A/N: Um… What can I say? This chapter equals angst! Not my fault; I didn't control Yuki originally! Blame it on Sin-chan!! –pushes her forward- OH! Beware of country music references! There's only one, but I assure you, if you've heard the song, you'll get the chorus stuck in your head! Chaa!

(OMFG! Who watches Death Note?! Did you know that the same VA did BOTH Ryuichi and L in Japan?! THAT MEANS L CAN SING! -dies a happy death-)

Chapter Four: Falling Apart

As Yuki drove home, he thought. Harder than he normally allowed himself to. Shuichi slept soundly in the backseat, and the novelist sighed.

He cared for the brat, really he did. … It was just hard. Not hard to care, mind you, just hard to actually get it across. Shuichi's gush-fests easily sparked the inner romantic inside of himself, and often Yuki found himself wanting to give in to the pink-haired musician's plaintive whines for dates and kisses; so he stopped himself by shutting Shuichi up.

Not the best course of action to take, Yuki now realized.

Growling softly, the blonde stepped on the gas, his car speeding down the deserted and rain-slicked freeway. He just wanted to get home; he wanted to talk to Shuichi…

"What the hell am I going to tell him?!" The romance novelist hissed, rolling his eyes as he slowed once he entered the city limits.

Within five minutes, they were home, and Yuki was shaking Shuichi awake.

The boy blinked awake, his large violet eyes blurry with sleep. "Wha—? Yuki… Hi," he mumbled, yawning.

Yuki chuckled, gently pulling Shuichi into his arms, carrying the owl-eyed boy to bed.

Shuichi looked around sadly, biting his lip. "This is your bed," he insisted quietly, sitting up.

Yuki recognized the soft sadness that bit into the musician's voice: Shuichi had been sleeping in the guestroom for at least two months now. "I don't care," he grumbled, sitting on the side of the bed. "You can sleep here if you want to. You live here…"

"Yuki," Shuichi intoned, shaking his head. "Why are you being so damn nice all of a sudden?"

Yuki started. This was not, repeat, not the conversation he had wanted to have with Shuichi!

"I… I don't know… I just… was…"

"Is it because I had to choose between you and Sakuma-san," the boy cut in, his voice sharp. Yuki looked up into Shuichi's eyes, and they gleamed with something dangerous, something that was already broken…

"I… yes," Yuki whispered. "But I really—"

"I don't want to hear it!" Shuichi slid off the bed, walking with deliberate slowness towards the door. "This just means that it was all conditional… You just…"

"Hey, wait, you! I didn't say anything of the sort!" Yuki shouted, standing up with his fists clenched.

Shuichi spun around, tears sparkling against his lavender irises. "I said I don't want to hear it! Eiri Yuki, are you so caught up in your own little world not to realize what's going on? Someone else is in love with me! And I… I may be falling in love with him! Please, be straight with me, tell me, please… Do you love me or not!?"

Yuki winced; he heard the blatant begging in Shuichi's voice. "I… don't…kn..."

"You don't know…" Shuichi shook his head, then left, slamming the bedroom door behind him.

He raced into the guestroom, and threw some clothes, his lyrics book and his blanket into a bag, changed his clothes, and picked up his cell phone.

He pressed the speed dial, and waited for Ryuichi to pick up. (He silently thanked the spastic idol for programming it into his phone a few weeks before.)

"Hey, Sakuma-san… I'm sorry," Shuichi whispered. "It's late… I know…"

"There's no problem, Shuichi… Is something wrong?"

Shuichi almost smiled, but ended up in a grimace, a twist of a laugh and tears plastered onto his cute face. Ryuichi always worried about him, didn't he? "I… would you mind meeting me somewhere…" he paused, looking up at the clock on his wall. "I think clubs are the only places open right now... but do you think, if I gave you the address, would you come to see me?" the singer whispered softly, trying to keep from pleading.

"Yeah, of course I can Shuichi… But… are you sure you're okay?"

"Oh, nothing at all," Shuichi said softly, trying to sound nonchalant, but he knew as a fellow vocalist, that Ryu would be able to hear the tremor in his voice. "I… I'm just falling apart here," he laughed, his voice finally breaking into tears. "Nothing's wrong, nope, not here," he sobbed, holding the phone tightly to his ear. "Nothing at all!"

"Shuichi," Ryuichi said sharply. "Calm down, or you'll go into hysterics," he advised. "Shhh… Tell me the address; I'll meet you there, I promise."

Shuichi trembled, holding the phone tightly. "I… I…"

Ryuichi could hear Shuichi dissolving into tears on the other line, and he began to talk about random things, from band rehearsals to what Kumagoro's favorite color was.

Hearing Ryu babble calmed Shuichi considerably. Hiccupping, he managed to talk. "Can you just come and pick me up at Yuki's house? I don't think I can walk anywhere."

"Yeah. I'll come get you; be waiting for me, ne Shuichi?"

"I will."

By the time Ryuichi came to pick Shuichi up, the boy had calmed considerably, and was waiting on Yuki's front porch. He wore a simple outfit, and had his headphones glued to his head.

He watched as Ryuichi came up the stairs. The older idol plopped down beside him, and Shuichi leaned against him.

"You alright?"

Shuichi nodded, angling himself so he could wrap his arms around his idol's thin shoulders. "I'll be okay," he mumbled.

Ryuichi nodded quietly. He just wanted to grin and smile, but he knew he couldn't goof this hurt away. He knew what had happened. "Shuichi, you deserve—"

"Better? I know," the boy mumbled despondently. "I think I'm over-reacting., it's not really that bad… he was.. Just the best I've ever had…"

The boy hiccupped quietly, and Ryu sighed, picking the boy up as he stood. "We're going on a date," he declared, glaring down into Shuichi's tear-stained violet eyes. "And I'll show you that there's such thing as best-est!"

Shuichi giggled softly, sniffling between his laughter. "Alright. Can I choose the place?"

Ryuichi softened, grinning tenderly. "Of course you can, Shu-chan. I shall be your chauffeur for the evening. I'll take you anywhere within reason."

The pink-haired pop-star gave his elder idol a peck on the cheek, whispering the address of his desired destination.

Ryuichi smiled. "I can do that."

In fact, the 'in reason' part was a lie; Ryuichi would have done anything to keep Shuichi from falling apart.