The Great Disney Adventure II: The Book of Songs

A Disney story by talking2myself

DISCLAIMER: See chapter. 1

Chapter. 4 A Sarcastic Legend

"ARRRRRGGGGGH!!" Rob screamed as the floor suddenly vanished from beneath his feet. Rob freefell several stories. Down, down, down, down. Rob screamed and screamed until suddenly his sudden plunge changed. Now he was slowly drifting towards the ground. As he fell, Rob looked around at his strange surroundings. Pieces of furniture, endtables, and loveseats were floating and bobbing around him like flotsam and jetsam. They were completely suspended in midair. "This is not normal!" Rob cried. Suddenly, his plummet resumed. Rob let out a short scream and then felt the ground rise up and meet him.

PLOP! Rob slowly opened his eyes. "I'm alive?!" Rob whispered in disbelief. He looked down at his big pink fingers and scowled, "Oh yeah. I'm a cartoon. They could drop an anvil on my head and I wouldn't feel a thing." Rob froze suddenly and looked up at the floating furniture. There was always a chance that a piano could crash down on top of him.

Rob slowly got to his feet and looked around. He had landed in a big, soft, red armchair. One that looked oddly familiar, but Rob couldn't place it right away. Rob looked around carefully. A long table stretched out in front of him. Every square inch of the table was covered with tea pots and tea cups. Plates and cups of every color and size. Chairs of every imaginable design were placed around the long white table. Rob shook his head in disbelief. Where am I?!

"You came from the outside world!"

Rob jumped up in surprise. He whirled around and saw a girl standing there staring at him.

"What?!" Rob stammered stupidly.

"You came from outside The Kingdom!" the girl cried gleefully, "Oh how splendid! I knew that someone would come!" The girl hurried forwards and clasped his hand, "I'm positively thrilled to meet you! My name is Alice."

"Alice?" Rob asked groggily. He looked the girl over quickly. She had long blonde hair and the biggest blue eyes that Rob had ever seen. She wore a sky blue dress with a neat white apron over the top. She wore this over white tights and petticoats and black shoes. The overall effect wasn't dazzling, but the girl did look very pretty. It was then that Rob realized who she was.

"Alice?!" he asked, "Like Alice in Wonderland?"

"Oh yes!" Alice cried happily, "The very same! Did Kelsey come with you?"

"Kelsey?!" Rob cried, "Hold on! Just stop!"

"Stop what?" Alice asked.

"I've been here five minutes," Rob said, "Five minutes, but everyone here seems to know Kelsey!"

"Why, of course," Alice shrugged as though it were obvious, "Everyone knows who Kelsey is."

"You know her?!" Rob cried.

"Well, er I've never met her personally," Alice said, "But I've heard stories! Look!" Alice took Rob's hand and lead him a short distance away. Rob's mouth hung open at the sight.

"They just built it after she made it home," Alice said. Rob shook his head as he stared up at a large brass statue of Kelsey. She was standing there with her hands on her hips. She was looking out over her square glasses, giving someone a cynical are-you-kidding-me? sort of glance. She was wearing a large top hat and jacket, as well as a strange crystal around her neck. Sitting on the ground next to her was Emma. Emma was wearing clothes that were far too big for her as well as a floppy hat that nearly covered her face. In case this wasn't weird enough, Rob caught something sitting on the brim of Kelsey's hat. A tiny pixie, the one that he had seen earlier. Tinkerbell!

Rob rubbed his eyes in disbelief. How far did I fall? Did I land on my head?! "Tinkerbell thought I was Kelsey at first," Rob said to himself, "Then, that means... Tinkerbell is my sister's friend?!"

"Kelsey's your sister?!" Alice cried wildly, "You're Kelsey's brother?!"

"Yeah," Rob said, "I'm Kelsey's brother. What's the big deal?!"

"Your sister's a hero!" Alice cried. Her eyes were glowing when she talked about Kelsey, "She fed Ursula, the sea witch, to the Krakken, she sailed with Jack Sparrow all the way from The Desert to Monstropolis, and she defeated the dark lord Hades with only a pair of chopsticks!"

"Chopsticks?!" Rob asked skeptically, "My sister? Kelsey?! Kelsey can't even make it through a round of dodgeball!"

Alice giggled quietly, "I can see that you inherited your sister's legendary sense of humor?"

"Sense of humor?"

"Mmhmm," Alice nodded, "They called her Lady Daggertongue because of her sharp and witty and rather sarcastic jokes."

"It does sound like her," Rob admitted.

"Will she be arriving shortly?" Alice asked.

"No," Rob said, "Probably not. And what were you doing here anyway? Were you expecting her?"

For the first time since their conversation began, Alice's perky smile fell. "No," Alice admitted, "I just kinda hoped that she would somehow realize that we needed her and magically appear." Alice looked up again and brightened, "Did she send you instead?!"

"No," Rob said again, "She didn't. I fell in here on accident. Now, I need to find my way home."

"Oh. Well then,you're new here," Alice said, "So I should probably warn you. You can't find your way home. You must find the Queen's way home. I learned that the hard way."

"The Queen?" Rob asked, "You mean I have to rely on that crazy old blowhard from the movie? That's the only way I can get home?!" Alice nodded. Rob groaned, "Fine. If that's my only option. Do you know how to get to her castle?"

"I suppose," Alice shrugged, "Does that mean you won't help us?"

"Help you?!" Rob cried helplessly, "What am I supposed to do?! I've been here five minutes and now I'm supposed to believe that Disney characters are real and that my sister is a sarcastic legend?!" Alice looked down at the ground. Rob let out a heavy sigh, "Look, if I make it home, then maybe I can give Kelsey a message or something..."

Alice's whole face lit up again, "That's brilliant! Very well then! Let's go." She took hold of Rob's hand and raced down the pathway that lead into the forest.

-888-

Tinkerbell chimed something to The Door a few moments after Rob ran into The Kingdom

"No, I don't think he meant to fall three stories, Tinkerbell!" The Door snapped as they watched Rob fall, "But what am I supposed to do about it? You do something!"

Tinkerbell chatted an angry retort. "I don't care if you're only three inches tall!" The Door snapped, "You're the one with fingers!"

Tinkerbell turned her back pointedly on The Door. "I know, I know," The Door sighed, "But Walter isn't here at the moment in case you haven't noticed, and furthermore...!"

"AAAARRRRGGGGH!" Suddenly, two screaming girls toppled down onto the black and white marble floor. They landed roughly with a loud OOF!

Kelsey sat up slowly. "Ooh!" she moaned, "You know, I think we're getting the hang of it, Emma!"

"Speak for yourself," Emma groaned, "I'm still carsick!"

A bright golden spark suddenly shot across the room and hugged Kelsey's cheek. "Whoa!" Kelsey cried backing away. "Tink!" Kelsey held the tiny pixie in her hands. She was making very loud happy chiming noises, like a set of windchimes in the breeze. "Yes, Tink," Kelsey smiled, "I missed you too."

Tink whirled around Emma's head until Emma burst out giggling and was covered in golden dust. "As touching as this is," Kelsey said, "We need Walter. Where is he?"

"He's gone," The Door said solemnly.

"What?!" Kelsey cried, "Door! Hey! Long time no see. What do you mean he's gone?"

"I mean," The Door said with a mighty sniff, "He just disappeared one day. No one has any idea where he is! It's only a little bit of what's happening lately."

"Happening?" Kelsey asked, "What are you talking about? What's going on?"

"Strange things," The Door said, "Very strange terrible things."

"I'm gonna need a little more to go off of than that," Kelsey said gently.

"There's a group of villains," The Door said, "They've formed a sort of band. And they've been looking all over The Kingdom for something."

"What are they searching for?" Kelsey asked, "Do they have Walter?!"

"No one knows!" The Door wailed, "But there's all sorts of problems springing up in The Kingdom. There's practically a civil war in The Jungle! There's a strange blue creature wreaking havoc everywhere. There's a crazy little witch appearing in the strangest places. No one can find Jack Sparrow anywhere."

"I don't like this," Kelsey said, "Althought the last one doesn't surprise me. I don't think the villains had anything to do with that. We better get in there and get Rob out as soon as possible. Have you seen a little boy? About thirteen years old? Blonde hair blue eyes? Answers to Rob or Robbie."

"Yes, he's already been through," The Door said dryly, "Definitely takes after you."

"Charming and intelligent?" Kelsey said. The Door snorted contemptuously. "Where is he?" Kelsey asked.

"He's in The Kingdom," The Door said.

"WHAT?!" Kelsey cried, "You sent him in?! Alone?!"

"Well, we couldn't exactly stop him," The Door insisted.

"You could've tried!" Kelsey exclaimed, "You let my brother in there, by himself with all this weird stuff going on? That's like throwing a match into a dynamite factory! I gotta find him before he screws something up! Come on, Emma! Tink, you better come too."

"Good luck, Kelsey," The Door said before swinging open. Kelsey and Emma jumped out and fell into Wonderland.

-888-

"Hey Jafar!" Iago flew into Hades lair, "Have I got news for you!"

"Can someone please shove a cracker down his throat?" Hades groaned, "That voice is giving me a migraine."

"Pipe down, hothead," Iago snapped, "You'll find this interesting. You can see a useful sidekick in action." Hades scowled and his face and hair turned a deep shade of red.

"What is it, Iago?" Jafar asked as Iago landed on his shoulder.

"I was just sitting on a tree branch in Wonderland," Iago said, "When I overheard the most interesting conversation. There's a boy in The Kingdom."

"A boy?" Aaron asked. Their fearless leader had been sitting a short distance away, eagerly paging through The Book of Songs.

"Who cares?!" Hades cried, "We don't need a boy. We have enough annoying minions." Iago stuck out his tongue at Hades.

"What about this boy?" Jafar demanded impatiently.

Iago cackled happily, "You're gonna love this! He says that he's Kelsey's brother."

"Kelsey's brother?!" Aaron cried. Aaron dropped the book and hurried over to Jafar and Iago. "He's here? In the Kingdom?!"

"Yup," Iago said.

"Where's he going?" Maleficent asked eagerly.

"Said he's going to The Queen of Hearts," Iago said, "Thinks that she'll help him find his way home. Ha! The Sap!"

"Well done, Iago," Jafar said with a smile. Iago beamed and gave Hades a smug look.

"Okay, you did good!" Hades scowled, "If I had a cracker I'd give it to you." Iago was about to offer a retort, but Aaron silenced him with a wave of his hand.

"Enough!" he cried, "If we have the brother it will be far easier to find Kelsey. Perhaps it's time for us to send a little message to The Queen of Hearts."