.o.O. Merlin .O.o.

"Frost! Yer' Dead!"

Hiccup glanced up from his book, slice of buttered toast halfway to his mouth. Looking right, the direction of the shout, he watched as students filing into the Great Hall for breakfast were bowled over and shoved into benches, tables and other students in an interesting domino effect. Merida was on the warpath, her face as red as her hair. She was actually snarling at the students between the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables and plowing through those who didn't get the hint.

Hiccup blinked and peered left, to see, yep. There was Jack, the snowy-haired Slytherin sneering back at Merida as he skillfully weaved in and out of the crowd. One of these days, (when he wasn't avoiding, leg-locker jinxes from a riled up Merida and leaping over the tripped up students) Jack was going to have to teach Hiccup how to 'Crowd-Dodge' as Jack like to call it. It looked like an important life-skill, judging by the murderous expression on Merida's face.

Shrugging at the antics, Hiccup returned to his book and munched on his toast.

'Wait.' Hiccup shot back up to see Merida continue her bull-charge out of the Great Hall. 'It's not even breakfast yet. Since when did Jack and Merida start up this early?'

"Since today."

The oval-faced, brown-haired Hufflepuff coughed on his dry mouthful and twisted to see a Ravenclaw with knee-long, gold hair standing behind him. She smiled. "Morning Hiccup."

"Rapunzel, hey. Uh," Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck, "Did I say that out loud?"

"Nope. It was just on your face." Brightly replied Rapunzel, sitting down beside him. Most of Hiccup's peers ignored her, though some eyed her up suspiciously, close to outright glaring. Hiccup stared around in confusion. 'Wait, what had Rapunzel done to them?'

The girl in question turned to him with a small, knowing smile. "You obviously don't know." She nodded at the entrance that Jack and Merida had just stormed through moments ago. "Quidditch season's just started."

"Oh? Ohh." Hiccup smacked his forehead. That explained everything. The early kick off between Jack and Merida, the subtle hostility that 'sweet, innocent, loved-by-everyone' Rapunzel was being greeted with at the Hufflepuff table. Hell, it actually explained the vague sense of gloomy despair that his House was under since Sunday. Hufflepuff hardly ever did well in the tournament. Last time the House actually won the cup was back in 1976. Didn't look like a good year this year either.

Rapunzel smiled, "Explain much?"

"Just about everything." Hiccup picked up his book again and pulled a pencil out from behind his ear. "Everything from the doom and gloom of the Common Room to-"

CLANK! THUNK! CRASH!

"Merida Dunbroch!"

Hiccup winced at what sounded like the first casualty of Jack and Merida's legendry rivalry. From the sound alone, he could guess that it had to have involved a suit of armour, a window and the ill timing of Professor Dunbroch. 'Merida's going to be so pissed.'

Clearly Rapunzel thought the same, going by her wince. They sat awkwardly listening to the Transfiguration Professor scold her own daughter.

"I have never, in all my years such blaetent disrespect for school property!"

Rapunzel grimaced. Hiccup snapped his book shut and picked up another piece of toast as the shouts echoed through the Great Hall. "Sounds like things are getting ugly. Let's go."

Rapunzel nodded quickly in reply and the two of them slid off the bench. She made a point of walking at a slower pace than her usual trot. Hiccup was grateful, he could feel the stares of everyone behind him. He followed Rapunzel as she skirted around the crowd of students surrounding Professor Dunbroch and Merida. She paused slightly as the two started up the staircase, Hiccup gripping the stone railing for support. Behind them the argument continued.

"Detention Merida. I shall see you in my office at five."

"But I hav' Quidditch practice!"

"Well then maybe you'll think twice befer' startin' duels in the hallways!"

"I swear, they get worse every year." Smiled Rapunzel, turning back to wait for Hiccup at the top of the stairs. Hiccup slowly finished the last few steps. Rapunzel watched him worriedly. "How's your leg?"

He shrugged, walking past her to the next staircase. "It's fine. I can walk fine. Can't run yet, but I'm getting there." Rapunzel thankfully let the subject drop and trotted beside him as they climbed to the North Tower.

"Don't you turn yer' back on me young lady!"

"Why? Are ye' gonna expel me too?!"

Hiccup winced, struggling to think of something to say. He'd keep up the small talk if it kept them distracted from the fight that was quickly turning from 'ugly' to 'apocalyptic.'

"Did you do the Arithmancy homework?" Ah yes, homework. Homework was a safe topic.

"The essay on muggle statistics? Yeah, finished it Saturday."

Figures, just like Rapunzel to spend her weekend doing- 'wait.' Hiccup froze in the middle of the corridor. 'Muggle statistics?'

Rapunzel walked ahead of him, before she realized that he wasn't with her anymore. She turned worried to see her classmate pinching the bridge of his nose. Her own eyes widened. "Did you forget?"

Hiccup shook his head, frowning at the floor, "No ... The one time I do it; and it's on the wrong topic."

Rapunzel winced, then shrugged. "It's not the end of the world. I'm sure that Professor Merlin will look over it just this once."

Hiccup smiled without humour, "Or this 'twice, or this 'thrice.'" The lanky, brown-haired Hufflepuff looked up and mirrored Rapunzel's shrug. "I've been extraordinarily busy this year." He walked past Rapunzel, limping slightly on his prosthetic leg.

Rapunzel, remembering how he got that souvonier, didn't doubt him.

.o.O.o.

"Hiccup my boy! How can I help you? Make it quick though, I have an appointment two hours ago."

If professor Merlin could be described in one word, eccentric wouldn't even cover half of it. The tall, twig-thin, long-bearded man, who refused to wear anything but bright sky blue robes was a school legend. Half the student population thought he was a nutter, while the other half thought he was secretly a wanted criminal in five separate countries.

Everyone thought that he was a genius.

It was just Hiccup's luck that he was Merlin's "Unofficially Favourite Student." Especially since the Tournament last year.

"Uh, sir. I need to talk to you about my essay."

"Mmmm?" Merlin adjusted the focus knob on, what he liked to call, the "microscope." How Merlin managed to get muggle artifacts to work in Hogwarts was an untold mystery of the school. Hiccup suspected that not even Professor Merlin himself knew how he did it.

"It's just that ... I may have done it on the wrong topic."

A dark brown and tawny owl gave a hissing cough in the background. It sounded suspiciously like a snigger. Merlin frowned and looked up from the 'microscope.' "Oh come now Archimedes there's no need for that!" He removed his glowing wand from the complex looking piece of machinery. "Nox." The wand tip went dark and the professor finally turned from the desk to face Hiccup entirely.

Hiccup scratched the back of his head. "I, uh, I've been busy, with, uh-"

"Your dragon I'd think."

Hiccup's eyes widened, "How did you-"

"Know? Pfft, simple Hiccup!" Merlin flashed him a knowing glance as he lit a long-stemmed pipe and started smoking. "I've still got my contacts in the Ministry; brain-dead warthogs though they are." He puffed a smoke ring and watched as it rised towards the ceiling. "I may have a couple of rumours bouncing around in my ear about a certain student of mine trying to set up a certain society. I may have heard from a little bird-"

"Hhhe hhhe hhe"

Melin frowned at Archemides but continued anyway, "That a certain 'dragon sanctuary' has just been founded and is applying to the Ministry to have certain amendments made to the 'Statute of 1642,' regarding the ownership of dragons as 'pets.' In the meanwhile, using muggle technology rather than magic to care for a certain 'Draco occidentalis ignus' otherwise known in the common tongue as a Night Fury; while at the same time adjusting to his own life in a similar manner." Merlin's blue eye were very bright under his bushy, white eyebrows. He pushed a chair towards Hiccup. "Might as well take the weight off of that leg while you're here."

Hiccup frowned almost imperceptibly, but took the offered seat anyway. Merlin removed his pipe and started replacing the tobacco with fresh leaves. Cursing slightly when he realised that it was still lit. He looked up at Hiccup as he extinguished the pipe.

"I have to say, I'm most impressed with you. You used your head, you're still using your head. More than I can say for half the people I know and most are five times your age boy." He relit the pipe with a tap of his wand. "I'd love to hear a blow-by-blow of how you got that harness to work. That right there is scientific genius my boy."

"Thank you?"

Merlin waved non-comittedly. "That still doesn't excuse the fact that you haven't handed in a single decent essay this year." His blue eyes peered at Hiccup through the smoke. "I have half a mind to give you detention." Hiccup felt his stomach sink.

"I am sorry sir. It's just that I've-"

"Been busy, You did say. Don't worry, I won't hold it against you." Merlin puffed for a moment on his pipe thoughtfully. "What I'm concerned with though are your up-coming exams in June. Have you forgotten your O.W.L.s already?"

"No sir."

Merlin snorted, "You just don't think you need my class to train dragons." He turned to pick up a quill and a sheet of parchment. "I don't blame you, arithmancy is a useless skill." Merlin waved to the charts and graphs on the wall, "What do wizards use numbers for? Nothing! We hold the greatest and oldest science in the palm of our hands and what do we do with it? We use it to find out what colour our aura is." Merlin snorted, "Useless bit of dribble, that it is."

Behind him, Hiccup could swear he could see Archimedes roll his eyes. He refrained from doing the same thing himself.

"But muggles, look at what muggles can do with their 'arithmancy!'" Professor Merlin gestured at his microscope, at the models of aeroplanes on the shelves. "They can use their 'mathematics' to solve all their problems without magic! They need to fly? They'll make their own metal wings. Can't cast engorgio? They'll use lenses to see things even we, with all our magic can not!" Merlin continued to puff on his pipe in silence, not realising that it had gone out during his passionate speech.

Hiccup decided to get them back on topic.

"And what has this got to do with the O.W.L.s sir?"

"Hmm, oh yes. Did you know that you don't have to sit the exam in June?" Merlin chuckled at Hiccup's confused expression.

"There's another option?"

"Oh there's always another option boy. You just have to find it." Merlin stood up from the desk and walked to the window, which he then opened to shoo Archimedes outside. The fat, old eagle owl refused to budge. Merlin closed the window again, frowning at his grumpy companion. "But yes," turning back to Hiccup, "aside from sitting a written exam, you have the opportunity to do a project instead. And I must say, judging by that catapult you built last year, you are more than capable of using arithmancy practically."

Hiccup rubbed the back of his neck. Being appreciated still felt weird, even after last year. "Uh, sure. I could do that."

"You'll have to, I've already put your name down for practicals instead of the written exam!" Merlin beamed at him, Hiccup felt his stomach sink in a mixture of guilt and horror. Trust Merlin to saddle his students unexpectedly with massive projects. Bugger him. Well, there was only one thing to say to a teacher in a situation like this.

"Thank you sir. I'll get started on it right away."

"Oh I'm sure you will Henry. Here these are the guidelines for the exams." Merlin pulled a sealed letter out from under Archimedes. The grumpy, elderly owl hooted as he slipped off of the windowsill and into the open sky. Merlin quickly slammed the window before his irate companion recovered. "I won't be expecting any essays from you in the near future, seeing as how 'busy' you always seem to be."

"Whoot!"

Thump!

Merlin ignored the death glare from the dazed owl in the window and passed the envelope to Hiccup. "I suggest starting early. Who knows? You may realise what you want to do for it by the end of the day!"

Hiccup walked out of the cramped classroom feeling like Professor Merlin had just nailed him with the detention of a lifetime.

.o.O. Author's Notes .O.o.

I gave into my Inner-Hiccup. This oneshot has actually been sitting in my Doc Manager for AGES. I really wanted to try writing Merlin from Disney's 'The Sword in the Stone' as a divination teacher ever since it was suggested on the original Tumblr blog by an anon. The suggestion went along the lines of;

"Hah, Merlin would be a PERFECT divination teacher, especially considering that in his original cannon he kept forgetting that he was in the Dark Ages, and that you can't explain the science of helicopters and aeroplanes to uneducated little street urchins."

So ... I "suggested" the idea to Infinitechange.

Their Reaction: "Yay Merlin! :)"

What they actually got: Hiccup angst and a healthy dose of Archemides and Professor Merlin. Also, teasers for Year Four AND Year Five. Don't you feel lucky?

Kind of a head-cannon of mine: Hiccup uses this "project" as an excuse to set up a betting ring. It doesn't hurt that he's making money off of it. Or that Rapunzel's ready to help him get it done. Merlin probably knew that Hiccup would make the most of this project. No matter his feelings on the subject or his dedication to science instead of magic, he still teaches divination. Maybe he SEEs into the BEYOND. Or maybe he's just got really good contacts at the Ministry.

What happened during Year Four? Where's Toothless while Hiccup's stuck in Hogwarts? What's the B.O.R.E.D. society?

Pffft! What makes me think that I'll tell you? I abhore spoilers, they take the fun out of EVERYTHING.

Until next time,

Anyelse