Chapter 4

Bella POV

Jasper has just raped me in every sense of the word, he has raped my pussy, face and arse and then he tells me that he loves me and we will be together forever. He then holds me and waits but I am unsure what for. When I can't stay numb any longer I sit up looking at him.

"Why did you just do that to me Jasper? I don't understand how you think that what you did was ok or how you think it showed that you love me. I'm struggling to understand how rape says you love me." I say.

The look on Jaspers face is a mix between disbelief and anger.

"What do you mean Bella I didn't rape you? I wasn't rough and tried to ensure your comfort at all times even when my instinct told me to be rough I didn't want to hurt you. I ensured that you orgasm a number of times. Are you telling me that you did not enjoy the experience?" He asks.

"Jasper I know you weren't rough but I asked you not to do it and you did anyways because as far as you are concerned I am nothing but your property and you can and will rape me whenever you want. That doesn't show love it just shows what sort of monster you really are. You rape me and tell me that is what my future will hold and you have already told me that you will pass me around like the slut that you must see me as." I say

"I have never thought of you as a slut and you will not think of yourself in that way again or I will punish you. I have said I can give permission but I have not said that I will or to who. I do love you and will protect you with my life. I want you to be my wife and I will need to turn you soon as well as you always wanted." He says.

"Jasper you have decided all these things without thinking of me once, it's all about what you want. What if I don't want to be turned or be your wife? What if I want children and to grow old? What if I want to leave and never see a Cullen ever again? Would you let me leave?" I ask.

"No I couldn't let you leave it would kill me to be without you now and I would change you even against your will for the same reason. I wouldn't force you to marry me but I would like you to. Bella we are mated and even if you tried to leave the pain you would be in would probably bring you to your knees, you see the first 10 years in a newly mated couple it will be hard to be away from each other even being in different rooms will be hard and painful for us both. You really need to except that we are mates and then everything else we will be able to sort out over time." He says.

"So what you are saying is that I have no say in this now that you have raped me and that even when I try to leave you will stop me. You wont even let me be in a room without you almost like you will guard me to ensure that I don't escape so are you going to watch as you let others rape me or will you stand outside and just listen?" I ask.

"Bella watch what you are saying I'm trying to be patient with you but there are limits. I have not and never will rape you." He says.

"You already have raped me and now you are keeping me prisoner. I really am nothing but a slut for you to use and pass around aren't I?" I ask.

I know that I am pushing him but I hope he will punish me and that I can then escape. I get part of my wish.

Jasper picks me up telling me that he is doing this for my own good, he then takes me to the "room" and ties me down to the whipping bench. He has me tied in a way that my pussy and arse is on show he then attaches nipple clamps and ties these so that any movement with pull my nipples.

"Bella you will be quiet and try not to make a sound as I punish you. I will not have anyone even you call my mate a slut. I would never harm you or rape you. The sooner you except our mating the better it will be for both of us. You also need to realize that every stroke I am about to give you will also hurt me." He says.

With his speech done he started to spank my arse, pussy and upper thighs. It started out hard and painful but after a short amount of time I was able to find that place in my mind that helps to keep me safe, until this point that place always had been Jasper holding me in his arms but now it was Emmett the only male who hadn't done anything but be a big brother. I don't know how long the spanking went on for I just know that part way through Jasper asked me something and when I didn't answer he grabbed my chin and forced me to look him in the eyes and what I saw scared me.

"Jasper please just let me go." I say.

"Sorry Little Girl but Jasper's not in charge anymore you will learn to answer me and get used to being the mate of the Major is that clear?" He asks.

Tears stream down my face as I nod; I don't think I have been more scared in this house than I am now. I have only been in one situation that was worse but I couldn't think about that now or ever.

The Major then got a paddle down and gave me 20 hits on each cheek, each thigh and on my pussy. The pain was excruciating and then to complete my humiliation I lost control of myself and felt myself cum with the last hit of the paddle that landed on my clit. The Major then entered my pussy and fucked me harder than I have ever been fucked before. How he thought this would make me feel less of a slut I don't know.

When he had finished he left me tied up for short while when he did untie me I realized that if I could get under the bed at the back he wouldn't be able to reach me so as soon as he untied me and turned around I moved faster than I thought I was capable of and got under the bed and then crawled to the back.

"Bella I don't know what you think you are doing, but you need to come out so I can take care of you and ensure that you are ok." He says.

"Leave me alone I will not come out from under here until you have left me alone. Please give me the time that I need." I say.

I have to remember not to let my arse or thighs touch the floor because the pain is blinding. I need to stay on my side as far back as possible so he can't get me.

"We will both be in pain if I leave this room but maybe that is what you need to realize we are mates. I am going to leave but I will be back in one hour to tend to your needs if however you are ready before just open the door and I will come for you." He says.

With that said The Major left the room. I stayed under the bed for a time and then remembered that if I pressed the lock button that nobody could get back in to me. So I crawled out and ran to the door pressing the button, as soon as I did this I felt a little bit safer, I looked around the room and couldn't believe that the family that I thought I knew had a room like this and that they would treat their mates in such a way. The thought of being treated like this ever again let alone for the rest of my life made me throw up all over the bed. I found it hard to believe that Rose and Esme went along with this sort of relationship. The thought of having to watch your mate use someone else or punish them just made me feel ill.

I made the decision there and then that I would never be used and abused again and if the only way to do that was to leave this life then I was going to find a way to end mine.

I found a pen and paper and wrote a note to Rose and Emmett

Hi Rose & Emmett

I am sorry that my goodbye has to be in this form. I feel that everyone has done nothing but lie to me, but for some reason I know that your relationship isn't like the one that Jasper described to me.

I could never live in such an abusive way where Jasper or the Major feels it's ok to rape me repeatedly. When I woke this morning I was going to try to talk to the both of you about how violated I felt when Carlisle kissed me and about the way that he had started to talk to Esme. I had always thought of them both as my parents which I just think makes everything even worse, but before I was able to come to you Jasper came to talk to me.

I have to say the things he told me blow my mind I never thought that I would be made to enter a room of pain ever again but Jasper brought to the pain room twice.

Today I have been told I have a mate who will look after me and I couldn't have been happier because I thought that I knew Jasper and I loved that person but he then Raped me four times as well as abusing me by beating me. I am sorry but that is no life and I refuse to live like that, one thing Jasper told me was almost true the pain I now feel in my chest from being away from him is bad but not as bad as the pain I feel when I think about the way he has used me today. I have thought this through and I can only think of one way to ensure that I'm not abused and raped again so with that being said.

I love you Rose & Emmett

Sorry and Goodbye.