*Sigh* This chapter was not cooperating, I must say. Probably because it's a little depressing :p

Kili's breath ghosted in front of him as he carefully weaved his way through the narrow tunnel, sharp eyes looking left and right for anything that might suggest that orcs were indeed still here. The silence, while he'd appreciated it at the start, was now incredibly oppressing, and to be quite honest, Kili didn't think he'd mind if something were to jump on him from behind, at this point, anything was better than worrying about the fact that nothing had shown itself yet.

Because that was where the whole problem lay: he hadn't found anything.

It wasn't that he was unhappy at the fact that nothing had come for him, he was probably more relieved than anything else to know he was still alive and in one piece, but somehow, it just felt so… wrong, as if Azog's orcs were just waiting for him to think himself safe only to jump on him and prove him wrong. And Kili didn't want to let his guard down if that was a very real possibility.

However, the fact that he'd been scouting well over fifteen minutes and had not come across anything had him worrying, and eventually, he found himself almost slipping into the mindset that maybe his earlier deduction was true, that there truly was nothing for him to find here. It was almost a relief, and it had his shoulders sagging immediately, the grip on his sword loosening itself ever so lightly, because while Kili could honestly say he was up for anything this quest would throw at him didn't mean that he would physically be able to do it, his injury in Mirkwood had taught him that there was a fine line between what his mind though itself capable of achieving and the limits his body had, and right now, if he were to engage in a fight with a pack of fifteen orcs or so, he doubted quite strongly that he'd come out victorious, especially if he was to face them alone.

Still, he wished he could just go back to Thorin without having to take a look at the entire ground floor first though, because that just meant having to waste more time here, time he'd rather spend helping his uncle fight the pack of orcs that had been coming towards him before he'd sent him and Fili here. He hoped his uncle was all right. Sure, Dwalin was there with him, and Mister Dwalin was among the best warriors Kili had ever met in his life, but the two of them against that many orcs? Well, he could only hope neither had sported too grave an injury.

If they had, however, the least he could do was do the job his uncle had asked of him to the best of his abilities, which meant leaving no corner unchecked. If there was the slightest possibility that one of those foul creatures was hiding up here, his uncle would want to know about it, especially if it could give them a lead as to where Azog had fled to.

Kili hadn't voiced it out loud, but he'd seen how unsettled Thorin had been when they had found no sign of the Pale Orc earlier, and he was inclined to say that he felt the same way. Surely the burly creature could not have just disappeared, and it was even more unsettling to think that Azog had not immediately come out for them. He had not seen much of the orc, and what he had seen had been more than enough, but Kili knew he could safely say that Azog would not pass up on an opportunity to get at his uncle, and the fact that their enemy had not shown himself had disturbed him ever since. Where in Mahal's name was he if he hadn't gone after Thorin the moment they'd arrived at Ravenhill?

Kili tried straining his hearing, using his skills to his advantage, desperate now to catch something. While he'd taken it as a good sign that nothing had jumped out at him from the shadows, he couldn't help but reconsider his earlier statement, now wishing something would indeed show itself, at least it would be something he could report back to his uncle. Closing his eyes, trying to block out anything that might distract him, the young dwarf tried to single out anything he heard, be it the wind blowing outside, at the end of the tunnel he'd been scouting, the occasional drop of water that would fall from the ceiling or the sound if his own boots, as he would anxiously grind them into the ground.

There it was, or was it? Kili could swear he heard something akin to shuffling just above his head, as if some slimy creature was wriggling itself through the stone wall of the narrow passageway. Almost relieved to have found something, he closed his eyes, trying to block out any other sounds and focusing on what he could make out above him, trying to picture what he might see if he were up there. The footsteps were heavy, no doubt belonging to some bulky creature, and the metal sounding scraping he could hear, as if something were being dragged along, he could picture the creature pulling a heavy sword behind it. It was armed, dangerous, in any case, and Thorin had told him not to engage. And Kili wasn't about to disobey his uncle, not after Fili had made it clear to him that this section of the tower was the one he needed to scout, not the upper level. Maybe Kili hadn't found anything in his area, but at least, he knew something was there, something heavy, something that felt almost threatening, as he could now hear the thud of it's strides across the ground it was standing on, and the younger dwarf couldn't help the shivers that were sent coursing down his spine. He needed to get out before whatever the monster above him was caught him here, trapped like a scared animal with no way of escape.

But as he was about to leave, the noise he'd made out above him stopped, and Kili stilled, waiting for it to start again, almost scared that it had stopped because whatever was up there had realized that he was right beneath it. Something was up there, right? He hadn't just imagined the beast crossing the room on the higher level, had he?

Trying as much as he could to still his breathing down to nil, the younger heir of Durin took a few steps back, until his back hit the rocky walls of the tunnel, a small support for him as he anxiously waited for something to happen. He didn't like it, didn't like not being able to know what was going on, how close he was to danger and if he had been found already. Sharply looking to his left, he could almost make out small red eyes glowing in the dark, observing him menacingly form the shadows and following him as he tried to avert his gaze. Had he been followed all along and not noticed it? No, surely he would have heard, wouldn't he?

Blinking quickly, Kili sighed in relief when the red orbs disappeared, only a twisted image of his own imagination then. He took a moment to lean into the wall of the tunnel behind him, glad for the support it offered him when he realized how badly his legs were shaking. He wanted to chastise himself, knowing he ought not to be so afraid, trying to imagine what Thorin might say to him, but he couldn't help it. This was entirely different from the tales of grand battles and the fearless heroes of old his uncle had told him about when he'd been but a young dwarfling. He wasn't feeling like the dwarves heroes of old who weren't afraid to meet their end, Kili didn't know if he'd be able to overcome a swarm of orcs that might attack him from behind, Kili didn't have that warm feeling in his heart at the thought that they were all fighting together for the greater good. In fact, he felt alone, trapped, and scared. What he wouldn't give for Dwalin, Thorin or Fili to find him right now…

Taking a moment to recompose himself, knowing that, panicked as he was, he wasn't going to be remotely efficient, Kili leaned against the wall, the white breath ghosting out in front of him a reflection of how badly he was scared. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to block out any panic that he could feel rising in his chest, knowing that letting it get the better of him would do him no good, and the younger dwarf sighed in relief when, eventually, his body stopped shaking.

It stopped shaking just as his ears picked up the shuffling right above his head, and Kili looked up. While the ceiling of the tunnel was all his eyes could truly see, he could picture them, the orcs, heading towards the opening right ahead of him, they were right there. Gulping in anticipation, Thorin's younger nephew took a step to follow them, hoping he would not be heard over the scraping he could make out just over his head, knowing his uncle would be grateful to him were he to assess how many exactly of those foul beasts there was.

The cold air hitting his face was most welcomed, Kili realized, as he tentatively inched slightly outside his cover, at least it was until he heard the familiar growl of the orc that had almost killed his uncle just above him. Danger was much too close to him, and any issue would be blocked to him from now on, he was sure of it.

This had been a trap all along! He realized bitterly, not for the first time wishing Thorin could sweep in and make everything better, like he always did. But his uncle was over there, just a short distance away, he could make out the older dwarf, Dwalin… and was that Bilbo? Bless the Hobbit, he'd made it back to them in one piece after all! Kili sighed in relief, shoulder slumping slightly now that he knew his uncle would be all right, that he and Dwalin had overcome the swarm of orcs that had come their way. He had to get back to them, though, he had to find Fili and get out of here, for he was no certain that the watchtower was no safe place for them to be in.

However, the scraping sound above him could still be heard, and when the shuffling sound stopped right over his head and Kili swore he heard a whimper of a much too familiar voice, he could only look up, his heart leaping into his throat as he recognized the prisoner that Azog had dragged out with him.

Fili hadn't dared look back up at the white orc after Azog had seized him up, not wanting to offer the other a chance to finish him off just yet. Looking around, he had tried to spot a small opening he might have been able to use as an exit, but any opportunity was quickly crushed when he foot on his back press harder, pushing him down so as to make sure he wouldn't be able to attempt any escape. He had tried to make out what was being said, but what Balin had taught he and Kili on Orcish language had only been very basic, his Uncle not being able to bear the thought of his nephews learning the language of those who had robbed him of his family. Although he might not have been able to understand, Fili wasn't foolish enough to imagine it was talk about sparing him, especially if the gleaming black orbs looking down at him were anything to go by.

He had given up on trying to squirm out from under the foot of the half-blind beast atop of him, and he knew better than to goad the Pale Orc on when the latter knelt down in front of him, vicious snarl twisting into a sick smile. Still, not wanting to give in and stubbornness being somewhat acquaintance to the line of Durin by now, he refused to look away, even if his brain was screaming at him to not offend his captor more than was necessary.

Azog was muttering something in his own language, which he did not understand, as his only functioning hand entangled itself in his hair, keeping him still. Fili wanted to pull himself away, the fetid smell of the other's breath making him nauseous, but dared not, for angering his enemy would only result in him lashing out, and Fili didn't want anything drawing Kili up here. His brother was safe, and it had to remain that way.

However, no sooner had Fili allowed himself to take a relieved breath did he feels the knots of anxiety twist in his stomach once again as Azog grabbed his collar from the back, dragging him behind him with little care as to whether Fili could keep up with him or not. He tried resisting the hand pulling him, tried digging his feet into the ground in a desperate attempt to not move anywhere, but he was forced to comply when one of the orcs dealt a swift blow to his head, unbalancing him as he was knocked forward, and he soon found himself unable to stop the white creature's progress. Dizzy now, there was not much left for him to do but comply, and soon, the blond found himself stumbling after the taller creature, desperate to keep up with it's quick pace for fear he might stumble again, and Fili thought he'd had quite enough bruises already, it was needless to offer the orcs an opportunity to give him more.

As they exited the tunnel and the bright light of the outside assaulted him, he could only squeeze his eyes shut, stumbling after the orcs that kept pulling him forward. His leg hurt, his arm hurt, everything hurt, and Fili just wanted it to stop. But Fate, cruel Fate, always had other plans.

The two of them stopped at the very edge of the opening, out looking the grounds below, and all of a sudden Fili felt himself being hoisted up, the ground beneath him no longer existing, and his heart skipped a beat, terrified that his life now balanced in the grip of the orc holding him from behind, and he wasn't about to fool himself into believing for a second that Azog had any intention of letting him live.

However, looking back up once again, his breath caught in his throat as he recognized the three lone figures just across from them. Bilbo, Dwalin and Thorin were there, just there, almost n reaching distance, and yet, as he tried to lift an arm, the three of them were so incredibly far. It wasn't fair, and Fili almost sobbed at the injustice that was being done to him, that he could actually see his one saving grace and be shown that that one hope wasn't going to be able to save him. Why? Why hadn't he been more careful?!

Azog was growling something at his uncle now, and whatever it was, he could see it had unsettled the elder dwarf, as Thorin flinched, Dwalin's arm on his uncle the only thing holding him in place. Dwalin was holding him back, Thorin wasn't going to save him, couldn't save him. Invincible Uncle Thorin, the one person both he and Kili had always looked up to, the one person who'd stayed their constant hero, even now, was not going to be able to save him. And the realization hit him like a ton of bricks. Thorin might not be able to save me, but I can save him.

"Go!"

It was the least he could do, Fili conceded. Maybe he was going to die, after all, Thorin had told them all before leaving Bilbo's home that Death was a very real possibility and that they all had to be ready to face it, but just because his life was forfeit didn't mean that so should be the lived of Thorin, Dwalin and the others. If he was being spared a moment for last words, Fili would rather they would ensure those he cared about survived, retreated for now and lived to see another day.

"Run!"

Thorin hadn't moved, he didn't seem to be able to, and for a second, Fili selfishly found an odd sense of comfort knowing he wasn't alone, that Thorin hadn't fled, that he hadn't given in to Dwalin's slight tug on his arm. He didn't want to die alone, he didn't want to have to shut his eyes and say farewell to Kili's grin and his uncle's occasional smile for him. He had never thought it would end like this, used as bait to get to the last person he would wish harm upon, and yet it was happening, and nothing he could do was going to stop it. But Thorin hadn't moved, Thorin wasn't leaving him, and while it might have been a tiny gesture to anybody else, it meant a lot, given the fact that it was the only thing Thorin could do for him right now.

The blade he felt running through his side burned, mercilessly, and then he felt himself falling, falling, falling for what seemed almost like an eternity until he was forced to accept the reality of what had just happened when his back met the ground, hard, the pain blurring his already darkening vision. He wanted to move, lift an arm, extend a finger to his fallen sword perhaps, but whatever control he'd had over his body was gone, fleeing him like the light that was fading away from his vision.

Fili managed to turn his head to the left slightly, the dark opening of the lower-level's tunnel the only thing he could see. That and a flash of gold and brown hair turning away from him, already frantically searching for an exit.

Kili!

It took him a moment, but the hair, the armor, the dark eyes, it could only be Kili.

He tried calling out to him, tried to force his mouth to curve around the sound of his brother's name, but he could feel his body going slack, and even when he tried to move his arm towards his brother's foot, just to tell him I'm here! Kili please! His intentions fell on blind eyes, as only a moment later, Kili had vanished. Kili was gone.

"Kili!"

Thorin. It could only be Thorin, and the anguish in his uncle's voice made him hate his position all the more. He could hear them, he could hear everything, but could do nothing besides bleed out alone, up here. Kili was gone, Kili had run off, and Fili could only send a swift prayer to Mahal to keep his brother safe before his world turned black, Thorin's cry for his brother echoing in his ears.

"Let me go Dwalin!"

But Dwalin didn't, he wasn't about to let Thorin go anywhere right now, not in the state he was in. He wasn't thinking clearly, neither of them were, how could they hope to accomplish anything like this?

"Dwalin please! Let me go!" But Dwalin's grip only tightened further. He knew what his friend was going through, he'd seen it already on the battlefield oh so many years ago, when the first cracks had shown themselves in his friend. Thorin had been inconsolable the day Frerin had died, it had taken him a long time to find himself again, time that was given to him to deal with the denial and the grief that accompanied the loss of a loved one. But they didn't have that now, and Thorin's want for revenge had to be stayed. Dwalin couldn't let him up there when the younger dwarf would let his judgment be clouded by grief and revenge.

It was unfair. But then when was war ever fair? Dwalin thought grimly. War was just a slaughter machine, where the young died and the old lived, where families were torn apart and what remained was irrevocably damaged. The dead were turned into heroes and martyrs, were seen as people to aspire to when all they would tell you themselves would be that what they'd been through was nothing less than horror. Fili was dead, he wasn't ever coming back and the sooner Thorin accepted it and didn't let revenge for his sister-son cloud his judgment, the better.

Besides, Thorin was probably not going to manage to get very far with the wound in his side, so it was useless for him to even try and convince Dwalin that he was all right.

"Bilbo."

The Hobbit took a moment to actually process that he'd been called, too shocked was he at what had happened to notice anything else going on. Dwalin's voice, which so unlike what he'd been used to hearing, was what eventually roused him from whatever transe he'd been in, and without being asked twice, the little Hobbit scurried over to the larger warrior.

"Can you stay with him?" Dwalin asked urgently, eyes already darting back to the watchtower, "I need to fetch Kili before…" The rest went unsaid but it was obvious to the two what Dwalin was implying, and besides, looking down at the shocked state of his friend, Bilbo found himself hard-pressed to refuse.

"Aye, I'll stay here, you bring Kili back, all right?"

Dwalin nodded, glad he could count on their small Hobbit friend before darting off to the last place he'd seen Kili in, the small alcove beneath the platform Azog had been standing on.

Please Kili, please don't do anything reckless…

Seeing Fili die was one thing, but if he were to bring back news of Kili's death to Thorin too, the latter would fall apart, Dwalin wasn't even giving it the shadow of a doubt. He'd failed one of his nephews, and the bald warrior would be hard pressed if he were to do the same for Thorin's younger –only- nephew.

Up close, the tower looked a lot more menacing than when it was only half visible from where he'd been but a moment ago, although he still felt an uncomfortable chill race down his spine when he thought he could make out some form of moving shadows in the thick fog at the base of the tower. How was he ever going to find Kili here?

He'd decided against calling out for the lad, which would only in turn reveal his presence, and Dwalin would rather leave without any fight if it were possible, he'd seen more than his fair share of Death today, and even an orc he now found himself loathe to kill.

"Kili!" He called out, hoping the younger dwarf would hear him from wherever he was hiding, for he had not seen him exit from where he'd been standing only a few moments ago. Hopefully he hadn't been foolish enough to actually engage the pack of orcs on the higher level when he knew there wasn't a chance he'd get out of it with the upper hand.

"Kili!" Where was the lad?

He was loathe to enter the watchtower, knowing full well that once inside, he would be at a considerable disadvantage should he ever find himself needing to fight, but Kili was his priority, and the thought of any harm coming to the company's young protégé outweighed any concern Dwalin may have had for himself. Tightening his grip around Grasper and Keeper, praying to Mahal he would not have to use them, Dwalin took a step towards the entrance, peering inside to make sure there weren't any orcs on the lower level before venturing himself a little deeper, hoping he would find Kili sooner rather than later.

Keeping an ear strained for any orcs that might come his way, Dwalin hesitated for a moment before turning down the left tunnel, relying on his instincts to lead him to the one person he needed to find. It was difficult, making his way through the tight passageway, having to bend and twist his body in order to venture deeper, and he hoped he would not have to do so for much longer, because it was making him extremely uncomfortable, and Dwalin wondered how in Mahal's name Kili was still holding it together at all in such an enclosed space. Whatever wits the young archer might have had, however, were sure not to last, if whet he and Thorin had seen earlier was true.

He'd been nearing a bend when he heard the sign that someone else was around the corner, and instinctively, the bald warrior's grip tightened even more around the hilt of his axes, knuckles now beyond white with the pressure he was putting on them. He waited a moment, holding his breath and daring whatever was just outside of his vision to come closer to test how sharp his axes actually were. The other seemed to hesitate too, not too sure whether to move forward or not as Dwalin heard a pair of feet scratch along the ground at least several times, and he'd been about to give in first when the other decided to eventually round the corner, and Dwalin sighed in relief when he came face-to-face with Kili, instinctively lowering his weapon, not wanting to inadvertently hurt the lad.

"Dwalin?" Kili lowered his sword too, chest heaving still as he'd been running as fast as he could to get to the exit before it would be blocked to him. "He, they…" His whole body slumped then, now knowing he wasn't alone anymore, and the loss of his brother hit him full force as he leaned into the taller warrior, burying his face into Dwalin's tunic. "He's gone, Dwalin. He's-"

"Aye, I know." What else could he say? Dwalin reflected, as he attempted to offer what he could to the younger-only one of Thorin's nephews by bringing a hand up to rest it gently on top of his head. Dwalin had seen the ravages of war, he was familiar with what it cost and how quickly it tore people apart. Kili wasn't, he hadn't known how much it had hurt until he'd been forced to endure it himself. But unlike when he'd been younger and had had nobody other than Blain to turn to, Dwalin wasn't about to leave the young archer alone, not when Thorin would want him back safe and sound, and would be the one who would be able to offer Kili what he needed.

"We need to get you back to your uncle, lad."

Kili nodded mechanically, not really giving any feeling to his agreement, as he let himself be led away from the dark tower and the pain it had caused him. He didn't want to leave his brother, he didn't want to leave the Pale Orc there when, if he wanted to, he could get revenge but Dwalin bringing him close to him had made Kili realize how utterly exhausted his body was, and as his hand went numb, the sword it had previously held slipped from his grip and was sent to the floor. But Kili didn't care that he was now more or less weaponless, he didn't care that Dwalin was leading him to safety, he didn't care that Thorin was waiting for him just a few feet away, he didn't care about anything. Fili was dead, and he'd been unable to do anything to stop it.

It should hurt, he knew it ought to hurt, realizing that the one person who was always there for him wa snow gone, but Kili couldn't feel anything, despite willing himself to. He tried to be angry, he tried to be sad, he tried to feel something, but the more he tried, the more he realized that he just couldn't, he didn't feel anything except an odd sense of emptiness, which grew with each step he took, bringing him further from the watchtower and the brother he was leaving behind. He couldn't' bring Fili with him, not now, when they had to get away from here, but as Dwalin picked up the pace, Kili thought he could hear him talking to him, promising him they would come back and pressing him to go on faster, but to be honest, Kili didn't make much sense of it all. The world was a blur of grey and white, any sounds he could hear were fading into the distance until all he was able to make out was the rush of blood in his own ears.

One foot in front of the other, yes, just like that. Was that Dwalin talking to him or was it Kili just trying to get his body to move by himself? To be quite honest, Kili wasn't too sure what was going on, much like when Tauriel had healed his wound back in Bard's house, he knew she was there, he knew she was doing something to him, but apart form that, he couldn't recall anything else that had happened. Fili was dead, a part of him felt like it was being torn apart, but Kili couldn't make out anything else, aside the endless white color that was spread in front of his feet, an endless desert of nothing but that, white snow, and Kili felt lonely.

Yes, Dwalin was maybe with him, he thought, but it was something else entirely, something he hadn't realized he'd had until it was gone. The vast chasm once filled by his brother was now nothing but that, a huge, empty whole, something that would never be mended, no matter how much effort he put into it or how much affection Thorin might show him from now on. That wound would be with him forever, and Kili stumbled at the realization.

"You all right?" Dwalin's gruff voice brought him back to the present, far away from his own realizations and yet so close to seeing first hand what his family had become. They would make it back to Thorin, and his uncle would be there for him, but there wasn't going to be his brother by his side, there wasn't going to be a brother to remind him to be a little more cautious next time, there wasn't going to be a brother who would insist on making sure he hadn't sported any injury, there wasn't going to be-

There wasn't going to be Fili, Fili was gone.

And Thorin was all that remained, Kili saw for himself as they approached the two other figures that had been waiting for them, and Kili couldn't help it when he fell into his uncle's arms, making the most of the moment to hide form the world and all the hurt it was throwing him right now. Thorin would protect him, Thorin would make it all better, like he always did.

But then again, that had only been a childish image he'd clung to, and the realization that his uncle wasn't the hero he'd painted him out to be only had him burying his head deeper in the other's chest, seeking the comfort he desperately needed and which Thorin was unable to give him, the arms that wrapped around his back doing very little for comfort, even thought Kili appreciated the effort.

"I'm sorry Kili."

He knew there was a lot more his uncle wanted to say but was unable to right now, and Kili wasn't going to fault him, not when he opened his mouth to try and say something, anything, and was unable to make a sound pass his throat safe for a strangled sob.

Why then did he feel a small flicker of anger start burning deep inside of him? It made no sense. But neither so did losing the one person who had always been there for him, he reflected bitterly, as he pulled himself away from the embrace, looking back into Thorin's red-rimmed eyes, much a mirror of his own.

No, nothing made much sense to him anymore.