A/N: Hey guys! I'm back. :) So, here's your new chapter, all ready for you to read and review!
Chapter Four
Hurt and Betrayed
"So you… live here?" Logan asked, looking around at my modest apartment that I had rented for the time being. At one side, there was a window and a bed, with a cupboard at the bed's feet. There was a toilet/bathroom attached to it, following to a kitchen and then a living room with a settee set.
"Yes, I do. And I'm perfectly happy with the place," I snapped at him.
"With that friend of yours just round the corner?"
"Absolutely," I said, rudely.
Of course I didn't mind telling him that everyone at my workplace lived around here.
"What are you so snappy about, Marie?" He asked, sitting on the couch.
"Will you stop calling me that?" I said in an exasperated voice, sitting opposite to him on the couch.
"I will not," he smiled. "And I want answers now. Quick and straight. And off with that frown on your face."
"Hey!" I complained.
"Enough with your whinin' now. Tell me, why don't you want to go back?"
"Because I don't," I said, picking up a magazine from the table in front of me.
In a blink of my eye, Logan took the magazine from me and flipped it back on the table. I looked at him with a frown in my face.
"Look at me when I speak."
"But I don't want to look at you," I said, turning my face away.
"What has happened to you, kid?" He asked, standing up. "Why are you being like this?"
"Because I'm tired of you, Logan," I said, standing up too. I was angry and Logan was going to face the real Rogue. The Rogue that I am now. "I'm tired of you being yourself. I just want you to get lost from my life. Why won't you leave me alone?"
"Because you are my responsibility!" He shouted. "You are that one thing that I don't want to mess up in my life!"
"Well, then congrats," I said, feigning a smile, "You've already accomplished the task! You left me alone, behind you. You never looked back. And now, when you suddenly realized that you want that old life back, you come here being all daddy with me and wish me to forget everything you did!"
"I told you that I'm not trying to be your father. I'm just a friend who is trying to keep the promise that he–"
That's when I lost it. I lost all control, my anger getting the better of me. "Well, then it's too late!" I almost screamed each word. "Because if it suddenly struck you one morning about a broken promise, doesn't mean things would turn back the way they were two years back! Sorry Logan, but I cannot forget those two years with a snap of your fingers. I'm very satisfied here and I don't want to come back and have the same thing happen to me all over again, when you lose your heart to another Jean complete her Scott. Because–"
"Marie, don't go there," Logan warned me suddenly.
I stopped, my mouth hanging open, more angry now than ever.
"Really? Logan would you stop already? You still think she loved you?"
"Rogue, don't," he said, his eyes on the ground, his jaw clenched. The hands on his sides were turned into fists and he was shaking a bit.
"Oh, now I'm Rogue? Right. The mere mention of her name and I'm Rogue from Marie! Don't you get it Logan? Don't you see what she's done to you? She wasn't worth you!"
"Rogue," I heard Logan growl and when he raised his eyes to look at me, the first thing I noticed was the change in the color of his eyes. Whoa. They were suddenly amber and glowing faintly golden. And then, I noticed his glare. Logan was glaring at me. And it was not one of those 'You-shouldn't-have-done-this-Marie' glares or the 'Now-you're-going-to-be-punished' glares. No, it was one of those murderous glares.
For a second I froze to my spot. Logan was giving me death glares because I spoke about his precious Jean?
I suddenly felt jealous and really angry. So this was how it was.
"That's it!" I said, looking at him. "I've had enough. I'm not going back. I've already seen it all once! You lose your heart over somebody totally unattainable like Jean, then she's all, 'Oh, I'm engaged Logan', and you are, 'But I like you Jean' and then, the usual heroine dilemma - 'Who to choose? Who to choose?'. Enough with drama, Logan. I cannot take it anymore! I cannot take you're your mood swings which change with Jean's choice of the man for the day. I can't see you pinning over somebody who destroyed you. I cannot see you die everyday because you had to kill the monster that Jean was. I cannot see you–"
That's when he struck me. Logan slapped me so hard that I fell back on the couch, clutching my red face, my mouth hanging open.
For a second, I saw the stars revolving around my head. And then, when the initial sharp sting was over, I realized what Logan had done. He hit me.
"You hit me?" I asked, my eyes wide with disbelief. My hand clutched my face as I felt a sort of heat where Logan had hit me.
"Yes, I did," he said, sneering at me. "You deserved it. You have no right to talk about me like that."
Me? I talked about Jean and he was hanging on what I said about him?
I looked up and saw Logan shaking again, his eyes fixed on the ground, his fists clenched at his sides.
Suddenly, he looked up at me, his eyes fixed on mine. This time, he merely looked shocked.
"Your eyes," he suddenly said, his face a mask of worry. Yeah sure. Worry. Ha!
"What?" I asked, confused.
"N-nothing."
I shook my head. It took a few minutes for me to say anything again during which I looked down at the marble floor.
"I can't believe you hit me," I said, standing up now.
Now, Logan was merely looking at my face where had hit me.
"I-I hit you?" He asked, looking stunned.
I scoffed. "I can't believe you hit me because of Jean who couldn't keep herself to one man. Who could never decide who to choose."
"She was decided, Marie. It was Scott. It was always Scott," he said as if in a trance.
"Right. Then answer me truthfully this once. Did Jean ever kiss you?"
That shut up Logan up whatever Logan was about to say next. He licked his lips, looking at me with hard eyes.
"Tell me Logan. I want the truth," I whispered.
Logan stepped towards me and held my shoulders. "You have to know, Marie, that things were not easy for both of us. You just cannot blame Jean for this. It was Phoenix who kissed me, not Jean. It wasn't Jean. And it was nothing more than a mere kiss, Marie! I mean, I stopped things from going further. I knew it wasn't right, it wasn't Jean. I knew Jean wouldn't have wanted it. It was the Phoenix guiding her. She had lost all control."
I almost staggered back, removing his hands from my shoulders, as I realized what he had said. It was as if time slowed down and his words kept repeating themselves in my head.
It was Phoenix who kissed me, not Jean.
It was nothing more than a mere kiss, Marie!
I mean, I stopped things from going further.
It was as if somebody had slapped me.
Very hard.
He did it.
He had kissed Jean. And he stopped things from going further.
And that was just what he was telling. What if things were beyond that? I mean, Jean really did look at Logan. I had seen her. She gave him those looks. What if Logan was lying?
I scoffed, looking up at him. "You mean, things would have gone beyond–"
"But we stopped. I stopped. It wasn't Jean, it was the Phoenix–"
I put up my hand to tell him to shut up and kept looking up at him. I knew I would start crying if I didn't leave. And there was one thing I knew certainly. I wasn't going to cry in front of Logan. I wasn't going to show him that his personal life affected me.
"Keep telling yourself that, Logan. And before I leave, I'd like to remind you that it was you who stopped, not her. The Phoenix only made Jean lose her control over what she wanted and what she didn't. Phoenix was a sort of extended version of Jean, a more impulsive one. I mean, Jean didn't kiss anybody else, right? She didn't kiss Bobby or Hank or anybody else. She kissed you. Which meant that in some part of her brain, she wanted it. Have you ever thought it that way?"
Logan looked at me, like he thought about it for the first time. He bowed his head and looked down on the floor.
With that, I decided that I had had enough. I exited the room, left the building, walking as quickly as I could to the parking lot. Then, I only took my car and hit the road.
I ordered another shot of vodka.
I had already been drinking for half an hour now. I knew that I had drunk beyond my system's control, but hell, I needed to drink.
Logan hit me.
That and the fact that he did have something with Jean kept repeating in my head.
God, maybe I deserved to be hit. I did say a lot of mean things. Jean might have been many things but she wasn't bad. Hell, she sacrificed her life for us at the Alkali Lake, not even thinking twice. And it was true that Phoenix was uncontrollable. Maybe she wouldn't have kissed Logan if it wasn't for Phoenix.
I don't know. I mean, what I told Logan was also the truth. If Jean didn't want it, why did Phoenix do it? I didn't see the Phoenix kissing Professor Xavier for Lord's sake!
But then, there were a lot of things that Phoenix did that Jean wouldn't have done in a hundred lifetimes. She killed people and Jean… she sacrificed her own.
Hell, I didn't know what to believe and what not to believe anymore. My head hurt and yet, I gulped down my drink in one go.
I felt my eyes growing weary. I needed to go home. I mean, I couldn't drive like that. I was sure to hit someone.
Maybe I should call Remy. I took my phone out. I couldn't even look straight, so that it took me full two minutes to find his number. Just as I began to dial it though, I heard a low growl.
"Not that Cajun, again. What has happened to your choice, Marie?"
Logan dropped down on the seat next to mine.
"Get lost," I muttered in a slurring voice, trying to find the dial button.
Suddenly, the phone was wrenched away from my hand.
"Hey!" I complained. Logan merely looked at me grimly.
"I'm sorry, darlin'." He said, touching my cheek, where he had hit me. I froze for a moment at his touch, as he caressed my cheek. "Sorry that I hit you. But hell, you kind of deserved it. You have a bitter mouth, Marie."
"Didn't you hear me?" I said, slapping his hand away. "Get the hell lost!"
God, I couldn't even see his face. I dropped my head on the counter and almost dozed off for a second.
"Get up, Marie. I'm takin' you home."
"What?" I said, suddenly sitting up.
"You're goin' home."
I sat up straight, "Don't you get it?" I shouted at him. "I'm not a Marie! And I'm not doing as you tell me to do!"
I ordered another drink, but Logan barked at the bartender, paid him and told him to get lost.
The bartender scowled at Logan. "Must be difficult with a father like him," he whispered to me.
I did a double take. "Shut up," I snapped. "He's not my father."
With that said, I went back at my attempt to sleep because I really couldn't do anything else.
Logan chuckled as the bartender said, "But she's got your traits."
"You are not getting rid of me so easily, Marie. Everybody back home is expecting me to bring you back. We'll go back toge–"
"Told you!" I shouted at him. "I'm not going back. Plus, nobody wants me. Not that kid I hurt anyway. I'm better off here. Don't you see?"
"How many times do I have to tell you the same thing? It was the kid's fault, not yours."
"And how many times do I have to tell you that no matter the way you look at it, the kid was hurt because of me. It doesn't change anything!"
Arguing was exhausting. I felt like I was going to drop any time now.
"Get up, Marie," Logan said, standing up beside me.
"No!" I replied, my head nestled in my arms.
"Up!" He commanded from somewhere above me.
"No," I said again, my voice muffled this time. I was tired and I wanted to sleep. Damn him. "Leave me alone."
Suddenly, I was wrenched up from my stool and I was standing straight, facing Logan, with his face inches away from mine. My eyes widened as I looked down at him.
God, Logan was hot.
My eyes dropped down to his lips and I realized he was saying something. I couldn't really get what he was saying but it was a lot of I'm really disappointed in you's.
Hell, I really was drunk. He was lecturing me and I was thinking how hot he was. Even when he rejected me today the way he did.
Momentarily, my eyes focused beyond Logan, behind his left arm.
I froze all over again, the third time today. I gasped looking at her.
Surely, I was day-dreaming?
No, it was night. And I was drunk. Yes, I was definitely drunk. And that's why I was seeing her.
Because in no way could Jean be back.
"Do you get it?" Logan asked me, shaking me this time.
Her image didn't melt away even after several blinks. "Logan," I whispered, trying to stay awake.
"You are really drunk," Logan said, jerking my shoulder. "I should get you back to your apartment."
"Jean," I whispered.
I still gaped at the figure of Jean beyond the glass doors of the bar, looking at the smiling face.
"What?" Logan caught up, finally looking at her. He turned around and that's when I knew I wasn't day-dreaming. That's when I knew it wasn't that I was seeing her because I was drunk or something. I knew that he saw her too, because just like me, he gasped.
"It's her," he said, stalling. He left me completely, so that I collapsed into my stool again. I looked up, offended.
Angrily, I tried getting up, but my legs gave away and fell right on the floor. That's when Logan finally looked at me. He pulled me up quickly, as Jean's figure disappeared from the door.
"It's her," Logan repeated. "Where is she going? I have to go after her," Logan said, pulling me with him. "Run, Marie, come on!"
"But she's dead," I whispered again, feeling the familiar fear of losing Logan to Jean. God, it was happening all over again. "You killed her, Logan. Her grave is in the Mansion. It can't be her."
"But it's obviously her!" Logan countered. "Can't you see? Faster, Marie!"
"I can't go any faster!" I said, tripping over something for the third time now, as Logan pulled me to the front door. "Is it her smell, Logan?"
"She's too far away! Beyond the glass doors! I can't smell her, Marie." Then, he looked at me. "Look, why don't you wait here?" he said, shoving me into a chair near the door. "I'll be right back."
"Logan?" I said, disbelieving. He was leaving me alone? Like this? All drunk?
"Call Remy and wait for him," he said, returning me my phone. "Don't move. I'll be back in a second, okay?"
"Logan–" I said, clutching my phone tightly, as he moved away. I suddenly felt sick and close to throwing up.
"I'll be back in a moment," he said. "Wait for me or Remy. Nobody else. Okay?"
"Logan–" I muttered, suddenly feeling blackness etching around the corner of my vision.
But Logan was already gone.
And that's when I lost my consciousness.
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