THIS IS BACK. Yep, this is back. Think of it as, like, Yuyuko Emblem the return of the revenge of the awakening of the oddly placed midquel, or something. So anyway, uh, yeah. I will get back in the swing of things and do things better than I did before, hopefully. Here, have a 2,550 word chapter, which is a lot longer than what I'm used to.
TOUHOU and all its characters belongs to ZUN/Team Shanghai Alice, while Fire Emblem and all its characters belongs to Intelligent Systems. I don't own either of these. If I did, yuri would've been possible in FE:A.
"This tea is as great as always, Ran!" Yukari sipped her tea in bed.
"Thank you very much Yukari-sama, I aim to please." Ran stood by at the ready, to take her mistress' orders, no matter how big or small. Be it steal the palace of china, find the meaning of a certain word, or prepare dinner, Ran would do it with a whole week to spare. She was that devoted.
"The best, like always!" Yukari goes back to focusing on her game, "alright, chapter one here I go!"
Ran had realized that Yukari had been staying in her room more than usual. Normally, Yukari sleeps for six days, gets up for a day or two to have tea with Yuyuko or Remilia, or to bother the red-white, rinse and repeat. However she hasn't gotten out of bed in three weeks, let alone left to go outside. 'It's all because of that piece of plastic,' Ran thought, 'that has to be the reason Yukari-sama hasn't left in so long.'
Of course, Ran wouldn't really question Yukari, lest she get punished.
However there was one thing that did strike Ran as odd.
"Um, Yukari-sama…" Ran began. "Where was Yuyuko-sama? Didn't she come by yeste-"
"Haha~ Oh Lissa~ That never gets old~" Yukari laughed as Lissa swallowed a bug. "haha~ ohh…~ Oh, sorry, what's up, Ran?"
"Where is Yuyuko-sama, your best friend?" Ran asked again.
'Crap!' Yukari thought, 'can't let her see my game…' she closed the game system. "I sent her home, duh. I wouldn't let the poor thing just WALK her way home!"
"But," Ran deadpandly (is that a word, the narrator thought) said, "she floats."
"Same difference!" Yukari shouted, "Yuyuko never was one for physical activity of any kind. Heck, I'm surprised she's not huge now."
'I could say the same about you,' Ran thought, not that she would ever say that, it'd be straight to the corner for her! "Alright then, if you need anything, I'll be doing chores."
"Yeah yeah whatever." Yukari opens her system as soon as Ran leaves, "okay Yuyuko~ Let's see how you'll react next~"
"I knew we should have gotten a torch staff!"
"I wasn't about to spend more time in that gods forsaken village!"
"We could've gotten Frederick to get one!"
"He has more important things to do, like getting those people with terrible accents away from me!"
"I'm sorry Miss Lissa, but what lord Chrom says is, apparently, law."
"hmmph! You guys are jerks!"
"uh…" Yuyuko stood there, watching the scene unfold in front of her. She had no words.
"I told you," Lissa started, "it's getting too dark to see! All the bugs are out! Now they're going to start to annoy us a-! Ptooey! Eye shwallowehd wun!"
Chrom was vexed. "Lissa stop talking like that or else I'll send you off too."
Lissa spat up. "I've had enough! Haven't you, Yuyuko?!"
"H-huh?" Yuyuko was falling asleep standing up, really, and she looked up at the others. "U-uh… kinda, yeah. I'm hungry more than anything though…"
Frederick looked at Yuyuko as if she just grew wings and flew off. "What, food? You actually EAT?"
Yuyuko was taken aback, for some reason, despite knowing that this is Frederick, master bad ass extraordinaire, the Chuck Norris of the current continuity, she was talking to. "Uh, yeah, food, what us normal human beings eat." She said this despite the fact that she's actually a ghost.
Frederick was exasperated, "What ELSE are you going to ask, that you actually gain experience or what, you fu-"
"Frederick please," Chrom interrupted, "she might of shown us how good she is on the battle field, but she, like my sister, is fragile, so she needs rest."
FUN FACT: Let's pretend Yuyuko has +Magic –Defense
Frederick groans, "very well, I suppose. Well stop here for today."
Lissa sighs and sits down, "good, I'm beat! I'm not going to move another inch!"
Frederick says "lord Chrom and I shall look for stuff to kill and eat, Yuyuko you go look for fire wood."
"wait w-" Yuyuko began, but the males already left, and Lissa was in her "I'm not doing anything!" position. Yuyuko sighs, "I guess…" and she goes to look for wood. Huhuh. Wood.
"…what the heck is this?" Yuyuko asks.
"It's the 'food' you oh so begged for." Frederick replied. "We shot three bears, a rabbit, two dear, and a tumbleweed."
"How could you shoot if you don't have a bow, besides, this doesn't look like it's that m-" Yuyuko began before she was interrupted by Frederick.
"We could only bring back 100 pounds of food." Frederick stated
"How does that even make s"
Chrom eats some, "eat it, it's good."
Yuyuko looks at her hands, unbelieving. "this isn't food. I've had WAY better things than this."
"And how would you know," Frederick asked, "you have amnesia."
Yuyuko was about to say something, but she decided to give it up and 'eat.' It turned out to be one of the most delicious non-Youmu-prepared meals she has ever had. That was saying something. "I want some more!" Yuyuko announced, like a snake having finished eating his first real meal.
"I'm not going to get any more, we killed all the animals in the forest." Frederick stated matter-of-factly.
"What kind of forest has only five ani"
"OKAY GOOD NIGHT." Lissa said, angry at everything that isn't a direct consequence of Yuyuko's actions.
Chrom said "maybe we should sleep. It is late."
"It's only 7:30!" Yuyuko yelled.
"Your seven thirty is our ten thirty," Frederick stated. Yuyuko had no comeback.
"Very well, good night." Chrom decides to stay awake.
"…whatever…" Yuyuko has had enough of their interrupting crap, and decides to sleep.
"When do we tell them we didn't actually hunt anything?"
"In due time, Frederick, in due time."
Lissa shuffles around in "bed," but soon wakes up. "I can't sleep…" She sees Chrom, "you're awake?"
Chrom nods, "one of us needs to make sure everything is okay."
Lissa nods, "right… I'm gonna take a walk, make tire myself out when I return…"
Chrom says, "Okay, I'll join you." So they go on a walk.
"So then I realized I had no toes! And that's what woke me up!"
"yeah yeah whatever, cool story sis." Chrom was very much not paying attention to Lissa's story. He never had the best attention growth.
"You're a jerk!" Lissa yelled, "you never pay attention to us and you always think that I'm fragile a- Oh my gods Chrom look up! What the heck is that?!" As if she was a wizard about to be hit by a bolt of divine lightning, she yells at the top of her lungs.
"What are you-…" Chrom looks up and sees a giant floating eye in the sky. It was like nothing they had seen before.
Out of the evil eye, came out various undead soldiers, who started running amuck, threatening whatever wild life and trees. Also, the earth was torn asunder and lava rose up and things started catching fire, for some reason.
"Lissa, run!" Chrom yelled.
"I'm staying with you!" Lissa yelled as they ran.
"I mean it, go back to Frederick and Yuyuko!" Aw the really do care about each other~
"Not without you!" lissa ran with Chrom, and tried to stick with him, but then two undead appeared from the sky, separating Lissa and Chrom. One of them combated Chrom, the other cornered Lissa. "S-stay away…!" Lissa yelled, but it was no use.
Just as the undead was about to swing his axe and possibly end Lissa, suddenly-
SHWING.
Lissa opened her eyes. She wasn't in heaven yet, she was being protected by a mysterious man in blue with a mask. "Wo… man in blue…" She was breathless; it was as if her fairy tale dreams came true, her dreams of being saved by a person in blue and being swept off her feet.
She needed to make sure never to tell Maribelle about this. Oh how jealous Maribelle would be.
"What the…" Chrom started, having defeated the undead.
"Don't just stand there like a footstool, help…!" The man in blue said.
So then Chrom started running towards the undead threatening his sister, the man in blue lifted his sword with enough strength to throw the axe off his sword, and then the two sword users pressed B and attacked with their fully charged shield breakers, thus ending the threat.
"Quite an entrance…" Chrom began, "what is your name..?" Because that's certainly a way to thank the person who just saved your sister's life.
"There's no time!" The man in blue began, "There's still a threat looming! I shall take that side which is just off screen; you and your companions should stop the enemies over here!" The man in blue ran off screen. It wasn't a good way to make him leave the screen, this narrator said, but it's certainly better than what the game makers did!
"Wait! Take me with you!" A lovestruck Lissa said. Oh how jealous Maribelle would be.
"Lissa now is not the time for this!" Chrom takes Lissa to see the others.
Frederick rode in dragging a pouting Yuyuko, "Milord, milady, are you okay?!"
"Just fine!" Lissa began, "A handsome man in blue swooped in out of nowhere and sa-" Chrom covered her mouth.
"We're as fine as we can be, with these monsters around."
"Are these creatures common to your lands?" Yuyuko asked, still pouting.
"Not in Ylisse, no. I've certainly never heard of these abominations before!" Chrom said.
"They look so ugly!" Lissa said.
"I could run them through by just looking at them." Frederick stated.
A nearby monster looked at them as they said this, looked down, and seemed sad. Of course, to not-Yuyuko, this monster was, of course, just disgusting, an abomination of nature. A purple tear ran down the undead's face.
And then the tear was on the ground with the rest of him when Frederick ran him through.
"Eyes open, we must not let them harm lord Chrom or lady Lissa!" Frederick said as he stopped his horse.
"Right!" Yuyuko said, as she scanned. "Is that a fort?"
"Ah, yes, they are!" Chrom said. "They give a distinct advantage during battle, and we can use them to rest."
"…why are they not even as tall as I am," Yuyuko said as she looked at the faux five foot forts feverishly scattered around the battlefield. Of course, this, like many things, would receive no answer.
So they ended their turn, the other undead came closer. Thanks to some arbitrary distance rule everything in the universe follows, they were only slightly closer to our heroes.
Suddenly, a cry was heard. "Captain Chrom, wait! I'm coming!" A person in blue I mean red came riding on her horse towards the broken land, a female to be exact. "I knew I shoulda stayed with 'em! Alright you farcically faced freaks! Which one of you wants to try my lance on for size! I know just the riiiight spot for it, right up your-"
"Hold, milady!" An elegantly dressed man ran up to the woman. "Life may be long, but attraction is fleeting! Would you leave me in your sweet dust? Leave the war to the warriors, dear bird! A beauty such as you need only wage love!"
"…what the heck are you." The woman said in a deadpan manner.
"Ha! Is the lady intrigued?" She shakes her head, not like he was paying attention. "Of course you are—it's only natural. I am myth and legend! I am he who strides large across history's greatest stage! The man who puts the "arch" in "archer"! My name, dear lady, is Vi—"
She started marching off, not really caring for this "silly man."
"Virion! My name is Virion!" Virion yelled to have the lady stay in Virion's presence. Virion. "Please tell me your name!"
"I'm Sully, and I'm … Shepherd."
"…I'm sorry I didn't hear that. Did you say you're Shepherd?" Virion was confused.
"Huh? Oh, sorry ruffles. I meant to say I AM a Shepherd of Yllise." Sully corrected the mistake.
"Oh Sully, what a divine name! A name for one such as you, who hath no errors!"
"Okay I'm going to ask again, what are you." Sully was getting annoyed by this sad man and his musings.
"Marry me please, dear Sully~" He seemed to not be paying attention to anything at all. Figures. "correct any mistakes I've done on my journey, and please give me the nice embrace o-"
"Correct this!" So she gave him the boot. To the face.
Critical hit.
There were no words.
"good, now that I've gotten you to shut up…" Sully rides along.
"W-wait, at least allow me to accompany you, please." Virion weakly said.
Sully groaned, "fine whatever, but no funny business! …stop looking at me!" So Sully went on her merry way.
"…what just happened." Yuyuko asked from across the battlefield.
"What're you talking about, Chrom asked.
"I… don't know… also, I think some friends of yours are here. A red haired girl and some weirdo."
"Who?" Chrom asked, "oh well, as long as they won't try to kill us, they can fight, I guess."
So Sully moved to the command of… someone. And then Virion was selected.
"Goddesses and gentlemen, might I have your attention?" Virion began, "I, as it happens, am an archer! ...The archest of archers, in fact. As such, I attack most effectively from a distance. So kindly keep me one step away from peril, if you would!"
Sully was annoyed "hey would you SHUT UP, STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF, AND PLEASE GET A MOVE ON BEFORE I KILL YOU MYSELF."
Virion cowered in his boots, "a-alright, i-I'll just get going." And he spoke no words the rest of the chapter.
So they combined forces of Chrom, Sully, Frederick (who just looked imposing), Yuyuko, Virion when he wasn't looking at Sully and or Lissa when she came into view, and Lissa, they cleared out all the undead but one. The "boss," Yuyuko figured.
"Ryaaargh!" He went charging towards Lissa.
"oh crap!" Lissa was too close and the boss had a hand axe, leading Lissa to danger. She got hit once, and felt all the weaker. "d-dang it…!"
"Milady! I'll show you, foul beast!" So Frederick rode up to the boss, critical hit him, and then the boss burst into flames. Yep.
"That's all of them!" Chrom said. The words "stage cleared" appeared again in bright yellow. Yuyuko swore she'd go blind by the end of this.
After burning all the corpses, the masked man came up to Chrom. "Good, you made it." Lissa hugged his arm.
"HIYOURSOCOOLWHAT'S YOURNAMEWILLYOUGOOUTWITHME" Lissa was a bit energetic.
"U-uh, no thanks." The man said.
Chrom decided to ask, "may you please tell us your name, hero?"
"I'm no hero, I'm clearly a- …never mind that." The man began, "anyway, my name… is Marth."
"THE Marth?" Frederick asked. "I heard legends that he had a girlish look but…"
"SOOOOO COOOL." Lissa said.
"Anyway.. I must go, the world is in danger, and I must save it." So he left, I guess.
"…what the hell." Yuyuko said. And then the screen went dark.
So yeah. This was fun~ Hehe, I hope you guys liked it too.
Also also, I'm going to be posting this chapter on a few other places, so I can spread the hopefully cool story to more people, maybe.
Anyway, please read and review!