An author sat down to write,
But then got a dreadful fright.
People said 'Hey listen dude'
If you don't want to be sued'
Then you should state in a clear and legal manner that Fairly Oddparents and all related names and trademarks do not belong to you, and that they are the property of Nickelodeon and it's parent company Viacom and the intellectual property of Butch Hartman, and then everything will be alright!'
3. One Simple Rule For Dating My Adult Daughter
Juandissimo stepped out of the shower, swishing his towel around and singing loudly. He loved the acoustics in Blonda's bathrooms; they made his voice sound even sexier than usual. He waved his towel around, pretending he was a matador as he hummed what he thought what was an appropriate matadorial tune. His fun was interrupted by when he heard a voice behind him say, "Hello Magnifico."
Juandissimo span around with an expression of terror. In front of him floated Big Daddy, a smile on his face and his eyes narrowed.
Juandissimo yelped and quickly wrapped the towel around himself.
"Big Daddy sir, I was not expecting you to be there."
"No, you wouldn't. I was just passing and thought I'd stop by so we could have a little chat. We have some things to discuss."
"Do…do we?" asked Juandissimo nervously.
"Yes," said Big Daddy. "We do." He moved to float in front of a picture on the wall and seemed to be studying it. "Do you know why I let Cosmo live after I found out Wanda was pregnant?" he asked conversationally.
Juandissimo gulped and shook his head.
"Because he was her husband. And, as much as I hate to say it, it was his right as her husband to get her pregnant. Do you know what I mean?"
Juandissimo nodded again, unable to speak.
"You, on the other hand Juandissimo, do not have that protection. You aren't Blonda's husband. It was never your right to do this to her."
Juandissimo began to tremble a little and, feeling extremely vulnerable, glanced to where he had left his wand lying on the bathroom countertop. Panicked, he saw it had gone.
"But you see Juandissimo," said Big Daddy, twirling Juandissimo's wand between his fingers. "I'm a reasonable man. I believe in giving people chances. Which is why I'm giving you the chance to marry Blonda before the baby is born. If you don't, Magnifico, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to hurt you as much as you hurt my little girl. Are we clear on that?"
Juandissimo nodded, and Big Daddy threw him his wand.
"Good boy. Oh, and if Blonda asks, this conversation never happened."
Juandissimo nodded once more, and Big Daddy left with a satisfied smirk on his face.
---
"Cosmo, do you hear that?"
Cosmo, lying next to Wanda, listened intently for a few moments. "Uhm, I can't hear anything."
"Exactly!" said Wanda happily. "No Alska crying!"
"Oh yeah!" said Cosmo, a grin spreading over his face. "Maybe she's learnt how to sle…"
"Shhh!" hissed Wanda, slapping a hand over Cosmo's mouth. "Don't jinx it!"
"But…"
"Just shut up and kiss me."
Without another word of protest, Cosmo quickly obliged. When was the last time he'd kissed her like this? Cosmo didn't remember, and right now he didn't care. All he knew was that it ended way too soon as a cry came from Allie's room. They pulled apart and sighed.
"I'll go," volunteered Cosmo woefully. He floated out of bed and out into Allie's room. "Couldn't you have waited just a little bit?" he asked his daughter, who immediately quietened at being picked up.
"Alska still giving you two trouble is she?" asked a voice behind him. Cosmo turned around and saw Big Daddy floating in the doorway.
"Yeah," answered Cosmo with a shrug and a sigh. "Hey, where did you go today?"
"I just had some business to do," answered Big Daddy as he floated over. "How's my favourite grandkid tonight?" he said with a smile, lovingly tickling Alska.
"You'll have another grandkid soon you know," said Cosmo. Big Daddy hissed softly.
"Don't remind me."
Cosmo was silent for a little while, watching Big Daddy tickle Allie.
"Why don't you like Juandissimo?" he asked suddenly.
Big Daddy looked surprised for a moment, before smiling. "I thought you would have understood, being a father yourself now." Seeing Cosmo's blank look, Big Daddy sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay Cosmo. Just imagine Alska's all grown up and she's dating. Now just imagine she's dating someone you know isn't nearly good enough for her. Then imagine that low-life violates your little girl." Big Daddy saw the growing look of disgust and horror on Juandissimo's face as he held Alska a little tighter. "That's exactly what Juandissimo did, and that's why I don't like him."
"Oh," said Cosmo. "I get it." He thought for a moment before realising something. "That's why you don't like me isn't it?" he asked sadly. "Because you think I'm not good enough for Wanda."
"Yes," said Big Daddy thoughtfully. "You aren't good enough for Wanda. But you love her Cosmo, and you married her. That counts for something, don't you think?"
"Yeah," said Cosmo, cheering up. "Yeah, it does!"
"Here, I'll take Alska," said Big Daddy. "You get back to bed."
"But…" said Cosmo, as Big Daddy took Alska from his arms. He loved being with Alska and holding her at night. But then again, there was Wanda waiting for him in the next room…
"Goodnight Allie," whispered Cosmo, kissing her on the forehead. He said goodnight to Big Daddy and then flew back to his and Wanda's room.
"Hey Wanda, Big Daddy's looking after Alska, which means we can…Wanda?"
Looking closely, Cosmo could see Wanda had fallen asleep exactly where he'd left her. Sighing, he got back into bed next to her, and was soon fast asleep himself.