The breeze was so refreshing.
Me here sitting on a park swing looking annoyed into the distance of joggers and kids playing soccer.
Goten wanted to met here. I mean i didn't mind hanging out with him , it's just...
Bra brought here hands to her face cringing at the thought.
I told him , I really told someone !... I don't know why I did , I kept a secret this long... It was the ugly truth and I don't know , I feel like Goten could blackmail me or something with that information , or... Tell my brother or worst my dad !...
I shook my head I have to make sure he doesn't say a word.
I wish I could've told... Pan. A long time ago.
I remember two weeks ago when we went out and saw Pan with that girl Roxy , I was so shocked and couldn't help but wonder was this the reason she wasn't answering me. I don't know, but next thing I knew Goten had walked over there and me and my brother followed. Pan seem to care less about our presence. Her eyes were low and glassy surrounded by a bit smudge black make up. Her cheeks were red from dancing.
Her uncle pulled her to the side , and I couldn't hear what they were talking about , but he seemed less than happy and Pan was more irritated than anything and walked away swatting away her uncles hand as she stormed towards the exit. Roxy and a few other people she was with followed her not before saying bye to us. I snook a peak at trunks and he was just as puzzled.
He asked Goten was everything alright , and Goten shrugged saying he didn't know.
Back to present.
I miss him... I miss his warmth. I miss knowing he would always come back, but not no more he said he wasn't leaving his wife , but he said he will call maybe I should call him !... It's been a few weeks , we usually met up every few months our only communication is email , but he does have a cell for emergency , because of one night of my 15 year I was drunk at some party and called his house !. I wanted to see him and I wasn't going to let nothing stop me that night.
I smiled on the swing from ear to ear closing my eyes as a wind came over the park rattling the leaves and flowers.
He had came to me that night and even though he made it very clear to never call his house again , I couldn't help but notice he liked that I did it.
"Hey "
My eyes open to see non other than . I smile and wave.
"Hey "
He sat on the swing next to me.
I chuckled "don't break it "
He nudge my cheek. " how are you ?"
I swallow hard. "Umm I'm fine "
" actually I don't want you worrying about me ... Okay "
Goten looked in my eyes as I try not to wear how I felt on my face.
"Stop that girl ! I care about you " he said then quickly looked away from me and I looked away as well.
Whoa what ... The way he said you and looked away ... Did he like me ?...
"I mean we're friends right ?" He turn back to me cheeks just a bit red
Oh my gosh , no this is this is not good.
I stood up. "I'm thinking of calling him , maybe he wasn't thinking straight when he said those things I did just tell him...something that caught him by surprise "
Goten looked at me in way I never wanted to be looked at.
So I just walked away trying to get to my car, but of coarse he followed.
"Bra so your going to go back to that pedophile "
I turn to him , clearly letting my angry and embarrassment show. "Don't call him that it's not like that ! ..." I turn away from Goten open my car door as he stopped chasing me.
"Then go ahead go crawling back to that sicko"
I closed my door my chest was filled was hurt anger embarrassment and insecurity. I just drive away.
This is so wrong , I felt so dirty , why did I tell Goten. I guess if nobody knows then it doesn't really exist , but now someone does and I feel like everyone knows and all the bad details and facts about our affairs are 100 times as darker than before. His marriage ,my age when it began ,and his position at CC.
I park and capsule my car as I go to my apartment throwing my stuff on the couch and headed straight towards my bedroom bathroom.
I can barley breath ,looking not really any wear but at my shower floor while the words "Pedophile ,sicko ,and crawling back "plague my brain like a ugly headache.
I grab my phone from my pocket and text to his emergency number.
"I miss you " I sent
Seconds went but like forever minutes ticked away like infinity.
So I lower myself to call
It rung
It rung
It rung
It rung
It rung
And voice mail.
I cry angrily out loud and throw my phone somewhere behind the toilet and in my rage I turn my whole body looking wildly around I guess for an explanation ,but all I saw was me.
Standing there looking back at myself.
I stop and stare at myself. I felt so dirty and so cheap that he couldn't even text me back !...
I turn on the shower to its hottest temperature and step in fully clothed letting water run on myself head to toe I power up my energy and the clothes melted right of I sit on the floor and hug my knees crying my sad little heart out.
I'm so ashamed of my life right now.
Goten couldn't like me , it's wrong. He was pretty good looking and funny and nice. I felt a burning in my heart. No way I couldn't and im pretty sure he thinks so low of me right now.
...
After just sitting the water for an hour I got out dressed in whatever joggers and a tank top. I didn't do my hair it was a crinkled blue mess. Sitting on my couch I hear my door bell.
I look at the door for a while...
No it couldn't be ... It's probably just my red bottoms.
I get up and walk over the door and open it.
I'm taking my surprise to see Goten.
"Go .. Got"
I'm interrupted mid Surprise by him grabbing each side my head and slamming me in my wall. Which is another lips are on mine and my hands are awkwardly on the wall. His kissing me.
Goten is kissing me.
He pulled away but his head is still on my forehead.
"Look I know you just got out of some shit that has your head and heart all fucked up , but your too damn beautiful to let some asshole suck all of you away. "
Maybe it Was what I needed to something in me broke and Goten kissed me again and I kissed him back.
He pulled away from me and left me there.
My face were red.
What have I done kissing Goten ?.
That was not okay.
,but he kissed me.
...
Trunks
He had invited Marron over to his house, and she came. They had been hanging out and goofing around up until Bra came storming in bumping into him in the hall way.
"Did she look okay to you ?"
Marron shrugged. "Yeah"
Trunks looked after his sister.
"Hey you okay ?"
"Yeah.. Well no Im worried about Bra and... Pan "
"What about them"
"Pans with some girl... Spending alot of time with her your friend.. Roxy.
"Wow I didn't peg her to be curved... Well what I can say Rox loves the ladies... and can be persistent"
"Its just weird you know We spend almost every weekend together "
Marron study his face as he stared off.
"Gotens different to... But at least They're my friends they're strong minded... Bra I don't know where her head is... "
Marron eyes fluttered softly upon talking of his sister to her.
"Sometimes I feel she doesn't have brain or so transparent that it hides whats really going on like its an act "
Marron bit her lip and grabbed his hand.
"Trunks you have to let go" she whispered
"I can't i guess I think shes still 6 years old "
"Shes defiantly not... Maybe its just a phase shes going throughmarron stop talking. "Maybe I don't know what Im talking about I don't know her"
Trunks looked over at her. Marrons short hair cut in the air in front of her face with her neck and upper body sleek and slender. grabbing neck and he kissed her on the lips. He pulled away.
She looked at him. He was like nothing she ever seen before she wanted him wanted to grabbed hold of him and next that want was the question what was he going to do with me. She barley knew him but the strings were holding for dear life but still attaching. She was never on the offensive with him. He was basically still a stranger to her that she happened to lose her Vcard to. His face confident body smooth tan and muscular. Eyes looking at me as if they were saying I can fuck you right no or completely ignore you. His face was so hard and structured with perfection he inherited from his parents. Marron eyes soften in need and she touched his jaw softly looking in his eyes.
She took the bait and now she were hooked.
Im frozen holding his face looking at him hoping he could read me i dare not say it to him. Could he see the paragraphs saying touch me the sentences shouting love me the pages screaming for him to touch. God just touch me Trunks.
I think he gets it. Bra is far from both our minds right now.
I wanted his hands on me.
Ring ring his phone rung on the nught stand.
I grab hid hand closing my eyed kissing his palm pleading with him to touch me.
He stood up making sure took look me in the eye as he did so slowly. He pulled the shirt over his head cutting the eye contact I wanted his chest on mine.
"Undress "
My shyness is gone my bodys going too crazy right now to care. I lift up my dress pulling it over my head then sitting back down on his bed. All I had on were my panties no bra.
I think he enjoyed that.
He walks to me bottomless and hovers me.
"Lay down"
I lay back cold from being naked and from cold from him. He grabbed my waist and flipped me over on my front side he grabbed a fist full of my hair.
His weight on top of as his lips go to my ear. Thrusting me constantly from behind his still pulling my hair with perfect amount of pressure. "This what you wanted ?"
I nodded. I was Ashamed not knowing what sex was and finding out having Trunks take control of me wanting him to do it...was an insecurity to me and abnormal.
I laid on his bed looking outside the window while her laid in front of staring at me. The lights from the blinds shined a crossed my eyes only my eyes my lip curled on the sheets as i keep my hands warm under my chest between me and the bed.
He grabbed the side of my face. "Just tell me next Time... You can ask me anything "
I look in his eyes a bit faintly fluttering my lashes. Everything in his large room felt real even though he seem to be unreal.
Ring ring.
He shuffle in the be to get his phone with his side my face. I lightly kiss the bare skin ass he answers the phone.
"Wait wait slow down here I come"
Trunks shot up dressing quickly our moment ruin.
"What is it ?" I asked sitting up covering myself with sheet.
"Pan shes in trouble "
I watch him get jeans a sweater his boots.
"Trunks " i say faintly.
He puts on his shirt button his jeans.
"Trunks ?"
"Your leaving me here in your mothers house ?"
I stood up holding the sheet. "Im going home "
I waited for this day he kept his distance from since that night going out with his sister and Goten, he finally came around after two weeks of light hearted text.
He admittedly stop dressing and darted to me grabbing my waist.
"I'm sorry I know this was our day its been a while..."
I were still pissed and wanted to get out of her.
"Look get dress come with me it"..."we're technically still together " he smiled cheeky at me.
I put back on my dress tights coat hate shoes and gloves once we're ready he grabs my hand.
We sat in a truck as he tap on his phone the pulled out the garage. The snow was light today. There was a stop sign and he grab my hand holding it.
"What are you plans this week?"
"School I have to update my portfolio "
"For modeling ?"
She nodded. "Its nothing special just my friend Josh is shooting it in his apartment "
"Thats exciting "
"Yeah I need an agency a real one I just been Instagram modeling after these shots I'll go to a few"
"Sounds important "
Marron felt like she was babbling about something he didn't want to hear I mean I'm a struggling model who wants to talk about that.
Trunks went a shady house on a dark street. He sighed looking at this bullshit what the hell Pan ? He wonder angrily but also wanting to get her out of that.
"Marron stay in the car lock the door "
She looked at him then nodded he walked away into that ratchet house she locked the door.
Trunks walked into that house and he were shocked at what he saw.
"Pan ?" He called seeing a dark haired girl on the floor he shook her and turned her over to see it wasnt her he kept walking to the hall.
"Pan ?"
She wasn't there.
He opened a door and saw her sitting on a bed.
He went to her sitting next to her.
"Are you okay ?!"
Pan nodded.
"What happen?"
"I just don't. Shes with some guy "
"What ?" Pan wasn't making a bit of sense"
"I had dream I was flying I were a little girl and I was slow and I was crying through the night by myself "
Trunks just hugged her.
"I didn't mean to call you Trunks... I couldn't call grandpa"
"Hey no Im glad you did look at this place you weren't raise in place like this with people like this come on I'm taking you out of here"
He stood up helping her.
Pan didn't called him because she couldnt breath after seeing roxy with that guy it confused her after everything her and Roxy did.
When they got outside she felt really embarrassed that Trunks had seen her like that at this house. What was she thinking?.
Pan saw Marron in the front seat she didnt know he was with her ?. Are they together now ?. She got in the back. She totally felt bad if they were on a date.
"Um Hi Marron right ?"
"Yeah Hi" Marron didnt know
Trunks got in and drove away.
The most awkward ride of my life.
He took us to his moms place.
Oh no I had to get out of there I felt like a charity case plus I was a little out of it.
"Well Im going to go thanks guys "
"You sure ?" Trunks asked her he wanted to talk to her more find out whats going on in her life.
"Yeah totally I umm take a cab you "
"Pan I can drive you "
"I feel bad enough to interrupt you guys night"
"Its no big deal"
She smiled at Trunks. "Dude Im fine seriously "
"At least come inside its cold have some coffee"
"Trunks I think she knows what she wants" Marron stated the poor girl kept denying all of Trunks offers he didnt take the hint Pan wanted to be alone
"Thanks and umm nice seeing you again "
"Nice seeing you " Marron replied and they both went into the house.
"Be careful " he told her after the door closed
Trunks didnt understand why she would want to wait in the cold like a crazy person it felt wrong to leave her out there. He had questions for her too like why was she at that place.
Going back into his room.
"That was strange " Said Marron.
Trunks took off his jacket. "She has problems okay"
"She barley said anything, you find her in an abandonment and she just leaves to call a cab Why didn't she call one in the first place"
"I think her and Rox were having trouble she was just mumbling things I just want to help her"
"Maybe she needs professional help "
Trunks looked at her. "Did you ever hear a cab?"
Trunks looked out the window and there she was outside staring up at it with a soft face. She blushed and gasp upon being caught and ran.
Trunks ran from the window then outside into the snow barefoot.
"Pan ?" He shouted.
She was gone.