Just hours ago, Jessica had awkwardly told me something I couldn't help pondering on now. I remember her putting her hand on my shoulder and chuckling unconvincingly as she told me, "Don't grieve for someone who doesn't deserve your pain."
Thinking about it after some hours, sitting there on my new bed, in my new room, I couldn't help but wonder that if grieving really was a weakness. Then so was cowardice — the cowardice for grieving.
Sitting there looking at the marvellousness of the room, looking at myself in the large grand mirror above the bed, I couldn't help but wonder who the coward was. I for grieving, or Jessica for being afraid.
I sighed as I looked away from the mirror, my hair looked windswept — borderline bird's nest. Running must have really done a number to my hair.
I sighed.
The pit in my stomach told me I was grieving. I was homesick and missing my dad's my mom, my friends. Even Forks and the rain. I was grieving for the progress I had just made before Alice has walked back into my life. Before I had let my compassion drop ass first into the vampires' suicidal battlefield and then backfire on my face. Now here I was.
As I sat up on the bed, my eyes roamed around the luxuriously magazine worthy room again before they settled down on my open palms. I was going to die here. In this castle. In this country, I didn't call my own. With beings that weren't my species and with a soulmate that absolutely hated me.
"I believe you know Caius is your soulmate," the deep drawl and a thick accent I couldn't categorize erupted from the silence of my room.
I stilled, my breath hitched in my throat as I whirled around and spotted the large dark-haired vampire standing just inside the doorway. My large duffle bag lazily dangling from his hands. I got out of bed in a second.
He smiled at me when our eyes made contact, "No need for curtsies. You may simply call me Marcus. I feel an affinity to you, my dear."
"Yes... sir," He told me to call him Marcus but I couldn't push it out of my mouth. My tongue suddenly felt swollen and I almost bit off my own cheeks trying to speak.
"Would you mind telling me how you recognised the bond, my dear?" The tall, dark-haired King asked, looking quite inquisitive as he walked further into the room, the large black robe glistened perfectly in contrast to his dark red orbs.
"Once Rosalie tried to tell me how she felt for Emmet. They're real mates."
This seemed to make Marcus even more curious, he settled down on a sofa a few steps away from the bed, placing my duffle bag beside him, "Why did you stay with Edward when you know what it really felt like touching your mate?"
"Edward and I didn't touch all that much," I felt myself blush, "And... I thought it could be different for everyone."
"Interesting," Marcus nodded, looking like he was analysing my thoughts about the situation.
"Er... sir..." I cleared my throat, for a second thinking against asking him the question. But it was too late, Marcus' attention darted right to me and I knew I had to ask now, "Does he know?"
The King in question remained sitting on the sofa, regarding me with a peculiar look before he finally cleared his throat and responded, "I believe he knows, my dear. It is quite difficult not to know when you're a vampire."
I gulped, nodding. Maybe that's why he let me live. No, he knew the instant he saw me and the first words he had said was to his guards, he had told them to kill me.
"Does he know that I know?" I asked again, flicking the hem of my shirt with my fingers in my nervousness.
"He does not," Marcus smiled this time,
"Good." A dark voice in my head muttered at that. I liked it this way. If I pretended like I didn't know about the bond then he wouldn't have to show obligatory affections or whatever it is he wanted to show me. I could live in this corner and he could live in whatever corner he wanted to. As long as I didn't have to endure his hatred again.
"You seem quite happy about his obliviousness," Marcus tilted his head to the side, his expression ever the curious one.
"I am," I nodded, looking away from the king and outside the tall windows in the room. It looked hot outside — funny, it was freezing inside the castle.
"Why, may I ask?"
"Honestly I don't want a soulmate who wants me dead and hates me. So I'll pretend he's not my soulmate if that's okay?"
It wasn't a question. I was still going to pretend like he was nothing to me with or without King Marcus' opinion. And technically I wasn't wrong — who was King Caius in my life? No one. I barely know the vampire.
"I believe what fuelled his anger when he first realised you were his mate was the reason for your visit here — the mere fact that you would risk your life for another vampire infuriated him. I am not making any excuses, my dear. But Caius is one with tremendous temper. That is the makes of him."
It was all so confusing. I didn't know what to do. Here I had flown all the way to another country, hundreds of miles away from my home — only to have my entire life changed. Now I was to be a vampire but I could never see my family and friends again. And if that was not worse enough, the fates had dropped me on the laps of a hateful, temperamental demon vampire king. Caius Volturi. I wanted to jump right out of the window I had been looking at a while ago.
What was the point of living anymore? Everything was gone. I wanted to chuckle. As if everything had been okay before Edward had walked into my life anyway. I had grown up with a mother who was more a child than I was, assuming that my father never cared enough to stick around with us. That my father chose a stupid sleepy wet town over his own family. It felt so embarrassing to say it, but it was true — that was what I had raised myself up thinking. Maybe I had raised my mother sometimes there too.
The cooking, the cleaning, the bills. All of it I took care of. I'd started doing part-time jobs as soon as I could because Ranee liked to enjoy her life and most of her money went there as well. I wanted to have money on the side just in case we ever needed it. Going to movies with friends? Attending high school parties? I'd never known any of that. I was too busy being an adult because Ranee was too busy pretending to be a youth. I couldn't blame her though — she had never been a bad person. She had not once hit me or scolded me. There was always money to pay the bills and food in the pantry. I realise now that she treated me more like a friend than a daughter. At that point, I felt it was cool and so did my friends, but looking at it now... I wish she would have scolded me sometimes, grounded me sometimes too. Looking at it now, I wanted a mother, not a friend.
Then she had found the love of her life, Phil. He was a great guy, he never treated me badly as well. When they began making plans for expanding their family, I suddenly felt like I didn't belong there. Ranee now had a new family and I felt like I was tying her down. That, and maybe I felt a little bitter that my future step-siblings were going to get a mother I never had. I came back to Forks, not really to stay with my father but mostly to give Ranee a wedding gift — her freedom.
In Forks, I felt the first form of parenting. Although Charlie was quite rusty at it, at least he tried. I guess, although, by that time I didn't know how to deal with a parent anymore. I was better with friends. People I didn't have to hold accountability to. I guess that's why I treated Charlie so poorly because I had been my own parent for so long. I made my decisions on my own.
Then Edward flew into my life with his family like the chilly summer night's breeze through the window. His family had Esme. She treated me differently — like a mother should and not a friend. I didn't know how quickly I melted into their hands like butter but for the first time, I felt like I had a complete family. Then they left too.
Their absence showed me how much Charlie tried for me. For a daughter who refused visits for years but dropped by just because she wanted to give her mother her freedom— not because she wanted her dad. I had wrecked havoc in Charlie's life and yet he tried to be a father. After the Cullens, I had gone through hell and so had Charlie — with me.
I was a piece of shit. Forget family, even my best friend had left me. I was such a selfish piece of shit.
Things were getting better though, weren't they? Hadn't I started to improve? Hadn't I promised I'd do Charlie better? And yet I'd still jumped on a plane and flown all the way here for a vampire that hadn't even been here for me. Abandoned Charlie once again to make a mockery out of myself here.
Now here I was, stuck in this damned boiling country with a vampire who loathed me as my soulmate. A soulmate who wanted to kill me.
There really was nothing to live for anymore. All throughout my life I had been abandoned one way or the other. Charlie had let me go with Ranee— I wish he had kept me from the start. Ranee hadn't stopped me from moving out — she hadn't even tried to stop me even once after I had told her my decisions. The Cullens had left. Jacob had left. Caius wanted me dead.
How was I going to spend the rest of my existence with a hateful man the heavens had thought was perfect for me? Considering how he could hate me so much, his soulmate. One day even he would throw me away. No. I would do better six feet under the earth instead.
"I think I'm going to commit suicide," I wondered out loud. Glancing at the vampire king with dark hair, "I cannot live like this. I cannot live with someone like him. He will kill me anyway. I might as well beat him to it."
Marcus looked scandalised — stunned by my words.
"You want to end your life because you're mated to Caius?"
"I wish I had met someone else. Someone who at least has the capacity to love me," The answer was a thoughtless, wistful wish of a teenage girl who had her heart broken but was still gripping desperately to the idea of a love that lasted. I felt guilty saying it, but that's how I felt, "I don't want to live the rest of my life with him. He hates me! All my life I've been abandoned by people I've cared for, and have in return ended up abandoning the only person who cared enough to stick around. My dad. Now I'm stuck here with this... this predicament. I'd rather go peacefully. Please send my body back to my dad. Call it a hiking accident."
By the end of my pleading, Marcus was sitting on my bedside beside me instead of the sofa. He extended the duffle bag towards me. An unreadable expression on his face, "Here."
Startled, my eyes darted back and forth between the bag and the vampire now looming over the bed.
"Thank you," I mumbled finally, reaching forward hesitantly before pulling the bag closer until it was pressed against my chest.
I blinked. Then blinked again.
Was this a joke? I had just told him I was going to kill myself, and he handed me my bag? Did he want me to jump with this too?
"Call your father. Tell him you're well and that you'll be home by the end of the week."
I felt faint. King Marcus... King Marcus said I would be home by the end of the week? Did he really mean it?
"Do you really mean it?" I almost choked on my own words, forgetting who was sitting in front of me as I leaned forward, a hopeful expression on my face.
"You have yet to complete your education. I believe you should at least get a degree before you are turned,"
"Okay," The words spilled out of my mouth as if on reflex, despite my reservations, the slight ray of hope couldn't help but shine through me involuntarily. My quick to trust trait was going to get me killed someday.
Looking at the vampire King's twinkling blood eyes, I stilled again. A sudden thought clouded my mind. How was I going to call him without a sim card from here?
"I'll email him until I can get a SIM card here," I mumbled, pulling out my phone and Alice's pocket WiFi from my laptop, I prayed that it would work enough for me to send Charlie and email.
Taking an awkward picture, I began typing away.
"You know the people who commit suicide aren't the people who end up dead," Marcus's deep, quiet voice cut through the silence just as I began pressing on send. My eyes lifted and met him.
My fingers on the keyboard froze. My eyes snapped to the vampire King's and I almost failed to contain myself from crying. I knew he was right the moment I heard him. I knew exactly what he was talking about.
"If you kill yourself, your mother and father will spend the rest of their lives just as good as they were dead. Perhaps your father will commit suicide as well," He continued, his voice had a touch of breezy indifference, but his eyes told me he cared. Was that strange? He barely knew me, and he cared.
"Everything that looks extremely difficult at first glance, you will soon come to understand is quite easy if you try your hand at it. I believe there was a time when you found an awful lot of things difficult, and yet here you are quite accomplished in most of those matters, am I correct? Haven't you been doing wonderfully so far?"
Had I? I blinked. I had, hadn't I?
"I can't live with King Caius. I'm a hundred percent sure he'll end up killing me or hurting me in some other way because he hates me so much."
The laughter that rung through the walls of the bedroom was rich and melodious. This was a laugher fit for a king. I secretly apologised to King Aro, quietly thanking my luck to have kept my mind closed to King Aro as well.
"Have you ever seen Rosalie or her mate hurt each other?"
I hadn't. I shook my head, "No."
"Soulmates are incapable of severely hurting their mates. He won't kill you. He cannot. He doesn't want to."
"Severely?" I cringed, "So he can keep mistresses or slap me as long as it does not kill me?"
Marcus cocked an eyebrow up, "Mistresses? What made you have that idea?"
"He's a King, and he's male. It's a little obvious," I shrugged.
That invoked another laugh out of the King and I felt myself smiling with him as well.
I tilted my head to the side and studied the older King for a second before he caught me. My smile brightened, "You should laugh more often, sir."
Marcus' laughter died down and he looked away, his eyes caught a whimsy look I often found on Charlie's own eyes. Slowly, he turned towards me again.
"Believe in Caius and your bond, my dear. Without each other you are incomplete. Believe me, I have had the greatest love and I have lost too. Life is meaningless without her."
I had seen them before, the Volturi. I had heard about them too. When Edward had shown me their pictures and told me about the rulers of their race, I suppose it had built a very frightening image of the three rulers in my mind. When Edward had told me about the Volturi, I suppose I had let my imagination run wild. Or maybe it was he who had let his run. Regardless, from the explanations I had received from Edward about the Volturi's legacy, their tales, and their personalities, there was always a reason to be suspicious of the vampires. Of course, that and their eating habits. That definitely was not in my favour.
Two days had passed since I had so foolishly flown thousands of miles to save a suicidal ex-lover only to fall into the devilish arms of my soulmate instead. Two days, and I had not seen a single drop of rain. Two days, and I had not seen my devil of a soulmate as well. So much for him finding me inseparable and all that. I scoffed.
Still, it wasn't that bad. Yes, breakfast, lunch, and dinner were almost a lonely sort of affair, I was the only one at the table. And yet the meals had been prepared, the effort had been made to keep me fed. And for that I was grateful.
King Marcus made rounds whenever he seemed bored of the mundane activities occurring in the throne room. Even King Aro asked for my company once every day in those two days. He veiled it as having an interest in the sleepy town of Forks where I am from but I knew from the comforting hand squeezes he gave me that he also wanted to see if he could read my mind. I realised something from those incidences though, King Aro really had trust issues.
Jane also introduced her twin brother, Alec, to me. I found myself wondering in open fascination while the three of us played cards, about how gifted both the siblings were — gifted, and deadly.
I had even seen that vampire who had stopped me from leaving in the first place — Demetri. He seemed... nice. Observant and quiet. I found that I liked him keeping his distance. Truthfully he scared me. He was larger than Emmet was. And Emmet was quite large.
It wasn't unusual that the Cullens' descriptions of the Volturi were partial — marred through years of dust collecting on their memories, and their very own personal opinions about the rulers. I couldn't blame them. Everyone had an ability of impartiality. It was a shame though that I had also attached some preconceived ideas about the Volturi through the Cullen's opinions.
It was almost always hot in Volterra. The funny thing, though, was that only last year I had haughtily gone about declaring my love for hot and dry climates. And yet sitting here by the window trying to settle in the denser air of Volterra I actually missed the rain of Forks. I missed the rain, the fog, the dense woods. It wasn't nearly as green here as I realise that I liked it to be. But there was a soulmate. A scoff left my lips at the thought of the lethal blonde King — much difference that made anyway. He had been ignoring me ever since the first day in the throne room.
Standing near the window, my eyes gazed over the tiny dots of light down below me, spreading across the scene like stars on the ground while I stood near the window and prayed for another comforting nightly breeze. Thankfully it was a little chillier during the nights. I would have died if it was always had hot as it was during the day. A relieved sigh left my lips when a chilly breeze hit me flush against my body and I felt myself lean against the window.
Silently, I was extremely thankful that Alice had been the one to shove all the clothes into a suitcase while I had made dinner for Charlie — clothes that allowed me to survive in the intense heat. Even right now, standing by the window I wore only short cotton shots and a loose tank top. Anything else would have felt like torture. I didn't even think I'd need the blanket tonight.
The knock on the door, just then, almost jolted me out of my peaceful bubble and my eyes darted to the wristwatch when I checked the time.
12:32 AM
I frowned, my mind ran over who would be at the door at this hour. For a second I almost thought — but then I squished that thought under my bare feet. That wasn't possible. I had been ignored for two days. Still, cautiously I began making my way towards the door.
Each step towards the large wood made me question why I was on my to opening the doors of my room at twelve in the night in a house full of vampires. However, that only made me scoff harder. As if a murderous vampire needed to knock to be let in. As convenient as that trait would have been to us humans — that only belonged to the fictional pages of books and TV screens.
My hand wrapped around the knob, and I hesitatingly turned it under my grip and pulled the door open. His blond hair glowed under the lights of the long corridor, forming almost a halo-like glow as he stood beyond the doorway, regarding me silently. I couldn't help but feel my whole body freeze instantly at the sight of him. My eyes widened as I stared at the vampire standing at my door.
"You're not sleeping,"
I blinked, watching the stoic looking vampire looking down at me with an unreadable expression. The black largeness of the cloak covering his shoulder stood to only make him appear more apprehensive as he loomed over me with his towering height. The cloak flowed until it pooled around his feet.
I shuddered under his sharp red gaze, desperately shifting on my feet nervously in front of him.
"A fact you obviously knew,"
Looking quite indifferent, King Caius swept into the room, slipping right past me as he did so. His cloak brushed against the cotton of my boxer shorts and a tank top and I couldn't help but shiver with the ominous chill that suddenly seemed to possess the entire room.
"Tomorrow my brother, Aro, will ask you whether you wish to complete your studies in Forks—"
My heart sped with the hope of returning home, a smile forming on my lips as I silently blessed King Marcus for really talking to Aro about it and King Marcus and King Aro for allowing me to go back home. Of course I knew Caius wouldn't want that. Didn't he want me dead?
I beamed. Even though I knew it wasn't permanent — the thought of being with Charlie for a longer period of time, to at least be able to complete my education — it seemed like a blessing. Suddenly I was secretly grateful that I was Caius' soulmate. At least something good came out of it.
"—You will decline,"
My breath hitched in my chest. I blinked as I turned to face the young, angry king. Suddenly he looked very volatile. I really hoped King Marcus was right about soulmates not being able to hurt each other.
"What right do you have to order me around?"
"Do you really wish to know?" The angry Volturi King hissed, suddenly towering over me again until I felt myself almost bend back a little.
Not being able to help myself, I gritted my teeth as I glared back at the Volturi King — ire already beginning to boil in my veins, "Get out of my room."
"This is my house," The blonde vampire's sarcastic drawl only made me more irritated. Meanwhile, he slowly began leaning forward, making me bend backward as well until I almost felt my legs go — crazily I reached out and grasped his cloak to keep me upright, crazily his arm slipped around my waist immediately, pulling me up to safety.
"Let me go," I breathed, suddenly not being able to think all too much. He smelt divine. I clutched to his cloak harder.
"From one vampire to another," King Caius' bitter laughter suddenly rung around the entire room and I felt myself freeze. Unperturbed, the blond devil continued, "Fleeting thing aren't you."
I wanted to die again. The embarrassment hanging off of my soul at that point was unbearable. Maybe because he was right. I had climbed up from Edward to him. I wanted to cry. Or scream at me for such a cold accusation. I hadn't chosen this. I hadn't chosen anyone to frolic their way into my life and then break me down like that.
Still, I managed to hold myself off as the vampire inspected my face for any expression, any sort of reaction. I thought I saw his eyes glint when he found none. He was upset that I wasn't jumping and shouting slurs at him. That made me want to punch him.
Oh yes, I knew that out of all of the three kings, the one God had decided to shove on my lap was the most ruthless one. He didn't run from the monster that was within him like Edward did. Like, I noticed, even King Aro and Marcus did. That in itself made him the most unpredictable King. The one most likely to kill me just because he wanted to. Had I not been his soulmate.
Therefore, I didn't care to keep my mouth in check, "You're very wrong there. I plan on going back home and falling in love with a human. In fact, I think there's one waiting for me to love him back for ages."I smiled at the vampire, feeling triumph rush through my veins when I heard the guttural growl rumbling in his chest.
"We'll see about that, human," Caius but out after a while of staring down at me. His voice was almost a sneer by the time he reached human. I breathed in a shaky breath of relief when just as quickly as he had swept in, he swept out, his cloak brushing against me one again.
The rest of the night seemed to stretch by quite lazily as I lay on the bed, unable to sleep. I didn't even notice when I finally fell asleep in that very position, lying above the sheets, sprawled across the bed. It had come like a thief, quickly and with light feet.Still, I was thankful it had finally found me. I was sure I would need it the next day.
The next morning came like a long lost lover returning back home after years of being away. Startling and slightly strange and foreign by the feel and yet so lovingly familiar. The remnants of sleep still lingered against my skin as I found myself crawling towards the bathroom. It was definitely going to be a difficult morning.
Indeed I was right. Seated on my bed, a plate of scrambled eggs and toast on my lap, I almost cried while forcing myself to have so much patience just to sit there while Jane continued to slowly braid another small portion of my hair.
Finally done, bringing both sides behind my head, she softly secured them in a loose hold together. The rest of my hair curled over my shoulders. I wasn't exactly a fan of braids.
"For a human, you do have very beautiful hair, Isabella," Jane complimented me as she walked to the dressing table and placed my hairbrush there softly. I smiled in thanks at the girl and placed the half-forgotten breakfast beside me on the bed.
Despite her initial aggravation towards not being able to use her gift on me — I was thankful that we had become fast friends.
"Why am I being called to the throne room?" I asked Jane, although I knew quite well why he was calling me. I had thought about that exact reason most of the night, unable to sleep peacefully. I was also quite sure that all the vampires in the entire castle knew about my late night visitor yesterday — and that I knew exactly why I was being called.
Still, Jane let my faux ignorance — maybe to amuse me.
"You shall find out in a moment. Patience Bella, is a virtue," Jane smiled softly, instantly ages vanished from her face and the innocent teenager shone through the ancient immortal soldier. Jane Volturi had a very beautiful smile.
"Too much of a virtue becomes a vice, didn't you know?" I winked back at the girl, causing her smile to widen. Yes, she really did have a beautiful smile.
Walking down the tall gothic hallways, I almost sighed out of relief as we finally reached our destination. The tall double door's immediately pulled open and I could only glance back once to check if Jane was following behind, before looking back at all three of the Kings seated on their thrones.
My eyes sought King Marcus before anyone else, his warm smile made a small smile of my own light on my lips. Slowly I turned towards King Aro, noticing his hands outstretched as he stood from his seat and began walking towards me.
Immediately his hands found mine and I noticed a glint of wondrous delight in his eyes when he once again failed to read my mind before he slowly left my hands and moved back.
"You are a remarkably fascinating girl, Isabella." Aro chuckled as he settled back into his throne.
I shifted on my feet awkwardly before managing back a reply, "Thank you."
King Aro smiled at me pleasantly from this throne, and I almost thought I saw King Caius scoff from his.
"I'm sure you must be wondering why we have requested your presence so early in the morning, today. We have a proposition we thought we'd offer you. Would you be interested in hearing it, Isabella?" Aro almost shone with the brightness in his being, and for a second I wondered how similar he and Alice seemed to be in personality. Both bright, bubbly, both cunning and dangerous. Deadly.
My eyes instantly turned towards Marcus', and seeing him nod in the softest manner I turned to Aro and spoke again, "Yes, please."
"Our proposition stands, Isabella, that you may be allowed to return back to Forks to complete your high school education. You may also get a college education if you wish. After which you will return to Voltura — " I thought I noticed King Aro glance at Caius before he continued, "— and remain here indefinitely."
"By indefinitely... you mean—"
"Yes," Marcus cut in, his warm voice made to give me assurance. But my heart began thumping harder against my chest anyway, I didn't know if I wanted to be a vampire anymore. It seemed like a bitter thought still, when I thought about it — I was clearly not Edward's mate, Tanya was. The bastard had played me for a fool. I let out a long breath and continued to stare at my feet. I wondered if I would be bonded to him after I became a vampire — I was his singer. I really didn't want to risk it.
"Well, what do you say?" Are asked excitedly as he clutched to the armrests of his throne.
Suddenly it felt like the whole throne room had gone silent, the Volturi guards were almost as silent as if they were never even there. I gulped. All three kings were giving me their undivided attention.
I began weighing my options. It wasn't clear what would happen if I refused, but it was clear what would happen if I didn't, and the pain of not seeing Charlie if I refused haunted my already wounded heart. If I had to die, I wanted to make things right with my father. I wanted to be his daughter. Something I never really truly was after I had moved from Phoenix. I'd deal with the vampire angle of later.
The sharp piercing glare coming from the direction of a certain blonde King began encroaching into my head and I almost winced when I remembered King Caius' order. It seemed like a battle. Bowing before Caius, or my heart's true wishes.
I took a slow breath in before releasing it with a shaky sigh, ignoring the almost furious blond King on Aro's side I looked straight at a waiting King Aro and nodded.
"I accept,"