Unbelievabley Desperate: Well isn't that just Peachy?
A/N: I'm very very afraid and concerned about my humor. It seems to have flown away and gone to live with my friend, Kyle. Because, when I'm with her, that's when my humor comes out. Strange, maybe. Annnnyway, I'm very very bored because no one ever talks to me on MSN, because they are all too busy playing World of Warcraft, but once I get my net I shall join them!
In the meantime, if any of you want to chat about random crap (Hey, it's who I am) add me on Sassy underscore Vixen at hotmail dot com...hehe dot...Oo
Ok...Just read the fic!
Warning: I editted it by myself, so if theres any mistakes, tell me in the review and i'll fix em.
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"NAAAAAARUUUUUUUUUUUUTOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" came a high pitched screech, sounding like a million chalk, twigs, sharp nails etc were scraping against a chalkboard, car paint, metal, paper. (Seriously, I just named all the crap that makes me shudder.)
Naruto's eyes slowly flickered open and a feeling as though the skin of his nostrils were splitting apart hit him hard, almost like the awesome punch Ryuu had gave the night before, which literally rearranged his face.
"S-sakura-chan?" he yawned, rubbing his prettiful blue eyes...(Hmm...someone shoot me now. I'm starting to think Naruto is cute!!!! ...not as cute as the Uchiha boys though...)
"Morning Dobe..." Sasuke called casually, walking in rather 'cool' and 'hip' as Gai-sensei would describe.
"DON'T YOU DARE CASUALLY 'MORNING DOBE' HIM. DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?!" Sakura screamed, almost bringing the house down while Naruto and Sasuke blocked their ears.
"Er, yes. Your son smashed my face with your 'super strength' THANK YOU VERY MUCH!" Naruto spat back, with implied playfulness, if you even call that playful.
"I don't give a flying frick that your face was smashed in and that MY tampons are-wait a tic...MY TAMPONS! WHERE'D YOU GET THOSE?"
"I HAVE NO FREAKIN' CLUE. I WAS KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS!...but if I don't get it out soon, my nostril is going to split." Naruto said, saying the last part rather calmly while fumbling around with the end. "Sakura-chan, how do you get these things out?"
"Kami your hopeless...You pull the end. See? There's a string!" Sakura yelled, fumbling for the end.
Meanwhile, Sasuke had gone outside and picked up two sleeping childern, who had been found on the nice lawn...if there's even a lawn...HEY! I don't live there! Got a problem? Ask Sasuke or Sakura!
"OH YEAH! Why were my childern found outside asleep on the grass? I leave you for one night and you screw things up!"
"Yes okaasan! He lured us out the front with promises of candy!" Ryuu whined, fake crying and covering his eyes.
"Oh bull! Look what you did to my nose!" Naruto said, pointing a finger at his nose and in Ryuu's face.
"It was all in self defense!" Ryuu cried.
"I'LL KILL YOU!" Naruto screamed, holding his hands out and for Ryuu's throat.
"AIYEEEEEEEE! NARUTO LOVES OKAASAN!" He screamed girlishly.
"Nani?" The three...er, adults? said in unison, confuzzled.
"Care to explain dobe?" Sasuke asked, walking infront of Naruto and cracking his knuckles.
"Yes, but first CAN WE GET THIS FRICKIN' TAMPON OUT OF MY NOSE!"
"Oh yeah...you see, we thought last night the string would irritate him...so we sorta cut it off..." Misaki said, poking her pointer fingers together in a Hinata type fashion.
"YOU WHAT?!?!?" The three adults, once again yelled in unison.
"Oh kami. Let me get some scissors." Sakura sighed, holding her head in one hand in a bothered, fashion.
"Are you going to cut it out?" Naruto asked, shaking.
"No, we're going to cut your nostril." Misaki sighed.
"No duh captain obvious!" Ryuu teased, poking his tongue.
"Great, getting this removed is going to tickle." Naruto said with implied sarcasm. "Now isn't that just frickin' Peachy."
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So, everyone sat at the table. Sakura had successfully removed the bloodied tampon with a pair of nose-hair clippers (ehehe...) and the tampon was now sitting in the middle of the kitchen table, putting Naruto's blood all over the place.
"Yuk...Almost looks like the real thing..." Sakura said in disgust, scrunching her nose.
"You can talk..." muttered Sasuke.
"What was that?" Sakura asked, turning her head slowly to face the Uchiha.
"Nothing...anyway, what are we doing now? I'm bored..."
"Well, why don't you tell us about your mission?" Naruto said, shooing flies from his face...yes, who knows how they got there.
"Ok, I had to seduce Sa- DA! I MEAN an assassin...yeah...let's go with that and Sakura here had to take them out."
"You mean you seduced a guy?"
"Actually, it looked more like an 'it', didn't it Sakura?" Sasuke asked, taking a sip of coffee which Misaki had just brought to him.
"It was a girl, Sasuke. And, she was quite beautiful." Sakura said, with complete jealousy.
"Hn, whatever. No one's beauty could match your...favourite celebrity, JENNIFER HAWKINS!"
"Sasuke-kun, ONE Jennifer isn't even known to us, TWO, she's not my favourite, and THREE you should be complimenting ME!"
"Whew, good call Sasuke. Personally, I would of said Ayumi Hamasaki or Rie Fu (Rie Fu does the ending of Bleach. Check out her other songs, and if you don't know who Ayumi Hamasaki is, I suggest you either commit suicide before I find you or download 'You' or 'Angel's Song' or any other one you can find.)
"Ahh yes. Rie Fu.."
"Oh yeah...one thing about last night...WHY THE HELL IS THERE A FREAKING RAMEN DITCH IN YOUR BACKYARD!" Naruto cried dramatically.
"So annoying people like you fall in them and never come back. Simple." He replied, taking another sip of his hot drink.
"I...no comment..." Naruto said, walking off. "If anyone needs me, I'll be-"
"We know Naruto, eating Ramen..." Misaki droaned.
"Exactly." And with that, Naruto walked off.
"We are NEVER hiring that retard EVER again." Sasuke sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"Agreed. But, we have another mission coming up. Who's going to babysit?" Sakura asked.
"Oh! Couldn't we come?" Ryuu asked, eyes shinning brightly and his little hands clasped together, full of hope.
"NO!" Sasuke yelled, running a hand up side his son's head. "Are you a retard?"
"Yes..." Misaki muttered under her breath.
"Fine. Who shall the next babysitter be then?"
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Words to describe this chapter. Boring. Dull. Unfunny, short...yes. I'm sorry! Please, review!
Ja Ne (implied sadness)
-S.V
P.S I've posted another fic up, it's called 'Road Trip'. It's short because i've only got the Prologue up but there's a couple of jokes. In my retarded opinion, give it a read xP