Reviews please and thank you!
I do not own Homestuck. I really need to work on my dialogue apparently.
"Seriously, what the fuck?" the ghost asked somewhat calmly after they were out of earshot.
"I could ask you the same! Why in the fuck were you standing up for that… that… Strider?" the live Karkat responding, adding emphasis to indicate that a Strider was the worst possible thing you could be in paradox space.
The ghost crossed his arms, but refused to hunch under the insult. "Just because you're still having issues with your Strider-"
"Why in the fuck does everyone keep accusing me of having issues with Strider just because he started dating Terezi? It's not my fucking fault he was a grade-A nook hygienic product and the most annoying fuck of all time way before he even saw her. But that isn't what we're talking about! We are talking about his post-scratch brother and how much of a fucking nooksniffer he's bound to be!"
The ghost Cancer's eyes narrowed. "You sound awfully defensive."
Karkat hissed as though he had been hit. "I am not being defensive! Why the fuck are you making this about Strider?"
"Because you aren't over him, and that's part of both our problems!" The deceased troll snapped, losing some of his earlier calm.
Karkat stood for a moment, his eyes wide in shock. After a while some of the tension drained out of his stance, and at his dead self with a rather stunned expression. "What?" he asked, unable to keep a slight tremble out of his voice, and he hated himself for it.
Dead!Karkat deflated a bit as well, sensing the decline in antagonism coming from his live self. "You aren't upset at Strider because he's dating Terezi. You're upset with Terezi because you still have black feelings for Strider, and you don't think that, as a human, he would be willing to manage different quadrants at the same time, even if he was capable of sustaining a Kismesitude at all. And if he's not, Terezi is already his girlfriend, which blocks you from even attempting something more flushed. Not to mention he always adamantly denies any attraction to 'guys' because he 'isn't homosexual.'" He used air quotes to emphasize the doubted validity of the statement. Finished with his explanation, the ghost Knight waited to see how the live Knight would react.
Karkat stood for a moment, slack-jawed. "How- How could you possibly know that?" He seemed to recover a little as an idea seemed to form in his head. "Dave and Terezi haven't been dating that long. From what I can tell, we haven't done much that would result in the timeline splintering and creating a doomed timeline where you would have died with that knowledge. And what the fuck makes you think I'm not over him?! It was only a brief flare of dark feelings! It faded just as quickly as it came!" He denied, knowing that he would have to admit to the initial attraction if he was going to get away from this conversation with his pride intact.
The ghost sighed. "Technically, I, or rather, you, haven't died yet."
"What?" the Cancer asked again, confusion outweighing fear of being called out on his feelings.
"That was how I knew where to go find Dirk, and how I knew was supposed to meet you. I haven't died yet. I told you all of those things before you died so I would know where to go when it finally happened."
Karkat mulled that over for a moment. "Then how could you be here in the past to tell me what you would need to do in the future?" Karakt felt just that little bit dumber for having asked the question. Not because he didn't understand, but because paradox space was bullshit.
The ghost didn't reply at first. His posture relaxed, and he glanced toward the ground. Karkat was very familiar with that stance. It was how he looked when he was tired of… well, everything. "It has to do with how you died. The circumstances were pretty unique. An unstable time loop propelled your ghost… Propelled me to an earlier point on a stable time loop in paradox space where I would be able to intersect with the alpha timeline when I was meant to meet you and help perpetuate my creation in the first place."
Karkat was tugging at his hair, trying to puzzle out what the fuck his ghost had just spat out. The other Cancer saved him some time. "Don't worry about it too much. You'll understand it at the exact moment when I die."
"That… That makes no fucking sense! And what do my totally platonic, non-existent feelings for Strider have to do with this?" Karkat snapped, going on the defensive once more.
The ghost lifted his eyes to his past-live self once more. "He is the Knight of Time, isn't he?"
Karkat mulled that over for a few moments. "That still doesn't make- No. No. NO. There is no way in fuck!" he shouted as it started to dawn on him. "That Gog-damned grub of an orphaned lusus!" he snarled, grabbing the ghost and throwing him against the wall. He kept him pinned there by the sleeves of his shirt. "It's not true! There is no way in fuck I would die for him!"
The ghost's reply was angry, but lacking the usual heat that went into Karkat's speech. "I know what you're thinking. And you don't get it, not entirely. And I know telling you that you don't get it won't help you get it, but that's what I'm supposed to tell you."
Karkat laughed sarcastically and released the other troll. The ghost straightened out his shirt while Karkat paced back and forth for a moment. "What the fuck. Did I write this down right after I died so I wouldn't forget?"
The ghost shrugged, not the least bit perturbed by the other troll's sudden hysteria hidden beneath the sarcasm. "Why bother? Paradox space doesn't let you say anything you aren't supposed to anyway. Complete and utter bullshit," he muttered. "But the inevitability and cause of our death isn't what you wanted to discuss."
The Knight of Blood paused in his laughter and pacing. He then paced back and forth for a few steps more, clearly agitated, and understandably so. It was obvious he wanted to continue denying what his dead-self had just said, fight it tooth and nail until he bled his disgusting blood all over the walls of the fate he was trapped in. But he knew it was as unavoidable as the arrival of Lord English had been, and he needed to move on, not just because it was what he was supposed to do, but for the sake of his sanity.
"You and the other Strider…" Karkat started, unsure of how he wanted to phrase his question. But then he just decided to spit it out, since beating around the bush like that flower-thing Strider would sometimes talk about was a waste of precious time. "You're vacillating quadrants with him, aren't you?" The heated shouting reserved only for the dead!Strider, the normally unwanted physical contact. The only other explanation was that his ghost had gone freaking insane, and honestly, he hoped the latter was the case.
"Yes," dead!Karkat responded plainly, dashing the live Karkat's hopes.
Karkat shook his head. "I don't get it. He seems like the exact same type of nooksniffer as his sibling-thing-"
"-You've only known him for a few hours," the ghost interrupted, but Karat just waved him off, not finished explaining
"How in the world did you get into a vacillating relationship with him? I mean, being flushed for a Strider seems ridiculous enough, not to mention I've seen how fucked up a vacillating relationship can get. Then again, maybe a fucked-up relationship is the only kind I can get. But seriously, I didn't think I was that desperate," he finished glaring at his dead self.
The deceased Knight glared at the troll that used to be him. "Gog, will I ever be done insulting my past and future selves?" he snarled, screwing his eyes shut in frustration and slapping his forehead for good measure. "Look, I wasn't all too interested in it at first either, but you know what? Even without knowing all that paradox space bullshit, Dirk was interested. Unlike Strider, he was actually open to a relationship with another 'boy' and was even willing to experiment with a Kismestude, even though his initial feelings were more flushed. And do you know what else, Vantas?" he moved to stand right in front of the other troll. Karkat backed off immediately, uncomfortable with the proximity as well as the strength of emotion behind the words.
Unwilling to be pushed around, by a dead version of himself no less, he mustered up some of the usual false anger he hid his true feelings behind. "What?" he asked, for the third and last time, doing his best to make it sound like a challenge.
"I'm happy. I am so fucking happy you wouldn't believe it." The words were stated so plainly that Karkat couldn't argue, no matter how badly he wanted to. He glared at his ghost, his lips curling up into a snarl, but the gesture looked far more defensive than aggressive.
As his ghost stood, waiting for him to reply, he wanted to slap some sense into himself. That thought was more confusing than it ought to be, given the situation, and that just made him angrier. What pissed him off the most was that he couldn't figure out who he was really angry at, or why he was angry at them.
"Yeah, well, that is fan-FUCKING-tastic for you. It must be nice to actually not have to be more concerned with protecting the universe and have the free time to deal with such a convoluted relationship."
Dead!Karkat narrowed his eyes. He knew what it looked like when he was hurting. "It is nice, not having to feel worthless and alone." It was stated calmly.
The other Cancer winced at having his bluff called so easily, and with such little doubt or emotion, especially since it was coming from his own mouth, in a weird sort of roundabout way. He snarled at the ghost and turned on his heels, fleeing in the direction of his somewhat friends. He hesitated right as they came into view though. Dirk was smirking, and everyone else seemed to be laughing. Rose and Kanaya were sitting side by side, looking as amused as he had ever seen them. Terezi had her arms wrapped around Strider's leg and was smiling up at him. Her smile was being returned with the closest Karkat had ever seen Strider come to smiling.
When they noticed him standing there awkwardly, the Strider siblings' looks returned to neutral. Actually, if he looked very closely, Dirk almost seemed worried. It made sense when he felt the other ghost come up beside him. As much as he wanted to know why they had been laughing, and why it had stopped, he couldn't bring himself to ask. As the deceased Knight subtly took his reserved place by the Prince, Karkat couldn't help but agree; it must be nice to not feel worthless and alone.