Chapter 4:

I ran for a while ripping off my jacket and vest and shoes, pulling the ribbon out of my hair and I dry sobbed as I fell to the ground. If my heart could actually beat I know I would be a mess. It's broken…I know it is. I don't know how long I sat there but when I finally got up I knew a few days had past. I walked back the way I came as I did I picked up everything I threw and lugged it back with me to the house I'd call hell for a while since It was still next to Rosalie's house. When I walked into the front door my family swarmed me knowing what had happened in the bathroom and I fell into my mother's arms crying my heart out she held me and let me sob.

Carlisle stood above me as well as Edward and put their arms around me. I knew I was loved by everyone here but I couldn't help wish it was Rosalie that was holding me. When I couldn't cry anymore and began to close up again I slowly raised my head and looked at Esme. I kissed both of her cheeks and hugged her and she hugged me back. "maman je t'aime" (AN: Mom I love you) Esme I could feel was so shocked and I know if she could cry she would. Carlisle squeezed my shoulder thanking me and Edward patted me on the back.

I had accepted my family finally after 50 years. "I zink it's time I accepted you all. I am so sorry…" Esme squeezed me harder and understood as did Carlisle and Edward. "Don't worry dear…it's hard to give up your past." I nodded. "It's hard...zere is so much now that I wish I could take back." All of them looked at me with proud understanding and I hugged them all and then told them I'd like some time to get out of these clothes.

I walked to my room and began to run a bath as I did I threw my soiled dinner wear into a basket and put my muddy boots next to my bed I ran a hand through my tangled curls and sighed. I took off my white shirt and looked at myself in the mirror. Even with twigs and leaves in my hair and mud smudged all over I still was perfection. I began to unbuckle my pants and unravel my chest wrappings and then I heard a knock on my door. I already knew who it was so I told them to come in. Esme walked in and handed me some new clothes. "Dear…I'm sorry for what happened…it's unfortunate."

"It's okay maman…every girls 'eart has to be broken sometimes for the greater good…"

"Claire…"

I looked at her and I could see how much pain I was really in just from her eyes watching me.

"You've changed so much from the time I met you…it's hard to not see that the reason for this is because of Miss. Hale…She could be-"

"Non…don't say it…I don't want to 'ear it…please…"

Esme nodded and then came over and helped me with the rest of my clothes and led me to the bath. She began to wash my hair so I closed my eyes and got lost into the cool fingers running through my hair.

"When I was saved by your father…I had wanted to die because I had lost my child…but he saved me because he loved me the moment he saw me…I can't think of the moment I hadn't loved your father back when I opened my eyes…we didn't say it for a very long time but we knew. As do you Claire. I put my hand on her hand and she stopped talking.

"I know maman…but I won't take away 'er life from her. She wants children…she wants a husband zat will love 'er and she will be 'appy. We won't know if she is what we both zink until she is a vampire like us…I will not take 'er choice of a family away from 'er."

Esme squeezed me to her and I squeeze back.

"Claire…you are strong…I just want you to have happiness too."

"I know."

We were silent again as Esme finished washing the mud and grim away from me. I stood up and she wrapped a towel around me and put one on my head and began drying my hair.

"I miss zis…my Maman used to do zis when I was younger…she took ze most care of me because I was her eldest daughter…"

Esme stopped what she was doing and looked at my face and I smiled at her, she smiled back and then set me in front of my vanity and began to brush out my hair.

"Zank you."

"Your very welcome."

She left me to get dressed. I put on another white shirt to hide my chest which I didn't want to wrap. I put on black breeches and tied up a new pair of boots. I tucked my shirt into my pants and then tied up my hair. I walked down the stairs and was greeted with my family they all looked at me with warm smiles and I smiled back as I sat next to Edward.

"As I was saying…we may need to move on in a few days…"

I closed my eyes and sighed and Ed patted my arm. I smiled reassuringly at him and then nodded at Carlisle. Then something crazy happened. Someone knocked on our front door. We all stopped talking and looked at each other. I looked at Carlisle and he sighed.

"Rosalie's been coming by almost every day to see you."

I think my mouth has officially hit the floor at that statement.

"Do you want me to send her away?"

I shook my head. "No…I believe I need to face zis…"

They all nodded and I got up to answer the door.

I took a few minutes to compose myself and put a cold look on myself and opened the door.

Rosalie was standing there in those white gloves again holding a basket and an umbrella and wearing a beautiful blue dress again. Her hair was up with a hat sitting on her head and she took a step back with her eyes widening not expecting to see me. I couldn't help but smile a little. I saw the red reach her face. I bowed to her and she curtsied back.

"Mansour Cullen…"

I cocked my head waiting for her to continue as I gave her a cold look.

She narrowed her eyes at me thinking my jester was a bit rude.

"I would like to apologize for my actions the other night…and have brought a bit of wine and a few other things…I was wondering if you would like to take a walk with me and have a picnic by the lake."

I couldn't help but snort. She glared at me and I sighed.

"Don't you think the man should be the one to ask the lady out for a date?"

Rosalie stiffened and her face began to redden with anger and she growled.

"It wouldn't be like this if said man hadn't run out of my house faster than a skittish deer…."

I couldn't help but smile and let out a little laugh at that comment and shrugged. She had her eyes narrowed at me again.

"Well?"

"Yes m'lady I would love to go on a date wiz you."

She was shocked when I spoke in English and I bowed to her. "I am truly sorry I 'ave left in such a 'urry…"

Her posture relaxed and she scoffed as she raised her chin. "Just don't let it happen again."

I grinned and chuckled.

"Of course." She smiled beautifully at me and I put out my arm for her take which she did gladly. We began to walk after I took the basket from her.

"I really am sorry Mr. Cullen."

I smiled. "You can call me Claire if you like." My eyes widened at what I said and I covered my face.

"Claire?" she gave me a confused look.

"I am sorry…I meant Andalie…Claire is what my friends from school used to call me and sometimes my family. Since LeClaire is one of my middle names I suppose…it's easier to pronounce then Andalie…zey even sometimes say Adalie…it is complicated." I covered my mouth at my babbling and if I could blush I would be.

Rosalie began to laugh and pat my arm.

"It's okay Claire I understand."

My shoulders drooped.

"Oh…zat is very good then no?"

"Oi."

We drew into a comfortable silence I could feel her watching me.

"Claire? May I ask you something?"

"You may ask whatever you wish."

"Why did you say all that stuff to me...that night…"

I thought about a reasonable explanation without making myself sound crazy but I guess it was taking too long because Rosalie began to backtrack.

"I mean…you don't have to tell me if you don't want to but I just…"

I put a finger to her lips and I saw her blush.

"Miss Hale…"

"Please…call me Rosalie."

"Rosalie…"

We both stopped at the way I pronounced her name.

"zere are zings I wish to keep private…it is hard to explain somezing I've been able to do all my life…and why I'm drawn to you…there iz no real answer to zese questions…"

I think that answer satisfied her because we began to move again. We got to the lake and she told me there was a blanket in the basket. I set everything up and handed her a glass while I popped the wine and poured her some. And me as well even though I won't be drinking it. I set the plate of cheese and fruit next to us and then watched her.

"May I ask you somezing zen too?"

"You may."

"Why did you come almost every day to come see me…even zough you are to be wed to Royce?"

For once in my life I saw Rosalie Hale fidget. I waited for her to reply and then I saw the blush on her cheeks. Oh my god…don't tell me she's attracted to me. Merde….

"I've…I've known someone was watching over me since I was 16…I could tell they were a kind person because they protected me I've might of known longer than that but really what proof do I have…I could feel your emotions…even when you weren't really there watching me. They weren't mine…I would know. They felt different. Even the faces or the smiles on my face were different when I'm not paying attention. I didn't think you were bad…and then when you left I felt a pain in my heart I've never felt for even Royce when we've had our differences."

I looked away from her as I contemplated this and pretended to take a sip of the red wine but just let it touch my lips and pretended to swallow.

I looked back at Rosalie and she was staring at me kind of entranced. I got close to her and let her come into my vicinity. Whenever someone gets too close to our kind they become enraptured. I touched a lock of her hair and let in a big breath. My throat burned of thirst and I sighed. I moved away slowly and her body was kind of following me but then she snapped out of it.

"Claire…it's so weird…feeling like this…"

I hummed in thought.

"It is weird that you don't find calling me a girl's name weird."

She smiled and grinned. "It kind of fits you."

I chuckled. "zat is not nice to say to a gentlemen." I'm so playing this part up…

I tugged on her white gloves and looked at them quizzically. She blushed and pulled her hands away. "And touching a ladies gloves and trying to take them off is even more rude…for various reasons…"

I cocked my head to the side. "I do not know what you mean…"

She huffed at me.

"Come now Claire, don't tell me that French boarding school has made you any less classy to not know what gloves on a woman's hand signify." I looked away but she had caught my hurt and sadness.

"Zey do not have that custom over zere…and I was practically raised by the people zat worked zere Rosalie…I did not come 'ome till recently…I am sorry zat I don't know what zey signify…" I picked up the wine glass again and swirled it around In thought.

"I'm sorry…"

I shook my head.

"It is not somezing you need to worry about. I am the one in ze wrong…"

"I am sad to say zat my family and I will be moving again shortly…"

"What! Why!?"

I smiled sadly at her and she knew.

"Is it because of me?"

I didn't say anything and she didn't have to ask. I take her hand again and squeeze it tightly.

"I've always dreamed one day I would meet the person I'm fated to be with and I was hoping it was Royce. And that one day he would take off these white gloves and I would be his forever."

I felt a pain in my heart and I nodded.

"You will be."

"But now I'm not so sure…"

I looked at her and she held out her hand and I looked at it.

"Before you move I'd like to give you something of me…"

Then I saw her move to take off her glove and I jumped and put my hand over hers that was taking off the glove and looked around.

"Rosalie…it is not safe to do that…what will people zink!?"

"I don't care."

I was shocked. I looked up at her and into her eyes and she was dead set. I nodded and removed my hand. She took off her glove from her right hand. I got closer so I could shield her from passerby's and then she took off her left glove and then I was staring at her flawless hands that I've seen so many times inside her mind. I waited for her to make a move but then I realized she wanted me to. So I slowly brought my right hand to hers and touched her fingers with mine and she touched my palm with hers. My hand was a little bigger then hers and we kept our hands there and then I gracefully but slowly intertwined our fingers together. I felt a shock go up my spine but I had my eyes staring straight at our hands interwoven together.

"Your hand is beautifully ice cold on this warm summer's day…"

I nodded not looking at her.

"It's pleasant."

I finally raised my eyes to meet hers and realized how close our faces were. I looked back down not meeting her blazing gaze. I pulled our hands closer to my face and I kissed each of her knuckles in turn and then slowly untangled our fingers so our hands were mirroring each other again and then the contact was gone.

I didn't know what to say to this wonderful moment we had and she had given me…it was more than I expected before I had to leave.

I heard her sigh so I looked up and she had a look of disappointment that I let go of her hand. I smiled at her and then she put her gloves back on and then did something crazy. She hugged me it was shorter then I would have liked but then she let go and gave me a quizzical look.

"You're a lot softer then I would have thought a guy could be…."

My eyes widened and I forgot I didn't have my wrap on underneath my shirt.

"Um…well…I'm only 17 so…"

She nodded and then we began to back up. She takes my arm and I decide I'd walk her home but she refuses saying its fine if she walked home and I looked up at the dark sky.

"Are you sure? It's kind of a walk…"

"Yes I'm sure. Thank you for a wonderful time…"

And I grinned and kissed her on both of her cheeks as a French custom.

"You're the one zat invited me. I am the lucky one to have spent all day wiz you."

She blushed a beautiful red and then kissed me on both of my cheeks too. I smiled and then waved goodbye. "It's good to have at least one friend in this town." She said while walking away I smiled.

"Of course."

She stopped and then turned to face me.

"Will I ever see you again?"

I felt both of our hearts break that that statement.

"I…I don't zink so…I'm sorry…"

She put her hand to her heart. "I see…"

I wanted to do something…anything to take that look off of her face but I couldn't…If I did I knew I wouldn't leave.

I looked down and clenched my fist.

"if I tell you something personal will it be enough…"

I could feel her eyes on me. I moved to her and looked her right in the eyes.

"Remember when I said I was an angel…"

"Yes."

I leaned in and whispered into her ear so that none of my family could hear me.

"In some ways I am one…but I'm also a demon too…I don't mean to keep things from you but some things are impossible to understand. My personal thought I want to share with you is my real name…I'm not really Esme's and Carlisle son. We aren't related. My name is Adalie Laci LeClair…I just wanted you to know before I left for good…it's all I can give you. I'm sorry."

I felt her hold onto me and then I wrapped my arms around her.

I got out of her hold as slowly as I could cause if I didn't want to hurt her.

"So this is goodbye?"

"Oi…"

"I don't want you to go."

"Rose…your just saying zat…as soon as I'm out of your sight your life will go back to normal…"

"No it won't!"

I sigh and then I do something unbelievably crazy I shut her up by kissing her. She's frozen in place and then just as soon as I let her go she jumps back and away from me shaking and covering her mouth.

"I am a demon…stay away from me…go back home…you will find 'appiness wiz your family and your fiancé."

She turns around and runs off and I look at her with all the regret and love I'll have for her. I walk back inside and I'm bombarded by Esme, Carlisle, and Edward. All three of them were looking at me with such pity that I couldn't stand it.

"I'm never speaking English again…today was too much for me." They all nodded and I went to my room and lay down and closed my eyes not dreaming of anything but darkness.