Disclaimer: Same one as in Chapter 1
Chapter 4
After Blaine had let out some steam in the weight room, everything seemed to go back to normal. Or at least as normal as it could be with Blaine not speaking or eating in the cafeteria with his friends. Sam knew that he should try to help Blaine through what happened between Blaine and Kurt, but he figured it wasn't his place to interfere with his friend's personal life unless Blaine came to him for help. Blaine continued to not speak and not eat during lunch for about two or three weeks, and then one day it all came to a head. It was Friday and Sam had decided that he had seen enough of Blaine hurting himself and hurting others around by not talking to them, and shoving them away; so Sam made it his mission to go talk to Blaine and help him in any way he could. The first place Sam went to go look for Blaine during lunch was at his locker, after all; Blaine had to have been getting his books for class, but when Sam arrived at Blaine's locker; he saw that Blaine wasn't there. So Sam decided to try going to see if Blaine was talking to one of the other Glee members. The first person he tried talking to was Tina, so he went to the girl's locker and found her talking with her boyfriend.
"Hey Tina, have you seen Blaine anywhere?" He asked her.
Tina had been wondering the same thing as to where Blaine was because she also hadn't seen Blaine today.
"No, sorry Sam, I have been wondering where Blaine is today as well, but I couldn't seem to find him at his locker, or in his car. I'm a little concerned as to where he is, and I'm guessing that you don't know where he is either?" Tina replied with a hint of worriedness in her voice.
Sam started to feel uneasy as to why neither he nor Tina have been able to find Blaine this morning. Just then Rachel approached her three friends with a worried expression on her face.
"Hi you guys, do any of you know where Blaine is. I've been looking all over for him, but I can't find him anywhere. I'm starting to worry for him." The brunette explained to the three of them with concern in her voice.
When Rachel mentioned that she couldn't find Blaine anywhere this morning; Sam started to feel like his stomach was starting to tie itself in a knot. He was starting to really worry about Blaine and wished that somebody would find Blaine soon, or more preferably right now.
"Where did you look for him Rachel?" Sam asked with a hint of worry laced in his voice.
"Well I looked for him practically everywhere…his locker, his car, the choir room, even Ms. Pillsbury's office. I couldn't find him anywhere." Rachel answered him.
At this point; Mike spoke up mentioning about how he wasn't even in the weight room or the locker room.
"I couldn't even find him in the locker room or weight room, so he's got to be in the auditorium, or maybe he's in the cafeteria." Mike suggested.
"Yeah…that's true Mike…but he usually spends any free time he has in the auditorium, and if he isn't in the auditorium…then where the hell could he be?" Sam said with panic starting to rise in his voice.
Rachel turned to look at Sam and reached out to comfort him.
"Don't worry Sam…we'll find him, I mean he's got to be in the school somewhere." Rachel said in an attempt to reassure both Sam and herself that Blaine was alright.
"Well I just can't stand here and not look for him, I have to go find him…I'll text you guys later okay?" Sam said as he turned to walk to the auditorium and see if Blaine was in there.
"Okay…just please make sure Blaine is okay." Rachel called back to Sam as he walked away from them.
Elsewhere in the April Rhodes Auditorium
Blaine had been trying to hold all of his hurt that he still was feeling from what Kurt did to him, but Blaine couldn't do it anymore and just had to escape from it. He knew what he had to do, he had no choice…so he made the decision this morning to end all of his suffering today right here in the auditorium.
(Cry by Kelly Clarkson)
(Performed by Blaine Anderson)
Blaine remembers the song he sang to Kurt when he found about Kurt cheating on him with Chandler, and the talk the both of them had the following week.
-Flashback-
"Kurt I can't just forget this! You hurt me emotionally and you just ask me to forget about it?!" Blaine yelled at his boyfriend.
"Blaine, I am just saying that this is no big deal." Kurt replied calmly.
"No big deal?! You CHEATED on me Kurt!" Blaine exclaimed clearly hurt that Kurt thought what he did was no big deal.
"Oh for crying out loud…I feel like I have taken crazy pills! I didn't cheat on you!" Kurt said clearly exasperated with the whole situation.
"Yes, yes you did! You did cheat on me!" Blaine practically all but shouted at Kurt.
"You know what Blaine, I can't handle this…if you can't forget about just one small mess up, then we aren't good together." Kurt stated firmly.
Blaine just stood still with his mouth wide open unable to believe that this was what he was hearing.
"Y-you can't be serious." Blaine said with shock and hurt evident in his face.
Kurt looked Blaine dead in the eye and Blaine knew that Kurt wasn't joking, and was completely serious.
"Kurt…I-I can't…I just can't forget something like this happening to me. I thought you would never do this to me." Blaine said with tears threatening to start coming forth from his eyes.
"Then I guess we both know what happens next don't we." Kurt said rather than questioned.
"Kurt…please don't do this to me…" Blaine begged barely able to stop the tears from spilling forth.
"I'm sorry Blaine, but I have no other choice." Kurt stated firmly, and then turned and left Blaine's bedroom and left Blaine feeling like his heart was just stabbed and let the tears fall forth freely.
-End of Flashback-
Blaine let his own tears at this point start to fall forth and slide down his cheeks onto the cold auditorium stage.
If anyone asks
I'll tell them we both just moved on
Blaine remembers the day after the break up; everybody at the school seemed to have somehow heard about him and Kurt no longer being together. Every night after Blaine would come home from school; he would not eat anything, head straight to bed; but he would never fall asleep, Blaine would just let an endless flood of tears come pouring forth and wouldn't even try to stop them. He remembers how every time he saw Kurt, Blaine would feel his heart be torn into even more pieces, and how he felt so cold and empty without Kurt.
When people all stare
I'll pretend that I don't hear them talk
Whenever I see you, I'll swallow my pride and bite my tongue
Pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong
Blaine could feel even now; his heart breaking and didn't want to continue living with this pain, this loneliness, this emptiness, this feeling of worthlessness in his heart.
Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry, cry
Blaine remembered the bullies who nearly punched his lights out after the Sadie Hawkins dance at his old school before he went to Dalton. He wished that they really had beaten him to death so that Blaine would have never met Kurt, never would have heard about the cheating Kurt did with Chandler, never felt this sense of suffering.
If anyone asks
I'll tell them we just grew apart
Yet what do I care
If they believe me or not
Whenever I feel your memory is breaking my heart
I'll pretend I'm okay with it all
Act like there's nothing wrong
Blaine couldn't stand this sensation of depression and sadness anymore and under the weight of all his emotional hurt; he fell to his knees. He couldn't take the pain anymore.
Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry, cry
Blaine was just letting all his emotions show now. His hurt, his pain, everything was coming forth, and it was too much for Blaine to handle alone. He shouldn't of had to bear this burden, he couldn't bear it. Blaine wanted it to all just go away.
I'm talking in circles
I'm lying, they know it
Why won't this just all go away?
Blaine dug inside his pants pocket, and felt around for what he had brought with him for this very moment. He pulled out the pocket knife, and slowly stood up. Time seemed to start to slow down, Blaine tried to get up from his knees, but he couldn't do it…he couldn't get up, it didn't matter if he was standing or kneeling anyway…everything would be over soon.
Is it over yet?
Can I open my eyes?
Is this as hard as it gets?
Is this what it feels like to really cry, cry, cry
Blaine positioned the pocket knife right in front of where his heart was. "This is it…this is the end…the end of all my pain…the end of my life. Please forgive me everyone…this is for the best." And with the final thought; Blaine plunged the blade into himself. He felt the blade pierce his skin and saw the deep red color of his blood ooze forth from the wound, as he fell forward; Blaine could of swore that he saw someone opening the auditorium doors, and saw who figure was. As he felt a sense of numbness come over his body; Blaine heard only one word.
"Blaine!" Sam screamed in terror at the sight before his eyes.
As Blaine saw Sam starting to run towards him; Blaine's eyes slowly shut and the final picture he saw before darkness enveloped him was Sam's face. And with the knowledge that he would escape the pain Kurt had caused him; and would get to see his friend before he died; Blaine let darkness envelope him and take him away.
A/N: Let me know what you guys think of this chapter and the story so far, please don't be afraid to PM me or Review the story and tell me what you liked and didn't like and what you will want to see more of and less of, and anything else. I appreciate feedback. Thank you for reading this.