Part 4

We pulled onto the street that was very familiar to me; it was just starting to get dark. I had slept most of the ride down, but it didn't seem to bother my father. I had wasted the time I had to think about what I was going to say by sleeping, that was stupid. But, it was nice to have some peace from the real life nightmare I was living.

My father parked the shiny black car right in front of my apartment building. Lights lay across the blacktop from almost every window, but it was quiet, too quiet. As he killed the engine he took my hand, "I'm not going to go inside unless I know theirs danger, if he gets out of control get as far away as possible from him." I already knew that, I had done it so many times in the past when we had fights, just in case. The brow to my father's forehead creased, he didn't want to know all the times it had been a "close call". I quickly tried to not think about it. Instead my focus was now getting the strength to get out of the car. My legs were shaky from the nerves, but I was able to make it out of the car and across the brightly lit street to the entry way.

As we walked down the hall, my father stayed four feet behind me. As I approached the door, I looked at him. Is he in there?

"Yes," he whispered it to me and than leaned his back against the opposite wall. He closed his eyes and was now reading each thought that not only passed through Jacob's mind but also mine. I fumbled for the keys in my pocket, and my hands were now trembling so bad I was barely able to get the key in the doorknob. As I turned the knob, I paused for a moment to catch my breath than slowly pushed the door open.

"Ness! Where have you been? You didn't tell me where you were going, I was about to come up to your folks place but I figured I wasn't welcome there at the moment. I'm sure you showed them everything that happened and I figured I'd give them time to cool down before seeing them again." Jacob approached me with relief in his voice. He took me coming back as forgiveness. I wasn't sure how to respond or if I could at all.

"I'll tell you what though, you smell Ness. You think I would be used to it by now, but you smell like a house full of vampires." He crinkled his nose in the air, and stepped back a couple inches. "Well the whole family was there, they threw me a party, and it was really nice to see everyone. I missed them a lot." I don't know why I was explaining this to him; he could smell every scent that was on me. "And no Jacob, they aren't very happy with you…" I trailed off I was angry again, angry that he was playing it off like nothing had happened. "And… and neither am I."

His face went from being pleased to see me to seer sadness. "I'm sorry, really Ness I am. If I could go back I wouldn't have tried." A part of me wanted to forgive him right there and go back to us just hanging out and being best friends. But another part of me knew that that would never be enough for Jacob and what had happened would take place again.

"Jacob, we need to talk…" It was too hard finding the words to say, lost in a pool of other words that I knew would crush him.

"I thought that was what we were doing Ness" He gave me a half smile, and it made it worse for me to say what I really want to.

"We need to talk about us Jacob, not just about what happened between us." His expression froze, I'm sure he could see what I was trying so desperately to get at.

"I'm not…I don't think…I love you the way you love me Jacob." I hung my head, I didn't want to see his face, I didn't want to see the hurt I had just put on it. I felt like a monster the moment it came out from my lips, but I couldn't hide the truth from him anymore. It was silent, for what seemed like forever. I forced myself to look up.

The expression on his face was blank, like I had sucked the life from it. His eyes didn't glisten like they normally did; his large wide grin looked like it would never come back.

"You don't love me?" it barely came out as a whisper.

I stepped forward, I wanted to console him. "I love you Jacob, really I do. But you are my best friend, my companion." I wanted to beg for him to see things the way I did.

Another long pause, and his expression changed from emptiness to malice.

"I've heard that once before Ness, it's amazing how much you and your mother are so much alike. Did you run off and fall in love with a bloodsucker? Is he as sweet and kind as your father?" the acid of his words hit me hard.

"No! I didn't run off and fall in love with someone else! I'm not IN love with anyone. And I'm not exactly like my mother." For some odd reason I felt like I had to defend myself. I knew his experience with my mother in the past left a dent in his heart that never fully went away, but now it must be hurting.

"On the contrary Ness, you are exactly like your mother. She was happy with me. When your father abandoned her, she came running to me for support and started to love me. She denied her feelings just like you do." The volume of his voice was getting louder and his hands began quivering slightly.

"I'm not denying anything Jacob; I'm trying to do what's best and tell you the truth. And my mother always loved my father. There is no one else in the world that would make her half as happy as my father makes her."

"And look at the price it cost her…"

"She didn't give her human life up for my father; she gave it up for me Jacob!" I was angry now, and I felt like my hands would start shaking at any moment.

"This isn't about them anyway, this is about what's right for us." I tried to calm myself to get back to matter at hand. I didn't want to be side tracked with the past.

"Oh, but they have everything to do with it Ness! They created you! They were sick enough to go against nature, mortal and immortal!" He shook his head from side to side now like he still couldn't believe it.

"If you think that what they did was right than why is it so hard for a hybrid and a werewolf to love one another physically? Is it repulsive for you Ness?" The trembling in his hands spread to his forearms. I backed up a few inches, and I pictured my father bursting through the door at any moment.

"It's not that I don't think its right Jacob! It's just that the feelings aren't there! People need to be in love to experience that kind of relationship, and I'm not in love with you Jacob, and … I never will be!" I shouted it at him, like the point I was trying to make would sink in faster if the volume of the words were elevated.

"Here I thought you were different Ness, the moment I imprinted on you I thought that it was strange. I hated vampires because they were against nature, they are the reason I am what I am. And how could I fall in love with someone who was half leech? I wanted to kill you, I wanted nothing more than avenge Bella because I thought she was dead." Jacob's entire frame was shuddering, and as I backed away from him my back finally hit the wall behind me. At that moment the door flew open, "You need to calm down, Jacob I know you don't want to hurt her." I was grateful in an instant that my father was standing next to me now, but it was a huge mistake at the same time. Seeing Edward Cullen was the last thing that would cool Jacob down. I had made a horrible mistake, having my mother here would have calmed Jacob, not the person he in so many ways pictured slaughtering.

Jacob's shaking became worse, and he laughed, but it came out almost wicked. "No, your right, I don't want to hurt her, but you on the other hand." His posture changed from straight backed to a crouch. "NO! Jacob! Please!" I stood frozen in horror. "Ness, get out of here!" My father was not going to let me see whatever was going to happen between them, and at this point it was inevitable, Jacob was going to morph. I ran out into the hallway, my heart was racing as fast as my mind. Suddenly I heard the tear of fabric and a terrible growl that shook my ear drums.