Wow. It's been a while since I've updated this thing. Christ, since I've read Maximum Ride.
Split Personality: And I've been laying dormant in you all this time-
AUFHG! I… I thought those years of counseling got rid of you.
Split Personality: Nope. Because you can't write Maximum Ride Fan Fiction without me. MUHAHAHA-
Wait, so you're only around when I write Maximum Ride Fan Fic?
Split Personality: Yea. Muhaha…?
I can live with that.
Reviews that make me happy time:
You don't need to know my name: I like how you think…
ImpishHalo: Maybe you should've death threatened me. Lil' bit of motivation would've helped
Bella: I take my time all right. If you haven't noticed, I'm emphasizing the fact that it's taken me forever to update.ThatHasARingToItDontYaThink: IT'S OK. I LYKE CAPS LOCKS.
FletchersFullMoon: Thank you.
Fanggurly: I… will update now…. Sorry.
Tall Dark and Smexy: We keep mine's short, but shaggy. He's adorable fo' sho.
Anonymous: People sure are suggesting Twister a lot. Maybe…
NorahJones: It was a fun chapter to write.
Inside Darkness: Not sure how much sexual tension can result from 'tag', and the people just looove sexual tension.
xxApocalypsexx: Sorry 'bout updating sooo late.
marie47: You are the worst hunter ever.
Talon - Wings and a pulse: I'll be sure to fit in more Fax.
Isolde Eris: I believe he was the Uncle, but I'm too lazy to check.
Sleepwalker418: Haha, that was intended, yep.
Tremma: Spin the bottle is so cliché'… so I'll probably get to it eventually.
TheVelvetVoice: Impressive.
Split Personality: The amount of apologies you had to make was ridiculous.
I'm sorry… but not to you, SP. Anyway, on with the story:
"Maaaax.' A cry erupted from behind the sofa, where the Gasman lay after having misjudged a jump from the coffee table to the sofa. "I'm boooored."
"Go make a stink bomb." I responded, too tired to both come up with something better for him to do and be shocked and appalled at myself for encouraging his antics in order to have him leave me alone.
"I have an idea!" Gazzy shouted, popping up from where he previously lay. "Let's play adventure!"
"What, our lives aren't enough of an adventure?" Iggy asked as he walked in.
"I mean like a real adventure!" Gazzy responded. "With knights and princesses and evil wizards!"
"Fine, Gazzy, if you can get everyone to join in, we'll play with you." I decided, my resolve to not play some mythical adventure game destroyed by Gazzy's nagging and my own sense of boredom.
2 Minutes LaterMiraculously, Gazzy had gotten everyone into the tv room where he was busy assigning the parts.
"Iggy, you're the evil wizard. Who is blind. You're a blind evil wizard." In response, Iggy simultaneously stroked an imaginary beard and groped around as if he was some old blind man.
"Nudge, Angel, you're my women who follow me around and sharpen my weapons and junk." Nudge and Angel didn't look too happy about that one.
"Fang, you and me are the knights who are going to fight the evil dragon!" Fang nodded, but otherwise looked unimpressed at the role he was given.
"Max, I was going to make you the dragon-" I gave him a death glare "but I've decided you can be the damsel in distress." I'd rather be the dragon.
"And Total." Total looked up, surprised that he had been included in the game. "You get to be dragon!"
"I won't let you down." Total responded, his chest swelling with pride.
30 Seconds Later"Now, Sir Fang of Fartsville-"
"Clever" Sir Fang of Fartsville shot back.
"We ride to the lair of the evil wizard. Who is blind."
Gazzy mimed galloping on a horse to Iggy's room, and after a glare from me, Fang reluctantly copied his movements.
They reached Iggy's room, and the door swung open as Iggy bellowed, "You have come looking for the- GAZZY IS THAT A SWORD?"
"Yea." The Gasman looked around innocently, twirling around the sword he had just pulled out. "I'm a knight, duh."
"No swords, Gazzy. Give it here." I demanded. Gazzy hesitantly handed me the sword. I'd make sure to figure out where he had gotten it later.
"All right, evil wizard. Who is blind." Gazzy said, getting back in to character. "Where is Maxinus Ride, the damsel you have stolen?" I scowled at the name Gazzy had granted me.
"I've put her up in the dungeon, guarded by an evil and gruesome dragon!" Iggy said menacingly.
"Well, Sir Fang, we shall go to this dungeon and free this damsel!" the Gasman cried. Fang shrugged, and I couldn't help but be a little offended that wasn't eager to save me from Total the dragon.
Another mime gallop and they were back in the kitchen, where I was supposed to hide behind the table and Total was supposed to guard me like a viscous dragon. I assumed my place just as Gazzy started to face down Total.
"Dragon!" the Gasman called out, pointing towards the not so menacing Total.
"Sir Fang and me shall vanquish you and take the damsel back!"
"It shall not be so!" Total tried his best to roar, jumping at them with all the intensity of furry, adorable dragon.
After a couple minutes of Gazzy and Total rolling around while Fang ate an apple, Total had finally been slain and was now acting out a dramatic and drawn out death by telling us a made up story of his dragon character as his eyes ever so slowly shut.
"And now, I die, struck true by the blade of what some may call hero, but not I-"
"Total, hurry it up". I protested, tired of crouching behind the table.
"Fine. Dead." Total said begrudgingly, letting his tongue hang from his mouth as he closed his eyes.
"Max, come out now." Gazzy called. I came out to meet Gazzy and Fang and was about to call it quits when Angel interjected.
"Now you and Fang need to kiss" She beamed. "He was your hero after all."
I was about to argue, but I didn't really see the point, so I pulled Fang in a warm embrace and kissed him enthusiastically. Uncharacteristic of me, maybe, but sure as hell was fun.
Before you say it, I know Nudge had no lines. I just couldn't fit her in. I'm sorry.
Split Personality: More apologizes? Really?
Anyway, make sure to review. It helps me get better, and it helps you by… uhm… well, giving me incentive to update. Terrible, I know.
Thanks!