A/N: Thanks for all the reviews so far.

Sithtar - I actually just finished watching Firefly but I wrote that scene before I saw it ... It was just briefly after that that River started giving me ideas and helping me write 'crazy Snape'. The idea for the book actually came from the half-blood prince, because he always wrote in his text books to fix the formulas. I nearly died laughing when I saw River fixing the bible because of that ... my boyfriend thought I was nuts ... I am using her to help me write him now but I will be trying to not make him River ... if that made sense ... please do not try to connect the two as it will take away from the story ... lol thanks for noticing the reference though ... lol House points to anyone who could find the Nightcrawler reference in the last chapter xD

Lest we Forget

Chapter 4: I'm sorry ...

Severus crawled into bed and curled up under the blanket.

"Will you be alright on your own tonight?" Sirius asked.

"Please stay." Severus said quietly. Sirius nodded and crawled into bed next to him. Sirius turned the oil lamp off and pulled the covers over him.

It was quiet for a while before Severus broke the silence. "How come you don't want me to touch you?"

Sirius sighed and turned onto his back. "It wouldn't be right of me Severus." He said. "I'd be taking advantage of you."

"You didn't say you didn't want me to though. And you wouldn't be taking advantage of me." Sirius felt Severus shift next to him. "I'm not drunk, and I know fully well what I'm offering. I wouldn't willingly do something like this if I didn't want to." Sirius closed his eyes as Severus moved his hand over his slowly swelling shaft through his pants.

"Severus, stop." He said.

"Why?" Severus asked. "I know you're enjoying it." He said slipping his hand under the fabric and gripping his now hard cock. "I'm good at it."

"Stop." Sirius said again, but the plea was half hearted. Severus pulled him out of his pajama pants making Sirius groan.

"Severus, if you don't stop, I won't be able to." Sirius said trying to shift away from him. He nearly jumped when he felt Snape's tongue run along the underside of his cock. "Severus!" He cried. Whether it was another plea for him to stop, or a plea not to stop, neither knew.

Sirius stopped fighting as Severus took his entire shaft into his mouth, which in Sirius' opinion was no small fear as Sirius was rather large.

"Severus." Sirius moaned, refraining from thrusting in farther. Severus was right. He was good at this. And it had been a long time since anyone other than his own hand had touched him. He felt his balls tighten when Severus cupped them in his free hand as he fucked Sirius' cock with his mouth.

"Fuck Severus ..." Why did he like saying his name so much? Why was it turning him on more? "That feel good." Severus pulled back and licked his lips.

"Still want me to stop?" Severus asked.

"No." Sirius said, threading his fingers through Snape's hair and leading him back to his cock. "I'm so close."

Severus moved his tongue against him before pulling back a moment to lick the slit. He twirled his tongue around the head before taking him back into his mouth again.

"Pull back, I'm cumming." Sirius said, but Severus didn't listen. Severus pumped him a few more times with his mouth before he heard Sirius moan, his release spilling into his mouth.

Severus smirked as he swallowed the rather large load, using his tongue to clean off the little bit that had dripped onto Sirius' stomach.

Sirius lay on his back, his breath coming heavier than usual as he came down from his post orgasm high.

"You didn't need to do that." He said, staring at the dark ceiling. a

"I wanted to." Severus said cuddling up next to him. He could feel Severus' hard on against his hip.

"Did you enjoy that?" Sirius asked confused.

"I did." He said.

"Do you want me to ... um ..." He asked not knowing how to phrase his question.

"No, I'm okay."

"I will if you want." He said.

"I'm okay. It will go away." He said. "It always does."

"Severus, when was the last time you ... you know ..."

"Came?" Severus asked. "I don't know. I don't remember." Severus said yawning. "A long time ago I'd guess." Severus curled up against Sirius and drifted off to sleep, leaving Sirius wide awake to think.

When Sirius woke it was still dark in the room. He yawned and turned over reaching a hand out to Severus. He jerked awake when he met empty sheet.

"Severus?" He asked sitting up. He looked around the dark room and grabbed his wand off the dresser. He jumped off the bed and was able to take two steps before the next thing he knew he was face first on the ground. He groaned as he pulled himself painfully into a sitting position.

"Lumos." He said lighting the tip of his wand, illuminating the room with light. He saw Severus huddled in the corner, his eyes wide with fear as he stared at Sirius.

Sirius turned on the oil lamp. "Nox." He said putting out his wand. He moved to Severus and put his hand on his arm.

"Severus, are you alright?" Sirius asked. Severus didn't say anything. "Severus? Speak to me."

"I couldn't sleep." Severus said. "The voices came back. They said I should be here. They say I'm not good enough." Sirius closed his eyes a moment before looking at him.

"The voices aren't real Severus."

"They are to me." Severus said. "I don't belong here. Not good enough." He said starting to claw at his arms again. "I'm a bad man ... bad man ..."

"No you're not Severus." Sirius said trying to stop him from clawing. "Severus you're a good man." Severus shook his head and screamed trying to pull away from Sirius. Sirius was at a loss as to what to do as Severus thrashed against his attempts to calm him down. Severus' screaming over powered his attempts to speak to him.

"Kreature!" Sirius yelled, somehow making his voices carry over Severus' this time. Kreature appeared in the room." Kreature understood him despite Severus' tantrum and disappeared from the room.

Sirius sat with Albus in the kitchen as Madam Pomfrey tended to Severus.

"Do you know what had set him off?" Albus asked. Sirius shook his head.

"No. We were sleeping and he was fine. Next thing I know, he's not in the bed. I kind of panicked and jumped off the bed. I tripped over him and when I turned on the light he seemed scared but nothing that he hasn't been like before. I tried comforting him like I usually but ... he started throwing a tantrum. I didn't know what to do so I called you two."

"What about in the day? Nothing out of the ordinary."

Sirius was about to deny that anything happened when realization hit like a ton of bricks. Sirius closed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. "Oh my god." Sirius muttered. "I'm so sorry Albus. This is all my fault."

"What happened Sirius?"

"I - I should have stopped him. I shouldn't have given in." Sirius stood upa nd started pacing the kitchen. "I shouldn't have-"

"Sirius. What happened?" Albus asked once again.

"I stopped him the first night but ... last night he wouldn't listen." He opened his mouth to speak again but he was interrupted by Madam Pomfrey coming into the kitchen.

"He's still not speaking." Madam Pomfrey said.

"He speaks to me." Sirius said.

"He's resting now. I gave him a bit of Dreamless Sleep potion. I've also run a full physical exam on him." Pomfrey looked at Sirius with the most stern angry look either man had seen her give anyone. "Is there anything you want to tell us?"

Sirius opened his mouth to speak a few times, trying to form words to make sentences.

"I'm sorry." Was all he managed to squeak out.

"As well you should be." She turned to Albus. "I found a rather large trace of semen in Severus' stomach. No more than a few hours old." Sirius closed his eyes and bowed his head in shame.

"Sirius, did you ..." Albus was to shocked to even finish the sentence. Sirius sighed and told them both what had happened the night before and last night. How Severus had thought that was what he wanted, but Sirius had stopped him. How last night Severus had come on a bit stronger and how he tried to stop him but ... he had given in.

"Why were you sleeping with him int he first place?" Pomfrey asked.

"The firest night had had clawed at himself so badly I almost had to call you. I healed him up myself but I didn't want it to happen again so the next night I stayed with him. It was just going to be for the one night but last night he asked me not to leave him alone in the dark. I couldn't say no to him. I know what it's like being alone after leaving Azkaban. It's not pleasant."

Albus sighed. "You know how serious this is don't you Sirius?" He asked.

"I know, I'm sorry." He said.

"No Sirius, I'm sorry." Albus said. "We'll have to transfer Severus to St. Mungos now. And you may be charged with rape, whether it was Severus' doing or not. You're fully aware he's not in his right mind, and you didn't stop him."

Sirius tried to form the words 'I tried' but knew that would be a lie. The only words he could form again were "I'm sorry.

((TBC - Sorry chapters short ... the chapters aren't going to be coming this fast in future ... I write these at work on paper and type it out at home ... this is all the stuff I have writen out so far, other than half chapter 5, so we'll see how fast we get this writen. Lol PLEAE R&R))