*It's 8 PM, and 50 Clown's staff are setting up decorations for a party*
Lincoln: Last night you said it was time to party at 8 PM, do you do that everyday?
50 Clown: Nah, Lincoln, before I "adopted" you, I used to go to 365nightlife at exactly 8 PM with my friends, brothers and sisters. When I found Lance I was very stressful but after he released his first single "Faith Got Nothing On Me", I was a little more confident. I asked the manager at 365nightlife if my adopted son could be in the club and surprisingly, he said yes. He even gave Lance his own V.I.P room, which was really nice of him. But I have parties at my crib sometimes 'cause of some special events. Tonight's a special event 'cause it's my friend's 18th birthday today.
Lincoln: Wow, that's cool. What's his name?
50 Clown: His name is Jake. He's also a rapper. Rapping since he was 13. He has had the same stage name since the beginning, and it is Sy10. He is signed with a label called LLEX Records. I remember his first hit single, "Rivalrous Dawns".
Lincoln: I think I remember Lori always listening to it.
Lori: That is right, Lincoln. I had the biggest crush on Sy10 before I met Bobby. When I started dating Bobby, I stopped having a crush on Sy10. But I still like his music. I'm so excited to see him tonight.
50 Clown: There are a couple of my friends coming to perform. First one to perform is DJ Chris Jay. He's in his 60's now, but still knows how to spin 'em records. Then there's Thomas AKA Tommy Pep. Oh, how I love Tommy Pep's bars. Then it's Karen AKA Miss Spotlight. My favorite song by her is "Lady Jams" featuring Michael Jackson. I always listened to it in middle school. Then it's Lawrence AKA MC Spinna. A great guy. Then finally, my best friend, 69 NCH$.
Lana: Gerald, can we be in the party?
50 Clown: Sorry, Lana, unless you're 10, I can't allow you to be in the party. Lily, Lisa, Lola, you, and Lucy will sleep in your bedroom.
*1 hour later*
*someone knocks at 50 Clown's door*
50 Clown: I'd normally get my staff to answer the door, but, you know what, I'll give them a break.
*50 Clown opens the door*
50 Clown: Ay, it's Bobby. What up, fam?
Bobby: I only came here for MC Spinna. Also for Lori.
50 Clown: Well, she's right here if you want to talk to her. She picked a really nice dress for the night. I mean, my to-be ex-wife's dresses were cool and all, but that's 'cause she's a gold digger. She married me for my money. What a female dog. Say, Lori, did you pick the dress yourself?
Lori: No. I got some help from Leni. I'm not a fashionable person like her.
50 Clown: Lori, listen. Everyone's fashionable in their own way. It doesn't matter how you dress yourself or how you like your life, it's always fashionable.
Lori: Thanks, Gerald. Oh, also, nice suit you're wearing.
50 Clown: Oh, this? Thanks. I bought it while I was touring in Europe. It's Sweden-ing.
Luan: *laughs* Wow, that was a good one.
Lori & Bobby: I don't get it.
50 Clown: The purpose of that joke was that I bought it in Sweden, which is in Europe, and Sweden-ing, sounds like "sweetening". I know, I'm not Will Smith, but I tried my best. Used to watch him a lot when I was a kid. Grew up watching him.
Bobby: Can I come in or what?
50 Clown: Why, sure. I didn't invite you to this party for nothing.
Bobby: Thanks.
*Bobby walks in*
*2 hours later*
50 Clown: Alright, I think everyone's here. We got 69 NCH$, Tommy Pep, Miss Spotlight, MC Spinna, DJ Chris Jay... and finally, my homie, the glorious... Sy10. Happy birthday to you.
*everyone claps*
Sy10: Thank you. Aren't we gonna get a little lit first?
50 Clown: Sure. A little warmup for the party could do.
69 NCH$: Hey, Gerald, let's perform our old-selves.
50 Clown: No, Daniel. I'm not about to embarrass myself in front of everyone.
69 NCH$: Come on, it will be fun.
Lincoln: What are you guys talking about?
50 Clown: Lincoln, we're just talking about the very start of our careers. We were a state-famous hip hop duo called The High School Smokahs.
69 NCH$: Good ole times.
50 Clown: Yeah, I was always really awkward back then, especially on stage, but I tried my best not to be awkward.
69 NCH$: Come on, Gerald, let's go.
50 Clown: Fine.
*Daniel and Gerald walk up on stage*
50 Clown (to viewer): I'm gonna hate myself a little bit after this.
69 NCH$: Alright, everybody, who's ready?
Sy10: ME!
69 NCH$: Alright, let's go.
50 Clown: *awkwardly laughs* Yeah, let's start.
50 Clown (in his mind): I hate my life now.
*69 NCH$ turns on the instrumental for THSS' first song "TH$$ Anthem"*
69 NCH$: Here we go.
69 NCH$:
Yo, listen up, it's The High School Smokahs.
We ain't broke, girl, just the two of pokers.
50 Clown:
Yeah, if you screw with us, we'll screw you up.
It ain't too easy to give us a back rub.
69 NCH$:
Is it up there..
50 Clown:
..or is it down there?
Both:
Look it up on Google Earth, it is crystal clear.
69 NCH$:
Call me Big 1NCH, not Daniel.
50 Clown:
You can call me Ø7, not Gerald.
Both:
Ladies and gentlemen.
We wanna thank you for listening to THSS.
*everyone claps*
69 NCH$: See, it wasn't so bad.
50 Clown: Oh, well, at least they clapped.
Sy10: That was really good. Even though it was short. Now, where are my presents?
50 Clown: Presents? Uh... you don't need presents.
Sy10: No one is too old to have presents.
50 Clown: I mean, do you need a present? We got everything for you. We have a dance floor, music, balloons, even your own royal lair.
Sy10: It isn't enough. We need girls. Thick girls. Maybe her. She's kind of thick.
*Sy10 points at Lori*
50 Clown: Dude, come on. Number 1, she is 17, so you can't have her. Number 2, she has a boyfriend.
Sy10: Then bring in your sisters or something.
50 Clown: They're all locked... except for one. She's 18 like you.
Sy10: That's great. Is she thick?
50 Clown: Excuse me a bit, are you a horny virgin or Sy10? Listen to me, the normal Sy10 I know does not act like that.
Sy10: Perhaps, I am not Sy10. *Sy10's voice changes* I am somebody else.
50 Clown: Okay, stop with the voi...
*Sy10 hits him in the head*
50 Clown: Why'd you do that, Jake?
*Sy10 rips his face off that turns out to be a mask*
Stranger: I am not Sy10, either Jake. I am Evan. Remember me?
50 Clown: I like putting condoms on chickens.
Evan: Me too, man. Especially when I choke it.
*69 NCH$ smacks 50 Clown*
69 NCH$: Come on, dude, this is Evan Rogers. You know, the school bully.
50 Clown: Get me some milk with apple juice in it.
69 NCH$: Oh, great, his IQ level dropped down to a level of a pointing finger. That means he has the IQ of 6.
Lori: How do you know?
69 NCH$: I just know. I've seen people take the college IQ test before.
Lori: Does it work?
69 NCH$: Yes, it does.
*crying comes from Lily's room*
*everyone looks at each other, and then 69 NCH$ runs into her room*
Evan: C'mon, whatever your name is, but according to these documents I have, it must be Lily, right? But c'mon, let's go for a little...
Evan (whispering in Lily's ear): fun.
69 NCH$: Not so fast.
*Evan looks at him*
Evan: Oh, thanks for the tip. I really needed that. I don't wanna rush on her too much.
69 NCH$: That's not what I meant.
*Evan throws a sleeping grenade on the ground and runs away*
69 NCH$: What the.. *coughs*
*everyone starts coughing except 50 Clown... which is dancing in the backyard naked*
50 Clown: I'm a butterfly.
*the next day*
*69 NCH$ wakes up*
69 NCH$: Come on. He escaped? I was gonna sucker-punch this guy in the nuts before he ran away.
*69 NCH$ hears 50 Clown scream*
*69 NCH$ runs to 50 Clown*
50 Clown: Human, please, help me. The spider caught me in it's web and it's gonna eat me.
*50 Clown cries*
69 NCH$: Gerald, come on. When you see a spider normally on you, you just crush it.
50 Clown: My name is not Gerald. I'm Jared, the butterfly Pingu.
*69 NCH$ crushes the spider and sucker-punches 50 Clown in the face*
69 NCH$: Get some f****** logic in there, you goddamn bastard.
50 Clown: Wha.. what happened?
69 NCH$: It's a long f****** story your mama never told you once. All that matters is that Evan Rogers, your high school bully, has kidnapped Lily for some molesting.
*50 Clown rages*
50 Clown: That bloody bastard. Let's leave a note here to let them know where we've gone.
69 NCH$: Gone?
50 Clown: Yeah, obviously. We need to save Lily, and f*** that bastard up. Check if she has HIV/AIDS or STDs.
69 NCH$: We don't know where he lives.
50 Clown: Daniel, remember? Look it up on Google Earth. Plus, a phonebook. This is going to be a hard quest, but I ain't giving up without a fight.
THE END