Phase 2

Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long.

First day of phase two went by pretty slow. It was only Thursday that the two of them broke up. Now it's Saturday. Meredith slept in until ten, well she didn't actually sleep, more like woke up at seven, fell asleep again, woke up at eight and laid there staring at the opposite wall. Izzie knocked on the door around nine, gave up after ten minutes, and went back down stairs.

Meredith is now in phase two. Phase two will consist of ignoring everyone and everything around her. She'll cry a little bit, and sleep or sit around all day long. Defiantly a slow day. Maybe she should get up now...maybe she should take a shower...it's been two days. Yes a shower sounds good.

Meredith gets up out of her bed slowly, rubbing her eyes and yawning loudly. Making her way to the bathroom she peeks out the window at the street below, Kids play basket ball and a neighbor gets in his car. And life goes on...

In the bathroom Meredith turns on the shower to warm it up while she slips out of her clothes, leaving them on the floor. She steps into the shower. Hot water meets her pale cold body. She just stands there facing the shower head, letting the water cascade down her neck, warming her up and making her feel a little better. Soon she realizes that tears have been cascading down her cheeks, like the water. It's been twenty minutes. She wipes her face, cleans up and gets out.

The whole time she's been trying not to think about anything. Because if she thinks, she'll start thinking about the thing she is trying not to think about...which is Derek. If she thinks about him, then she'll fall apart, which would ruin the whole idea of getting better at this dealing...and whatever.

Brushing her teeth and combs her hair and heads down stairs. Now to turn her face into a vacant one. She enters the kitchen sluggishingly and slumps down at the table. Izzie and George where talking before she entered, and have now gone completely silent.

"Hey Mer... How are you feeling?" George greets, Izzie gives him a look that tells him to leave her alone, and puts a hot cup of coffee in front of Meredith.

"It's hot." Izzie warns, Meredith takes it gladly, but doesn't show it. She takes a sip, closing her eyes and enjoying the burning of the liquid as it makes it's way down. George looks at her wide eyed, he had burned his tongue not five minutes ago.

Complete silence for about a minute before Izzie sighs and just leaves. George stares at Meredith for another minute and follows suit.

"What are we going to do?" George asks Izzie looking back at the kitchen, where a depressed Meredith sits.

"Nothing..."

"Izzie! Common, we can't just not do something."

"Yes we can."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously...and since when has anything we've done helped her? And besides, it may seem cruel...but Meredith needs to deal with this on her own for once." Izzie is satisfied with this and sits down on the coach.

"But what if something bad happens?" George is surprised at Izzie.

"Then we'll interfere."

Meredith sits alone at the bar at Jo's. It's three in the afternoon. Jo already commented on how it's kind of early for her to be drinking, but piped up when he saw the look on her face. So Meredith is just sitting there nursing a beer. She decided to stay away from the tequila, it only leads to trouble.

"Well isn't this nice. The Dirty Mistresse's Club, I didn't know there was a meeting." Mark sits down at the stool next to her and orders a drink. She just stares straight ahead. "Thats okay, you don't have to talk to me, you can just listen." He looks at Meredith with that smug look he always has on and continues.

"Derek's not with Rose..." He stops for a response and smiles when he sees her squirm in her seat.

"Jo? Can I have another?" Meredith asks, her voice almost not heard.

"He showed you the land right? Well of course he did...why wouldn't he have shown you..."

"Actually, he didn't..." Meredith is looking at him now.

He can see how torn up she is, "Well you should. and just between the dirty mistresses, the view is amazing."

We are tired. We are scared. Denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later, we have to put aside our denial and face the world head-on, guns blazing.

Later that day Meredith is in her car driving down a road she's never been down before. She had stopped at a fork a little while back and stopped. She looked at the directions Mark gave her, cursed herself for doing this, and just kept on going.

She thinks she shouldn't do this. That this is a stupid idea and it's only going to make things worse. But here she is, in a car, going somewhere she probably would have seen before if she hadn't freaked out.

Sexy steps, this is just all part of the sexy steps. Soon Meredith comes to a stop. She's here. She sits in her car for a minute or two; just wondering what seeing this will do to her. Meredith takes a deep breath, in...and out. Then she's out of the car and walking up a little hill. She stops and looks out. There it is. She takes in a sharp breath; The view and the land. Meredith doesn't know what to say...not that anyone is around to hear her.

Meredith wonders why she ever freaked out in the first place. She bets that if she had seen this first, if Derek had brought her here before he showed her the plans, she would have been a little better about it. It is just so amazing.

She turns around and looks where the house will be, and at the huge yard they will have. She can picture it all right there. She can picture a porch swing, and the two of them sitting there together, rapped in a blanket against the cold nights. A tear slips from her eye. She's been in denial this whole time. Of course she wanted this, she wants it. She wants this now and that may never happen. Guess she'll have to do something about it.

Okay, how was this? Glad I had McSteamy step in?