Disclaimer: I do not own Artemis Fowl. If I did, I would not be here now would I.
P.S: This is probably a little OOC depending on how you view it. But I'm sure you guys will be find with it. Most of it is for comedic reasons anyway.
~~Enjoy~~
Chapter 4: Caught
The sun finally descended and the crescent moon came up; a signal for Jamie that it was time to go to bed. Jamie immediately ran away as soon as Faith got done putting on his pajamas. The child knew he was going to get caught, but it was still fun having his big sister chase him around the apartment. His new big brother, Artemis, chuckled in amusement while lounging on the couch and watched their funny nightly antics.
Jamie ran all the way to his sister's room, jumped in her bed, and hid under the covers. Faith ran into her room, she chuckled when she saw a big bump underneath the dark blue, Japan imported satin bedspread (courtesy of Artemis). She tipped toed toward the bed and jumped on it. The small boy bounced a couple of times and squealed in delight. The dark haired girl yanked the covers off he four-year-old boy and embraced him so he couldn't get away. Jamie burst into a squeal of laughter as his sister tickled him.
"It is time to go to bed," Faith signed to him when his giggling ceased, "You have school tomorrow."
Jamie shook his head and signed, "I don't want to go to bed. Can I stay up with you and Big Brother Artemis?" He looked up at his big sister with huge adorable eyes.
Faith pinched his small button nose and wiggled it. "Sorry, J-Bear, you have to go to bed," She signed. Jamie pouted and crossed his arms cutely. Faith stroked his inky black hair soothingly. "Don't be mad J-Bear. I'll tell you what, if you go to bed then when you wake up I'll make you chocolate chip pancakes," she bribed. Jamie immediately jumped out of his angry state the monument she signed chocolate chip pancakes; he sat up and smiled adorably at her.
"Do we have a deal," Faith asked.
The small boy nodded vigorously in agreement. He jumped up, threw his arms around her neck, and knocked her down on her back. Jamie nuzzled his head against her neck affectionately; Faith stroked his hair lovingly. She sat back up with the boy attached to her neck and carried him to his room. The older sister tucked Jamie into bed, and gave him his stuffed dinosaur. Before she would leave him, he requested a bedtime story. He loved it when his beloved sister lay beside him and signed stories to him. Faith sighed, but she smiled sweetly at him. She lay in the bed next to him, and he cuddled up next to her anxiously waiting for his sister to start. Faith signed/told to him favorite story, it was about a fairy who loved sneaking into little kids' room and taking their toys and the boy who woke up one night and caught the fairy stealing his toys and brought the sneaky fairy to justice. While Faith told him the fable, Jamie's eyelids became heavier with sleep. When Faith got to the end, Jamie was fast asleep. The young woman smiled at the snoozing child. She watched the boy, who gave her life meaning and purpose, sleep peacefully in his bed like an angel.
Faith truly believed that her purpose in life was to protect and nurture the people she loved. Most people who didn't know her personally wouldn't be able to tell that she was actually loving because of her cold, hard exterior, but the reason for it was solely because of her need and thrive to protect her family from any possible threat.
She softly stroked Jamie's delicate cheek; he unconsciously nuzzled to her touch.
Her past life might not have been the best. Truth be told, it fucking sucked, but if it meant getting to where she is now, seeing her brothers, Artemis, her closest friends smile, she would go through it all over again a thousand times and take a pit stop into hell for them if that's what it took.
Faith kissed her brother's forehead, and gently climbed out of his bed. She turned on his nightlight before she closed his bedroom door. Two strong hands came from behind her, and caressed her bare arms and shoulders. She smile exultantly and let his hands roam her body. Artemis kissed her neck; she closed her eyes in blessedness and was willing to let him do whatever he wished to her.
She wouldn't change anything in her life for the world…well except maybe a few things…
~Fowl Manor~
Angeline angrily paced up and down in the study. Artemis Sr. sat down on a leather couch, calmly reading a book. Butler, who finally calmed down from his shock, sat down in a comfortable leather chair with a deadpan look on his face.
It was an hour later after Minerva told them of the situation Artemis was currently in. For Angeline the news was bittersweet; she was extremely happy that her son found true love, but she was beyond pissed that he lied to her for two years. For Butler, it was also bittersweet; he felt hurt that Artemis didn't trust him enough to tell him even after everything they went through together as best friends and family. Artemis Fowl Sr. took the news extremely well; his son's actions didn't surprise him because of his fatherly intuition and his observation of his son's behavior like when he accompanies Mr. Fowl on business meeting his son loses focus and has an I'm-completely-and-obviously-in-love-smile on his face.
Angeline bit her thumb while she continuously paced, and poor Butler stared at the floor expressionlessly. Artemis Sr. looked up from him his book and saw his wife and his longtime employee and friend silently but surely lose their minds. He sighed and set his book to the side.
"Angeline, sweetheart, please calm yourself. Butler… eh… You're calmer now so you are fine the way you are," he said.
Angeline abruptly came to a stop and she glared at her husband, "Calm down?! How can I calm down! Artemis, our Arty, has been lying to us for two years and you tell me to calm down!"
Artemis Sr. rolled his eyes, "Technically, love, he has not lied to us, he just didn't tell us."
"No," Angeline argued, "he did lie to us. He told us it was business, not dating! He had me worried sick! He leaves for days or weeks and doesn't tell us anything. He didn't even bring, Butler!" Butler cringed.
"You two are over reacting," Artemis Sr. sighed, "So what he didn't tell us or had Butler trailing behind him. I'm sure he had a good reason for it. Our boy is 23-years-old, for heaven's sake, he's allowed to do whatever he wants."
Angeline shook her head defiantly, "No, I am so tired of him thinking he can do whatever he wants as long as we don't know, and I am sick of his dishonesty. I want him back home and I want him back now so he can explain himself." The seriously upset upper-class woman took out her cellphone and started dialing her son's number.
The head of the Fowl family jumped off the couch and still his wife's hands. "Sweetheart," he coaxed, "there's no need for that now if you really need to talk to him, let's wait until tomorrow. It's late and I'm sure he is spending time with his girlfriend, so let Artemis be Artemis for tonight."
Angeline sighed and nodded understandingly. Artemis Sr. smiled, and released his wife's hand. Unfortunately, as soon as Angeline was free from her husband's grasp, she pressed the call button.
"Angeline no-," he tried lunging for the phone, but she outstretched her arm. His face accidently collided with palm of her hand, and hit his nose.
"Ow," Artemis Sr. groaned and held his nose. As soon as the pain faded, he tried grabbing the phone that was pressed against his wife's ear. She side-stepped away from him and he almost tumbled down to the ground.
"Angeline, come now, put down the phone, we shouldn't disturb him right now," Artemis Sr. pleaded.
"And why not," she said testily.
He rolled his eyes, "You and me both know what he might be doing right now."
Angeline's eyes widen, "You don't think…"
"He is a man. A Fowl man at that, so yes. Now, put the phone down and let him be," he said soothingly while slowly reaching for the phone.
The still insanely mad wife/mother clutched her phone tightly and shook her head, "No."
"Give it here," Artemis Sr. demanded and tried for the final time to take the phone. His wife ruthlessly kicked him (with heels on) in the shin. He went down instantly and held his throbbing shin.
"Angeline! That was totally uncalled for… Butler! Why didn't you do anything," Artemis Sr. shouted in pain.
"What? Oh! Sir, are you alright," Butler finally go out of his depressed, hurt stupor and immediately went to Artemis Sr.'s side.
"Yes! I am just peachy," he yelled sarcastically, "I decided to lie on the ground and hold my leg for apparent reason!"
Angeline stuck he tongue out at him, "That's what you get for trying to stop me. I'm calling him and telling him to-"
"Mother," Artemis Jr.'s voice said through the phone. Everyone in the room froze, except for Angeline who instantly put the phone against her ear.
"Arty?"
"Mother, is everything alright," Artemis asked concerned.
"No, everything is no-"
"Angeline, for the love of God, let him be," Artemis Sr. interrupted.
"No! I won't," Angeline shouted with so much forced and anger that it scared the living crap out the two men who was in the same room as her.
"Eh. Mother, is this an emergency," Artemis said with concern in his voice.
"Yes, it is an emergency. I want you back home now."
There was a long pause on the other end.
"Right now?"
"Yes."
"At this moment?"
"Yes!"
….
"Is this a dire situation?"
"Yes, it is. For you."
"Damn."
"What was that, young man?"
"Oh nothing moth-"
"Mom!"
"Mom, can this wait until tomorrow; I am a bit busy at the moment."
"No, come home right now! If you're not home in the next two hours, I will lock you out of your study for two months," Angeline threatens.
"Mom, I am 23. Do you not think I am bit old for punishment?"
"I don't care if you are 56, and don't you dare argue with me," Angeline shouted.
"Mom, I apologize for arguing with you, but please be reasonable, I am very, very busy at the moment."
"See I told you," Artemis Sr. said beside his wife, "He's being intimate. Artemis, son, for once you don't have to listen to your mother, you can come back whenever you are ready."
Angeline elbowed her husband in his gut. "Oof," Artemis Sr. put a hand over his stomach and unconsciously took a step back.
"No," she hissed, "you listen to me. I command you to come back; if you don't, I promise you things are to be very difficult starting with all your technology including you cellphone."
"Moth-"
"Do it!" She hung up the phone. She stumped to a nearby faux leather couch and sat down with her arms crossed and started tapping her foot furiously.
Artemis Sr. shook his head and sighed. I am so sorry, Arty, my boy. I tried. I really did.
~Faith's Apartment~ Earlier
Artemis was in a place better than heaven, and that was between a scantily dressed Faith's legs on the leather loveseat in the living room. He was attacking her neck while pinning Faith by her wrists. She chanted his name in pleasure while she let him do whatever he wanted with her.
Artemis pulled down right white strap of the angelic white sheer nightgown lingerie he bought for her earlier. Faith shrugged out of the strap and left her shoulder completely exposed and defenseless to Artemis. He moved his lips to her pale, delicate shoulder and placed tender kisses on it. Faith lightly brushed her inner thighs against his sides and whimpered cutely. Her soft erotic whimpers, made his errection twitch with arousal. Artemis released her wrists, rubbed his hands against her velvet thighs and raised the hem of the smooth lingerie upward to expose her nude sex. His clothed errection pressed against her entrance causing them both to moan in delight.
"Hmmm…Artemis," she whispered his name and ran her hands through his dark locks. She grasped his hair roughly and arched her back to be closer to him.
Artemis made a trail of kisses from her shoulder to her slightly parted lips. His tongue slip inside her mouth and explored her wet sweet cavern. He dominated the kiss and played with Faith's tongue with his; his arousal ached painfully in his pants. He needed her. He needed to show his never-ending love and devotion by slipping himself inside her and make her insane with pleasure. Faith sucked lightly on his bottom lip before he broke the kiss and nuzzled her nose with his lovingly. Artemis quickly slipped out his already open button up shirt, and tossed it to the floor carelessly. With Faith's help, he unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. He molded his body to hers. His heart, body, and mind melted as he felt her so close to him, and her angelic gorgeous bluish-green orbs twinkled just for him and her smile lit up his entire being.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered.
Faith's kissable plump lips curled up into a small, shy smile. A light pink blush graced her pale skin; she couldn't help but shyly look away from his intense gaze. "No," she whispered modestly.
Artemis put a tender hand on her cheek and traced her bottom lip with his thumb. She is too adorable. She has so much power over me and she doesn't even know it.
Faith wrapped her legs around his waist, and held onto his neck like her dependent on it. She closed the small gap between their lips by pressing her lips delicately against his. He tasted so refined, masculine, and sweet to her; she felt his love for her through the kiss. The kiss set her entire being aflame and brought new life to her. Her heart soared with happiness and passion.
"Artemis…please," she pleaded to him into his lips. She needed him just as much as he needs her. She needs to be connected with him and become one.
Artemis kissed her cheek lovingly, and supported the upper half of his body with his elbows so he can look down at her. Faith's breath got caught in her throat when she saw his longing, animalistic stare pierce through her soul; he smirk devilishly at her.
"As you wish," he said seductively. He reached down between them, and guided himself slowly into her warm, tight entrance.
Faith's mind, heart, and body shattered then were put back together perfectly. She felt complete and filled in more ways than one. The dark haired girl pulled the Irish genius into a tighter embrace.
Artemis pressed his cheek against her soft chest; he nuzzled his nose against her skin and placed a soft kiss on it. He raised her arms above her head, and scaled his skillful hands down the sides of her body. He felt her luscious curves under his fingertips, and strolled back up intertwine his fingers with hers above her head.
He gave her one more kiss on her lips before thrusting briskly into her. Faith soundlessly screamed out, and arched her back. Tremors of pleasure erupted throughout their body. Their entangled hands held tightly to each other.
"Oh God, you're so tight," Artemis moaned in ecstasy. Her womanhood clenched around his cock deliciously; he drove himself deep inside her causing her to moan loudly. Faith felt Artemis almost hit her G-spot.
"Ah! Ah! Artemis," she panted loudly.
Artemis completely pulled out causing her to groan, and brought himself to his knees. He grabbed her arm roughly, pulled her up, picked her up by her thighs, and made her wrap her legs around his waist. Faith giggled as she held on to him and kissed him. Artemis merely smirked into the kiss, and reaches between them once again and guided himself inside her. She threw her head back, and moaned in ecstasy. Her clothed breasts pressed against his strong chest as she pressed herself against him tighter.
Artemis licked from her neck to her chin slowly, and then placed a small kiss on her plump bottom lip. He thrusted upward; it was hard and deep and the new position made intensely pleasurable tremors erupt throughout his body. Faith met his thrusts enthusiastically; she smiled wickedly when she saw Artemis face clouded with lust and pleasure. She rubbed her hands up and down his chest, purposively touching his sensitive nipples.
The young woman bounced up and down on him and caused him to moan deeply. She leaned backwards on him and supported herself with one arm on the cushion of the couch. She grinds upon him while he pounded her ruthlessly. Faith felt her arm quickly go weak from the wonderful sensations surging through her; she bit her lip hard to contain the screams that threaten to come out. She didn't want her annoying neighbors to hear them.
Artemis continued to easily slid in and out of her. His grasp on her thighs tighten making red blotches on her porcelain skin. He felt his release bubbling within him, and he definitely felt hers coming too because her inner walls clenched around his length tighter.
He moan deeply in ecstasy and pounded her harder. Faith held onto him around his neck with both arms. She rode him vigorously as he slid in and out of her.
"Oh God! I'm coming," he panted.
*Buzz. Buzz.*
"Mmmm. Artemis," she moaned.
*Buzz. Buzz*
Faith's pleasure consumed mind snapped back to reality when she felt the strange vibration of Artemis' cellphone against her inner thigh. It was strange because Artemis' cellphone is usually off when he is with her. However, being the genius Artemis is, he programed his phone to have a special vibration that will go off even when his phone was completely shut down if someone called his emergency cellphone number. She knew because she devotedly listened to his explanation (really bragging) about it, and even demonstrated how it works to her.
*Buzz. Buzz*
"U-Ugh… A-Artemis," she panted out while Artemis continued pound into her.
"Oh Faith," he moaned.
He's not listening. She sighed. Faith had to push Artemis down on his back roughly to get his attention, and sat on top of him.
"Artemis," she said sternly.
"Ow," he groaned and rubbed his back, "Would you please explain to me what was that for?"
Faith looked at him with innocent eyes, "I'm sorry, sweetheart. Did I hurt you?"
"Actually you did not," he admitted, he couldn't help but succumb to her sweet, innocent look she knew he would fall for, "but you did catch me off-guard. What is it?"
"You emergency activation on your phone is going off, didn't you notice it?"
Confusion was written all over his face until he felt the vibration of his cellphone in his pocket. He pulled it out of his pocket while rolling his eyes in irritation.
"Just when we were having fun," Artemis complained, "I wonder what catastrophe will befall on me this time." Faith stroked his hair sympathetically and leaned down to kiss him on the side of his mouth. Artemis mentally cursed because of the really bad timing of the phone call. He hit the call button while stroking Faith arm affectionately as she continued to kiss his cheeks and neck until a very angry feminine voice came from the phone.
"… I'm calling him and telling him to-"
"Mother," Artemis answered, trying not to get too distracted from Faith.
"Arty," Angeline asked.
Artemis sat up straighter on the couch with Faith still on top of him. "Mother is everything alright," he asked with concern. He wondered what could be going so wrong that his mother is using his emergency number. Everyone knows that calling Artemis' emergency number must mean something completely catastrophic is happening. He thought about what could be going wrong this time. Psycho Fairies? Greedy business men? Or maybe family problems?
"No, everything is not-"
"Angeline, for the love of God, let him be," he heard Artemis Sr.'s voice and sounded almost pleading. What's going on?
"No! I won't," Angeline shouted scarily and caused Artemis to jump in surprise.
Is everything alright? Faith mouthed to Artemis.
I don't know. He mouthed back and shrugged.
"Eh, Mother, is this an emergency," Artemis asked worriedly.
"Yes, it is an emergency. I want you back home now," he heard his mother demand sternly.
Artemis didn't reply; he looked forward at Faith who was gazing at him with concern. He wanted to lick his lips at how compelling and tempting she was at that moment. The white, sheer nightgown he bought for her hugged her curves perfectly. The strap of the gown he previously slipped off hung under her arm and almost exposed one of her breasts, and her long, dark hair was messy from their intimacy. She looked like a mesmerizing sex kitten. He can't just leave her looking like that! What type of man would he be if he did?
"Right now," he raised an eyebrow.
"Yes."
"At this moment," he asked, hoping that maybe his mother really does not mean for him to leave a moment of hot, passionate, wild sex at that exact moment.
"Yes," she shouted and caused him to jump. He leaned his head back and sighed irritably. Why now of all times? Especially when Faith looks like she's more than ready to be taken repeatedly by me.
"Is this a dire situation," he asked seriously.
"Yes, it is. For you."
"Damn," he said thoughtlessly. He realized what he had said a second later, and put a hand over his mouth. Oops.
"What was that young man," Angeline said testily.
"Oh nothing, moth-"
"Mom!"
"Mom," he corrected himself, "Can this please wait until tomorrow. I am a bit busy at the moment."
"No, come home right now! If you're not home in the next two hours, I will lock you out of your study for two months," Angeline threatened.
"Mom, I am 23, do you not think I am a bit old for punishment," Artemis argued. He couldn't believe his mother stoop that low at his age, and would not listen to his plea.
"I don't care if you are 56, and don't you dare argue with me," Angeline shouted.
Artemis sighed irritably and ran a hand through his dark raven hair; Faith tried to comfort him by stroking his hair. "Mom, I apologize for arguing with you, but please be reasonable. I am very, very busy at this time."
"See, I told you," he heard Artemis Sr.'s voice through the phone, "He's being intimate. Artemis, son, for once you don't have to listen to your mother. You can come back whenever you are ready."
Artemis' mouth dropped open. How in the hell did Artemis father possibly know what he could be doing. Artemis surely didn't tell Artemis Sr. about him and Faith, so how could he have guessed so accurately… unless someone told him. Could it be Juliet? No, it couldn't be. Artemis knew her and she would never go back on her word… Holly? Again highly unlikely because like Juliet she wouldn't break her promise…So that only leads to…Minerva!
It all makes sense to him now. Minerva was probably looking for him at Fowl Manor, assuming he might be there. He knew after realizing he wasn't at Fowl Manor, she would be angry and spiteful and told everyone out of revenge. Damn it Minerva!
Artemis wanted to punch the wall. Of course! He knew how vindictive Minerva could be, and she is the only one out of his three female friends that would spill his secret to someone he really didn't want to know. That is probably why Angeline is calling him now. It's clear now that he has been lying to her and everyone else for the past two years, and he knew his mother would be furious about that.
The Irishman's thoughts were put to a halt when he heard an "oof" on the other end, and was replaced by his mother's angry voice. "No," he heard her hiss, "you listen to me. I command you to come back and if you don't, I promise you things are going to be very difficult starting with all of your technology including your cellphone."
"Moth-," he tried to plea.
"Do it!" He heard the phone harshly hang up; Artemis clenched his hand around the phone. He couldn't believe this was happening. First, Holly, Juliet, and, worst of all, Minerva. Now, it's Angeline, Artemis Sr. and Butler. This is not how he wanted everyone to find out. He actually planned how he would introduce Faith to everyone by every single detail, for heaven's sake, but his plan has gone up in smoke and there is no way to go around it.
"Damn it," he cursed bitterly and ran his hand through his dark raven hair. He felt a warm, soft hand caress his cheek affectionately. Artemis covered Faith's hand with his own, and sighed in defeat.
"Artemis," she said softly, "it sounds like you're having a bit of family problems."
"My mother wants me home immediately," he explained, "I have to leave."
Faith controlled the urge to cringe. She didn't want him to leave; she wanted him to stay longer. When he was there with her and younger brothers, it felt like they were one happy family. She felt more safe and more at home when he was close by.
However, she can't keep him away from his family for too long. She knew how it felt to have someone very close to you taken away by someone else. It is painful feeling she wouldn't want anyone to feel, not even her worst enemies. She would feel guilty and ashamed if she realized she blocked him from his family.
She swallowed her discomfort and forced a smile. "Alright, that sounds fair enough," she said with a bright, forced smile.
Artemis wasn't fooled by her charade; he knew she hates it when he leaves and so does he. He saw past her gleaming grin and saw the sadness in her eyes.
"I am so sorry," he apologized sincerely. Artemis sat up right with her still on top of him, put his arms around her back, and rested his head on her chest. Faith immediately wrapped her arms around his neck; she savored the feel of his skin pressed against hers and made sure she engraved the memory into her mind while he is gone.
"You don't need to apologize," she assured him, "They need you at home; your family should be you're first priority."
Artemis stared up at her with his bright, crystal blue eyes that melted her soul and captured her heart. "You and the boys are my family also; therefore, you are my superior priority too."
His words embraced her heart and almost brought tears of joy to her eyes. She placed her palms on both sides of his pale face, and rubbed her thumbs on his cheeks. Faith wanted to kiss him so badly but she knew if she did he would never leave, and they would end up making love to each other for the rest of night.
"I mean you're biological family," Faith chuckled, "Your mother wants you home, and it's wise to not keep her waiting. A mother's wrath is a forced to be reckoned with, trust me."
Artemis chuckled weakly, and nuzzled his nose against her chest. "That is true."
"And I did hear her threaten she would take your devices. You would probably die without your cellphone and laptop if she takes it away," she continued teasingly.
"It would not really matter because I always have spares hidden, just in case," Artemis smirked.
Faith gasped mockingly, "Artemis! You naughty boy!"
Artemis scaled his hands down to her hips sensually, and looked up at her seductively. "Maybe you should put me in my place then, eh?" He tried to kiss her, but she put a hand on his chest and pushed him back a little.
"Ugh-Ugh. You have to go, bad boy," she said. She patted him on his cheek before hopping off of him, and straightens her clothing. Artemis shivered when her warm body left his; a loud disappointed groan escaped his lips. Artemis was seriously upset. Their earlier actions left him hot and bother, and, to add insult to injury, he has to go home and face the wrath of his mother.
Faith sensed his unease, so she sat near him on the edge of the couch where Artemis lied on. She kissed his shoulder to comfort him, and rubbed his arm. "Artemis, just go back home, and do whatever your mother wants you to do; then whenever you are ready you can come back to me."
Artemis stroked her cheek softly, "I do not like leaving you on your own."
Faith leaned into his touch like a kitten. "I know," she murmured, "but we all have business and problems we have to take care of first."
She was right and he knew it, but still days without seeing and feeling her was tortured to him. When he had to leave her, he is uneasy and can't stop thinking about her. Artemis acknowledges that his thought process when he is apart from Faith is paranoid and obsessive. He thinks about whether she is safe or not, happy or sad, does she have everything she needs, and so on.
"Faith…"
She put a finger on his lips before he continued, and shushed him. "No time for that. I'm guessing she gave you a limited amount of time to get home, and it's a forty-five minute drive; plus, traffic is going to be excruciating. It's best to leave now."
Artemis sighed. Right again. It's funny; usually he's the one who's mostly right. Without further complaint, he zipped his pants, grabbed his shirt and tie, and put them on. Faith found his dark grey designer suit jacket on one of the high chairs in front of a counter in the kitchen, and brought it to him. She help him slip his lean, strong arm through the sleeves, and tighten his tie like a good little trophy wife.
Soon she will be an honorary Fowl wife, Artemis thought confidently.
After she straightens his tie, the dark haired girl also fixed his hair, so it didn't look like he just got done having sex with someone.
Artemis chuckled, "Thank you, mother."
"You're welcome, son," she smirked, "Now you go on home and be on your best behavior." She playfully pulled on his ear, "I mean it young man. No back talk and sit up straight. Understood?"
Artemis pulled away from her hold on his ear. "Yes, ma'am," he laughed and rubbed his ear, "I promised to be on very best behavior." His arms trapped her body to him and took hold of her waist. "And if I do," he continued seductively, "do you promised to reward me for it?"
Her hands rested on his chest, and her light blue-green orbs were gleaming with mischief. She smirked devilishly, "Hmmm. If I hear you were a good boy, then I'll…" She stood on her tippy toes to reach his ear and whispered words that would make a sailor blush and his lower regions rock hard.
A smirk stretched across Artemis' face as her dirty words penetrated through his ears. "I promise I will return as quickly as possible," he vowed. He took out his phone and sent a text message to his personal driver, so he can hurry home and get whatever that awaits him over with.
Faith chuckled at his eagerness, "Dirty talk. The best way to get a man going."
"In more ways than one," Artemis smirked as he fixed the cuffs on his jacket. He reached the oak door, and stepped out of the apartment. Faith followed him out, but hid behind the door to cover up her provocatively exposed body; her head and arm was the only thing visible from the door.
"Goodnight," she said sweetly to him even though her heart was clawing its way out to him to get him to stay.
Artemis smiled handsomely at her; he cupped her face with both hands. His mouth was less than a centimeter away from hers. "Goodnight, sweetheart," he whispered softly before he kissed her. He asked for entrance and was instantly accepted. Their tongues slithered into each other's mouths, and fought for dominance. Faith submitted easily and he dominated the kiss.
She giggled when he kissed both sides of her mouth before giving her one last goodnight kiss.
"Take care. Give your brother a kiss for me," he said softly.
"Of course. You just try not to get kicked out of your manor," she joked and kissed him on his cheek. "Good luck, you're going to need it," she whispered in his ear.
Artemis wanted to groan from remembering the headache his will have to endure when he gets home, but resisted the urge. He didn't want to ruin the touching goodbye. The Irishman smiled weakly at her; he couldn't help but admire her exotic beauty one last time before he left to days of loneliness and lack of affection. He stroked her cheek farewell, and let his hand linger away from her cheek and walked away from her doorway.
Faith watched him saunter gracefully down the long spacious hallway to the elevator. She sighed yearningly when she heard the elevator door closed. The young woman heard someone loudly and annoyingly clears her throat at the left side of her door. Faith groaned in irritation; she knew exactly who it was. An annoying, nosy neighbor of Faith's.
"Hello, Ms. McLaughlin," she sighed without looking at the elderly spinster neighbor.
"Miss Holloway isn't it a bit late to be displaying such obscenities in public," a bitter, raspy, old lady voice berated.
Faith rolled her eyes, "Why? Were you spying on me again?"
"No," she lied, "you two kids were making such a racket out here. Next time, I'll call the authorities!"
"Hey Ms. McLaughlin how are your many, many, many cats? I heard more than a third of them ran away. I wonder why? Could it be that maybe it's because you spend almost all your time digging into other people's business instead of actually feeding them, or is it because even the cats can see that living on streets is better than living with you. At least on the streets they might get more food."
Ms. McLaughlin gasped, "Why you little bit-"
"Have a wonderful, fantastic night," Faith said sarcastically. She slammed the door before the old spinster could storm to her doorway, wag her wrinkled finger at Faith, and scream complaints like many times before.
Fuck that, she thought and stretched; it was a long and eventful day. Plus, she has to be prepared for her job…
~Fowl Manor~
Artemis stood outside the massive wooden double front doors of Fowl Manor, dreading to touch the shiny, golden handles of one of the doors. Even though the night air was chilly, he felt beads of sweat falling down on the side of his face and neck because of anxiety and nervousness.
Get a hold of yourself, man. Just open the door and endure like a mature adult. The quicker I complete this the quicker I have Faith back in my arms…nude preferably.
He took a deep breath before gripping the handle and pulling it downward. Despite the door's massive size, it easily slid open with a soft creak. He silently crept inside the manor and was greeted by brilliant light from the pure crystal chandeliers. His loafers patted against the glossy marble floor as he walked to the grand staircase to one of the living rooms his family often uses. He knew they were there waiting for him to pass their judgment on him for lying to them and making them sick with worry.
Artemis journey through the hallway, passing antique family portraits and art masterpieces on his way to what he thought was his doom. His heart pounded in his chest, and tried to do breathing exercises he discovered and wrote in one of his many health sciences books. His destination came closer and closer; therefore, his confidence was slipping away within each step closer.
The cherry wooden door that leads to family living room mocked him as he stood before it. Alright, I am here; there is no turning back…
"ARTEMIS FOWL II! I KNOW YOUR'RE THERE! GET IN HERE!"
Then again… maybe I should turn back…
"DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY!"
Artemis sighed and covered the crystal doorknob with his hand, turned it, slowly pushed open the door, and gracefully but cautiously stepped inside. Most of his family was already there. His mother, Angeline, stood closest to the door; she was glaring at him like a murderous hawk. Artemis Sr. and Butler stood near one another like they were having a conversation. Juliet was there also; she was lounging on a navy blue leather couch. She mouthed 'I'm so sorry' to Artemis sympathetically. He smiled weakly at her, and had an 'It's alright' expression on his face.
Everything was silent except for Angeline's furious foot stumping. All eyes were on Artemis, and he shifted uncomfortably.
"Good evening, everyone," he greeted as positively as he can. He looked at his angry mother with a nervous smile, "Mother, you look wonderful today. I see the spa has done you great justice…"
"Don't give me that, young man," she interrupted him, "I am very disappointed in you."
"Mother please…"
"I am talking so hush," she put her hand up to silence him, "you lied to us, Artemis, again. You had us all worried and so concerned about you again. What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Mother," he began gently, "I understand what I have done, and I take full responsibility for it, but you're overreacting…"
Angeline stepped back like someone had struck her, "Overreacting?! You shut yourself away from us, reoccurringly disappear for long periods of time, also you have a history of committing outrageous acts. I think I have a right to overreact!"
"Mother, I am not that criminal mastermind I was years ago. I have changed drastically; you have seen on multiple occasions of my growth. None of you should have been concerned about me because I can sufficiently take care of myself without getting into trouble," Artemis argued respectfully.
"I understand that, but why haven't you told us about this in the beginning? What was you reason?"
"Well…" How was he going to answer that? Artemis didn't want to admit that one of the main reasons why he didn't tell them about Faith sooner was because it simply slipped his mind. During his pursuing days of his relationship with Faith, he was so extremely adamant over having her it was obsessive. He wasn't entirely worried about what his family or friends thought as he unconsciously brushed them aside to seize his ultimate prize.
"… I was planning to tell you, make no mistake of that, but I desired for everything to be grounded first before I told any of you."
"It's been two years it takes us this long to find out," Angeline said exasperatedly.
"I apologize, it took longer than it should have, as I said I take full responsibility, but I am a full adult. I am allowed to make decisions and undertake actions without parental supervision, am I not?"
"He's right," Juliet stepped in bravely. She could not sit there and let her friend get harshly berated for something he could not help. "With all due respect, madam, Artemis is big boy now. Technically, he can do whatever he wants without your consent. Really, there is no reason to be upset, Mrs. Fowl."
Angeline snapped her eyes at Juliet, "Juliet, do not come to his rescue. I am giving him a piece of my mind after all the things he put us all of us through."
"But madam…"
"Juliet," Butler scolded, "you know better than to argue." Juliet was going to argue, but a harsh, demanding look from Butler, that would have sent anyone who didn't know him personally sprinting away, silenced her.
"Artemis," Angeline continued, "After all the lies and deceitfulness, I find it hard to believe anything you say, so to really find the truth I want you phone."
"I'm sorry? What?"
"You heard me," she crossed her arms, "Give me and your father your cellphone. I realize now that is something I should have done before. If only I was stricter with you and checked on you more, we wouldn't be having this discussion."
Artemis eyes widen in bewilderment, "You're confiscating my phone like I am a rebellious teenager. Surely, you can't be serious!"
"I am very serious. You may be legally an adult, but you're still my son. Now, hand it over." She outstretched her arm, and opened her palm for his phone.
Artemis glared at his mother like she was madwoman. "This is beyond preposterous…"
"Artemis either you give me you cellphone willingly, or I will have Butler get it from you."
Artemis weighed down his options. He can refuse and have Butler manhandle him, or give up his phone and have his mother snoop through it. He sighed, reached into his jacket pocket, took out his phone, and wordlessly handed his phone to his mother. Artemis couldn't really be seriously nervous about his mother going through his phone because all top secret information was under lock in his cellphone. No one would be able to see the secret information in his phone unless he operated it himself. Knowing that, he calmly gave up his phone to his mother.
"Allow me to handle that," Artemis Fowl Sr. spoke up for the first time during the moment, "I know a thing or two about these things. I'm sure I can find some of our boy's transgressions."
Artemis Jr. shook his head. I can't believe this is happening!
Angeline smiled; she was happy her husband was, after hours of debate, on her side. She gave him the phone and he went off with it to one of the navy blue faux leather armchair while his wife continued to scold their oldest son.
As soon as he rested in an armchair, the head of the Fowl family felt the phone vibrate in his hand. Artemis Sr. examined the screen on the phone, and raised an eyebrow. Who could be sending messages so late? On the screen, he saw a blue box with white lettering and an envelope icon on the bottom-right corner. The white words in the box were said "Beach Pictures" and a palm tree beside the words. The beach? But Arty hates beaches.
Truth be told, Artemis Sr. didn't volunteer to take his older son's phone because he agreed with his wife; he took his phone to save his son's private information away from Angeline's prying eyes… But now… curiosity was seriously eating at his conscious. Why would his son have someone send pictures to him about the beach?
Temptation and curiosity grabbed his conscious and persuaded him to press the envelope icon to take a peek at the mail. I shouldn't… but… No. No. I should not be evading his privacy… Then again…
Somehow the message noticed Artemis Sr.'s battling conscious, and made the decision for him which was open itself up and display the content inside the email. Artemis Sr. raised an eyebrow. Hello…
"-Don't you ever lie to me ever again, do you understand, "Angeline said sternly, finally finishing her rant.
"Yes, mother," Artemis sighed feeling like a child again when his mother use to stare him down and scold him.
"Do you? Do you honestly understand or are you just saying that," Angeline crossed her arms.
"I understand, Mother. For the hundredth time…
"Angeline," Artemis Sr. called to his wife from the armchair many feet away, "that's enough now. I think you made your point very clear." He turned to his eldest son, "Artemis, it's my turn to have a talk with you. Alone." He used the commanding, authoritative tone he used to always use before he was kidnapped by the Russian Mafia; it was a tone of voice that no one argued with, and struck fear into anyone's heart.
Artemis Jr. gulped. This is not good.
Everyone except both Artemis's left the very spacious living room wordlessly. Juliet gave Artemis a considerate touch on his shoulder. He touched the hand on his shoulder appreciatively before the hand left his shoulder and the room
The head of the Fowl family beckoned his son to come closer to him with a stern glare. The heir of Fowl family sighed and sauntered to his father with a look of defeat. Artemis Jr. stood beside the armchair like he always done whenever his father was sitting down and called him to come closer.
"Artemis," Artemis Sr. began sternly. Artemis prepared himself for the brutal scolding his father was famous for giving, "I must say what an impeccable choice."
Artemis could only imagine how dumbfounded he looked at that moment, "What?"
Artemis Sr. held up Artemis Jr.'s cellphone and showed him the screen on it. Artemis face paled. What in the name of hellfire?!
On the screen of the cellphone was picture of a stunningly toned, curvy, porcelain female figure clad blood red bikini top, and a sheer navy blue fabric wrapped securely around her hips. She was sitting on her knees on an intricate designed quilt lying on yellow sand at a clear sunny beach. It seemed like it was very windy when the picture was taken because her hair long black hair was flying around in the wind; her hand reached behind her head to keep a floppy tan-brown sun hat from flying off her head. Her face was turned to side like she was gazing at something amusing, and was serene and endearing. The smile was what really got Artemis; it was a soft, loving, and genuinely happy. If the picture was modeling ad, Artemis has no doubt that everyone and their brother would buy it in a heartbeat.
The picture was taken by Artemis on his smart phone when he, Faith, and the boys went to the beach. He can fondly remember the perfect day and one of the memories on that day was that Artemis took a lot of pictures of their venture, and most of them was Faith in that wonderful beach attire. Unfortunately, Artemis couldn't admire of one of his most favorite pictures of her because it is something he did not want anyone to see, especially his father.
"How did you find that," Artemis exclaimed in surprise.
"Someone sent it moments ago," Artemis Sr. answered simply.
"Sent it? How could anyone se -" Foaly.
That damned centaur must have hacked into his very personal files and found out himself. Who knows how long Foaly have known about his relationship. He might have known the entire time. But why would he send the pictures now of all times…
A light bulb lit up in his head as he realized the reason. He warily looked up at one of the security cameras which were pointed at the armchair his father sat in. The camera winked and mocked him in his face. He restrained a growl threatening to come out and he composed himself in front of his father. Damn you, Foaly. You deliberately sent those pictures to my phone, seeing that my phone is being taken away. Seeing that my father has it in his procession, and sent those pictures for him to see and who knows who else. If done to someone else, I would have applauded this, but… SON OF BITCH, FOALY!
Artemis sighed, "It seems the cat is completely out of the bag."
"Son, why are you so upset? You should be proud, your girl is flawless," Artemis Sr. praised while scrolling through more pictures, "Cannot believe you hid someone like her away from everyone."
"It was not very difficult to until now," he replied.
"I'm sorry, Arty, I tried to stop your mother, but you know her."
"Thank you, Father. I am grateful for your help."
"Of course," he said distractedly. He continued to raid through the alluring photos. "Arty, no matter what I will always-OH MY GOODNESS! Such beauty!" Artemis Sr.'s bright blue eyes were in entranced with the pictures of Artemis Jr.'s girlfriend. "Son, you know I love your mother to the point where I would I die and kill for her, but… if I was unmarried…"
"Father!" Artemis nearly yelped.
"Well, it's true. By the way, how old is she? She seems to be a bit younger than you," Artemis Sr. used the in depth observation skills the Fowl family was famous for having.
Artemis scratched the back of his head, "Eh… She's seventeen."
The older male dropped the phone on his lap to look at his son. The older male's eyes went wide with astonishment, "Seventeen? She's underage?!"
"Only by one year," Artemis protested, "She will be eighteen in January, and that's only a matter of months."
Artemis Sr. raised an eyebrow at his son's defensiveness, "Son, have you two…"
The younger male blushed scarlet and looked away from his father eyes, "Father that is private."
"So you have had sex with her," Artemis Sr. concluded, "I can't say I blame you after going through you little files, but knowing you, you would have waited until she was older. What happened?"
"Wait a moment, Father. I have not admitted that I have done… that with her."
"Arty, my boy, you do not need to verbally admit that you had sexual intercourse with her because it's written all over you face now that I have a good look at you. Your skin is glowing and a tad bit flushed and your hair is not as orderly as it usually is. It is too obvious."
Artemis' face turned redder than an apple, "There could be other reasons; it does not have to be just that."
"Son, look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong," Artemis Sr. challenged.
Identical striking blue eyes gazed at each other; Artemis Jr. was tempted to lie and tell his father he was wrong out of respect for Faith's privacy, but the intensity in his father's all-knowing eyes saw right through the younger man and discouraged him from dishonesty. If Artemis did decide to lie anyway, it would not matter any because his father saw the truth clearer than day.
Artemis' head dropped low helplessly; there was no way he can lie to his father, "You are right. We…"
Artemis Sr. raised a hand to interrupt him, "Say no more. I understand…But out of curiosity, why didn't you wait?"
Artemis felt his face warm up and his cheeks were redder than before, "I was planning to wait until she was eighteen, but she was… persistent."
Artemis Sr. leaned toward his son in his chair with interest, "Persistent, you say. Meaning…"
"She thought waiting until she was eighteen was pointless, and wanted to… consummate our relationship. I resisted at first, but she is very persuasive."
Artemis Sr. chuckled, "She is a frisky little thing, I presume?"
Artemis smirked mischievously, "Very."
Artemis Sr. laughed even harder and patted his son on his arm, "Well, son, I glad to hear you moved on. The only thing I suggest is always use protection… You are using protection, are you?"
Artemis blushed even more, "Of course, Father! You know I would never be that irresponsible."
The head of the Fowl smiled at his heir, "Good, Good. That's nice to hear. I cannot wait to become a grandfather but not this soon." Artemis Sr. rises up out of his seat, and straightens his dark blue suit elegantly. He put his strong slightly pale hand on his son's shoulder, "Good luck to you, my boy. I hope she is the one you're looking for."
Artemis smiled; it was a smile that Artemis Sr. never seen before and was so content. "She is the one. I bet everything on it."
"I put bets on it to, Arty. I can see the strong effect she has on you. Women always have had a strong influence on us men. They change us and make us glow like new."
Artemis smirk, "Am I glowing?"
"Radiating," the older male chuckled, "She has you shinning like a thousand fluorescent lights. She must be making you work hard!"
"Not anymore," Artemis corrected, "When I was making numerous attempts to get close to her, she fought back hard, and I strived to get her. It was the one of the reasons why I have been so detached from you all; she was too difficult to catch."
"Hmmmm. Frisky and feisty. Always a good combination in the bedroom."
"Father!"
"Artemis, we're men. We can talk about our nightly sessions… or morning sessions… or if I'm lucky-"
"Father…Just… no."
"Oh right, son! That reminds me, I want you to know if you ever need advice on how to pleasure your woman even more, I will happily show you some tricks. There's one that always has your mother screaming..."
"Father, if you don't want me to vomit all over the floor, you will stop right there," Artemis interrupted his father before he actually threw up all over the place.
"What? Are you sure you don't want any advice? There's one trick I use on your mother where I put a certain toy in her…"
"No! No! I don't want to hear it! Let's please stop talking about it forever!"
"Now, are you sure-"
"A thousand percent sure!"
"Alright suit yourself. Just trying to be helpful."
"That's too much help, Father."
There was an awkward silence between them for a few minutes. After what Artemis Sr. just enlighten his son with, Artemis wasn't sure he can look at his father the same way again.
Artemis Sr. clapped his hands, "Well, I say this little conversation is over. How about we go and pretend I gave you good scolding and call it day. What do you say?"
"Sounds perfect," Artemis agreed.
Artemis Sr. patted his son on the back, gave Artemis his phone back, put an arm around his shoulder, and walked to the door. They both took deep breathes, and stepped out the room.
The older male's arm was immediately off Artemis' shoulder. Angeline, Butler, and Juliet were waiting outside the door eagerly for the Fowl men. Artemis Sr.'s face was hard as a stone wall, and stood demandingly straight. Artemis looked like his feelings and his ego was smashed by a bulldozer as he stared down at the floor solemnly.
"Artemis, I hope you learned your lesson about deceitfulness. We have taught you better than that," Artemis Sr. said fiercely.
"I know, Father, and I am deeply ashamed of myself," Artemis said sorrowfully.
"Because this is more than the second time you have lied to us, I am banning you from your study for a couple of weeks," the head of the Fowl family continued; he thought he should have a little bit more fun with this. He loved toying with his wife and family with stunts like this.
Artemis pretended to be hurt by closing his eyes, and took an exasperated, deep breath, "If that is what you want, father, I will abide by it." Father and I would have been good actors if given the chance.
"Good," Artemis Sr. concluded, "I will hold on to the keys to your study. Give them to me."
Artemis reached into his inner suit jacket pocket, and handed the silver key to his father with sad injured puppy dog eyes. He also agreed with his father; messing with his family with the whole father-son harsh scolding skit was hilarious. It was hard for both of them not to laugh, when everyone else took it so seriously and believed it.
"Well, now that this little dispute is over, we can finally retire for the day," Artemis Sr. announced; he pocketed the key to the study in his suit pocket.
"Wait there's one more thing," Angeline said; she wasn't done with her son just yet, "Arty, invite your new girlfriend here for dinner. I expect her to come here soon, a couple of days at most so she can prepare, but I want to meet her." The elegant woman crossed her arms, "Is that understood?"
Artemis nodded numbly, "Yes, of course. I will call her tomorrow and make arrangements."
"Good…I can't wait to meet her," she said. Angeline turned on her heels and strutted to the staircase to retire. Juliet gave Artemis the thumbs up before following Angeline up the staircase. Before Butler left and followed Juliet and Angeline, he gave Artemis a 'We'll talk about this later' glare. Artemis couldn't meet his bodyguard's deep, dark blue eyes, and casted his eyes downward to the polished hardwood floor.
When they were out of sight, Artemis Sr. took out the key to the study out of his pocket; he tossed the small metal object to his son with a sly smirk. Artemis caught the key easily; he smiled back at his father.
"I'll try to keep your mother out of the manor as long as I can," he assured his son.
"Thank you, Father," Artemis said appreciatively and smiled.
The head of the family winked at his heir, before gracefully walking to the staircase to join his wife in their master bedroom.
Artemis sighed and ran his long fingers through his raven hair. His phone vibrated in his pocket and ringed softly. The Irishman raised an eyebrow and grabbed the device from his pocket. The screen on the phone displayed a blue box with "From: Foaly and Mulch" inside it with white lettering, and a video camera icon beside it. Artemis pressed the video camera immediately. The screen showed what Artemis guessed was Foaly's office. The centaur's office had walls that were nothing but machinery; it consisted of colorful blinking lights, monitors, and millions of buttons. Artemis heard snickering in the background in the video; he didn't see anyone yet.
"Okay, okay. It's on," Foaly's voice snickered.
He heard a lot more snickering and shushing before the centaur and the dwarf swooped into the screen with crafty smiles.
"Hello, mudboy," they said in unison; their voices were cracking in laughter. Artemis felt another headache coming, and resisted the urge to groan.
"We just to want to congratulate you on your new girlfriend," Foaly began mockingly.
"Yeah, mudboy," Mulch said while trying to contain a fit of giggles threatening to come out, "Once again you did the impossible which is getting laid. You must be so proud!"
"And she's not that bad to look at for a mudgirl, and that's saying a lot," Foaly continued; it would probably be the only compliment that the centaur would give.
"And everyone in the fairy folk agrees how unattractive humans are, especially compared to yours truly," Mulch grinned widely; his tombstone teeth gleamed with saliva, stained with dirt and food, and Artemis could have sworn that he saw bugs crawling around in there.
"Anyway," Foaly went on, "we just wanted to let you know that we returned something that belong to you. We hope it's not a bad time," Foaly sniggered, "or an inconvenience."
"Now you might be wondering 'What could pony boy and the handsome dwarf have to return to little ole Arty,'" Mulch rubbed his bearded chin like he was contemplating.
"Well, if you must know…" Foaly snickered.
"THOSE SEXY BINKINI PICTURES OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND YOU TRIED TO HIDE!" Mulch burst out.
The dwarf laughed hysterically; tears started to form in his eyes as he bellowed in laughter. The centaur followed suit, and burst out into wild laughter.
"You little asshole! You didn't actually think you could hide something like that away from me of all people!" Foaly laughed to the camera.
"Or me! I might not be a nerd like you and horse boy, but I know how to scout of someone's dirty little secrets," Much bellowed," And man is yours dirty!"
The young Irishman watched the video of his fairy friends howling in laughter and high-fived each other like they accomplished putting the first man on Pluto. Artemis was not, by no means, a violent person, but he wanted to go underground and bash the centaur's and dwarf's skulls in with anything blunt.
In the video, Artemis saw Foaly nudge Mulch to get his attention while they laughed.
"You know what else is funny? I never would have thought in a million years that Artemis would pull something like this! Stealing a rare ruby from a national high-security bank, yes. Hacking into the government's files and exploiting them, most definitely. But never getting a girl in bed!"
Mulch wiped a tear from his eyes, "Yeah, because he's so much of a prude I thought he might put himself off the market for 20 years!"
"Oooohhhh! Good one," Foaly high-fived him again.
"Th-That mudgirl must be doing something right to get Arty out of that celibate shell of his. Hey, Arty, what's she doin' to you! She must be turning you out like there's no tomorrow isn't she," Mulch bellowed even more; the dwarf held his stomach as he continued to lose it.
Mulch and Foaly slouched down into their seats in uncontrollable laughter for a solid three minutes. With a lot of effort, they contained themselves and sat back straighter in their seats. Their faces moved closer to the camera to the point where their visages dominated the entire small screen on the cellphone.
"ARTEMIS FOWL! YOU JUST GOT CUAGHT," they yelled in unison at the camera.
"HA!" Foaly added before the screen went black, and changed into tiny icons of different things on a navy blue layout.
Artemis glared at the phone like it will somehow curse the dwarf and centaur.
I… am… going… to…fucking… ruin… their… lives.
~Haven City: Foaly's Office~
Mulch and Foaly were literally on the ground laughing their asses off, when they heard a high beeping noise from one of his computers. A robotic, cold voice coming from the computer announced, "Voice mail from Artemis Fowl." The centaur took several deep breaths to restrain himself from laughing even more before he gave the voice command to accept the voice mail.
A furious, Irish voice emanated through the speakers, "You insufferable, vexatious, incommodious, perfidious… YOU JACKASSES! You two will rue the day so enjoy the laugh while it lasts because I will see to it that I will have the last laugh!"
The centaur and dwarf heard the phone spitefully hang up. The two friends looked at each other in silence before rolling on their backs and died of laughter.
Thanks for reading! Please comment and review! Until next time!