2.04

Danny looked at the trajectory of the bullet on the hired boat, and had a thought. He looked up and was going to bounce his idea off his partner, only to see Officer Weston there instead of Steve. With a silent sigh he looked around and stepped out of the forecastle of the boat to find him – Steve could get into God knew how much trouble on his own. Only to find him standing in the coastguard boat, grinning at Joe White.

Danny didn't really know how he felt about the older SEAL, he seemed to make Steve feel better, most of the time, but other times he worried Steve, Danny could tell from the looks on his face that he tried to hide. The Jersey detective should feel pretty good about him, he knew that, but he couldn't stop feeling left out, abandoned by his best friend.

He watched while Steve talked with White, got ready for his dive, and got his equipment checked over by the other Commander, something Danny knew he should be doing. Instead he was stuck here, on a few feet of wood that was moving with the waves, partnered with a babysitter he didn't really know, didn't really trust, watching his partner from a distance.

Obviously the great goof didn't realise just how much Danny knew him, so much so he had given everything up for him, all of his hopes for his own future, even his one chance at being a family again with his daughter.

And the only reason he had tried again with Rachel was because Steve had shown no interest in him, however much he flirted with Steve, however much he had virtually thrown himself at him.

Steve though, had eyes only for Catherine Rollins and weapons, smiling at Danny's attempts, being his friend, but nothing more.

Danny had hoped he had finally pulled away from the wreckage of his life after Rachel times two, when he and Steve had fallen into the same bed when he had been cleared, but no. Danny had spent a couple of days in the house, making sure his friend ate, slept, kept his wound clean, but just as he thought he was getting somewhere Lieutenant Rollins had turned up Steve's door, and Danny was relegated again.

With a huff the detective tried to get back to work, tried to deal with Weston while he kept half an eye on the surface of the water where his partner had disappeared, but it was difficult.

Steve really didn't get it, how could he? He had never, would probably never be in the position where the people he loved pushed him away because he wasn't good enough.

Danny didn't want him to feel it; he never wanted Steve to feel the deep ache, like a cancerous tumour eating away at his soul, pain that never went away.

He felt like he'd been stabbed in the gut the first time, and every subsequent time Steve had mentioned Catherine, or walked into HQ in the morning with an easy grin and a loose-limbed relaxed manner that screamed of a night getting laid.

Rachel had soothed that pain, for a while, but even as Danny was revelling in her newfound attention he always had the feeling in the back of his mind that he was cheating on Steve. It had been a relief really that she had gone back to New Jersey with Grace, he had been able to concentrate on Steve, getting him out of prison, clearing him and getting him home. Now though, things had gone back to the way they were, Steve surrounded by friends, happy, safe, a lover too, and Danny couldn't, wouldn't begrudge him that, he deserved it after all the crap he had been through over the last few months. If the price of that was Danny being alone again, he could pay it; he'd been alone for a couple of years already and was used to it. He was just grateful the guy knew he existed; at least he had that.

End