The drive to Josh's apartment was filled with an uncomfortable silence. Her thoughts were too loud, and that's the only sound she could hear. Every tear she had was already shed on the drive, or so she thought. It had been one exhausting day after the other ever since Mulder appeared again. No, that wasn't fair to him, to blame him for something that he had only walked into himself.
Her conversation with Daniel still echoing so loudly in her mind. What did she want, is this what her life was supposed to be? It was rather unconventional, but that's how she lived the last few years. Longing after her partner, suppressing the needs that every normal, breathing human woman had. She admired her strength, she really did.
When she met Josh, it was a breath of fresh air, but then she realized that she was suffocating, and forgot to exhale. He was what she thought she was supposed to have, along with a child. Perhaps later in life than she ever imagined, but it wasn't even a possibility in her mind before. He cared about her, loved her more than she did him. There was never a doubt that she had learned to admire him and his normalcy, but there was a hidden fear that she was only settling. He was not passionate about life and did not ooze that same charm that consumed her soul the prior years. There was a brief moment as she parked outside his apartment building that she realized he never stood a chance. She had been comparing him to Mulder for the entirety of their relationship. With a heavy sigh, she dropped her shoulders and exited the car.
The loud knock of her own fist against his door only amplified her nerves.
"Dana, hey, come on in." He pulled her inside, welcoming her with a nervous smile. She hadn't called. If she gave him a warning, he would have been prepared, possibly making dinner, offering her a glass of wine. This needed to be quick, like ripping off a band-aid. She owed him some honesty. "I'm glad you're here." He embraced her, her arms reaching around to gently return the hug.
"I - uh, it's been a long day." She gave him a sympathetic smile. "I wanted to talk."
"We haven't been able to do much of that lately." He led her to the couch, and she hesitated to sit. The realization of what was happening flashed so evidently in his eyes. "Dana…"
"I know things happened quickly, and I haven't been fair to you. I wasn't expecting for all of this to hit my life, and I don't know what's going to happen." She let out a heavy sigh, fiddling with something in her hands. "But what I do know is -"
"Is that you feel you're with the wrong person." He finished for her. She wasn't going to put it in those words necessarily, but the tears in her eyes told him that he was right. He stood to face her, now afraid to get too close. "I think I've known, I just didn't want to see it."
Damn him, for making this so much harder than it already was. She should have known he would accept this, tenderly, gentle. It was in his nature. Quite the contrast from the yelling match her and Mulder found themselves in when she tried to leave. There was a deep fear that he would hate her, regret their time together, feeling that it was wasted. She didn't want that.
"Josh, I'm so sorry." She hiccupped back a sob. Knowing she was making the right choice didn't cause any less pain.
"When you look at the baby, there's this sparkle in your eyes, like he holds every answer you've ever sought in life. It's filled with this unconditional love and I had hoped that one day you would look at me like that." He said in a small voice. The tears began to flow freely now. "The only other person that made that look appear was him."
She furrowed her brows at him, meeting his gaze with her wet eyes. No, there was no way it was that evident. She couldn't comprehend what Josh was saying, he couldn't have noticed that because she wasn't sure how she felt herself. Well, she knew, but she wasn't ready to admit to it. She was so taken back by his observation that she almost forgot what she came here to do.
"I don't know what's going to happen." She admitted again, looking down at the key in her hand. "I came here to give this back to you." He held out his hand, the final act of their separation. With a simple nod, he retrieved his key ring and handed hers back as well. They never had any of their personal belongings at the other apartment, so this was the only thing to return. Well, that and a silent apology.
"I'll miss you." She smiled, reaching out to squeeze his hand gently before leaving without another word. Nothing more needed to be said, at least not to him.
She drove aimlessly for a while, before stopping to pick up food for her and Mulder. She hadn't called to let him know that she would be later than she thought, but he also hadn't called to ask her whereabouts, so she figured that was a somewhat good sign.
When she pulled up to her apartment building, she could see the dim light illuminating from her living room. There was an overwhelming sense of warmth that spread through her, knowing she was coming home to her son, and Mulder. He would have a little catching up to do, but she was fully prepared to fill him in on her life-changing conversations of the day. He probably wouldn't believe her at first, but now they had time to figure things out. She was choosing the other path, the one she should have given a chance in the first place.
She looked around the apartment, it was awfully quiet, the only sound was the low, indistinct hum of the tv. He wasn't visible at first, a wide smile spreading on her face at the clearer sight before her. Mulder was lying on his back, William's flat against his own as he cuddled atop him. They both had their mouths open, Mulder's left arm blocking his eyes, and his right hand placed firmly on the baby's back. She could get used to this. It pulled at her heart that he could have had this all along, if he were given the chance.
Mulder began to rouse, shifting slightly and remember the baby on his chest. His held him closer, careful not to move as he adjusted his body. His tired eyes finally met hers, seeing her standing there, watching them. He gave her a sheepish smile, sitting up so she could sit at the other end of the couch.
"Hey, you're finally done." His voice was low and filled with slumber, his hair disheveled from their nap. She loved him like this.
"Yeah, it's been an interesting day." Her voice was small, eyes not meeting his quite yet.
"What's going on?"
"We'll talk after we eat? I'd like to get comfortable." She gestured towards the chinese food on the coffee table, standing and excusing herself to change. William remained snoozing comfortably in Mulder's arms.
"Sure." He gave her a half smile. There was something on her mind, that much was apparent. He felt like he couldn't decipher it anymore, like he didn't know this version of Scully. He hated that feeling the most. "Uh, Scully?"
"Yeah?"
"Do babies always sweat this much?" He gently pulled William from his chest, an apparent damp outline etched into Mulder's gray t-shirt. She chuckled, taking the baby from him as he began to wake.
"I think you broke his fever." She held the baby against her cheek, kissing the side of his head. He wasn't warm anymore. "Was he fussy today?"
"Nah, he slept most of it. I'm glad he's feeling better." He said genuinely. He began tugging at his shirt, trying to keep the dampness from his skin.
"I'll be right back." She escaped to her room, laying the baby in his crib to change into jeans and a comfortable sweater. She changed the baby, too, choosing to forgo a bath until later. Reaching into one of her drawers, she pulled out another gray t-shirt of Mulder's. It wasn't her favorite one, and she could afford to give this one back. "Here, figured you could use this."
"How did you steal so many of my t-shirts, Scully?" He teased, a smirk touching his lips as he had the image of her the day before, drowning in one that was oversized for her tiny figure. He tugged his current shirt off, taking the time to put the clean one on as her eyes not so subtly raked over his torso.
"There's been too many cases to try to account for how I end up with your clothes, Mulder." She mumbled, diverting her eyes towards the food. She began to separate it between them as he changed, offering him a generous portion.
"You feeding me before sacrifice?" He nudged her arm, trying to relax her. He could tell that she was wound tight, not knowing what transpired during her day. The only thing he could sense was her nervousness, but there was a certain confidence in her eyes.
"Sorry, I think I'm still a little distracted." A smile flitted across her face, he took it as a small victory. She picked up William from his blanket on the floor, standing to retrieve a bottle from the kitchen. He knew this was her way of feeling in control of her life, when everything around her was spinning. He just wished he was still the person that knew her mind.
"Do you want me to feed him so you can eat?" He offered, shoveling food into his mouth as he set down his plate. She waved him off, gesturing for him to continue.
"I haven't seen him all day, it's my time." She smiled at him teasingly, her gaze shifting to the baby in her arms. This was always her favorite part of the day. He took the opportunity to bask in the moment - this was his family now. The idea of a family was always an unattainable thought, mostly because he brushed the idea aside. Diana offered it to him, but he never felt that it was right. He realized now, that he never cared for Diana the way he did Scully. He was willing to give her everything, and more. A smile touched his lips as he watched the pure bliss on her face when she looked at William, he had given her the miracle she desired most. He was startled to see her staring back at him, realizing his mind had drifted off into a daze. He held her eyes, smiling at her, knowing that they were slowly fixing what happened between them.
"So you going to tell me what's on your mind?" He knew he was risking a lot just asking, especially given the fact that he was just lucky to be there. She let out a heavy sigh, nodding in confirmation, she'd have to tell him sometime.
"While I was at the hospital, I ran into someone I'd never imagine seeing again." She paused, meeting his eyes for a brief moment. "I don't think I've ever told you about him, but it was a very serious relationship in my life, it affected me greatly." She watched as he stiffened as soon as she said 'him,' knowing he was already jumping to the wrong conclusions. In order for this conversation to work, he had to know all of it.
"And seeing him again, it's affecting you as well?" His voice was calm, neutral, but she could read the panic behind his eyes.
"Yes, but not in the same way. I think -" She took a deep breath, bringing William to her shoulder to burp. He watched as she took the moment to bury her face into his baby scent, knowing that whatever she was about to tell him was important. "He made me realize a lot of things that I've been avoiding, things that I thought were right, but were wrong all along."
He was being gentle and sympathetic to her unease of the conversation, but he needed more. She handed the baby to him, excusing herself to the bathroom. Her arms braced around the sink for support, she took several deep breaths. There was a lot of time to reflect, she was confident in coming home to tell him that she made the wrong decisions over a year ago. There was little doubt in her mind, but without any reassurance on where he stood and what he wanted, the nerves settled in the pit of her stomach.
He had the baby on the changing table, humming along to some classic rock tune. She smiled at the sight. He looked so natural in his actions, clearly he had a lot of practice during the day. William began to wiggle, Mulder's hand coming to lay firmly on his stomach to halt his movements. "Dude, work with me here. We talked about this earlier, I thought we had an understanding." She chuckled, making her presence known, and finally relaxing for the first time all day.
"I'd like to think that restlessness comes from the Mulder side." He mocked glared at her, a silent 'ha ha' on his lips.
"Yeah, well, he fell asleep as soon as Twilight Zone came on, and I'm still somewhat offended." A genuine smile spread across her face, she was more sure than ever.
She took the baby from him, holding him close as he snuggled into her chest. Mulder followed her direction as she sat back on the couch, taking the other end. There was a determination in her eyes, whatever had been going through her mind, she had made her decision, and it was final. He knew the look well.
"I never thought I'd have this, it was always some unbelievable hope for me." She began, glancing down at the baby and kissing his soft head. "When I found out I was pregnant, I honestly couldn't believe the results. I think I denied it for a while, thought it was some cruel joke. With everything that happened before, it just wasn't the right time." He nodded, urging her to continue. He didn't know when he should chime in, or if he should just stay quiet until she gave him that expectant look, the one that silently asked for him to answer her unspoken questions.
"But then I was thrilled, that excitement overpowering all the loss and devastation when the IVF didn't take. I had wanted it so badly then, things were good between us. But then everything fell apart, and you were still the only one I wanted to share my excitement with."
"I'm sorry, that I made you feel like you couldn't come to me."
"I know, but our minds were in two completely different places, in opposite directions." He just simply nodded, he couldn't dispute her words. He was off chasing whatever piece of evidence Diana placed in front of him, having no reason to doubt her intentions. He had trusted the wrong person, and lost so much more than just time with his family.
"I didn't have the chance to get back in your direction."
"I know, and I'm sorry for taking that away from you. I couldn't make you choose." He shook his head, there was so much she didn't know.
While she was gone, every lead that Diana supposedly had, led them further away from his quest. He subconsciously knew what was happening, but his feeling of loss overpowered his better judgement. He fell into a slump without Scully to pull him out. There would have never been a choice, had she brought the situation to him. At least, that's what he wanted to believe.
"I don't know what would have happened." He reached across to place a gentle hand on her knee, squeezing it as he smiled at her. "But I'm glad I'm here now."
"Me, too." She returned his smile, covering his hand with hers.
"So is that what this is about?"
"Somewhat, in a way." She stood to lay the baby in the bassinet, watching him as he played with the toys that dangled from his mobile. "I once considered spending my whole life with this man." She paused, feeling his eyes on her, his undivided attention on her movements as she ran her hand tenderly over the baby's head. "What I would have missed."
"I don't think you can know." He said softly, encouraging her to continue. In depth conversations were a rarity with Scully, and he was being very careful with his words. It was as if any sudden movement would cause every wall to be built back up in an instant. The fact that he was even allowed in her apartment and sitting on her couch was a miracle all in itself. "I mean, how many different lives would we be leading if we made different choices."
She huffed a small laugh, she had asked herself that question all day. If her choices had been different 10 years ago, she wouldn't be anywhere near where she is today. Or maybe she would, and other circumstances would have led her here to this point eventually. Would have led her to Mulder, and to William. She resumed her seat next to him on the couch, avoiding his eyes.
"What if there was only one choice, and all the other ones were wrong? What if there are signs along the way to pay attention to?" Her voice was small, this wasn't usually her line of theorizing. He was impossibly quiet, finally causing her to glance up and meet his eyes. There was confusion and worry, but mostly an intense thought process occurring in his mind.
"Do you feel that you made the wrong choice?"
She took her time to answer, her head hanging as she watched her hands resting in her lap. The simple answer was no, but it was so much more complicated than that. She knew what her heart always wanted, but she wouldn't have ever faced that truth if it hadn't been for her meeting with Daniel. Eventually, she might have made a different decision in regards to the direction of her life, but it would have caused a lot more heartache along the way. No, she didn't make the wrong choice by leaving Daniel, making a career change that led her to working with Mulder. The choice she made a year ago was the one that haunted her the most, but she didn't think they'd be here, having this conversation today if she had told him when she did. The fear of resentment was the driving force of her mind.
"No, I don't."
"You never know how that works. One wrong turn, and we wouldn't be sitting here together right now. I think that says a lot."
"It does." She finally caught his gaze, a smile touching her lips. There was still an uncertainty and confusion in his eyes, not knowing the true underlying meaning for this entire conversation. She took a deep breath. "I ended things with Josh today."
"Oh." He perked up slightly. "I'm sorry."
"I think it's been coming for awhile, I just didn't want to face it. But that wasn't fair to either of us."
"Was that you...making a choice?" He asked carefully. She knew he caught on now, asking if she was choosing him. In a way, she was, but there was a lot of work to do. It wasn't going to be that simple.
"Yes, but I don't know what's to happen now."
He nodded, understanding what she was saying. They both needed time to heal from the pain caused between them in the past year, and they needed to move towards whatever this was gradually. He didn't expect her to just jump in his arms, he felt like a lucky bastard to even be here. If he hadn't needed to get away from Diana and the office, he would have never ran into Maggie that afternoon. If his choice hadn't brought him so down, he wouldn't be able to move back up, with his family.
"That's what makes things interesting, don't you think." He wagged his eyebrows at her jokingly, attempting to ease the mood. He knew he succeeded when he heard her chuckle, shaking her head at him. "But, um, I really do want this to work, I want to be around."
"Of course. That's - I want that, too."
They sat in a comfortable silence for several hours, mindlessly watching tv as the baby slowly fell asleep. He glanced over to see that Scully had followed suit, knowing how exhausting the day must have been for her. He reached over and gently tucked the errant strands of hair behind her ear, letting his fingers graze her chin. He had missed her, desperately. And now he missed the son he didn't even know he had, the lost time that he had to make up for. He covered her with a blanket, placing a gentle kiss on her temple, and doing the same for William before silently slipping out the front door.
Scully woke early the next morning to an incessant knocking noise. Disoriented, she glanced at the clock through half open eyes, rubbing her hand over her neck at the soreness of sleeping on the couch. It took a moment for her mind to clear the fogginess before she realized someone was still knocking on her door. The baby began to stir at the sound, checking on him before answering.
"Mulder, it's early, you forget how to use a key?" He smiled at her disheveled appearance and the slight frown on her sleepy face.
"I didn't want to startle you." He explained simply enough. Truth was, he was still wary around her, even after her confessions of the prior evening. "I figured I'd bring you coffee, since you probably didn't set your alarm. You fell asleep on the couch, and I wanted to make sure you made it to work in time."
"Since when have you ever been one for punctuality?" Her eyebrow rose as she took the coffee from him graciously. The heavenly aroma warmed her soul as the cup warmed her hands. It was a short lived moment of bliss as the baby began to make small whimpering sounds.
"I'll get him, you go get dressed." Her eyebrow rose even higher. She decided that this Mulder, the one who had the overwhelming need to prove that he could be here for them, was an intriguing creature. She was going to milk it for all she could.
"I'm going to hop in the shower. I won't be long."
Mulder busied himself changing the baby and retrieving a bottle from the kitchen. He had managed to work out different routines for himself the day before, finding different ways to balance William while he attended to other tasks with his free hand. He gave major props to Scully for making it look so effortless. William sucked hungrily on his morning bottle, clearly feeling better from his temporary bug he had the past few days. He was bouncier and wiggling around more than Mulder had experienced in the previous days. The key turning in the door made him freeze, before remembering that Maggie would be here to pick up the baby.
"Oh, Fox, good morning." She was clearly startled to see him sitting in her daughter's living room, her gaze drifting towards the infant in his arms. The shocked look in her eyes was masked by an appraising glance as he held his son. He felt himself exhale.
"Hi Mrs. Scully." He greeted, smiling sheepishly at her. "Uh, Scully's getting ready, so I thought I'd help with the morning stuff. I don't know if you guys have a routine, or -" He was stammering he realized, stopping as she held a halting hand to him.
"You're doing just fine." She assured him as she made cooing sounds at William. He tensed as soon as he heard the clearing of her throat. "So, how have you been?"
"Uh, good. How about you?" He answered cautiously, preparing for more. By the surprise on her face when she walked through the door, he could conclude that Scully hadn't managed to fill in her mother on any of the latest developments.
"Oh, I've been just great. I just flew in last night from visiting with Charlie and his family." She smiled warmly at him, watching as he set the empty bottle on the table in front of him and threw William over his shoulder. He had already taken off his suit jacket, and covered himself in a blanket, just in case.
"Right, well, I'm glad you had a nice visit."
"And you...have been here all weekend?" She asked casually as she began to pick up scattered toys in the living room. He could tell she was trying to play nonchalant, but the curiosity was so evident in her eyes. He knew that look well, the same gleam that shone in her daughter's eyes.
"I've been helping. Scully, uh, was called in for a case this weekend, so I offered to hang around here. I -" His rambling was interrupted by a loud belch from William. He brought him forward to make sure to clean up any spit up. Maggie smiled at him, seeing how comfortable he fell into this role so quickly.
"Oh, Mom, you're here earlier than I was expecting you." She greeted her mother, all prim and proper for her work day. She was reserved, even around Maggie and that caused questions to arise in his mind. Maybe they were moving too fast, he knew it took her a while to become acquainted with new ideas.
"I thought I'd stop by and help with the morning, but Fox here has been managing just fine." She gave him an appraising smile before making her way to the kitchen. Scully had that look on her face that told him she was confused in her surroundings. Navigating through this was going to take some time.
"I - uh, he's been changed and fed. I should be getting to work."
"Oh." A slight frown appeared on her face. If she was hopeful, he would offer to stay for breakfast and coffee, but she knew he must be feeling out of his element, especially with her mother here. Truth was, she didn't know how to act towards him, now that everything was out in the open. She knew they needed to talk more, but she also wanted to just let things happen. "I'll probably see you around, I have to finalize some things at the bureau."
"Do you want to meet for lunch?" He had that boyish grin that she loved, too hard to refuse when he looked at her with his hopeful eyes.
"Sure. I know where to find you." She gave him a smirk as he handed the baby to her and left without another word.
"So things are going well, then?" Maggie gave her daughter a good waiting period before pressing for information. There was a visible shift in their interactions, not to mention his ease when handling the baby.
"He spent a lot of time with William over the weekend, I had to work all day." She tried to dismiss it, but her mother knew her better.
"And what about you two? Have you had a chance to spend some time together?" Her mother's eyes had a gleam in them, the mischievous look ingrained into her mind.
"We talked." She let out a heavy sigh. "I don't know what this is, we haven't made any definite plans. I suppose there's still more to talk about, but we are just going to see how things go."
"What about Josh?" Maggie had a strong feeling she knew the answer to that question already, and the guilty face of her daughter only confirmed that.
"He and I are not together anymore."
"I just want what's best for you, Dana." There was no judgement in her statement, like Scully had been expecting. When she finally met her mother's eyes, there was a deep understanding. She hadn't seen her daughter this content since she found out about the baby.
Scully simply nodded, a small smile reaching her lips as she began packing her things for the day, and heading to work.
Mulder had been in a slump since he arrived to the office. He was almost hoping that Diana would have rendered her resignation over the weekend. Instead, he walked in to see her already working with a new file on her desk. He internally groaned, though by the way she looked up at him, it may have slipped from his lips as well.
"Diana."
"Good morning, Fox." She answered just as professionally as he said her name. The tension was high in the room. Lunch couldn't come soon enough. "I have another case that's been brought to my attention."
"Oh yeah? By who?" She glared at his accusatory tone, ignoring the implied question he was really asking.
"There's been a teenage girl who had disappeared, only to be returned to a hospital almost 100 miles from her home in Utah. They've had multiple tests run, but nothing seems abnormal." Diana finished explaining stoically.
"So then why are we investigating?"
"Don't you think it rather unusual that she disappeared and turned up in the hospital 3 days later, with no recollection of what happened to her?" She sounded exasperated, but he didn't care to hear the tone in her voice. "I don't know about you, but this constitutes as an x-file, and I'm planning to investigate whether you come with me or not."
"It's also entirely possible that she ran away from home and is using this an excuse to not have to face the ramifications of her actions." He let out a heavy sigh, he was being an ass, but he really didn't want to work with her. He thought after he set everything straight, she wouldn't even be here anymore.
There was a deep fire burning in her eyes. He had dismissed almost every case that she brought him lately, taking the first opportunity to assist the VCS rather than work with her. She had warned the men she worked for that if she didn't give him an actual x-file soon, that his trust in her would slowly diminish, and she knew she was right. Another idea popping into her head, she had one last chance to show them that she was capable of her task. It was a thin line that she was walking already.
"Fine, you don't trust me, then ask Agent Scully to examine the girl. Maybe then we can actually investigate this." He looked up at her startled by her recommendation. There was no way she would willingly allow Scully to be around. Warning signs and bells were ringing.
"No, we'll investigate." He let out a heavy sigh. He couldn't lead Scully into danger, he could protect her this way. There was a smug smile on Diana's face, he knew she felt as though she had won.
"We leave first thing tomorrow morning." She said with a final nod before leaving the office. He stopped caring to ask where she ran off to in the middle of the day, he figured it was better that he didn't know.
He had himself buried in paperwork that he had neglected over the past week, knowing he already missed a few deadlines. There was a different energy inside of him now, one that he hadn't thought would ever return. Glancing at the clock, he knew the lunch hour was approaching and he needed to get his mind straight. Seeing Scully more regularly caused a small smile to form on his lips. That was how Diana found him when she made her way back to the office.
"Sorry, I had a meeting." His smile faded, shrugging off her words. She let out a heavy sigh, sitting at her desk. "Fox, what changed between us?"
He scoffed, leaning back in his chair. "Everything, Diana. We aren't the same people as we were when the x-files were first started."
"I know, but we were good." Before Scully came back, she wanted to say. The men she reported to didn't seem fazed by the recent developments, only angering her more.
"We haven't been good in a while, Diana. You and I both know that." He clipped back. She stood with the fury inside of her.
"Things only changed the minute she came back in the picture. How quickly you forgave her for withholding a child from you." She was playing with fire, she could see it burning in his eyes.
"That's none of your damn business." He shouted back, standing to match her stance. Before she could respond, there was a light knock on the open door. Diana's eyes narrowed, seeing the object of their argument, standing there.
Scully felt completely out of her element, a weird sense of dejavu surging through her as she took the ride down to the basement. This was their office for so long, she felt like a stranger in a place that was like another home for her. The look in Diana's eyes told her she was unwelcome, but the way Mulder visibly relaxed at her presence caused her to exhale with relief.
"I hope I'm not interrupting." Mulder wanted to laugh at the way Diana visibly scoffed. He pushed past her to meet Scully at the door, smiling down at her as she returned his smirk.
"Never. Ready for lunch?" She simply nodded, her eyes glancing towards Diana again. She was surprised that he was so blatantly defying her words. "I'll be back."
They settled themselves in the diner they frequented, the waitress making a point to say that she missed seeing them. They ordered, waiting for the other to talk. It was ridiculous, as much shared history that passed between them, it was the simple things they didn't know how to navigate. Throw them in a life or death situation, and no doubt they'd make it out alive together. That's how he decided to treat this, how much weight he was putting into their new relationship.
"I'm sorry, it seemed like you two were, uh -" She sipped from her water cup, wanting to know what they were screaming at each other for. She caught a few words as she inched closer to the office, hoping he would offer more information at lunch.
"She's just annoyed with me, and I suppose that feeling is mutual." He scoffed, closing his eyes in exhaustion.
"Is it always like that?"
"No, that's probably actually the most we've talked recently. I usually just go on whatever case she finds and do the job." He shrugged. He was miserable, the twinge of guilt twisting in her stomach. The way he used to talk about cases, the gleam in his eyes when he presented them to her, it was all gone.
"And you're okay with that?"
"If I want the x-files, I have to be." He let out a heavy sigh. This wasn't the lunch conversation he was hoping for. "We got into other things, more personal things, last week and I thought for sure she'd be gone today. I wasn't so fortunate."
"Mulder you can't keep doing that to yourself." He shrugged. There was a strong urge to tell her that since she came back into his life that he didn't feel as miserable, knowing he was able to see her and their son. She wasn't ready for that kind of declaration so he held his tongue, for now.
"I'll manage." He gave her a small smile which she returned. "But she does have a case for us first thing tomorrow in Utah, I should only be gone maybe a day."
"Oh, okay." She cleared her throat, the sudden feeling of loss flowing through her. It was ridiculous, but she felt the jealousy. "Do you...want to come over tonight?"
"I - uh, yeah." He flashed her a sheepish grin that caused her brow to furrow slightly with wonder. "I was actually just going to drop by, but I feel better with the invitation."
"You're always welcome." She held his gaze for a moment, seeing the hope in his eyes. She knew if she allowed him, he'd never leave. That idea was sounding better with each passing day.
After a nice evening with Scully and William, he begrudgingly made his way to the airport to meet Diana. He was early, mostly because his mind was in every different direction. Everything in him told him to not get on that plane, not go off on some wild goose chase. He knew it wasn't a real case, the smaller details making that more evident. A teenage woman who didn't come home one night after being with friends, only to be found 100 miles away, seemingly unharmed. He let out a heavy sigh as he saw Diana approaching.
"Fox. I must say I'm surprised to see you here."
"I'm just doing my job." He grumbled back, shifting uncomfortably in the already cramped seats of the terminal. She chose not to comment further, taking the seat across from him. Her interest was only piqued when his cell rang.
"Mulder."
"Hey, it's me." He smiled into the phone, she didn't have to say who 'me' was, he would always know. There was a part of her statement that tugged at his heart, that she felt at ease with their familiar exchanges.
"Hey, you." Diana narrowed her eyes at his conversation. He wanted to walk around so she wasn't listening in, but the bitter part of him caused him to remain in his seat, she needed to hear this.
"Sorry to call, I know your flight leaves soon. I was looking at the case, Mulder, I don't think this is an x-file." She sounded just as exasperated as he felt.
"Yeah, I don't think so either." She could hear the annoyance in his voice. She only wished that she was the one sitting at the airport with him. "We'll go, investigate, and I'm sure I'll be back tomorrow." He missed the eyebrow that Diana raised, the other plans brewing in her mind.
"Just be careful." The warning was evident in her voice, she was concerned for him. That thought caused the smile to bloom even further on his lips.
"You worried about me, Scully?" He teased through the phone. There wasn't an audible response, but the small huff of breath that escaped her lips told him that the blush was rising on her cheeks as they spoke.
"Call me when you get settled."
"Goodbye, Scully." His voice mocking, the smile spreading. Diana was visibly annoyed when he hung up, but he didn't care to investigate her state of mind.
They arrived at the hotel, his mood plummeting when he realized that they had adjoining rooms in a more secluded part of the building. The only difference was that he had no intention of unlocking his side, though no doubt she'd try to make a move. She wanted to go talk to the girl and the family right away, so he had no time to call Scully. He just let out a heavy sigh, going along with her wishes to hopefully expedite this little side trip.
"Mrs. Donoghue, thank you for meeting with us." Diana began the courtesies, Mulder's mind elsewhere.
"Please have a seat. I'm glad there's some more investigations going into Natalie's disappearance. It all still doesn't make a lot of sense to me." Melinda shook her head, a deep confusion in her eyes. "Let me get Natalie for you."
"Could you at least pretend you're interested in this investigation?" Diana hissed under her breath. Mulder shrugged, reclining more in the seat he had taken. He began to speak, only to be completely stilled by the young woman who entered the room.
Diana hid her surprise well. Apparently the men she worked for had taken more consideration into her warnings than she thought. Her only task was to get him to Utah, leaving no questions asked. It was difficult from the beginning, but she managed to at least do this part of her job. Now, looking at the frightened young woman before them, she knew her abduction was intentional to hopefully peak his interest. The bright eyes, the long, wavy brown hair. She resembled everything he thought he had lost.
"Natalie, this is Agent Fowley and Agent Mulder. They just have a few questions about the night you disappeared." Her mother explained tenderly, a comforting voice to ease her mind. She excused herself to the kitchen while they spoke.
"I don't remember a lot from that night." She offered quickly, having already been through this with countless doctors, police personnel and even her own family.
"We just have a few questions about anything you might remember, any tiny details." Diana explained, leaning forward to grab her attention. Mulder noted that although she was trying to gain her trust, there was still something off-putting about her demeanor. Scully was always able to enchant anyone who spoke to her. "Let's start with where you were before you disappeared."
"I went camping with some friends for the weekend. It was our last night there, and Todd asked me to go with him on a walk. We didn't go too far, and when it started getting late, we turned around. I don't remember getting back to the camp. He said that there was a flash and he thought I was taking a picture, but when he was able to focus, I was gone. He ran back and told everyone that he couldn't find me, and they searched all over, but I was nowhere. I don't know how I ended up where I was found." She shook her head, hanging it low as if she found her own words absolutely ridiculous. Mulder was at full attention now, sitting forward, elbows resting on his knees.
"You said there was a flash?"
"Todd said it was a bright light, but he got dizzy from it for a moment."
"Did he have any memory loss or experience anything else?" Mulder asked with more enthusiasm than Diana's seen from him since she returned to the states.
"No, not that he's said."
"We might have to talk to him, since he was with you before you were ab - taken. Do you have an address for him?" Natalie simply nodded, getting up to retrieve a piece of paper to send them in their next direction. "That detail wasn't in the notes."
"No, I don't remember reading it either. Maybe her memory is coming back to her in pieces." Diana offered, knowing damn well what intentionally happened to this girl.
"She was abducted, we need to get a copy of her full medical records, and talk to this other kid."
"Why don't we wait until tomorrow for that. It's getting late, we could grab a bite to eat and then reset for tomorrow while we go over the medical records." He just nodded in agreement, his mind already bouncing between several different theories. She wasn't sure what he was led out here for, but she had a strong feeling that Mulder wouldn't be waking up in Utah tomorrow.
They stopped by the hospital before making their way back to the hotel. He still hadn't had a chance to call Scully, the small ounce of guilt settling in his stomach. Diana had suggested that they eat in her room and go over notes. He was too excited and focused that he ignored all the warning bells going off in his head.
It was late by the time he made it back to his own room, knowing it was even later in Washington D.C. He knew she would answer if he called her right now, but didn't want to wake her or the baby. He would apologize later, he'd been doing a lot of that lately. Just as he was gathering his things to shower, there was a loud hum outside that sounded like it was getting closer. Curiosity winning the better of him, he made his way to the window just in time to see the bright light flash in his eyes, before everything went black.