The days proved no better than that of the night, each hour awake spent enduring the most torturous of longings, the poignant pain of his heart at war with the blazing fires of his lust. Both made for a potent poison, Lezard left sick with it, with his love and with his desire, each fueling a red hot passion that had led him to accomplish the impossible again and again. That drive inside him, the forbidden knowledge his reward, untold power his to command, and still he was made helpless! Left to the mercy of cold, disinterested eyes, and a gnawing hunger that was all his own.

He wanted her. Wanted the Goddess with a yearning that went beyond anything ever experienced in this mortal life. He was made slave by it, devoted and desperate, hands ever reaching for that which they were not made fit for, and yet still he tried. Again and again, with countless depravities and the most blasphemous of sins staining his very soul, he had dragged the woman down from that lofty perch of hers up in the Heavens to trap them both in this never ending nightmare of indecision.

It was both heaven and it was hell, his every fantasy within reach. So close and yet so far, the murky waters of a lust and a love at war with each other, the right and the wrong of them both such that more often than not, he floundered between them. That push and pull play of his heart versus his libido, resulted in touches stolen, his immense guilt mixing with that of the illicit thrill, there was a limit to just how much a sinner could endure! He felt the strain of it wearing at his control, each lonely night that saw his bed remain empty bringing them a step closer to all sense of patience lost.

Time an enemy to them both, Lezard still tried to play at doing as right by her as he could, the proper respect and reverence shown. He attempted to be the gentleman, to behave as much as any one man could when caught in the grip of the ultimate in temptations. His feelings were a double edge sword in that, Lezard's love that which lent him the finite patience his lust was steadily chipping away at. Piece by piece was being worn away, all of his love's firm resolve and determination getting him nowhere near closer to that which he sought, the Goddess' heart still as elusive now as it had ever first been.

Tortured by that truth, Lezard could only strive forward, the impossible sought. The inevitable lingered near, it's oppressive weight felt by them both. It loomed overhead, seemed to color each one of their encounters, that barely repressed sexual hunger a tension that lingered, his hand catching at hers, even more touches skimming over the silk and satin fabric of her clothes. It fed off what it could, preyed on the shiver that trembled through the Goddess' form, grew fat off her wary energy and the haunted look in Lenneth's eyes. It forced an awareness of him, the woman cautious when once she had been completely dismissive.

No longer able to outright ignore him, there was that sliver of unrest inside her, that disturbing flash of fear that colored that beautiful blue gaze as it focused so completely on him. At long last acknowledged, that regard, no matter the flavor of feeling behind it, had a dizzying, intoxicating rush of euphoria surging through him. It purred out of him along with her name, that hand held captive by his used against her, Lezard drawing ever closer to Lenneth. Unwavering was her stare, that apprehension maintained in the look that she gave to him so strong that the man was surprised that the Goddess hadn't flinched at his nearness.

Finally and truly noticed by her, Lezard wasn't yet of mind to say if this was an improvement or not. Not with that disturbed look expressed, Lenneth teetering on an edge the same as he. Just as there was violence inside him, the same was inside her, a fight or flight instinct that seemed to shiver through her. She gave in to neither, the Goddess all but frozen in place, just watching with blue eyes that saw all, every last filthy sin, wicked thought, and depraved urge that made up his soul. What little good there was found could only flounder, all but swallowed up in that sea of darkness that left him ever so unworthy. Heretic that he was, the brand of criminal upon him, there had been no other recourse left to him, then to act. To seize that which he had wanted, the Goddess—the woman he so loved and admired.

With those same filthy hands that had so blatantly sinned against her, Lezard was able to touch Lenneth now. To do more than touch as he so desired. That lust that spiked through him, made his own fingers tremble, the smooth softness of her cheek within reach. He had murdered countless many for this moment, had damned an entire universe for just the chance, and had ushered the world into a lawless ruin. He had done so without a second's thought, without nary a moment's hesitation, yet one look from her left him to falter, the blue purity of her eyes narrowed with a provocation.

She was taunting him then, that one look goading Lezard to do his worst. Daring him to discard what remained of his heart, and prove instead the beast that he in truth was. The monster whose lust had stolen all chance from the world, Lenneth was girding a tiger in it's own lair, wanting even more reason to hate him. The fear and loathing that came off her in waves, shook through her slim frame yet the woman continued to bravely defy him. To make a mockery of his own inner struggles, neither his lust nor his love able to chip away at the core of who Lenneth was at heart. Proud Valkyrie, fierce warrior, benevolent Goddess, hers was a love that had forgiven many and saved souls, and he was desperate for it.

Desperate for her, he'd settle for no less than Lenneth's everything. Taking what he could, forcing what he couldn't, Lezard longing for love, but settling for hate if it meant he'd be in her head, her every thought of him, her heart filled with the fear and loathing for him and what he would do.

To be continued….

I did try to continue this past the last paragraph, but didn't like anything I tried to add on past the final sentence. Just felt so tacked on and forced. _ Plus this wasn't the drabble I had set out to write (maybe I can do it for five.), so this one ended up being very free form, watching through my fingers to see where it was going to end up type of deal.

Though part of me feels like it was trying to set up the non con route from the original version of the drabble series. But I am on the fence about that. If you read the first version of the series, I actually had two endings to that route. One that went all the way, and the other where he stopped himself. I am so undecided on which route I want to go for this...so I am trying to avoid going into reworking that arc's drabbles until I can decide.

There's no rush to decide, since I don't have to do things in order for this series. The drabbles jump around the timeline, little moments detailed as I think of them. So far every drabble has been a Lezard POV...I am almost ninety five percent sure ALL the drabbles should stay as a Lezard narrative. But you never know. I might get inspired and pop in a look at Lenneth's thoughts someday here...who knows. _

I'm still working on OSVP too...just wanted to work on something SHORT before I commit to writing another long chapter. Cause yes I am one of those who don't like stopping work on a chapter I've already got part of it written out. I don't know if that is my OCD at work there...But I almost never can stop writing one chapter, to work on another...even when I need a break from the current chapter...I just have this I have to finish this chapter first mentality. Which means I can have half a chapter written, then get stuck on it, and be unable to switch to something else...I sit there fighting with writer's block until I can get writing again, AND to my satisfaction. Makes me a slow as hell writer though…. _

-Michelle

Deliberatee, thank you! It DOES help. People might think it doesn't, but it so does in my case. Sadly I don't write as fast or as often as I used to...I hope that though I am not doing as much in terms of quantity, I can at least make up for it in quality. Key word, HOPE!

Yes, I have so many I want to work on! To fix up and revamp. It's hard to know where to start, or get enough time to do everything. The other day I was looking at Celestial Maiden, and it made me think of all these ideas on how I could improve the story, and make it a better read...and not so short and rushed. Though at that point I was still trying to finish OSVP chapter 12, so couldn't abandon that chapter to work on something else. I'm also still trying to figure out how to write Triumph's Tribulation….how to get that first damn chapter started….it's sorta Lezard's Triumph, but it's going to be massively overhauled, with new some new story ideas to it, and some of the original versions' ideas taken out of it. Honestly, in my head I've changed it enough, that it deserves the new name to the story. But I haven't been able to get that one started….

Non con….well as I mentioned in my author's note, I haven't yet made a decision about the non con arc that the drabble series originally had. I guess we'll see what happens eventually together. Either I'll make an outright decision on it, or Lezard will free form dictate it to me. _

Thank you again for your reviews, and I hope you keep on trying to motivate me with them! :D