" At the sound of my little cousin's voice I rolled off my bed and tried to compose myself.
"Seeing…" My eyes sparked, "wonders." I twirled before meeting her not amused eyes. I bit my lip as I approached her, taking her hand in mine before leading her to the window. "Aren't they wonderful?" I asked Bella as I looked up to the stars, to the dead who watched over us.
"Yea," she replied unconvincingly as she nodded. "But hey, Willa, you're not in India anymore." Her worlds forced my eyes to flick to hers as my heart dropped a little more. "You can't just run off at night." I frowned at her words, scrunching up my nose in confusion.
With my index finger, I tapped her little nose gently before making my way to my wardrobe. "But that's the only time I can, Bells." I told her softly with a smile. Turning around on the balls of my feet, I looked up at my little cousin – trying to show what I felt, what I saw through my eyes. "The world is full of wonders Bella, the night it…it sings to me like some magnetic force yearning to be discovered." I told her truthfully with wide innocent eyes. "Night was when my mama and I used to talk, used to discover and lay underneath the stars as we made up names for the constellations. It's magical and no matter where I go, I won't be able to resist that pull." The smile that I held was distant, lost to remembrance as I spoke. "But you didn't come in here to ask if little ol'Willa was alright, so what's wrong?" I asked in the softest of manners, giving her all my attention.
"Do…do I smell?" My eyes widened at her question and I couldn't help but release a small puff of surprise.
"Why would you ask such a silly thing?" I wondered aloud, puzzled by her sudden question. I gestured for her to take a seat on my bed whilst I decided to change into my pajamas. Turning my back to her, I listened intently to her words.
"Well, you know Edward Cullen?" She asked and I turned to face her after pulling on my Ballet Pajama top. I titled my head to the side as I recalled the specific boy she was talking about.
My cheeks prickled a pastel pink, "The boy wh-who couldn't keep his eyes of you?" I asked lightly, releasing a small melody of giggles as her jaw set into a straight line. "The boy who made you blush dur-" My words were cut off when she threw a pillow at me. I laugh, catching it and threw it right back at her.
"I did not blush." She said firmly yet the smile on her face confessed her lie. I quirked an eyebrow and she chucked the pillow right back at me, hitting me in the head.
"So are you going to tell me little Bells, or will we just keep on having this pillow fight?" I asked and continued to change into my matching pajama shorts.
"Well in biology I think he smelt me and was repulsed, or something." My eyes widened in surprise and my eyebrows furrowed. I then came to sit beside her. I leaned in and smelt her before pulling back.
Shaking my head, I said, "nope, you're fine." I told her with a pop.
"Okay well let's say for argument sake that I did smell in biology, would you want to change class because of it?" I shook my head instantly and took her hands in my own.
"Off course, not." I told her. "And you do not smell. You have nothing to worry about. Edward must have had a cold? His brother did in History s-so maybe the c-cold decided to pay him a little 'hello' too." I told her lightly but from her expression I could tell she didn't appreciate my answer. I hummed as I thought before saying, "maybe he's just a little," I paused.
"A little what?" She asked bluntly and I sighed.
"Different." I said slowly. "I mean everyone is different but his kind of different might be…"
"Strange, weird." She stated. "Something doesn't seem…normal with him, with his family."
"I suppose." I told her and fiddled with the lace of my pyjama shorts. "But then again, w-what is normal?"
"Not them." I shook my head lightly at this, a little put out by her sudden conclusions.
With a sigh, I patted the bed, "come on you, you can sleep with me tonight." I told her gently and pealed back the covers so we could both slip in.
Once underneath them, she placed her hand against mine and laughed when she saw how much bigger hers was. "I love you, Willa."
My features softened at her words and I folded my fingers between hers. "I love you too Bells, forever-"
"And always," Bells finished before we both closed our eyes and tumbled – tumbled into our dreams.
Authors Note: Hi everyone! If you've made it this far then I really hope that you are enjoying this. If there are any questions that you have, comments or suggestions then please let me know. Reading your reviews...they are truly a light in darkness for me. Until next time, may you all know that no matter what you are not alone, and that in the darkness there are always lights, always hope and beautiful wonders.
GawkyTC: Hi you! I just wanted to say a huge thank you to you for your reviews. In all truth, when I posted this I didn't think anyone would like yet alone read this. And when I read how you think of my writing and Willa...you lit up my day and heart! You're reviews have truly given me the inspiration to keep sharing and I just wanted to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. You are so sweet, and I truly hope the world knows that.
AmberinAshes: Hi! I just wanted to thank you so much for your review! It was so sweet of you! I was so nervous about what others make think of Willa but what you've said has really sparked something in me. Thank you so much and I truly hope you are well :)
musicluver246: Hi! Thank you, that's so sweet of you :) Being a lover of music, I adore your username. I hope you are well :)
Starlight: Thank you so much starlight! You really are a true shinning star! I always look forward to reading your little reviews so and I hope that you like this chapter and are well and happy :)
EmilFloreau16: Hiya :) Thank you so much for your kind and beautiful words. I've been so nervous about sharing this and doubting everything I have written...but after reading your review you gave me a burst of light and confidence. I'm so happy you like Willa, and I hope you maybe liked seeing more of her and finding out about who she is. I hope you are enjoying this and if there are any suggestions, comments or questions then please don't hesitate. Thank you again for what you said, it truly means so much to me. I hope you are doing well and that you are happy :)
Mystic Em: Hi you! I just wanted to say a big big thank you to you for your beautiful words. When I read them, I couldn't stop smiling! I even made a few excited noises! It makes me so so happy that you like my writing style and Willa! Words can't even begin to express how much so. Oooh jeepers thats a wonderful question! For Willa, I suppose my inspiration for her came from a mixture of things. I absolutely adore Padme from Star Wars but all together I suppose my inspiration came from Padme, a little bit of Daisy's innocence from the Great Gatsby, some of Lou's quirks from Me Before You and my own imagination! Oh I feel like that may have been a clumsy answer but I hope it is alright! Thank you so much for your beautiful words again and if there is any other questions or anything then please don't hesitate! Thank you once again, and I truly hope the world knows how sweet, kind and wonderful you are!
DarkAngel2581: I know you wrote your review for the first chapter but in case you are still reading I just wanted to say thank you. That was so kind of you to say and I truly hope you are well and happy :)