Thanks again for the reviews :) Here's a longer chapter for ya'll :)
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- Beth
"The last of it's in the bedroom." Haley pointed the movers in the right direction and made her way back into the living room.
"Haley are you sure you want to get rid of all of it?"
"Brooke, by keeping it here I'm just reminded everyday of him."
Brooke got up and moved over to her friend, "Haley look I know your hurt about…well everything but that doesn't take away all of the good times you had." She wrapped her arm around Haley's shoulder, "You don't have to act like you don't miss him."
Haley started folding a few of Chris' t-shirts and putting them into a box, "I'm not acting like anything Brooke…he's gone, nothing I do changes that."
"Haley…"
"No maybe Nathan's right, maybe I can't move on until I know the last time our marriage meant something."
"Wait..Nathan? As in Nathan Scott, as in the husband of Rachel. Rachel the one that was screw-" Brooke stopped, "I mean-"
"No you can say it, the one that was screwing Chris."
"What are you doing even talking to him?"
"Why not? Out of everyone he's the only one that understands what I'm going through."
"Haley I'm not telling you what to do, but this can't be healthy. You both need time to grieve.."
Haley closed the box and placed it on the floor by the door, "I am grieving Brooke. Every day. Everyday I walk in that door and do nothing BUT grieve. I walk into that bedroom and remember Chris walking through the door after the day at the office, remember that he probably had Rachel's stench all over him is why he always jumped in the shower." Haley chuckled, "For awhile I just thought I had a very hygienic husband…"
"Hal-"
"No Brooke. I know you're trying to help but you don't get it. You don't know what it's like to know your marriage, your life has been a lie."
"Not everything was a lie Haley, Chris loved you."
Haley snickered, "Ya, the last thing my husband was doing before he died was taking a trip to paradise with his mistress, I feel really loved."
One of the movers walked into the living room, "Mam' are we taking the bed too?"
Haley moved the loose curls from her eyes, "Yes, the bed goes."
"Haley…" Brooke offered trying to be supportive.
"It goes Brooke." Haley moved over to the kitchen starting to pack the glasses and dishware that filled the cupboards.
"What are you just getting rid of everything Chris ever touched!?"
"That's the plan."
"This is ridiculous Haley…"
A glass fell from Haley's hand and shattered, "NO!" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, bending down to collect the broken fragments, "No Brooke, just stop! You don't know…" She began to cry, "You don't know what it's like. I can't…I can't have these things here knowing she could have been here. I can't have these things here knowing he probably touched them after being with her, I can't have them here without hating him. I don't want to hate him Brooke."
Brooke knelt down to be level with her friend, she reached out and placed her hand over Haley's, "Ok.." She pulled her into a hug, "It's ok."
*********************
Nathan poured himself a cup of coffee, "No I appreciate it Coach…Ya I'll be ready…a week from Friday…I'll be there, Thanks." He hung up his new cell phone and placed it on the counter.
"So you're going back on the road?" Lucas walked in from the living room.
"Yea…I sure as hell can't stay around here much longer."
"Look little brother, you can't just run away from this…"
"Put yourself in my shoes Luke!" Nathan's voice rose, "Your wife, Peyton…she dies in a plane crash and you later find out it's because she was going to screw someone else."
Lucas fell silent.
"Exactly. It's hard to miss a woman that could do that to you."
"I know you miss her Nate."
"Don't." Nathan eyed his brother.
"So you loved your wife! That's not a crime Nathan!"
"Well infidelity is!" He stopped and lowered his voice, "Or at least it should be…just never mind alright."
Lucas moved closer to his brother, "Look all I'm trying to say is that I'm here for you, Peyton's here for you…just remember that ok?"
"Ya."
"Alright" Lucas let out a sigh, "I have to get back to the station."
Lucas began to walk towards the door, "Hey Luke, do you think you can find an address for me?"
*********************
Haley sat on the floor of her near empty apartment. There were no more pictures hanging from the wall, law books no longer filled the shelves. She even got rid of the television, remembering the day they got it…
"It's too big!" Haley gasped.
"Bull…it's perfect Haley…besides now you can watch those stupid reality shows you like in high def."
"Whatever, it's not reality SHOWS its reality SHOW…and besides Rock of Love isn't stupid."
He draped his arm around her in the middle of the electronics store, "I can see it now…picture/picture…me watching the Playboy channel…you watching Brett Michaels…it's perfect."
She playfully slapped him, "You're gross…" she let out a defeated breath, "Alright but I'm so not helping you carry it to the car."
Haley leaned up against the naked wall behind her, lights from the city around her illuminating the apartment. In that moment she thought of Nathan, she wasn't sure the reason but it brought a smile to her face. Through everything it was nice to know she wasn't alone in how she felt. She badly about how she treated Brooke earlier, but it was like she said. Brooke didn't understand. The only one that could was Nathan.
She picked up the small piece of paper in her hand, the piece of paper he had given her on their first meeting. The piece of paper that held his number. Why she felt the need to call him, she wasn't sure but she knew she needed to talk to him.
After the kiss they hadn't spoken, not that she expected him to call. He was grieving for a dead wife…she was grieving for a dead husband…the kiss was a mistake. It had to have been. She picked up the phone and dialed the first few numbers and stopped, "What am I doing?" She hit the end button and placed the phone back beside her.
As if on cue the phone rang, "Hello?"
"I found the apartment…"
**************************
About 20 minutes later, the taxi pulled up to the address Nathan had given her. She found him standing by the front door of the building, "I was starting to think you weren't going to show."
"Sorry…" She slowly walked up to him, "So…this is it?"
He looked up, "Yup…"
"How'd you find it?"
"It pays having a brother on the New York Police Department."
"You ready for this?"
"I think we're both about as ready as we'll ever be."
They walked off the elevator and up to the appropriate apartment. Nathan turned the key and the door slowly opened. There wasn't much to it. Small kitchen, small living room…small bedroom. There was no decoration, no signs of the people that had used it.
"It's not what I imagined…" Haley stated as she slowly walked around the dull apartment, "I expected…"
"I know."
Nathan began looking through the drawers and closets searching for anything and everything. Just something that told him Rachel had been there.
"Nathan…"
He turned and saw Haley sitting at the edge of the bed starring at the blinking answering machine, "Play it."
"Na-"
"Play it!" He quickly walked over and hit the play button.
"Hey, I'm running a little late…I'm still at home…I'll just meet you at the airport."
Haley's hands rushed to her face, hearing his voice…he had been home…he had been at THEIR home.
The recording ended and the next began…
"It's me I'm sorry I couldn't get away last weekend…I can't wait until Miami, I need to see you."
Nathan quickly ripped the cord leading to the machine out of the wall and through it across the room. The sound of his wife's voice fueling his anger.
"Nathan stop"
"This is bullshit!" He ran his hands through his hair and sat next to her on the bed, "If she wanted out, why didn't she just tell me?"
"I don't know…" Haley responded quietly.
Nathan stood back up, "I ca-I can't be here…" Nathan quickly made his way to the door and out of Haley's site. She took a deep breath and put her head in her hands.
"Are you coming?"
She looked back up and saw Nathan standing in the doorway. She didn't understand why but she felt relief knowing he wasn't leaving her behind.
*********************************************
"Thanks, but you really didn't have to walk me home." Haley said as she opened her apartment door, "Ah- you can come in for a minute if you'd like."
Nathan silently agreed and followed her in. He looked around noticing the drastic change from the last time he had been there, "I like what you've done with the place." He joked.
Haley slightly laughed, "Yah, I just…I just need to start over."
"I can understand that."
"I'd offer you a seat but…" She threw her hands in the air and looked around, "all I can really offer is the floor."
He smiled, "The floor will do just fine."
Nathan took a seat on the hardwood floor and awaited Haley's return from the kitchen.
"Well looks like all I have is wine and tequila." She laughed.
They both looked at the wine bottle, "Tequila it is." The laughed in unison.
The both downed a shot and sighed, "So did you think this was what your life would come to at 23?" Nathan asked.
Haley laughed, "Oh yea…widowed at 23 to a man who was cheating on me with an NBA star's wife…I mean the romance novel writes itself."
"Yea…I can already see the made for TV movie…" He joked. They both laughed together before the reality of the situation crept back in.
"Now why is it, every time I'm around you…I drink? Now Haley James never drinks…" She put her hands to her mouth, "Did I just talk about myself in the third person?"
Nathan laughed, "Yes."
"I guess it's true what they say, you live with someone for too long you start acting like 'em."
"How did you and Chris meet?"
Haley looked down and poured herself another shot, "I don't really think we need to ah talk about that."
"Alright so tell me the last time you were happy. I mean stupid, careless happy…"
Haley's eyebrow lifted, "Stupid, careless happy? Alright..um lets see probably my first gig down at Frankie's, this club I play at down the street…"
"Really? I may have to check that out sometime.."
"Yea…Friday's and Saturday's I'll be there" She smiled, "But my first performance I was so nervous…I mean throw up, hide under a table nervous and Chris came in and told me to hum something. Anything, just a song that would put me in a calm place. So when I was little my dad always used to sing a song from Les Miserable's…and it totally worked, I stopped freaking out went out and did my thang."
Nathan almost spit out the liquid in her mouth, "Did your thang?" He laughed.
She playfully hit him, "Shut up!" She started a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
Nathan stopped and just watched her, he hadn't heard her laugh like that before. A laugh that filled the near empty apartment and he couldn't help but smile.
Haley put her hands to her face as she let out a small snort, "Oh god!" She said between the laughing fit.
"Did you just snort!?" Nathan laughed with her.
"No…I did nothing of the kind."
He continued to smile, "It was cute."
Her laughter subsided and she stared into the deep ocean eyes of the man that might get her through the hardest time in her life, "I needed this…"
He reached out and took her hand, "Me too."
Nothing was said for a moment as he slowly pulled her to him. His lips softly brushed against hers, this kiss was different from before. This one was tender and gentle and just what she needed. Her body moved closer to his as he leaned back against the wall. His kiss deepened and his fingers got lost in the loose curls of blonde hair.
Her hands were pressed against his face, the smell of his cologne consuming her. It was something that felt natural, something that felt right. He placed his hand on the small of her back and lowered her to the floor. His tall frame covered her but their lips never parted.
He began unbuttoning the buttons to her blouse, never had he needed someone more.
"Wait…" She finally said, breathless.
"What?" His voice filled with lust and wonderment, searching her face for an answer.
She cupped his face and closed her eyes, "I can't do this."
"Hal-"
She sat up buttoning her shirt, "It's too soon, we can't." She ran her hand through her hair.
He sat there trying to catch his breath, "Yah…"
She stood, "I think you should-"
"Go?" He interjected, "I figured that was coming."
"Nathan…"
"Haley," Nathan walked towards her, "I'm not mad…I understand." He bent down and kissed her again, "It's not the time, look…I'll call you."
Haley said nothing just shook her head in agreement and watched him walk out, she closed the door behind him and lent up against it, "What the hell is going on?"